I started a new position in November 2023. I was told I would have support and resources and I’ve come to learn that the information I was told when I was hired was not actually in-place.

9 Comments

1. AnonymousJune 19,2024 at 11:35AM UTC

   Since the environment and workload is not going to change, all you can control is you.

   That means you should start shopping for a new job. In the meantime, take care of yourself. That means switch up your balance to be heavily weighted with selfcare, friends,family, personal interests and peace. Your life is only what you make it. Less time working and more time enjoying your life. It's difficult and takes effort but you can save yourself much of the weight and exhaustion by shifting your focus and priorities. That would be my advice. Spend your limited resources where you get the biggest payoff. You can't control your toxic job.

2. AnonymousJune 19,2024 at 12:45PM UTC

   Document the issues and communicate to HR. You never know, you might have a case later down the road. I learned that HR has to be aware before you quit and if they don’t take action, you definitely have a case. Also, they cannot retaliate if you make them aware, because again, you would definitely have a case. Keep your head up!

3. AnonymousJune 19,2024 at 12:58PM UTC

   Sounds like my last job - put in a project I told them

   i I wasn’t a fit for because my personality was better to deal with a difficult client. After weeks

   of stress and not knowing what I was doing, I reminded them

   that I was not the person they needed and quit. It just isn’t worth the stress and disappointment. Best of luck

4. Sarah Cleveland, SPHR, ACCJune 19,2024 at 1:10PM UTC

   I’d start looking for a new job - discreetly. While you are in this role, ensure you have regular 1:1s with your manager and document (email a list of your priorities as follow-up after each 1:1 to keep everything in writing). Ask your manager their thoughts on how best to prioritize the work. Do your best to keep the lines of communication open and request training support / look for professional development opportunities (usually most positions will have a professional development budget tied to it, get a certification or attend a training / conference to network etc while you are there). Find a mentor at the company - don’t vent to them - however it would be good to establish connections that are peers to your manager so they can vouch for you. And start having coffee chats (virtual chats are also good) with others in the company - merely as a way to build your network and get to know others. Do NOT use that time to vent about your situation- use it to build relationships and have others get to know you and your skillset and goals. Perhaps you can transfer internally if you find another role or team that you prefer.

   While this is challenging, you will get through this and you will learn lessons that you’ll carry with you throughout your career.

5. AnonymousJune 19,2024 at 1:55PM UTC

   Don't let people walk on you even clients. You can speak assertively and factually and without emotions. People do what they want because they can until they cannot. So be the one to draw the line so they cant!

   Set expectations and push out deadlines. If client doesn't to XYZ with their deliverables by X date so you can do your work in a timely manner than their project date will be pushed

6. Vikki Mueller EspinosaJune 19,2024 at 4:40PM UTC

   Take your experience and update your resume. Get a new job. Leave. Your mental health is more valuable than trying to fix a bad environment and put up with bad behavior. Get others to help you. You’re in job jail. No one breaks out of jail alone. Old managers, co-workers and customers should be your first phone calls. Don’t complain. Simply say you need a new opportunity.

7. Stephanie Branch LekowskiJune 21,2024 at 12:34PM UTC

   You're going to have to start job hunting. The place will wear you down. When an employer enables toxic managers, it doesn't get better. Wish you the best of luck because you definitely will (and do) need it!

8. Cynthia TrivellaJune 21,2024 at 1:41PM UTC

   This is an all too common occurrence in the workplace. I will never understand how companies turn a blind eye to people who have no right to bring bad behaviors into the workplace that they unleash on others.

   I see it as you having three options.

   1) Confront the abusive portfolio manager and do it in the presence of someone in HR. ( I recommend having an HR person present so you have a witness and CYA. ) Calmly explain the situation and don’t hesitate to discuss how his toxic behaviors are forcing you to manage him and this is not part of the job for which you were hired. Have days/times and incidents documented so your grievances cannot be refuted.

   2) Put a discreet exit strategy into place and begin movement forward to finding the next opportunity.

   3) Start to put everything into documented conversation streams and begin collecting incidences of his egregious behaviors that can be shared with legal representation. Be sure to bcc: your personal email on everything.

   I wish you all the best.

9. AnonymousJune 23,2024 at 5:54PM UTC

   2 pieces of advice, one - let leadership know that unless you get the support that you were promised when hired and not have to tolerate abuse from this other co-worker you will be looking for a new job. Let them know that until you find one you will continue to work professionally for them but they should look to replace you as soon as possible.

   Number 2- quietly quit or look for a new role.

   You need to be sure that when you interview in new places you find out about why the role is open, was the last person a success, or failure, who do they interact with internally and check for turnover specifically in that dept.

   Good luck.