Hi everyone,

30 Comments

1. Dalia LourençoMarch 21,2025 at 10:24AM UTC

   I’m so sorry you’ve been through this — that sounds incredibly draining. ?

   First, this is NOT your fault. If you’ve experienced this in multiple jobs, it’s likely about toxic environments, not you. You’re clearly resilient — working 10+ years in social work is no small feat.

   Here’s what I’d suggest:

   Document everything — emails, conversations, incidents — in case you need to escalate or protect yourself.

   Get strategic about your next move — Focus on companies known for supportive cultures (check Glassdoor reviews, ask about leadership in interviews).

   On your side business — you have two options. You can ease up on it for now (It might grow naturally once you’re out of survival mode. OR if this could be your ticket out of toxicity, have an expert review your positioning to really understand why it isn't working. This saves so much time and could help boost your confidence to have another income stream so you don't depend on the job.

   Rebuild your confidence — Therapy or coaching can help you process this and get your spark back.

   Toxic workplaces can cause severe mental and physical damage (I've seen it first hand.) So take very good care of yourself and hope you can get out of there asap! You deserve to have a comfortable, safe environment to work in.

2. AnonymousMarch 22,2025 at 12:58AM UTC

   Thank you for this, I am the one who posted. I have been working on tweaking my business and scaling it up. And I am also in therapy to address the trauma. It's just tough because you go to school pay for a bachelors and masters work so many years and it people will still try to discredit you. Thank you for your words.

3. AnonymousMarch 21,2025 at 4:22PM UTC

   Karma resolved my most recent bullying experience. She ended up getting fired because she was stealing. She was allowed to pay restitution or face charges.

4. AnonymousMarch 22,2025 at 12:56AM UTC

   Wow, I am the person who posted. The only time I can recall some type of karma against a workplace bully was when. He targeted me for and then ended up being removed from the org on the my last day of work as I resigned.

5. AnonymousMarch 22,2025 at 9:13AM UTC

   It seems the most constant and common denominator is you over the course of 11 years so I would step back and figure out what you can control and change. Yes bullying happens but I don't see it as wide spread as folks complain about. Its more popular. So to have it consistently happen over more than a decade is probably attributed to other things.

   So I would search inside and figure out what you are responsible for. I'm not trying to be harsh but at some point you need to soul search to improve your life or the same things will keep happening. You want to have an amazing life full of joy.

6. AnonymousMarch 23,2025 at 6:57PM UTC

   I am the person who wrote the post. Thank you for your input.

7. Kristina WagnerMarch 22,2025 at 12:15PM UTC

   Yes. And he gaslights constantly. Perhaps only to me. But I had to go

8. AnonymousMarch 22,2025 at 1:18PM UTC

   Welcome to my world. I thought I was the only one. Also in the field of Social Work. I had a career of bullying. From one job, to another one. Finally, I was terminated from the last job after being put on a ridiculous PIP, set up to fail.

   I left the field entirely. And have a private sector job, less money, but no stress at work. The Social Work field seems to be rampant with bullying.

9. AnonymousMarch 22,2025 at 7:39PM UTC

   Hi, I am the person who posted. I actually considered leaving the field myself as I find it to be hypocritical to have managers and supervisors who are actively abusive and biased in orgs where the mission is to hep others in need. But... I love the work. I have been seeking entry into state government jobs as they are at least unionized. None of my jobs have been so far. Thank you for your input, as someone who has also worked in the social work field.

10. Changemaker828603March 29,2025 at 5:09PM UTC

    Don't think a union helps, they don't. The job I had the PIP was federal. And it was ridiculous. They watched my hours, made sure I did not come in early or leave late. The PIP was set up to fail. They knew I would have been successful if I had been allowed the time to complete the work.

11. AnonymousApril 12,2025 at 4:17PM UTC

    Hi I am the one who posted. Wow- I and I was thinking because of what I had read about unionized roles there would more fairness.

12. Tahirah WineglassMarch 23,2025 at 6:58PM UTC

    This is the 2nd consecutive time that i have gone through the same thing & I am in corrections. Eventually i will leave the job....one that I love.

13. GirlBossanova934974March 23,2025 at 1:33PM UTC

    I would be very careful in labeling any negative behaviors as bullying, toxic, nasty, and aggressive. That has become all too commonplace in today's working world. So how many companies have you worked for in 11 years? 3 or more? I am a little concerned when you say "I am not a perfect worker, but I am a hard worker and I do my best. "

    What does that mean? Does that mean you have made mistakes at work and you have NOT liked the way your supervisors have addressed your mistakes? I am a business owner myself. I have 1-2 employees who will tell you that they work hard but I don't see it in terms of how much revenue they bring to my company. Some managers are not trained in how to handle negative feedback to workers.

14. AnonymousMarch 23,2025 at 6:56PM UTC

    Hi, I am the one who wrote the post. I can an example of what I mean by aggressive. My current manager has invited me to calls at the last minute, literally after they have started. Then I jump on the call. Instead of giving me time to set up notes-scream at me to hurry up and take notes and then act like she sent the invite before, when it literally shows that she sent it after the call began. When I say I am not the perfect worker, but do my best I can give an example. I given certain action items by my current manager when I started employment and told that she would not assist or even tell what platform I should use to execute the tasks. She also told me that I was not permitted to ask anyone else in the org for assistance either. When the work didn't come out the way she wanted-she blamed me. In contrast when new staff joined, she instructed me to provide step by step instructions and hands on training for them, which she withheld from me. When they produce unsatisfactory results, she publicly praises them for doing their best.

15. Angelyn Booth MooreMarch 23,2025 at 3:20PM UTC

    Bullying-jealousy-fear of your strengths versus their insecurities. Any good old lifetime friends at new job-covering each other. Bullying can be considered in ways wherein others have sued companies. Have seen male versus female - and vice versa playful (NOT) comments akin to bullying at majority of U S companies. Who you know-relatives of? Repeat

16. Mesha HamptonMarch 23,2025 at 5:27PM UTC

    Hi there. I noticed that you say that you are hardworking and do your best. Honestly that’s not necessarily enough. Are you focusing on the right things? Is what you are working on useful? Here’s an example: I used to have a coworker who would get bogged down by the strangest things, things that either ultimately meant nothing or things that should have been handed over to other people are departments. So yes, she was working hard but a lot of what she was working on was a waste of her time. If you find yourself in that position, look at what things you are responsive and make sure you are prioritizing them appropriately.

17. AnonymousMarch 23,2025 at 6:45PM UTC

    Hi, I am the one who sent the post. Thank you for your input, as it allows me to reflect. Yes, I do work on things that are useful. In my current job though my manager will find ways to minimize my efforts or change her instructions all together-at the last minute. She will in fact not review my work and then tell other staff members to fix whatever I have done and specify items that I already included. She literally told me that other people did in the org did not think I would be a good fit the second week of my employment. It seems like she has been working to prove that as true. She even went as far as to manipulate my review by not including major accomplishments such as key partnerships with external orgs which resulted in donations for the org. Then included minor infractions which were after the review time frame-such as certain emails that were not "worded how she wanted", which was outside of the review time. I have literally asked previous managers to tell me what I am doing wrong and what they want me to correct-they have all pretty much said that can't think of anything but then use deficit based language to describe my performance. This is the reason I started my own small business. But I do thank you for giving me something to reflect on.

18. AnonymousMarch 24,2025 at 2:24PM UTC

    Do NOT ignore the chest pains. They can be early signs of developing cardiac issues, issues that can be caused entirely by stress. I spent years ignoring them, writing them off, telling myself they'll be better when I'm less stressed. What I didn't know is the damage all that stress was doing. I'm just 50 years old and now am stuck on 4 different medications to try to manage the problems now. Get it checked out and do not let the Drs write it off as just stress.

19. AnonymousMarch 24,2025 at 9:40PM UTC

    I am the person who wrote the post. I want to thank you for your input. I will be going to the doctor as I have been havign the chest pains.

20. AnonymousApril 12,2025 at 4:15PM UTC

    Hi again, I am the one who posted and I want to thank you for your sound input. I went to the hospital and I now have an enlarged heart and have been referred to a cardiologist.

21. AnonymousApril 15,2025 at 1:07PM UTC

    Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear that. It's a shock to find out how much damage something as little as 'stress' can do to you. I hope they are able to find effective treatments for you.

22. AnonymousMarch 25,2025 at 7:09PM UTC

    Nothing is more toxic than nonprofit life.

23. AnonymousMarch 25,2025 at 11:49PM UTC

    I am the person who posted and I agree. I joined a "equity based org" and was told week 2 of my employment that other people didn't think I would be a good fit. And I hate to do this but I am an African woman.

24. AnonymousMarch 26,2025 at 2:36PM UTC

    I posted about nothing being more toxic in nonprofit life. I don't doubt anything that you may have heard or have experienced. Although as a white woman I haven't experienced any racialised discrimination or bias, as a woman with over ten years of leadership experience in the space, I have watched men who present themselves as being the most progressive people in the room become defensive when I mentioned simply being the only woman in leadership in the room. Similarly, as a heterosexual married woman, I have had men in nonprofit spaces publicly comment that they feel bad for my husband when they have perceived me as being 'too direct' in the workplace. Also, let's say nothing of the men and women in nonprofit settings who have tried to intuit all kinds of things about me as a person due to my childfree status.

25. Maggie SoldanoMarch 25,2025 at 10:48PM UTC

    Ugh, this sounds exhausting.

    When workplace bullying becomes a pattern across multiple jobs, it’s worth stepping back to analyze common factors: Are there particular dynamics at play? Do certain industries or roles foster this behavior? Are there things you might be doing inadvertently trigger bullying responses?

    While none of this excuses mistreatment, identifying patterns can help you strategize your next move. Given the toll on your health, prioritizing an exit is crucial.

    If the job search is dragging, consider expanding your options—different industries, roles, or even leveraging your side business in a new way.

    Seeking therapy would be my absolute first course of action to address those chest pains and rebuild your confidence. Then maybe a career coach to steer you in the right direction professionally. Everyone deserves a workplace where you're valued, not undermined.

26. AnonymousMarch 25,2025 at 11:49PM UTC

    I am the person who posted, thank you for this.

27. AnonymousMarch 26,2025 at 10:00PM UTC

    I am the one who posted. I did not say I was African American, I said that I am African. I immigrated from Africa and there "can" be a difference in how you are viewed as an immigrant. You may or may not be familiar. I am educated with a post bachelors degree and have worked in my field for many years. Lastly, your wording about "performance and merit", "hiring", "treated differently" is some of what I was addressing in my post. But good will.

28. Barbara SoninMarch 28,2025 at 4:58PM UTC

    Your comment "I am a hard worker and I do my best" may be telling. I'm sorry, but absolutely no one cares how hard you work, or (especially) whether what you're doing is your best. All that anyone in the workplace, especially your supervisors, cares about is your results. If your best efforts do not produce the results expected in the position, then you're a bad fit for that position.

29. AnonymousApril 15,2025 at 1:05PM UTC

    Wow looks like someone has been drinking the anti Diversity, Equity and Inclusion Kool-Aid. The crap you are spewing is just horrible and not based in anything other than good old fashion white racism and before you jump up, I'm a white person calling you out. GO educate yourself about what DEI programs are actually about and stop spewing your crap here. Would you say the same words to someone in a wheelchair? How about a neurodivergent individual? Think they got 'special treatment' too? Jesus, I'm embarrassed that someone like you is even here.

30. AnonymousApril 29,2025 at 7:27PM UTC

    Hello, I am the person who wrote the original post regarding work challenges. I did reply to the individual's post who you are referencing. The individual saw my post and immediately started to make blank statements and insinuations about me and comments about "merit" and whether a person " deserves the job", and even being "treated differently". Referencing race as some type of crutch people can use to want to be treated fairly? This type of language is very much anti-equity and extremely presumptuous in a destructive way. There are people in leadership who probably think similar to them-and have acted upon it. I did not say too much in response (as is it necessary and pointless), but I can appreciate that another individual could flag it as problematic.