I could use some advice

Anonymous

November 30,2022 at 8:38AM UTC

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I could use some advice

I started a new job about 6 months ago and from the beginning, my role and responsibilities as well as the culture of the team itself is nothing like the position I interviewed for, and the "collaborative team" and "no egos here" was a complete misrepresentation: the boss creates a competitive environment among colleagues through gaslighting and talking about people rather than to them.

I am literally miserable. I have had some tough bosses over the years but this boss is the first ever that I don't trust and actually dislike. I don't have to like my boss to get the job done but it would a."nice to have".

My workload is literally a setup for failure. I could work 80 hours a week and still not get done - I specifically asked about workloads and work distribution when I interviewed and was told that it is balanced and reasonable.

I left a job where I was respected and well-liked, where there actually was collaboration. The company I now work for pursued me and I wanted to grow so I accepted what I thought would be a good opportunity for professional development; we are so busy reacting to fires and problems that we are in constant crisis mode. And yes, within my first 30 days I did suggest to my boss alternatives in a job that had become crisis management and she isn't interested. Honestly, she is checked out herself.

I have started looking for other jobs at this point.

Question: How do I take care of my well-being between now and when I leave this hell hole?

I feel like there is no way for me to succeed and the boss is highly critical of all of her direct reports, that coupled with the gaslighting and her public shaming and well, my "go-get-'em" and "I got this" spirit feels truly beaten down and I am struggling to just put one foot in front of the other at this point. I work 100% remote, which I find has contributed to my productivity over the years however in this case, contributes to feeling quite depressed.

Any feedback is welcome. Thank you.

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AnonymousNovember 30,2022 at 11:50AM UTC
Hi dear, I'm so sorry to hear about your struggle. I have been in your shoes one day and I had to focus more on my future and my skills to land another job. think of this place as a source of income only until you land /get something better. try to ignore anything that is bothering you, try meditation and charge your soul with something you like to be able to continue your journey. I wish you the best of luck!
AnonymousNovember 30,2022 at 12:52PM UTC
Hi! I am currently in a similar situation - though left my previous employer for a better work-life balance. I am doing the best that I can while waiting for something better. I have had a few offers though haven't taken them due to red flags. I wish you luck in your search!
Afo Ogbeyalu KaluNovember 30,2022 at 1:37PM UTC
Create a log which identifies your daily goals and tracks your productivity. By week's end, summarize the highlights of the week, and note which obstacles came about, or habitually prevent the efficient completion of work projects, or meeting goals. Give concrete suggestions of how productivity could be improved, based on your experiences and/or research into the particular problem.
This practice may put the issues in a format that is easier for your manager to process and act on. In addition, it is a documented cover for you, and it reaffirms that you have been carrying out your roles and responsibilities to the best of your abilities.
AnonymousNovember 30,2022 at 2:19PM UTC
If your boss is checked out abd there is no way to salvage the job then shopping for a new environment and position is your only solution.
In the meantime you prioritize your wellbeing. That means you do everything you can to focus on health so you will be able to thrive when you find your next job.
1. Eat well
2. Sleep well
3. Spend time exercising
4. Spend time in nature
5. Surround yourself with positive people and animals
6. Volunteer your time in service of others not as well off as you
7. Find ways to make the world a better place
Doing these things will improve your wellbeing, those around you and the world.
While you look for your next job you need to take your focus off a situation you have no power to change. You do your 8 hours and switch gears. You remain productive in areas outside your job. You give back to the world and not waste precious time worrying about your job. You do the bare minimum to get your paycheck and keep your benefits. Use your resourcefulness to build momentum beyond where you are. You take control of the quality of your life. Only you can do this.
Good luck.
AnonymousDecember 1,2022 at 9:29PM UTC
Thank you!
Jacqueline CutlerDecember 1,2022 at 2:21PM UTC
First, I am sorry this has been such a bad move. But you are taking proper steps to move on. Working remotely is isolating and as someone who did it for many years before the pandemic, I have a few suggestions.
If possible, join a gym. This will get you out and you'll always feel better when you leave. Set up walks and coffees with friends. If at all possible, take a walk every day.
Also, set up lunches or dinners with friends. It is too easy to become reclusive working remotely. Those are just to take care of yourself. I'd also throw in the benefits of long soaks in the tub, a glass of wine, and whenever your end of the day is, leaving the laptop in another room.
You're doing what you need to secure a new position, and these are just little things that do help lift the spirits. Best of luck!
AnonymousDecember 1,2022 at 9:29PM UTC
Thank you!