Looking for advice on how to deal with a supervisor that does not retain information and repeats previous discussions due to multitasking.

20 Comments

1. PatriciaJune 1,2025 at 10:26AM UTC

   Document everything discussed, then send an email recapping what was discussed and the next steps. Highlight key takeaways and decisions. Ask them to confirm that this aligns with their understanding.

2. AnonymousJune 1,2025 at 3:45PM UTC

   Thank you. This is very helpful

3. AnonymousJune 1,2025 at 5:19PM UTC

   As others have said, you will have to start note-taking and/or setting up a debrief (at which you present the meeting minutes).

   Do this not because you are frustrated, but because you are keen, conscientious about your work, and want to take initiative, otherwise your boss is just gonna become sus. So be very careful how you tread.

   I would also set up a 'check point' for your boss to review your work halfway through task completion. You can call the meeting 'Touch base on assignment X'. The touchpoint's purpose is to ensure you have not misinterpreted their instructions and are meeting their expectations. At this touchpoint, pull up the notes you and your boss agreed to at the onset, and make sure you are crossing off each point. Additionally, ask for areas of improvement, and document any changes in scope, instructions, or expectations.

   Then of course, discuss your deliverable with your boss and get their agreement the task has met their definition of quality and completion, before you, yourself, have unilaterally decided you finished.

   This is gonna make sure you have all your bases covered to the best of your ability.

   If your boss asks you why this is all necessary, you can say you are trying a new method to be more organized and complete, and trying to do a better job to exceed client and manager expectations... Or even that you want to work toward getting promoted and this was advised to you, to document your tasks and accomplishments. I think this may be the best way to frame this type of activity in a positive way, instead of making your boss feel jilted. Goodluck!

4. AnonymousJune 2,2025 at 9:58AM UTC

   It's your responsibility to clarify in writing your understanding of instructions and direction. There should be clarity one way or another and since you're the one expressing frustration, I would make sure to document your understanding and make sure that understanding is writing. No one is getting set up to resign with a clear paper trail and in person communication. Not hard to do and it will reveal motivation and intent.

5. AnonymousJune 2,2025 at 10:53AM UTC

   Notes, followed up in emails, see if they learn and retain differently.

6. AnonymousJune 2,2025 at 12:27PM UTC

   Yep, managing up stinks. They’re probably just really busy. Still no excuse, but I agree with everyone here who says you have to sum up everything and get them to agree. I’m willing to bet that short outlines and easy to read quick blurbs are probably gonna be easier for them to read digest and OK.

7. AnonymousJune 2,2025 at 12:36PM UTC

   My hand is up -- I experience this a lot as a manager/supervisor. I am a one-woman department with a 'right hand' with whom I work closely but for company budgeting reasons, is not my 'direct report'. At any rate, I love my work but at times it's overwhelming with everything I have to keep in my head. So, on behalf of overwhelmed managers everywhere, I apologise to the writer -- but in this day and age, when demands are high and resources are less than limited, your patience and understanding are especially welcomed.

8. Beth Whight MoralesJune 2,2025 at 12:58PM UTC

   Cut your supervisor some slack. If you’ve ever been in those positions, you would know how easy it is to forget. You’re not giving any details that say if it’s excessive.

   For projects, write it down and refer back to your notes.

9. AnonymousJune 2,2025 at 1:16PM UTC

   Exactly this! My boss is a great person with wonderful intentions. But he is stretched thin, pulled in so many directions. It can be annoying that he won't remember a decision that was made or forgets a task. But I don't project negative attentions on him. I could not do his job. And so we record meetings, we take lots of notes, summarize deliverables and decisions in email. It helps keep everyone on track & remember what was discussed and agreed upon.

10. AnonymousJune 17,2025 at 1:54AM UTC

    Eh! Not the case. Supervisor is heavy on micromanagement and refuses to learn company policies/processes. Basically wants the title but not the worknthat goes along with it.

11. AnonymousJune 2,2025 at 1:07PM UTC

    Follow up your meetings and discussions with written minutes of what was agreed to and email them to your supervisor. Also, both of your theories have a negative slant to them, maybe it's something more benign like your supervisor is busy/overworked, or maybe they are getting conflicting direction from their higher ups and that's just filtering down the chain.

12. GirlBossanova934974June 2,2025 at 1:24PM UTC

    You need to retain the information. After every meeting, you put together a few bullet points on what was discussed. Then you add action items. You put dates on the action items and then email this to your manager. Every 2 weeks, you provide an update. Many managers these days were NOT set up for success. They don't have the training or education to do their jobs and they are just plain overwhelmed and lost.

13. AnonymousJune 2,2025 at 1:25PM UTC

    Though this can be very frustrating as it's happened to me, I've also managed and relied on my assistant to help me keep up with tasks. However, as a one person show, and higher ups that could never remember, it's helpful to have 1:1's bi-monthly, and in the meantime, when you meet, do a follow up email with your tasks and when they will be completed. Then at the next meeting you can discuss what you've completed. Meeting them with empathy as in I know you are swamped, I'd like to send a follow up email so that you know where I am with my tasks and if there's anything you need from me, please let me know. If you have never been in a role where you are pulled in a thousand directions, you may not understand. In addition, the person may have some health issues as in brain fog that is not helping. Be the helper, not the person that hurts. I deal with this on a daily basis and they appreciate my following up with them.

14. AnonymousJune 2,2025 at 1:34PM UTC

    I have worked for some bad supervisors before. I have never, however, encountered one who would intentionally jeopardize a department or project by sending out conflicting information or instructions to get someone to resign. I like the idea of a follow-up email that outlines your explicit understanding of the instructions from the meeting and requests a response. Others are right in that it could be she is receiving conflicting information or specifications from people above her. Or it could be a hundred other issues she is dealing with, from burnout to a medical problem. Speculation here will not solve your problem. Take the lead and initiate communication if necessary to ensure all instructions are clear.

    In the case of moving specifications, there isn't much you can do about that, except to stay flexible and anticipate that whatever you "set in stone" needs to be able to be easily dismantled and redone. You may want to schedule a one-on-one meeting with her to discuss the issue and ask if she needs any assistance, then let her take the lead.

15. AnonymousJune 2,2025 at 1:38PM UTC

    UGH! I worked for an owner of a company who did this and it is the worst! I thought I was going crazy because there were so many constant discrepancies, so I started documenting EVERYTHING via email; recapping instructions, conversations, meetings, updates, etc. and would get everything from him in writing. None of it made any difference. When confronted with emails, verifying instructions or conversations, he would become off the charts IRATE! I realized very quickly that I was not "crazy" and he was just a little man on a power trip who needed to degrade/belittle others to make himself feel good. He did it with everyone in the office and in my short time working for him (1 1/2 years) I watched 3 employees come and go. After each one left this horrid man would stalk them on social media, find out where they were working, would contact their new employers and make up horrible lies about them, trying to get them fired, and would laugh and laugh about the horrible emails he would send to their new employers "anonymously" as a "prior co-worker" (I know for a fact he did this because he had me read the emails, thinking he was funny and in "control"). I truly believe he had "little man syndrome" and tried to compensate by controlling, belittling and degrading others.

    Some people are not cut out to lead others and are horrible to work under. My advice would be to start looking for a new position elsewhere.

    Best of luck!

16. AnonymousJune 2,2025 at 3:10PM UTC

    Had this happen to me.

17. AnonymousJune 2,2025 at 3:21PM UTC

    Be diligent in documenting everything that comes from your interactions with this person to include dates and times. If you don't then it's always going to be your word against theirs.

18. Liz MilneJune 2,2025 at 3:32PM UTC

    I've got one of those :( It's so disheartening to have a good productive discussion, only for him to forget *everything* you've said five minutes later... He also refuses to use a diary, insisting he'll remember, even though we all tell him he won't... He then doesn't remember that he said he'd remember it! Muy, muy frustrating...

19. AnonymousJune 2,2025 at 5:55PM UTC

    Here's how to manage that manager. Follow up each meeting and 1-1 with an email synopsis of what was discussed and agreed upon. Save a copy in a word document in a file on your desktop. When you are given other instructions that don't align revert back to that original documentation and remind them of what was said before. Alternative option is keep a running spread sheet that shows changes and deadlines and deliverables. When things change or get added update that. Make sure you both can see who adds things and tick them off when completed. Add P levels - i.e. P0 is do it now, P1 is within a day etc.

    If this becomes unmanageable bring in either the skip level leader for guidance or someone from the HR side of things to align you both better. Don't toss them under the bus make it more about how you both can get things done more efficiently. If this is affecting the whole team remember you only need to advocate for you, have others do so for themselves.

20. AnonymousJune 2,2025 at 11:53PM UTC

    If the supervisor isn't retaining information, then you do everything you can do to help them. They need reminders, they need followup emails in bullet format (easier to digest).sticky notes on documents. Have a discussion and actually ask them what you can do to help lighten their load.