Looking for Advice — Navigating Layoff, Chemo, Grief, and Financial Uncertainty

25 Comments

1. AnonymousNovember 18,2025 at 9:08PM UTC

   Negotiating severance is not something I can speak to but I can speak to how to consider moving forward during a time like this. I too have come through a very tough phase in my life.

   I found that staying in the moment and taking small steps in those moments are what saved me. I worked selfcare into all aspects of my life. I made small plans that included fining a financial planner to help me with laying the frame work of sound decisions, budgets and longer range investments when I suffered from brain fog and no sense of money management.

   I began therapy to help me uncover who I was and what I truly wanted under the chaos. I started a meditation practice to settle my mind and a stretching class to unwind my nerves. Just steps planned each week or so incorporating small changes and creating peace. From there I focused on being open to change and closing doors that no longer served me. I slowly noticed opportunity, people and direction that were meant for me.

   Just think in small steps and breathe. Hold on to your center and trust your momentum and the feeling inside you. You'llbe surprised by what your body and spirit tell you if sit still.

2. AnonymousNovember 18,2025 at 11:22PM UTC

   It's been my experience that severance packages are negotiable. I've seen it happen a lot. Now with that said, when I've seen this, it's not been with a company that's closing its doors but rather company is still up and running but these were reductions/restructuring. Why is the company closing? Bankruptcy? Something else? I don't know that you may have as much room to negotiate when the company is actually closing up shop.

3. Dr. Patty GrossNovember 19,2025 at 1:24PM UTC

   Consider filing for disability, as it will make you eligible for Medicare and provide an income (probably better than unemployment, based on your tenure where you are. Eligibility for people over 50 has become much easier because the time to full retirement makes retraining (if necessary) an issue. Once your treatment is complete, you can work your way back into the workforce. Before you decide to take COBRA, check out the marketplace. I know the marketplace prices are going very high right now, but COBRA premiums are way high.

4. AnonymousNovember 19,2025 at 1:33PM UTC

   From a financial perspective, it’s time to lock down the budget and get rid of all non essential spending. Did your husband leave a life insurance policy? How can you minimize your living costs? Will moving be necessary? Don’t wait until you run out of funds, pretend you’re at zero now and act accordingly.

5. Beth Whight MoralesNovember 19,2025 at 1:35PM UTC

   Reach out to the facility where you are receiving treatment. They should have a social worker available for cancer care patients. You need professional help fast to figure out this financial situation, and they should either be able to guide you to financial support programs or put you in touch with professionals who can help you navigate that situation. There may be resources available to help you cover the financial cost of your treatment even if you lose your insurance - and COBRA is not a great option for you. But they do have resources to help, and at the very least, you won’t feel like you have to deal with all of this alone.

6. Allyson DohertyNovember 19,2025 at 2:02PM UTC

   Check out cancerandcareers.org they have some great resources

7. AnonymousNovember 19,2025 at 5:24PM UTC

   Alot to unpack. First good luck with your treatments as someone who has been through something similar I'm sending up prayers for your health to improve. And condolences on your loss.

   Secondly, if the company closes all health care plans go away. You should consult an attorney that specializes in health related severance packages. Check with your local bar association for a referral or a free consultation. You should ask for them to cover the costs of medical coverage for at least 1 year and have them cover the premiums for the cost if you can. Usually for severance most companies give 1 month for each year of service but if the company is closing because of financial reasons this may be a sticking point for them. Your situation is special vs all the other employees because of your disclosed medical situation but still it may be difficult to get them to budge on what they may have offered similarly to all others across the board.

   Try to find out if the company will be sold and if so find out if you can be transferred under new ownership to the next employer.

   Wishing you well as you navigate this territory. I've been there...

8. Sherri CarlsonNovember 19,2025 at 6:40PM UTC

   COBRA is crazy expensive. Several years ago my husband was laid off and I was an at-home mom so we had zero income. I was very lucky that a friend informed me about MassHealth (I live in MA) which was much more affordable. I had no idea this was available until she told me.

   From an online search, here are several options:

   When unemployed, you can get health insurance through COBRA to continue your old plan, the Affordable Care Act (ACA) Marketplace for subsidized plans, or government programs like Medicaid if you have low income. Other options include joining a family member's plan or exploring specific state programs if available.

   Fingers crossed the ACA premiums won't skyrocket due to the current administration's actions.

9. AnonymousNovember 19,2025 at 7:59PM UTC

   First and foremost I am so sorry for all of your losses and this stress cannot be beneficial to your health. I went through something very similar minus cancer but I had diseases and spine procedures I had to navigate and unemployment requires you to be approved for work physically and mentally. If your doctor can write you a note saying you are approved to do remote work, you can easily qualify for unemployment since its no fault of your own your company is shutting down. I would speak to an attorney and have them review your separation agreement. That includes cobra coverage. This is your time to try to negotiate the terms. My old boss died yesterday and she was in remission. I hate to think she spent her last days working. I am not saying this to scare you and I am praying your chemo works, not working will probably be a blessing for you right now. Money is a concern but there are resolutions. Like they say in grief counseling...day by day. Praying for you, you are not alone.

10. AnonymousNovember 20,2025 at 12:55AM UTC

    I am so sorry for all you have gone through recently. The loss of your husband and a cancer diagnosis have to be devastating blows. You should consult an attorney. There are many who offer free consultations and don't collect money unless you win a legal case. Legal Aid can help you find one. I hope there is money from your husband's estate that will help you with bills, and if not, perhaps a cancer charity will help you. The main thing is taking care of your health, physical and mental. Do you have children, parents, or other relatives who might be able to reduce your burden either financially or by making calls/taking care of paperwork for you? Prayers for a full recovery and plentiful money for you.

11. AnonymousNovember 20,2025 at 2:43PM UTC

    Im so sorry you are going through this. As a general rule you should get 2 weeks severance for every year served. I have successfully negotiated severance in past layoffs and have had it increased. Also you can ask for either continuation of insurance or a COBRA subsidy added to your severance package.

    And lastly, the affordable care act is not necessarily affordable if you made decent money the prior year. After my last 2 layoffs I did not qualify for any subsidy. And by searching they will call you non stop.

12. AnonymousNovember 20,2025 at 8:32PM UTC

    It's not a hard and fast rule - different companies have different policies on severance and often employers will have different policies depending on employee class (whether individual contributor, manager/professional, director, executive, etc.). Individual companies also have built into their severance policies whether they will provide a COBRA subside and how much (one company I worked for provided a COBRA subsidy for the duration of what the severance term was (i.e. if an individual qualified for 3 months severance, they would also get 3 months COBRA) whereas another company I worked for was 3 months no matter what.

    But you are right that ACA isn't necessarily affordable, even less so of late from what I understand.

13. AnonymousNovember 21,2025 at 3:34PM UTC

    I think the part that is hard is that the company is closing which means they probably don't have much money so may not be able to give more than is offered.

    I agree with another that severance differs by company. Recently I saw 1 week per year from a large corporation but longer time with health insurance.

    Her best bet is to ask and see what happens, nothing is guaranteed at this point.

14. Erin VegaNovember 21,2025 at 1:48AM UTC

    I just wanted to send you some virtual hugs and good vibes your way!! My husband was taken from me in June and it takes everything I have just to get out of bed (if I've slept) in the morning.

15. Maria FeltonNovember 21,2025 at 1:34PM UTC

    God will give you the victory! Keep praying that all your prayers will be answered.

16. Girly GirlNovember 21,2025 at 1:39PM UTC

    Sorry to hear about this. What a hard and liminal space you are in. My heart goes out to you...I think you should tell them you have major health issues (disclosing whatever you're comfortable with) and ask for as much severance and/or Cobra as possible. It's a long shot if they really are closing but there doesn't sound like there is any downside in playing the pity card because you really are in a position of need and have been a loyal employee for years. Hang in there...

17. AnonymousNovember 21,2025 at 1:46PM UTC

    First of all, I'm so, so sorry for your situation. I think it's absurd that there is no universal care in the USA, in despite it being one of the richest countries on Earth. I can just imagine the impact that the uncertainty and helplessness can have at your mental health.

    Do you have the possibility of hiring a lawyer to negotiate in your favour? In my personal experience, that makes a HUGE diference when negotiating severance conditions. I would in addition also try for any sindical or community support available. After hearing your situation, they maybe can help you to find creative solutions, or even help you to raise some money with Fundme or any other organization.

    Good lucky, and remember you are not alone!

18. Lisa NellisNovember 21,2025 at 2:52PM UTC

    Her being in the US, it's highly unlikely there are any "sindical" (Union) resources available. Unions have been all but killed off here.

19. AnonymousNovember 21,2025 at 2:04PM UTC

    Very sorry to hear about your situation. It is common in later stage of life that there are a lot of uncertainties and sometimes very challenging ones. If I may offer a suggestion, get a social worker from your community or hospital that can help you navigate your healthcare costs. For work, hire an employment lawyer to get the best severance package, while also trying to find a social worker to help you get well fare benefits that you may be eligible for. Also, if you have a financial planner, meet with them to evaluate your current assets and how do you manage to maintain your living expenses while you are still going through treatment.

    Take care of yourself and find someone you trust to talk things through. Your mental health is important too.

20. AnonymousNovember 21,2025 at 4:51PM UTC

    Firstly, I can feel (and understand) your overwhelm. Big deep breath, hug (from me)...it's going to be ok. But this is a big project on top of grief, loss, and low energy. Remember: Fatigue is a very negative voice. And so...Let's get down to brass tacks. Cobra is "alot"- fOR EVERYONE laid off. You are not unique with this problem. Given your circumstances, I would NOT CHANGE your insurance coverage one Iota right now. Stay the course, set aside $$ and pay it. You need consistent coverage right now inorder to navigate the next 18 mos. Accept the cost- it feels defeating but not just for you...for everyone at your company. This is just reality. It feels unfair but it is not. After 18 mos, you'll be a different person- thru chemo and surgery- and can think about other coverage options (I am a primary care provider, woman/mother/grandmother and job loss victim also)--- you "might" consider asking for a larger severance package, but I cannot guarantee that your employer will be sympathetic to your situation and give you more. Typically, when businesses "shut down", sell, go bankrupt, etc...they have a well planned-out execution of the financials. Already decided by their financial team and finacial position. My prior hospital employer had severance packages based upon years of service. I do know of someone (one of my peers) who hired an attorney for 5K, and got approx 10K MORE than me....she had been with the hospital one year longer than myself. So....not sure it's worth it. You'll have to decide about consulting an employment attorney. Get a good one. A typical 1 hour consult fee is approx $400- if that will give you a sense of ease, then pay it and find out more.... You def want to ask if you can apply for unemployment (and you SHOULD QUALIFY), once all of your vacation time is paid out, and your severance is paid out. If the severance is going to throw you into a crazy higher tax bracket, you can sometimes ask for the severance to be paid out (some this tax year, and some after Jan 1)- because your severance IS taxable. Your remaining (payable?) vacation hours are also taxable and if you are saving into a 401K/403B every month, that will be taken OUT before you get the check. This cannot be changed once the decision to terminate occurs (been there/done that). Do you want/need dental? that can be cobra'd also..we ended up buying a Delta Dental policy for $26/mos and left my employer's plan . My biggest piece of advice for you is to just keep the medical insurance you have for the next 18 mos...you will be glad you did, as all of your docs/meds and providers (the ones you like and trust) are in THAT network and your care will be seamless. I hate to ask, but did your spouse have a pension, life insurance, etc? Please don't ignore other resources...and lean on smart sensible loved ones to just walk with you. You will be OKAY....it's been a hard year. God bless you.

21. Kelsey BurnesNovember 21,2025 at 5:42PM UTC

    Hi there, while I have not been in your exact position, I just wanted to share my thoughts and greatest sympathies. I cannot imagine going through all three (losing your husband, your own medical issues, and your company closing) all at once.

    My advice is to focus on finding a new job as soon as possible. Usually hiring slows down around this time but I still found my current job over the holidays (or soon after) and so did my partner, so it's not impossible.

    I'd also suggest networking with your current company's colleagues to see what their plans are. Have some left already that you can ask for recommendations to their new companies? Or at the very least you can add a nice list of recommendations/network to add to your profile. It could open your eyes to new opportunities you hadn't thought of before.

    Be flexible, you don't need to look for your 'dream job' during this next period. Look for positions or companies you may not have considered in the past. Consider part time roles, etc.

    I think it's fair to share your story (up to what you are comfortable with) with new employers. Transparency is everything and will be well-appreciated by your interviewers when considering to take you on.

    I always think when the universe/god give you so many life-changing trials at once, it can seem so dark, but it turns out to be a breakthrough you never thought you needed. I believe this could turn into something really amazing for your career, life, and well-being.

    Sending all my best and happy to connect further if you need!

22. Yolanda WilsonNovember 21,2025 at 6:21PM UTC

    Hi,

    I was in this situation, and I too was just starting chemo. Try to negotiate for the company to pay your COBRA premiums for just over the length of your treatment. This should include treatments, reconstruction and follow-up appointments.

23. Gloria SinibaldiNovember 21,2025 at 7:55PM UTC

    Depending on what state you live in severence pay does not affect your unemployment benefits, --they don't count as income. For Example, in California they do not. There are a few other states that follow the same guidelines including Florida, Texas and New York. Check into it where you live, but I would advise you file immediately (as soon as you become officially laid off) because even if you don't qualify right away you've established a timeline as to when you first became unemployed. Secondly, I've been through a round of chemo myself and even though I didn't have a severe reaction like some have, it did bring on a fair amount of fatigue. Maybe time off, if you can make that work, until you get through chemo or at least until you know how you will adjust to it, might be a gift. Lastly, but very important. Keep your networks up. Make phone calls, go to networking events. Contact former colleagues and update you LinkedIn profile. The holidays present a good opportunity to talk to people at parties and get togethers. And finally, take heart. This could be the beginning of something wonderful in the long run. There's usually a silver lining, even if we have to wait for it. Cancer treatments are so much more advanced now. It's amazing. Having said that, I am so sorry you are suffering through so many losses at the same time. Stay strong. Don't give up. You can do this. I wish you the very best.

24. AyianNovember 21,2025 at 10:36PM UTC

    The cost of Cobra is not worthwhile. It's a pre-ACA relic. Apply for social security disability instead and you'll get Medicaid, which will cover the cost of your chemo and surgery. If, due to current political shenanigans, your treatment doesn't get covered, ACA allows you to, at any time when your circumstances significantly chance, to get comprehensive insurance inclusive of preexisting conditions - like your cancer.

    As for negotiating, you might consider looking at the maximum out of pocket for a good gold plan level insurance package and request that they increase your severance by that amount to ensure that you are cared for during 2026.

25. AnonymousNovember 24,2025 at 2:59PM UTC

    SSDI takes months to award (or longer).