3 times a charm?

Anonymous

July 14,2022 at 1:24PM UTC

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3 times a charm?

I worked at an extremely toxic work environment and left 2 years ago. Someone I worked for at that place has for the 3rd time tried to connect with me on LinkedIn. I declined the other 2 invitations. I do not want any contact with her. I have close to 800 connections on LinkedIn and although my relationship with her wasn’t good I have good connections and good relationships with others. I’m wondering if she wants to connect with me for my connections /connections (the company she works for is a vendor). I have a setting in LinkedIn that you have to be part of my circle to see my connections. I’m sure with the way she treated me it’s not for catching up on old times.

So here’s my question: there’s no way I’m accepting the connection but should I just decline like the other 2 times or should I say something? This experience feels like I left a bad relationship and my ex boyfriend is trying to contact me. I want to remain professional.

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Nina JohnsonJuly 14,2022 at 1:36PM UTC
Since this is not someone you ever wish to connect with (and you suspect her invites are more for solicitation of your contacts), I would recommend blocking her. It works much the same as other social media - she won’t know and will no longer even see your profile in searches. Here’s the steps:
1. Go to her LinkedIn profile.
2.Tap “more” icon on top right of screen
3.Tap “report/block” from drop down menu
4.Tap “block [her name]”
5.When confirmation pops up, click “block”
I hope that helps - sometimes it’s the only way to establish that boundary!
Barbara WhiteJuly 15,2022 at 7:28PM UTC
Thanks Nina! I didn't realize that LinkedIn had a "block" feature but it makes sense that it would.
AnonymousJuly 14,2022 at 1:48PM UTC
I would decline without explanation.
AnonymousJuly 14,2022 at 2:08PM UTC
Normally when people speak of their toxic experience it is also associated with trauma.
And if so your well being needs to always come first. Therefore, NO CONTACT
Also, linked in does have a block feature. Not sure why you have not used it by now. When you block someone I linked in, they cannot even view your profile on linked in nor connect or reach you. That could and should have been done the 1st time around. When someone is blocked, linked in does not tell them that, your profile is just no longer found or available to that specific person.
Elaine JaraJuly 14,2022 at 2:15PM UTC
Decline the invite and report/block her profile to LinkedIn. (You can follow the "More" menu on her profile to find this option.) This shouldn't notify her that you blocked her, but she will be unable to view your profile and send you more requests. Hope this might help!
Elaine JaraJuly 14,2022 at 2:15PM UTC
Oops - someone already recommended this - disregard! (Lesson learned - always expand ALL the comments, Elaine. ha!)
Lesa Edwards, Career Coach & Master Resume WriterJuly 14,2022 at 2:49PM UTC
If you don't decline (and don't accept either), she won't be able to ask you again - it will show as pending on her end.
Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistJuly 14,2022 at 7:54PM UTC
I agree with Lesa - don't decline, just ignore it.
If you ignore the invite, she can't send you another.
ChristineJuly 14,2022 at 11:36PM UTC
Just decline-less is more!
Sue Gordon- retired Career CoachJuly 15,2022 at 12:12PM UTC
Just decline. And ignore. Not worth the energy you are putting into thinking about it.
Jacqueline CutlerJuly 15,2022 at 12:33PM UTC
Just say no. You don't owe her anything.
Paulla Fetzek, MSEdJuly 15,2022 at 1:08PM UTC
You're kind for being concerned about this and I appreciate that very much.
But others are right. You don't owe the person anything and I would simply not accept or acknowledge. I do this all the time with people I don't know who reach out to me - especially "head hunters".
Audrey KirschJuly 16,2022 at 3:27AM UTC
If she wanted to be in touch to build a positive relationship with you, there are other ways she could get in touch. Keep declining the request. Your gut is telling you something isn’t right. Trust that.
Crystal HowellJuly 16,2022 at 12:28PM UTC
Just block her or report her to Linked In, stalking.
Jenna VillaflorJuly 16,2022 at 1:02PM UTC
You could also just block them
Rosemary Chevere Ramos BradleyJuly 16,2022 at 1:13PM UTC
decline and say nothing.
AnonymousJuly 16,2022 at 1:20PM UTC
Just decline and have nothing to say!!
JYJJuly 16,2022 at 1:30PM UTC
Just block her and be done with it.
Rosaline GibbonsJuly 16,2022 at 1:35PM UTC
You don’t have to say a word to her.
Just decline or block her.
GirlBossanova934974July 16,2022 at 1:47PM UTC
LinkedIn gives you 2 choices when someone sends you a proposed connection. Accept or Ignore. Button A or Button B. It takes a second or two to push the IGNORE button. Done!
AnonymousJuly 16,2022 at 1:49PM UTC
Agree with other comments. You can just block her. You don’t have to say anything.
Gina Maria VegasJuly 16,2022 at 3:21PM UTC
Maybe she didnt know what she had till its gone? Ever think it could be a positive trying to get you back she might have realisd why you left
AnonymousJuly 16,2022 at 7:13PM UTC
Normally I’d agree with you. I’m pretty gracious. She trash talked me and back stabbed me in a way I couldn’t defend myself. She distorted who I was to her boss. She also nearly prevented me from seeing my dying mother in law and caused me to not be there when she died. She threatened my job and my husband was not able to work at the time so she had the upper hand. Because of her I had to say goodbye to my mother in law over the phone. There’s some things you just can’t come back from in my book and was pretty classless bottom of the barrel behaviour.
Ms. S.July 17,2022 at 7:24AM UTC
I am so sorry to hear that you endured such grief at the hands of this person. As previously suggested, simply ignore the request without giving a single response. Never entertain toxic people in any way, shape or form.
Mary WehrleJuly 16,2022 at 8:58PM UTC
One could always wish, but this is the same thinking that women employ to return to an abuser.
A toxic workplace is an abusive work place and we aren't obligated to give former co-workers a second chance.
misskelleypJuly 16,2022 at 5:30PM UTC
As others have said, just block her. One has the option when asking to connect, to send a message with the connect request - she hasn't done so, so likely she's just trying to milk your connections. Bleah. Ignore her and be done.
Wanda ShawJuly 16,2022 at 6:05PM UTC
I'm in agreement with everyone else, either ignore or block her. And move on.
Bretley DannerJuly 16,2022 at 6:10PM UTC
You don’t have to connect with everyone on social media (LinkedIn) that tries to connect with you!! 800 people is a lot (lol).
She is out of your life for a good reason, and it is not unprofessional to keep it that way… Keep on keeping on, and leave toxicity behind you!!
AnonymousJuly 16,2022 at 9:02PM UTC
Ignore the invitations.
You don't even need to decline. If you leave as pending they won't be able to send a new request. I have done the same in the past. If its a toxic colleague from a toxic workplace it is best to not have them part of your network. Put it all behind you and focus on the good connections. No need to message them or offer any explanation.
AnonymousJuly 19,2022 at 5:21AM UTC
I agree! Leave the request pending. As noted in previous posts, that way another request cannot be sent. If you decline again, the request can be sent again. With leavining it pending, you will not have to deal with requests any more.
AnonymousJuly 16,2022 at 9:42PM UTC
Block her, no reason to explain why. Its called Karma...
AnonymousJuly 16,2022 at 10:00PM UTC
Just block her if it doesn't stop. I have blocked toxic people I worked with in the past who I have no interest in keeping in touch with. There is nothing wrong with cutting someone off completely if you have no desire to stay connected in any way.
Kathleen FisherJuly 16,2022 at 11:48PM UTC
Just decline the request.
Liz MilneJuly 16,2022 at 11:50PM UTC
If you just ignore her request to connect, she won't be able to ask you again... I do that with friend requests from strangers on Facebook: I just don't respond...
AnonymousJuly 17,2022 at 6:48PM UTC
Just decline.
You owe her nothing. She only wants your contacts.
Valerie RiegerJuly 18,2022 at 3:52PM UTC
Don't connect with her if you don't want to.
AnonymousJuly 18,2022 at 4:40PM UTC
I haven't really explored this option, but isn't there a way to block someone on LinkedIn just as there is on other platforms?
AnonymousJuly 18,2022 at 4:41PM UTC
Spoiler alert, there is.
JYJJuly 18,2022 at 6:12PM UTC
Click on their profile. To the right of the blue "message" button, there is a white "more" button. There is a drop down menu and the last menu item is "report/block". Click on that and a pop up will ask you to confirm you want to block this person. Done.