Getting pushed out.

12 Comments

1. AnonymousDecember 11,2022 at 12:37AM UTC

   I went through this.
   It depends on who is trying to push you out and why. The person who pushed me out was my supervisor. She knew I was good at her job and could easily hop over her on the org chart. She was incompetent and landed the job through connections. About a year in, she started micromanaging me, spreading rumors, excluding me from meetings and staff trips and events. Managers who had hired me ended up turning against me. At one point she outright lied and said I was abusing leave. When I went to management they just repeated her lies.

   I ended up consulting with a lawyer who said my best bet was to get out of there because HR will chalk it up to personality differences (especially between two women surrounded by male leadership). I was able to give her a hard time for a while though for cutting resources but eventually just got out of there. HR did nothing too, when I complained about the lying related to leave. They actually tried to get me to comply with her requests and see her side. Looking back, I think someone owed her something or, more likely, they were afraid of what she knew (embezzlement, fraud)?

   I eventually took a transfer then found a new job that was a million times better. She replaced me with a dud who did not do half as good a job as I did and not surprisingly, she promoted him very quickly.

2. AnonymousDecember 11,2022 at 12:47AM UTC

   Oh and yes, definitely document.
   Chances are you're going to need to defend yourself because they could be going for constructive discharge. If it looks like you are going to need to defend yourself, do it. You'll feel much better about the situation and know you did not let them bully you. They're going to do all they can to defend themselves, too. They're expecting that you'll just up and quit without benefits, which is what they'd probably like to see.

   I knew my bully had a huge issue with me when she mentioned during a review that I could move into a whole new line of work at the organization which made absolutely no sense. I was doing so well in our section. I was an expert at the work. Why oh why would I move into something I had absolutely no training or interest in, not even a single course in. Plain and simple, she wanted me out of her way.

3. AnonymousDecember 11,2022 at 2:32PM UTC

   Are you definitely getting pushed out though? A colleague of mine is convinced I have it in for her and is making my life difficult at work. I haven’t. I value her but she doesn’t see it. I’m at the point of stopping trying and almost at the stage of either her or me leaving. She’s a nightmare. Not suggesting for one minute you are a nightmare, I’m just using this safe space to vent. I hope you are ok. And you are not getting pushed out.

4. AnonymousDecember 11,2022 at 3:34PM UTC

   A lot of it depends on who is doing the pushing. Where I worked before, we hired and trained an intern after her internship was over. This person became personal friends with our manager and her adult daughter (she was even asked to be a bridesmaid at her wedding). She started running to the manager whenever she overheard something I said to a client, which was followed up with me being given the third degree by the manager and having to justify the entire conversation and decisions. She was jealous of me and tried to push me out or get me fired. She was later fired for stealing from one of our clients (caught red-handed). If your mental health allows it, it sometimes helps to let Karma intervene.

5. AnonymousDecember 12,2022 at 11:42AM UTC

   It sounds like there is no longer a place for you.

   Teams grow and shift and the dynamics change and need out grow to meet these changes. 10 years is a very ongoing time to work somewhere.

   I've never stayed at a company that long for this very reason. I grow and my needs change.

6. misskelleypDecember 13,2022 at 10:39PM UTC

   That happened to me once, four women in the office, the other three were "buddies" and I was the odd woman out. They started ostracizing me, then I wasn't included in work meetings that I needed to be in, the writing was on the wall and I found a new job, luckily quite quickly.

7. AnonymousDecember 16,2022 at 1:26PM UTC

   That happened to me, as well. My supervisor was basically forcing me to do it to some of my staff she didn't like, and then or simultaneously with me. I'm loyal to a fault and, looking back, I should have kept in mind my own sanity - and the company's loyalty to me after several years.

   Look for another job.

8. Terri SmithDecember 16,2022 at 1:37PM UTC

   How wise of you to realize what is happening and begin looking for another job. Take your time, but put your energy toward finding the next great opportunity for you. Don't waste energy on fixing your current situation. Some work environments simply get toxic and they can cause mental health issues for you if you let them. I didn't move fast enough and it ended up being quite costly to me personally and took a few years to regain my confidence.

9. AnonymousDecember 16,2022 at 1:40PM UTC

   The best thing to do is look for another job. It’s definitely a good idea to document, which it sounds like you’re doing. You might consider consulting with a lawyer on your options, but in my experience, there is rarely legal recourse for this type of thing. Best case scenario, you might be able to use your documentation to negotiate a better severance if you get laid off. But I recommend aggressively looking for a new job.

10. AnonymousDecember 16,2022 at 3:18PM UTC

    I went through this, where I knew my job would be phased out at some point. My manger and another executive both assured me and said “they would let me know about any changes”. Sure enough, after “1 year of having this hunch, I was given a two week notice with a severance package.

    The problem, I was looking for another job during that year, but not searching and applying aggressively. It took me 6 months to be hired, because my skills were not that marketable “outside of my company.”

    my advise, start aggressively looking for another job, if you need to improve your skills, look for inexpensive courses a good source is udemy.com. Good luck and start looking for a job! Listen to your gut feeling!!!

11. Kristine RyanDecember 17,2022 at 12:54PM UTC

    Lots of good stuff in LinkedIn Learning too!

12. tiffany birchDecember 16,2022 at 8:15PM UTC

    It sounds like you are using a common sense approach to taking care of yourself. I agree with others you can use the documentation you have to negotiate a better income and benefits package. Trust your "nudge," and breathe. Much success to you.