My new manager is avoiding me

Anonymous

June 7,2023 at 10:54AM UTC

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My new manager is avoiding me

Last week it was announced that my team is going to have a new manager. The new manager had her 1-to-1s with everyone in the team except of me to discuss how their roles are going to change and just check how they feel about the change and what are their ambitions for the future. I am one of the most experienced people in the team and I have a good reputation within the business. My previous manager asked me how I feel after my 1-to-1 with the new one and I told him I haven't had one so he asked my new manager and my new manager said she has not scheduled anything because I seem to be busy for the next 1 month, which is not true - I have some meetings but I have free slots in my calendar, too and I checked there are plenty of free slots that match with her free slots, so in my opinion this is an excuse. I tried to reach out to her to ask for a 1-to-1 meeting but she did not respond to me at all. As the team is transforming I would like to discuss with her how I see my role and how can I help in this transformation being one of the most experienced people but I wonder if she is not interested or she is just planning to get rid of me (but if that is the case I can't think what might be the reason).

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AnonymousJune 7,2023 at 11:32AM UTC
I guess quitting is an option. If you feel like you're not treated well, then your expertise might be needed elsewhere.
AnonymousJune 7,2023 at 1:27PM UTC
Quit a job because you’re struggling to get a meeting on the books?! This is an absurd and reckless suggestion. Get real!
AnonymousJune 7,2023 at 12:06PM UTC
This is so strange. I would take the bull by the horns and schedule something immediately according to calendar availability for both of you.
If she decides to ignore the invite or declines, send another and another.
If those attempts fail, go to HR.
Afo Ogbeyalu KaluJune 7,2023 at 12:38PM UTC
Draft an email expressing your concern that you seem to be the only member of the team that has not been scheduled for a one-to-one, and your eagerness to have clarity regarding your role, responsibilities, and areas for department growth moving forward. Identify the slots which you both have open as ideal times to schedule the meeting. Copy the new Manager's direct report/Director.
BethBJune 7,2023 at 12:45PM UTC
Perhaps she missed your call or deleted the email by accident. Try again. Let her know you are looking forward to working with her. If you see a mutually available slot, suggest it yourself. If you don’t see one, let her know of any time slots she has empty and you don’t that you can rearrange.
Paula Manczuk-HannayJune 7,2023 at 12:46PM UTC
Before assigning motive, I suggest you find a spot that works on both your calendars, schedule the one on one, and let her know you found a time that works and that you look forward to meeting with her. See how that goes.
AnonymousJune 7,2023 at 1:11PM UTC
I don't think pre-emptively scheduling a meeting is a good idea, but reaching out with some proposed times shows good will. I would add that if there are items in OP's calendar that can be canceled or rescheduled, pointing out those times would also help the new manager come up with a good meeting time.
Paula Manczuk-HannayJune 7,2023 at 6:53PM UTC
Help me understand why you think it’s a bad idea.
Rebecca MillikenJune 8,2023 at 1:20PM UTC
Maybe they think it's a bad idea because it might come across as presumptuous to a new manager? I guess that would depend on the people involved and the workplace environment.
Paula Manczuk-HannayJune 8,2023 at 6:22PM UTC
I can see that. I always advocate for the more direct approach and I often forget that is outside the comfort zone of many.
Shelly EdwardsJune 7,2023 at 1:16PM UTC
I agree. Before you assume, set a time with your manager to talk. Yes, it’s poor form that she hasn’t taken the initiative but that doesn’t mean you can’t be the one to do it. Sit down with her and talk about her plans for the team and where she sees you fitting in it for the greatest success. This is also a good time to go over your skill set and communication needs so she has a clear idea of where you stand. If she won’t come to you, go to her and set the tone.
Maureen MulveyJune 7,2023 at 1:19PM UTC
Maybe she sees you as a top performer and wants to see you handle the events you have scheduled first to give you better feedback. You may not have given her much room for her to set goals for you if she is happy with your performance. Keep positive and don’t force yourself on her.
AnonymousJune 7,2023 at 1:38PM UTC
It is very poor form on her part.
There is no valid excuse given she was already approached about it. I'm not buying the "give her time" thing because she has been made aware. I view her behavior as unprofessional and threatening.
Sarah StadtherrJune 7,2023 at 1:51PM UTC
What would stop you from finding a matching free time and just showing up in her office/cubicle with your notes in hand? It'd be pretty hard to shut you down face to face. If she does, ignore it, walk in - close the door and tell her that you feel you are being treated unfairly and ask to set an appointment on the calendar so little more time can pass. Perhaps have the original manager a part of the meeting too?
AnonymousJune 8,2023 at 11:57AM UTC
As someone suggested I would pop by when her calendar is open and ask to chat. If that doesn't work, schedule a meeting with her, if she declines it, then I think you have some clear indication of her intent. If she accepts or questions why you're scheduling instead of her, tell her what you said here, to discuss your role in the department. I'd start there and try to be as open as possible and not come with any assumptions. Good luck!
Melissa NobileJune 8,2023 at 12:08PM UTC
She is obviously intimidated by you and your experience. Make an appointment yourself.
Sue Gordon- retired Career CoachJune 8,2023 at 1:15PM UTC
You do need to get on her calendar and talk. Your mind is filling in the blanks with assumptions—totally normal. Either send a calendar invite or pop in, but find a way and ask what role she sees for you moving forward. Good luck.
AnonymousJune 8,2023 at 2:10PM UTC
If she is not meeting with you and avoiding you then that might spell trouble. I would keep my eyes out for another position within or outside of the company. She may not be meeting with you because your job may be going away. I would try to do everything in my power to set up the meeting despite her not doing so. You need clarity asap.
QJune 8,2023 at 4:27PM UTC
Put something on her calendar where you both have free time. You can even call out that you know you may seem busy, but you'd really value a chance to meet with her and see it as a priority. The ball will then be in her court. How she responds determines if you need to worry.
AnonymousJune 8,2023 at 8:14PM UTC
Send an invite, if the company is large enough speak to your HRBP and let them know that you want to understand what the expectations are for the new manager for their needs. Make sure you send a bcc copy to your personal email of anything you send out. If you think there is a possibility that you could be let go, then you could if comfortable address it directly by asking if you are at risk when the team shifts. Either way if I were you I would be looking around, You never know the new manager might be thinking of bringing in their own lieutenant into the team instead of you. Protect yourself.
AnonymousJune 9,2023 at 7:40PM UTC
Sounds like the manager does not plan to work with you