I was 45 minutes late to work on my first day.

Anonymous

July 26,2022 at 2:14AM UTC

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I was 45 minutes late to work on my first day. Should I just quit? Or is it salvageable?

I want to salvage this by making it to work the next day 45 minutes early just to have time to quell my anxiety. Since I know its no ones burden to bare but my own when it comes to dealing with it. Then a consistent 30 minutes early to show them all that I do respect them and the opportunity. Do you think that will be enough to turn the bad start around? Or should I just quit? Has anyone ever had a similar experience where they were late to work on their first day? How did it go from there? Were you able to turn it around?

So I guess this is a bit of a vent/ question for feedback. I feel alone in this experience and as if Ill never be able to get back on my feet when it comes to how I feel about work. I took a year off of work to recover from workplace bullying and the complex PTSD that I endured from it. So we're talking about resolving issues with assault, bullying, and the inability I had to stand up for myself due to an abusive childhood that conditioned me to believe that being abused in any capacity was alright. So I sorted all that out and while I did I continued to look for work for 6 months, which I did.

On my first day of work, I was 45 minutes late due to me not coordinating my time well with the time the public transportation would arrive. I don't have active phone service but I have been able to get internet services through the government ACP program which is what allowed me to do my virtual interviews to get this job. thank goodness. So I GPS how to get to work before I left home. My bus didn't arrive when it was supposed to but I was too scared to take any other route because it was my first time traveling to this destination so I was unfamiliar with it.

So not only was I late but I was also sweaty which transitioned into me smelling. Luckily, I brought baby wipes so I could freshen up in the bathroom and wash my underwear and dry it as I waited for my manager. I apologized to him sincerely for my lateness and batted away his attempt to try and make an excuse for me. Since I knew I could and should have done better.

The day was good, they took half a day showing me around the facilities and introducing me to people. I kept my mask on because when I get nervous I get dry mouth and that makes me get bad breath. People were pleasant and cordial and even helped me unlock the shower room so I could truly freshen up...Although they may have been doing that more for their benefit than my own haha!

Note: Please don't advise a therapist. i can't afford one and the ones I have found only wanted my money and didn't care about helping me.

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Robin LampertJuly 26,2022 at 2:35AM UTC
Don't quit based on one mistake.
And showing up 45 minutes early won't change things. However, it would be good to show up a little bit early for awhile and then continue to show up either early or on-time.
They will probably be more upset to have gone to all the trouble of hiring someone only to have them quit after one day. The first day is not usually very productive, and you say the rest of the day was good.
Return and do your best.
AnonymousJuly 26,2022 at 2:45AM UTC
I think allowing yourself the grace to put your 1st day behind you is what you need to do.
Your boss was understanding and your new coworkers supportive and welcoming so you lost no respect and no one suffered due to a first day glitch. And honestly that was all it was.
So deep breaths and forgiveness. Tomorrow is a brand new day.
Do your best and look to make a positive contribution to your new company.
Dawn S. CrossJuly 26,2022 at 4:36AM UTC
Please give yourself grace. Did someone say something? If so, did you explain simply that you mistimed public transportation and now that you know you will be better?
It happens, to the best. Forgive yourself and take every opportunity to learn from it going forward.
Barb HansenJuly 26,2022 at 5:23AM UTC
Don't quit.
Everyone has a bad day. Unfortunately, one of your bad days just happen to land on your first day at work. Tomorrow will be a better day.
Take a deep breath, and focus on what you need to do tonight. That's all you need to do. Tomorrow will be a better day.
Good luck and let us know how your second day goes!
Bobbie SmithJuly 26,2022 at 1:55PM UTC
Don't quit!! Sounds like you landed with a group of understanding and supportive co-workers...that's priceless. Do your best to be early/on-time moving forward and know that someday (well into the future) you'll have a great "most-embarrassing-moment story" to share.
Also, try to minimize the amount of apologizing that you do for this one mistake as you move forward. That will make it harder for you, and everyone else, to move on.
Best of luck to you!
Jennifer PayanJuly 26,2022 at 9:16PM UTC
My heart goes to you! I understand the struggles of being in financial trouble that it interferes with your job/job hunt. Don't quit and you don't need to be 45min. early on the second day, you've barely been introduced to the job, what will you do 45min early? And don't apologize so much as you may exacerbate any awkwardness!
Hope you have the best of luck on your 2nd day!
Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistJuly 27,2022 at 12:16AM UTC
I hope you didn't quit and I hope your second day went better!
AnonymousJuly 27,2022 at 10:23AM UTC
I was late my first day to a new job due to public transit. I stayed at the company 8 years, got to travel internationally, and built up my skill set. I left because I wanted to get my MBA. The first day doesn’t dictate the rest of your career. Anyone holding it against you is not someone you want in your corner anyway.
AnonymousJuly 27,2022 at 12:18PM UTC
I absolutely do not think quitting is necessary. It sounds like they were supportive and things happen. I've been late my first day at a job before because I got lost. I was an hour late for an interview (for a job I held 12 years) because I missed the exit. These things happen and as long as they did not chastise you for it, then move forward, stay strong, know your worth and show them you know your stuff. Good luck!
AnonymousJuly 27,2022 at 12:26PM UTC
Not sure what sort of position, but quitting after day one would be a nightmare for the people that just hired you. Apologize and move on, planning your commute better. If you are hourly then make up the time where you can, if they request you to.
Second, yes, you may want to consider therapy. Sounds like you have a lot going on. Yes, there are affordable options. Consider calling your local United Way to point you in the direction of affordable resources. Your new employer may have an employee assistance program that would provide you with a few free sessions.
Brenda CrawshawJuly 27,2022 at 12:32PM UTC
First, take a breath - you are the only one worrying about this and they seem fine with the situation. As upsetting as this is, you're good!
Second, I don't think you have to worry about "making anything up" - if they didn't ask, let it go.
That said, setting up your schedule and commute such that you arrive with a cushion every day isn't a bad idea at all! It shows that you were surprised on the first day, adapted your schedule and are now in a good groove. They will appreciate your planning skills, your flexibility and your commitment to your hours.
Also, having a nice 15-20 minute buffer before the day starts is SO helpful. You can get your coffee, settle in, maybe do a teeny bit of Good Morning socializing, and get your head into a good space before the day kicks off.
Stop beating yourself up, breathe, know that they value you and lean in to being appreciated!
AnonymousJuly 27,2022 at 12:33PM UTC
These things happen. Your timing could have been better but I think anyone would recognise that if it were to go wrong, the first week is when it would happen. As you say, be consistent going forward and if it even gets raised you can just point to your improved cadence and explain it was newbie confusion and you have moved beyond it.
Cindy LaceyJuly 27,2022 at 1:22PM UTC
Anyone who has ever taken public transportation knows that things go wrong. I might advise researching alternate routes in case this happens again. Just to be prepared. Beyond that, take your cues from the people you work with. If they are not concerned, you don't need to be. I am sure they could see you were upset about it and that would indicate that you have a good work ethic. Good luck in the future.
Mhairi DunnJuly 27,2022 at 1:37PM UTC
My dad always says, things with bumpy starts always turn out the best. I’m not sure if he’s right, but I was hours late for my first day at the company I’ve been at more than 5 years and have had promotion after promotion at. In fact, I was so late I actually called and didn’t go (did some reading at home, traffic was so bad it just wouldn’t have been worth it). I felt dreadful about it.
Apologize - (god knows if you are in the UK just blame the trains), work hard and don’t let this knock your confidence. As a manager - I can assure you, your hiring manager doesn’t want you to fail and should have your back too. Good luck and go ace that new job!!!
Melissa NobileJuly 27,2022 at 1:37PM UTC
All you can do is look and move forward. Focus on the positives. Be on time from now on and you’ll be just fine!
Dawn KlockowJuly 27,2022 at 1:56PM UTC
It sounds like your employer was understanding since you didn’t post anything about a reprimand or warning about being late. I’d stay on, learn the job and show them that hiring you was the right decision. Mistakes happen.
Lisa CarlucciJuly 27,2022 at 2:08PM UTC
Please return to the job and let us know how you are doing now. Good luck! You can do this.
AnonymousJuly 27,2022 at 2:34PM UTC
Aww! It's understandable. Hope it has gotten better :)
Claudia GonzalezJuly 27,2022 at 3:02PM UTC
At my first job ever, on my first day - I ended up getting extremely sick halfway through my shift, had to leave early, and had to call-in the next day (the second day on the job).
I felt TERRIBLE about this and worried I left a horrible impression. In the end, no one really cared and it was not a big deal at all. I was able to move forward and continue happily working there without any further issues.
Sounds like your manager and colleagues were supportive and understanding of your situation! I know it's scary and stressful, but I think just showing that this was a one-time freak accident and that you're eager to make sure it's not a habit will take you a long way! Congratulations on your new job and on your first day and I hope this job continues taking care of you and showing you compassion!
AnonymousJuly 27,2022 at 3:10PM UTC
There is no need to quit -you can't help whether the public transportation is on time or not (I'm speaking as someone who lives in a place where the public transport is NEVER on time).
Once you learn the route, you'll know what options you have to minimize lateness in the future. My other suggestion would be: now that you're getting a steady paycheck, see if you can get an inexpensive phone service so that you'll be able to call and let someone know if it happens again. And look into your benefits: many companies will pay for your cell phone bill!
AnonymousJuly 27,2022 at 3:56PM UTC
I dont see any reason to quit. The boss seems to have been genuinely understanding , your human circumstances are not always within your control, let it go now and take a deep breathe and start over in your own mind , it will only get better from here.
I am sorry counseling has not proven to effective however there are self help things you can try for anxiety from Persoanl experience I find meditation and walks to be very helpful , also from personal experience I believe the power of positive thinking can be a great help as dr Wayne Dyer once said “ when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change “ I was able to turn my life around with a lot of work and positive thinking you are worthy of this job and they lucky to have you ! You are awesome !!
Barb BaldingJuly 27,2022 at 4:14PM UTC
It happens and any decent workplace would understand that - don't quit due to embarrasment - very soon it will be forgotten and you will have the oportunity to shince like the diamond you are!!!
Liz MilneJuly 27,2022 at 5:29PM UTC
Don't overthink it: you didn't know about how long your journey would take on one day - that is a fair and reasonable excuse.
Be early for work going forward and all will be well.
I'm waaay more disconcerted about why you 'batted away' the manager's forgiveness, for one, and - I'm sorry if this is insensitive but washing your underwear??? How sweaty did you get??? o_O
AnonymousJuly 28,2022 at 1:13AM UTC
Extremely sweaty. I live in Massachuessetts and during the week of that day the average weather was 93 and sunny. So imagine power walking, anxious which activates ones hyperhidrosis while wearing work clothes that consist of unbreathable fabrics like polyester mixes. Trying to get to your job on time that you know you will be inevitably late to? Thats how sweaty I got?
Thank you for your kind words and reading my post. I appreciate it! and realize that Im harder on myself than anyone else because Ive always felt people expected nothing from me in a bad way unfortunately.
AnonymousJuly 28,2022 at 5:07PM UTC
Awww. I've been there... waiting anxiously in the August heat/humidity at Park St station for the next train. It happens. Just explain and move on. Everyone has their commute nightmares. It happens.
Liz MilneJuly 29,2022 at 11:59PM UTC
Ahhh, yes that makes sense!
Aw, bless you that's hard - but hopefully you will relax into your new job and be able to chuckle about this all in a few months!
Here's to changing people's expectations and you being kinder to yourself too! xxx
TeenieJuly 27,2022 at 6:48PM UTC
Do you get a work or small closet or locker ? If yes, store a spare set of clothes there. Maybe you are uncomfortable if you feel you aren't your best...
I used to store my office pretty shoes in a bag while I navigated transport rain snow etc in my regular shoes.
Id just make a list of what you want to achieve at work everyday and every week. focusing on that may help you be less stressed and upset. Pls remember this list should match up with what your job requirements are,,, dont make them too lofty, too complicated or too much ! the idea is to feel positive and achieve.. not feel bad about not meeting goals that are tough to achieve.
congratulations on your job ,
AnonymousJuly 27,2022 at 9:42PM UTC
No don't quit. Everyone has a 1st day woopsydoodle story so just leave it at that, in the past. Just breathe (yes focus on breathing techniques and just take it a day at a time. Since you still have anxiety moments, try to factor in some form of exercise daily i.e. walking before walk and or during your break to burn off that excess energy.
For PTSD, if you cant seek therapy, please reach out to 1-2 love ones you can talk to regularly to unpack those emotions. As they continue to fester it will continue to have an adverse affect on your life, which you don't want. Focus on self love and acceptance.
One really good technique as a onfidence booster, get 2 journals, 1 to journal and unpack all emotions good and bad so when you have a moment to reflect you can look back and try to find peace, resolution and heal from those horrors. The other journal, come up with positive 50 affirmations and read them when you first wake up. Before you officially start work and before you go to bed.
It will help re-program your mind from a state of habitual worry to habitual confidence. You can do it. Love yourself, and focus on self healing each day. and surround yourself with positive people that will support you in your healing journey. Good Luck!
Kristina MartinJuly 28,2022 at 12:50PM UTC
Don’t quit.
I suggest you speak to your boss about the tardiness if they mention it. Be honest, offer to make the time up if it is an issue.
I was embarrassing late to work on my first day. I started off and planned to be early. I did not count on a train stopping on the tracks holding us up.
I was embarrassed and showed by my actions it was just a blip.
Please do not quit. We all run into things outside of our control.
Since that first day I’m normally a little early for work.
There are times I’m stuck in traffic because of an accident or bad weather. I made arrangements with my boss that I would call or text him if I was running late.
I’ve also had bosses who are habitually late. They are late about the same time every day. I have wondered why can’t they just leave a little early. The point is we are just humans trying to be the best we can be.
Sabrina CortesJuly 28,2022 at 6:12PM UTC
Hi there!
First, congrats for doing the work to deal with your PSTD!! That's hard, and you're awesome for not only seeing that you needed help but for actually DOING the inner work on yourself.
I had a very abusive childhood, too (and adulthood), and the trauma we had to deal with during those years changed us at the core. (I'm currently reading The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk, MD, and it's been helpful. You might want to look into it). :))
Second, arriving late to work was beyond your control, and I think you should give yourself some grace. It's clear that you learned from this mistake, and now, you have a routine and route that you're familiar with. So, be kind to yourself because deep inside is a child who needs your love and support even if you don't realize it.
So now, the best thing you can do is forget about your mistake and keep moving forward in your new job! Learn all you can during this transition and show them that they hired the right person because of the skills you're bringing to the company. :))
Sending you positive vibes and a hug! You got this!!
GirlBossanova934974July 29,2022 at 6:33PM UTC
Way way way too much worry here. Most people don't remember anyone about your first day. A busy manager has a million things to worry about. So and so made it in on her first day? Yep! Check the box. She has to meet with so and so on day 2, such and such on day 3, etc etc. Check check check! Oops sorry my SLACK just hit or my phone rang. I have to take this call says the Manager. We'll talk on Friday, ok? Where is that file I had to send to Accounting? Oh my heavens. Another busy day. Note to self: Dont forget to sit and chat with new hire next Monday...Gotta remember.
Nadine BonnerAugust 2,2022 at 12:43PM UTC
I was 30 minutes late for my job interview, and they hired me anyway!
Things happen unless you live within walking distance of your job. Most employers understand this. Move on and show what a good employee you are
Angie MartinAugust 2,2022 at 1:03PM UTC
Don't quit! Do schedule a talk with your manager and emphasize that you are committed to being on time ready to work during your scheduled hours.
Explain the issue and how you're going to correct it. Any sane person is going to accept this as a good step going forward.
AnonymousAugust 2,2022 at 2:29PM UTC
Public transportation can be difficult. Get a backpack, pack some extra clothes and toiletries to freshen up on the days that it is too hot on the bus. Also, keep some extra items at work as well. If they didn't turn you away after showing up that late then I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just make an extra effort going forward to not make it a habit.
na1102August 2,2022 at 2:52PM UTC
absolutely don't quit. you spoke with your supervisor and explained the situation. let it go. just be sure to be on time (or earlier) for work. get the earlier bus/train and check on other routes so you have that information readily available in case you need it. I would also try it on the way home so you are familiar with that other route. I think you'll be fine. Good luck with the job.
AnonymousAugust 3,2022 at 10:40AM UTC
Wow, you have a shower in your workplace? Do you work in a school gym?
AnonymousAugust 3,2022 at 8:17PM UTC
I work for a university so I get to use the amenities afforded to the students I will now support.
CarolAugust 3,2022 at 10:01PM UTC
First and foremost try and relax , take a deep breath and everything will be ok. I’m sure many people have been late on the first day, and it sounds like it wasn’t your fault. I’m sure this has been a learning experience and now you go on from here, you got this !!!!!!!
believe in yourself!!!!!!!
Franziska PetermannAugust 4,2022 at 9:58PM UTC
First, take a deep breath and relax. I know it feels like you didn't have the best start with your new employer. Which is never how anyone wants to start out. But things happen. I would advise to be apologize and explain what led to you being late and not being able to communicate from the road. And then just let your manager know what steps you have taken to ensure that you will be on time in the future. Since you are relying on public transportation, discuss with your manager how to address any potential future delays that may happen and that would always be out of your control.
And now just go and do an amazing job and show your employer that they were right to hire you. They saw something in you that they wanted and that is a good fit for the role. Don't let yourself be held back by those 45 minutes.