Coworker fired unexpectedly

66 Comments

1. AnonymousJuly 7,2023 at 3:47AM UTC

   As far as a response Carnelita being let go is concerned, let you heart weigh in on that. Do what you feel as honestly and authentically as you can.

   For the feeling of being vulnerable at a big organization goes, you will be vulnerable anywhere you work. That's why a strong sense of self is paramount. Life throws you curve balls. It just does. You don't always see things coming but if you have a strong sense that you are stronger than most and self reliant as hell then you have the knowledge that no matter what comes at you, you'll be fine.

2. AnonymousJuly 7,2023 at 1:22PM UTC

   Unfortunately this is a very normal way to let people go in large corporations. I've seen it many times and also had to do it myself with employees who were doing fine at the actual work but had other issues such as absenteeism and non-communication necessitating the termination. It's likely that this wasn't a laid off situation but a firing due to something personal to the co-worker. You don't know the whole story behind this. If you'd like to reach out to the person I agree with the other comment that you should do it if you want, it would probably be appreciated.

3. AnonymousJuly 7,2023 at 3:32PM UTC

   If you had a good rapport with her, I would reach out to her.

   As far as layoffs and vulnerabilities- I can empathize with you on those feelings. What I’m trying to learn is that in the end it’s just a job.

4. AnonymousJuly 7,2023 at 5:20PM UTC

   The human response would be kindness. A simple text letting them know that you're thinking of them is nice. Control what you can control, and being human is in your court. I would not push for the why, I would not go much further. The reason may be something that will surprise you, and that's good, as it was handled then correctly and not open for public knowledge.

5. KRISTIN MOOREJuly 7,2023 at 10:26PM UTC

   Many organizations won’t even mention someone has gone. No details are given to protect Carmelita. Litmus test for reaching out to her - if you’d text her to go to lunch or for a meme, etc…then reach out to her. Today, leaders are looking for people to be easy to work with - to be inclusive and ensure others feel they belong. If Carmelita was cranky and not easy to work with, it doesn’t fit the standard work culture today.

6. AnonymousJuly 8,2023 at 1:18PM UTC

   Why would you reach out to someone you just said was unpopular, cranky and missed deadlines? Based off of that description alone, it sounds like she made her own bed with this termination.

   Would you really be reaching out to wish her well or would it be to get the gossip on her exit, because we already know any convo with her would turn into a bitch-fest on how awful the organization was and to “watch your back.”

   While I understand your paranoia, it sounds like you reaching out would be to get the details of her departure…to compare to your own performance to determine if you’re also at risk of termination. Please, resist this urge at all costs!

   You were instructed by the boss not to gossip. Let this one go.

7. AnonymousJuly 9,2023 at 8:31PM UTC

   This response is absolutely spot-on and I thank you for it (I'm not the OP, but man...some of the responses I see here...I'm very surprised to be honest).

8. AnonymousJuly 12,2023 at 11:34PM UTC

   Maybe the original poster WAS friends with "Carmelita"? It sounded that way from her post. We're creating a very cold, hard world if everybody's too scared to say anything to anybody.

9. AnonymousJuly 9,2023 at 12:24PM UTC

   Definitely reach out. Get the scoop. Go for coffee but have an exit plan. Wish her well. Say nothing to anyone ever. Consider it networking. You may also learn a little more about your company.

10. AnonymousJuly 9,2023 at 12:40PM UTC

    You should not worried about getting terminated unexpectedly. I was in management at a large pharmaceutical company and while layoffs can be random, when someone is terminated like that there is a reason why. HR doesn’t approve firing without cause. She likely was on a performance plan you didn’t know about or did something non-compliant (misusing corporate card or supplies).

    I would send her a text and wish her well, maybe send her jobs you see in the area, if she wants you to.

    I was working with a coworker recently that misused her corporate card at least 3 times and her story was different than the truth. I sent her a diabetes job in her area that she was passionate about, due to her son having Type 1. She got hired and is doing well. It’s always good to help others without a job.

11. G C HesseJuly 9,2023 at 12:46PM UTC

    I'm being sarcastic..."Did they give her a 2 week notice"......when a company starts this pay attention.

12. rgstaffing@bellsouth.netJuly 9,2023 at 1:58PM UTC

    Unless you were very close friends with her, this really is not your business. Reach out if you feel it is right and offer to anything she may need in her job search. Beyond that, continue with your work habits and ethic and stear clear of water cooler conversation.

13. AnonymousJuly 9,2023 at 2:18PM UTC

    A company generally does not have to tell and often does not share because of privacy or other legal reasons why someone was let go. First, for yourself I would ask your direct manager or HR if there are to be any concerns about a reduction coming or can you feel safe. Ask it in that simple way vs making it be about her. As for reaching out to her yes, do that if you feel the need to be a kind empathetic person and wish her well. Don't ask what happened and if she offers up any information then just listen. What you learn if she shares may be useful to you. Chance are they had her sign some kind of separation agreement which would have her not disparage the company to anyone after leaving and if she had any tenure they probably tied that to a package. As for this being normal, yes this is often the way it is. They don't put anything in detail on the calendar in case calendars are public as they don't want the person to know beforehand or others that this is going to happen.

14. AnonymousJuly 9,2023 at 2:53PM UTC

    Hi! I work in HR, in most cases that someone is fired, there is absolutely a reason, and many staff won’t know what it is. To protect the person and prevent a lawsuit, they likely won’t share that reason, but if you are doing your job and not breaking policy you don’t have anything to worry about.

15. AnonymousJuly 9,2023 at 6:52PM UTC

    Also, from my personal experience, if an Apostolic Pentecostal male who believes women should not challenge the patriarchy takes over, and you are an open atheist female SJW activist, HR will be enlisted to make your life so difficult you want to leave, and then do all that paperwork stuff after you don't leave,...
    even if you are in an at-will position.

    I did a good job, and I never broke policies except unspoken ones. I met all the requirements of a BS PIP, while my boss did not (no regular meetings, signed off 2 months late, etc.), and finally I actually did become "difficult" because I asked for more work and to be included in communications after being cut off from teammates.

    Oh yeah, and they refused my reasonable ADA request and I complained to the head of HR. They had set themselves up for a lawsuit, so they bought out my contract and let me go "without cause."

    Some organizations and some units within organizations and some people in power are just plain evil. I never knew this until I experienced it.

16. Monette AndersonJuly 9,2023 at 2:54PM UTC

    I worked at an organization where it seemed this happened a lot out of the blue and the message was “don’t get too comfortable.” Another coworker of mine ended up being promoted to manager and she said she’d always thought that too, but after being part of the leadership Team she said “trust me, it is not out of the blue…there are Performance Improvement Plans and other things happening and the employee definitely knows it’s coming” I imagine the same is true here. Reaching out to Carmelita may not be a good idea…people like to avoid blame and it may just make you more worried/insecure if you only hear her side of the story

17. AnonymousJuly 9,2023 at 5:54PM UTC

    Great advice! I agree. Although, offering comforting words to someone who's lost their job may seem the right thing to do. Pause for a moment and think how reaching out to her could influence your thoughts, therefore impact your peace of mind at work. You seemed to be unsettled, already. Maybe, months later, if you still believe it's appropriate, send her a text or an email wishing her well, without asking anything about the situation.

18. AnonymousJuly 9,2023 at 3:42PM UTC

    Offering kindness should never be a hesitation...and certainly, let her know that you enjoyed working with her. She's feeling crushed right now and 100 % demoralized...but also, stay under the radar and don't discuss at work. Companies can terminate for any reason or no good reason, especially in certain states. But do offer warm wishes to her privately. Also...yes. this is how most companies handle terminations. You'll never know.

19. AnonymousJuly 9,2023 at 6:03PM UTC

    I am so sorry to hear this has happened to what sounded like a good colleague. I would not wait to reach out to her privately. I would do so before the week is out. Offer your condolences and if she shares with you what happened, of course you would keep that information to yourself.

    Also invite her to connect with you on LinkedIn. You might end up being able to connect her with someone who can help her find her next job. Do the right thing!

20. AnonymousJuly 9,2023 at 9:08PM UTC

    Yes!!

21. AnonymousJuly 9,2023 at 4:03PM UTC

    It's probably not unexpected - the most likely scenario is that she was already on a PIP.

22. AnonymousJuly 9,2023 at 4:51PM UTC

    Literally zero reason to assume a PIP. Are you not aware of the current market? Every single day, people are let go without any notice. Way more often than a PIP. Chill on the assumptions.

23. AnonymousJuly 9,2023 at 8:22PM UTC

    I don't think that this particular assumption is out of line whatsoever.

24. Zeecil KimmelJuly 10,2023 at 4:00AM UTC

    My coworker was let go as said in another post - it was the let us save money to make it look good to the stock market layoff. I would not assume a PIP or any reason and if you are able to reach out to your former co-worker it would be a great kindness.

25. AnonymousJuly 12,2023 at 11:30PM UTC

    It seems companies care more about their shareholders these days than their employees or customers.
    Shame!

26. Julie HagerJuly 10,2023 at 12:18PM UTC

    AGREED ?

27. Julie HagerJuly 10,2023 at 12:18PM UTC

    Not necessarily on a PIP.

    AT WILL states can discharge with no discipline or warning -& walk you out like a criminal

28. AnonymousJuly 12,2023 at 10:34PM UTC

    That is not necessarily true. Even in an "at will" state, people in a protected or ADA disability class cannot be terminated except "for cause" (i.e., failed provisions in a PIP, meaning one HAS to be written, or a severe illegal or ethical infraction covered under company policy.) Otherwise, the company can be sued for EEO violations and required to authorize paying unemployment.

29. AnonymousJuly 9,2023 at 5:15PM UTC

    Someone else’s termination is typically a surprise people. Attitude, workload, work quality, deadlines, ethics, all come into play. While some of these things are apparent, many aren’t and you’ll never know.

    I think it’s kind to reach out and wish them well.

30. AnonymousJuly 9,2023 at 6:26PM UTC

    This doesn't sound right to me, this happened. To me and I have been working for 39 years. Helping people in my community and also won big city award.

    word for that in the city.

31. AnonymousJuly 10,2023 at 12:17PM UTC

    ?

    I feel you

    Not in a good place myself- can't find work and NEED it

    Shame on the employers who decide they don't like someone and don't know facts just go and fire someone

32. AnonymousJuly 9,2023 at 6:44PM UTC

    Yes, reach out to her.

    She may not be allowed to discuss the specifics with you, so don't ask. The possible reasons for letting someone go are almost infinite, and fellow employees won't be privy to HR details unless the employee discusses it.

    I was let go almost 2 years ago, and a few coworkers did contact me with empathy. I greatly appreciated it.

33. AnonymousJuly 9,2023 at 9:06PM UTC

    Same

34. AnonymousJuly 9,2023 at 8:21PM UTC

    This is a situation where I would advise that you stay in your lane. You do not know, nor should you know, the circumstances around her termination.

35. G MicheleJuly 9,2023 at 9:04PM UTC

    Reach out to her.

36. Julie HagerJuly 10,2023 at 12:15PM UTC

    She may not want to talk to anyone. (The fired coworker)if she was cold fired. I dont blame her. I was one of the best most loyal workers and got fired out of the blue in May. I'm very bitter & trust no one, not even those I thought were my friends.

37. Liz MilneJuly 10,2023 at 12:48AM UTC

    I find it weird that you were told anyone was 'let go' rather than just, 'she's left the company' - aside from that, as you said yourself - you don't KNOW what happened, she might well deserve firing. I would keep my head down, do my work and not reach out or investigate in any way, personally...

38. Julie HagerJuly 10,2023 at 12:13PM UTC

    I was cold fired in May. No reason (other than folks didn't like me ) and because we are an At-Will state they don't have to give a reason. I have ignored co-workers who've reached out since then - tho I thought were my few friends i had - i trust no one. I loved my job. I struggle finding work- applied to 100 jobs and then there us age discrimination. I've been on several interviews- make it ton3rd rounds- that I thought went well then they go dark.

    I'm sorry i am not able to offer anything to you but comment here because yours is not isolated & happening more often.

    I'm scared for myself because I have no household income

39. AnonymousJuly 10,2023 at 12:27PM UTC

    It happened to me. I was very well liked and was fired out of the blue in 2020. I was devastated. A lot of folks reached out and I’m still close to many of them. The truth is, none of us are really immune from this type of situation. Best to be kind, keep meticulous notes in the case that it does happen, and to do your best work. That’s all you can do! No sense in worrying!

40. AnonymousJuly 10,2023 at 12:59PM UTC

    If you really want to give condolences, your words will come naturally. If you are curious about why she got fired, be honest up front.

    An aching heart can sense fake. You might find that your work is toxic. If that is the case, then leave before it happens to you.

    Your management should also tell the tale if you confide in them your concerns. Most companies that become toxic will consider a team fit to be top priority. It will be obvious that you rocked the boat.

    Best Wishes.

41. AnonymousJuly 10,2023 at 1:32PM UTC

    IF u find her on LinkedIn - reach out that way. Otherwise, mind your biz. Head down & work. Avoid the gossip that will undoubtedly occur now that they've specifically stated NOT TO. That should be your main concern. Don't get caught up in the "extra" around this situation.

    Sounds like you have a bit of job PTSD from your last experience (huge assumption, this is not meant to be an accusation). If this is true, research whether your company offers an EAP so you can address this on their dime.

    Cheerio!

42. AnonymousJuly 10,2023 at 2:39PM UTC

    Wow, this could've been written about me (except I wasn't cranky and didn't miss deadlines). After it happened, only ONE of my co-workers reached out to me - and it hurt a lot. If you care about this person at all, and as long as no one has specificially said you can't reach out, I would do it if you can (via LinkedIn as others have mentioned).

43. AnonymousJuly 10,2023 at 9:04PM UTC

    I find it strange that employees at any company could be commanded to not reach out to someone, on their own time and using own their personal e-mail and phone numbers. I would not want to work for a company that tried to monitor their employees private lives to such an extent that they could dictate who an employee can and cannot communicate with outside of work hours.

44. AnonymousJuly 13,2023 at 2:22AM UTC

    This could be a touchy situation as the person fired may be so upset that the wrong thing is said to the OP or by the OP. Or the person may repeat what the OP said. Words and impressions are very hard to know what was really said. It could get back to the company that the OP said something she didn't. I understand thinking about the person and wishing them well. But the less said and the less communication is probably better. I have been on both sides and know how difficult it can be.

45. AnonymousJuly 10,2023 at 2:54PM UTC

    Cranky and missing deadlines are two things that can spell disaster for longevity in any job. It was probably something she was either written up for and failed the PIP, or she picked the wrong person to be cranky or miss a deadline. Just keep your head down, and if you were close and you care about her, you can reach out (unless you were explicitly told not to. Just be careful not to betray confidence or engage in "water cooler" discussions if you get "insight" from her because you will only have one side of the story.

46. Dusti AveryJuly 10,2023 at 3:44PM UTC

    Sorry for the distress this is causing. I understand and have been there. I would reach out to show you care for sure, especially if you worked closely with this person. As far as questioning if it could happen to you, of course there are no guarantees in the workforce, but I am a big proponent of soliciting feedback often. I have found that it's not given as much or as often as its necessary so I ask for it. I ask my manager how I am doing in the role, what specifically I am doing well and what I need to work on, and if there is anything additional they could tell me that would help me be a better employee, more productive, a better communicator, etc. That may help you feel more comfortable in your situation or maybe not. Hang in there!

47. AnonymousJuly 10,2023 at 3:59PM UTC

    I would stop and examine underlying emotions and intent before reaching out. If your urge to reach out is rooted in making yourself feel better, might be more effective to do some internal work (with or without a therapist) and investigate that, the urge is probably a symptom of some anxiety and insecurity you're feeling.

    If you feel like you had a genuine connection with this person and want to wish her well, then go ahead and reach out, but don't do so in a way that is digging for information. You could send a coffee gift card or something and tell her you hope it brightens her day.

48. AnonymousJuly 10,2023 at 8:55PM UTC

    From her original post, it seems to me the poster wants to reach out to her ex-colleague solely out of kindness and concern. I don't get the feeling she has any motives, intent or hidden agenda.

49. Marina ChristiansJuly 10,2023 at 4:31PM UTC

    Just do it. Everyone needs encouragement.

50. Cassenda NelsonJuly 10,2023 at 4:41PM UTC

    Reach out she may need support

51. Valentina Huang, MBA, SHRM-CPJuly 10,2023 at 5:59PM UTC

    If you have befriended 'Carmelita' and have a good relationship and care about her as a friend, then yes, please do reach out. If your intent is to get intel on what happened, then probably not. Terminations can be tough for all involved; sometimes there can be retaliation and you do not want to be in the middle of that.

52. Maggie StoneJuly 10,2023 at 7:10PM UTC

    If you have her personal phone or email, I see no harm in saying that you are sorry you didn’t get to wish her well before she left but you wish her the best of luck in the future. It will be appreciated. She may not accept social media invitations if she is still smarting from the firing and doesn’t want to broadcast what she is up to.

53. AnonymousJuly 10,2023 at 7:48PM UTC

    If you have Carmelita's contact information, like e-mail or phone number, you can try to reach out to her. Otherwise, just wish her the the best. Sometimes, people do not always want to be contacted or to let others where they may be working at.

54. AnonymousJuly 10,2023 at 8:06PM UTC

    Being let go can be a very lonely experience. It's happened to me twice and it made me so happy when co-workers reached out to me whether it was with a few words of kindness or taking me out to coffee (this depended on how close I was with them). And for most, we still keep in touch and they have offered to assist with my job searches through their network and written some recommendations on LinkedIn. Every situation is different but there isn't any "normal" way after someone has left. It sounds like you want to reach out and it couldn't hurt whether you get a response or not but when/if she's ready to reply, she will.

55. AnonymousJuly 11,2023 at 7:13AM UTC

    I have worked for several employers, both in private and public sectors, the main that has been in every sector is the lack of promoting diversity and inclusion. Although there is legislation to ensure this, many employers just pay lip service to it.

    My recent employer, a well national charity, has extensive bullying and harassment of Black/Asian staff. The game being played is yes, non white staff are taken on, but their life is made a nightmare by management, immense pressure and micro supervision is paramount, causing many to leave. It has become box ticking to satisfy

    legal aspect. If things are going pear shape, Asian worker gets the blame. Bradford council is the biggest barrier to community cohesion. This all impacts on society and needs addressing.

56. cyber star2850July 11,2023 at 1:26PM UTC

    Fairly new here and someone let me know is it always like this? is no one allowed to point out how useless or attention seeking it looks... Someone took the time to create a new question comment or concern and half the comments are from other people describing thier situation that shares no resemblance or may be of use to the original posters concerns

    To answer the original question yes this is normal as an at will employee you yourself said she didn't fit well with other workers missed deadlines and may have had hundreds of other issues that you were not made aware of. If you feel you were average comparable to her then is be less worry about what the employer is doing and focus more on what you can do to first distance your self from the person who was let go. Don't go trying to be helpful as a ruse to gossip and maybe alleviate some of the fears and worried you have. If you are consistent and focused on work you won't have to worry about anything else

57. AnonymousJuly 11,2023 at 8:40PM UTC

    Not necessarily: If you are consistent and focused on work you won't have to worry about anything else

    That is what I DID and got fired - explain THAT except for someone who didn't like me

58. cyber star2850July 13,2023 at 6:35PM UTC

    I said if you are consistent and focused on work you won't have to worry about anything else. By that I mean what happens to the first employee who got fired. And I find it difficult to see an employee who communicates well and delivers consistent work being let go for anything work related. But you'll realize that communication between anyone in any company at any level is the key to success. You could hire hundred a of employees all on technical merit alone and get the same results but the promotions and positions will always be given out to those who show the ability to communicate effectively can lead others that's how you end up with the supervisor who clearly doesn't know all the technicals probably couldn't solve the problem everyone's been stuck in but he has a way of being able to communicate with upper management and is able to delegate to those under him what they want.

59. AnonymousJuly 11,2023 at 3:39PM UTC

    First of all, you don’t know what you don’t know. There may have been other factors you may not know about regarding the circumstances of this person’s exit. Or it can be boiled down to that everyone has a “file”. Some have a thick file while others have a thin file. If she said the wrong thing to the wrong person they may have pulled her file and found an excuse to let her go. But, we don’t know.

    If you had a decent working relationship with her I would reach out and wish her well. You never know where people will end up and it’s always good to be on good terms, even if you just want to be a decent human being. You don’t need to ask for details. Just say you’re sorry and you hope for a better future.

    I’m in an industry that layoffs are common and I always reach out to my co-workers when they get laid off and I remember the ones that reach out to me when it happens. They are also the ones I think of when an opportunity arises. Take care!

60. AnonymousJuly 11,2023 at 8:09PM UTC

    I can empathize with you. I can also see you are trying to put the situation in context, without resorting to “ gossip “ That said, the only thing you can do is be your best and observe the situation. I believe in due time, you will find out why she was terminated.

    Hang in there, and don’t let get the best of you.

61. Tiana MumfordJuly 12,2023 at 12:26PM UTC

    Good day

    I agree with the one person I would reach out only if you had a good relationship with her otherwise you should ask yourself am I really concerned about her well-being?

    One thing it will surface but again those will be rumors. The only people that know why is her the ex-coworker and the , superior . However , the flip side if you were close with her trust me you will find out no doubt . Moving forward it shows you how the company operates. I live in a state where they do not have to have a reason you can be let go . Blessings

62. AnonymousJuly 12,2023 at 12:40PM UTC

    Keep in mind that there could be plenty of reasons why she was let go that you would not be privy to. Coming from HR, I wish I could tell employees some of the reasons why someone was terminated unexpectedly so I could ease their worries about being "the next one" especially in an economic climate like this where layoffs are happening across industries. It could be anything from a legitimate but difficult business decision, to the employee doing something egregious, to the employee not consistently meeting expectations. You've been getting positive feedback, focus on that and ask your manager if there's anything you can do to be even better and recognize that you have no idea what kind of feedback Carmelita was getting in private conversations with her manager. And as others have said, if you hade a good relationship with here and would want to stay in touch if she had left the company by her own decisions, then it makes sense to reach out and stay connected.

63. AnonymousJuly 13,2023 at 6:32PM UTC

    I would say, reach out to Carmelita and wish her all the best, without going into too much detail. If she wants to discuss further she will. When someone is let go from a company, some reach out and some don't depending on how close you are with your co-workers I guess, do what your heart tells you too.

64. AnonymousJuly 15,2023 at 8:27PM UTC

    If you and Carmelita were not close, just don't do it and let it go. You could harm your standing within the company if anyone found out you reached out to her. Like it or not, everyone is judged by the company they keep. Other than that, you are never entitled to know what HR knows. Privacy matters. Your employer owes no explanation outside of HR, upper mgmt, and Carmelita.

    Focus on your own skillset and how to advance it. Since you fear layoffs, keep your ducks in a row for your next opportunity, whether inside or outside your current employer.

65. Maggie StoneJuly 16,2023 at 6:44PM UTC

    If she reaches out on her own time with her her own technology, I don’t see how the company could have an issue. But I probably would stay away from social media invites.

66. AnonymousJuly 19,2023 at 12:42AM UTC

    I agree. What the original poster does with her own time and her own e-mail, is her business. Not the company's.

    And just because someone is suddenly an ex-employee, doesn't mean they must be avoided like the plague by their former colleagues. I do hope the O.P. has reached out to Carmelita by now!