I left my job 9 months back due to an extremely toxic work culture and boss and took a break to improve my mental health.

14 Comments

1. AnonymousMay 19,2023 at 6:02PM UTC

   I can totally relate. The same thing happened to me and I took care to do things to build my view of my self worth. Do not let someone else's view or behaviors impact how you view yourself. You are a smart, valuable person!!

   Do you have access to any counseling benefits? Is there any local organization that provides help with resumes or support to job seekers? That was helpful to me when I was in a similar situation awhile ago. And I came out of the funk and I am doing very well now.

2. AnonymousMay 19,2023 at 8:01PM UTC

   Hey there, my journey sounds similar to yours! You made a very brave choice and you are clearly making strides by simply posting this.

   Be kind to yourself -- You are absolutely good enough! Allow this time to heal. We don't realize how much we internalize when we are in a negative environment.

   I know there are difficult days and that's when doubt tends to creep in. The job search is draining especially when it is all you are focused on. Break up your goals into smaller phases, find communities that can support you, and make sure to do something that brings you joy. This process is a marathon, not a sprint.

3. AnonymousMay 19,2023 at 8:04PM UTC

   After being pushed out of my job, I felt the same. Spending a few months doing part-time work where my efforts were appreciated was very healing. Spending time with a 90+ year old man with dementia was fun. I could tell the same joke multiple times and get a laugh every time.

4. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 12:26AM UTC

   Heya I have definetely been in this position. This sounds crazy but there are a ton of tik toks full of advice on how to get out of the rabbit hole. I found them to be really helpful. Just search workplace bullying and recovering from workplace bullying. It takes a serious toll but you can rise above it.

5. Dr. Trelaunda Beckett-JonesMay 20,2023 at 1:09PM UTC

   Congratulations on putting yourself first! ? I applaud you for realizing that YOU matter! Repeat after me: “I matter!” Say it again, “ I matter”! “ I’m smart!” “I’m beautiful!” “I’m talented”! Repeat these statements daily. Look at yourself in the mirror and say it to yourself. Positive affirmations are valuable to regain your confidence. It’s quite normal to be in the space you are in after such an experience. Hey, you are human after all. By reaching out to us at FGB, this is a true sign that now you are ready to pick yourself up and get back out there.

   So, it’s time to do just that. Stand up, stretch and look at yourself in the mirror and speak to yourself in a positive way. Take deep breaths and figure out what you want to do next in your professional life. Yes, another employer will hire you. There are lots of them waiting for you to apply and show them your professional talents and skills and tell them how you can be a great asset to their company/organization (this can be written in your cover letter). Let me be one of the first to tell you that YOU are amazing! YOU Rock! YOU are talented! YOU are smart & creative! YOU are beautiful! Now, tell this to yourself and get out there and tell the world! They are waiting for you! ??

6. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 2:02PM UTC

   Good morning Dr. Beckett-Jones,

   would you mind sharing your opinion on my post?

   ”I am extremely frustrated with work environment.”

7. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 2:41PM UTC

   You might consider therapy as you are struggling with far more than you realize.

8. BethBMay 21,2023 at 1:15PM UTC

   Toxic job environments can do a number on our self confidence, even when we regain mental health. We doubt ourselves and there can also be fear of the situation repeating itself.

   Here are few ideas. Get your mojo back! Do volunteer work, take a class, read articles about your field, participate in trade groups.

   Make yourself a promise that you will treat job hunting like a job. set hours and do something for the hunt every work day.

   Interviewing, especially answering the “why did you leave/what are you doing” type of questions can also cause anxiety. Button down your answers and practice them so they roll off the tongue.

9. Jennifer TaylorMay 21,2023 at 1:57PM UTC

   It sounds like you have PTSD and PTSD induced depression. Have you thought about working with a therapist? I had horrible PTSD from a toxic work environment and it took me almost two years to overcome it. I still get triggered, but since I spent the time to work through the issues, my psyche is so much better.

   Please reach out if you want to talk.

10. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 2:19PM UTC

    I have experienced this twice since 2020 and can relate. Your fear of entering another toxic environment is valid, because I was in your boat, did that and left the second one recently. It was as bad or worse than the last yet in different ways. Worst-case, you’ll know to leave sooner! It can be disappointing, but every time you save yourself from abusive situations the better you’ll feel about yourself. People actually understand and respect that choice, yet you should frame it positively about what you wanted to do next for yourself and keep it about you, not them. You might say, “I had valuable experiences and accomplished all the goals I believe I could there before choosing to regroup and pursue other opportunities that align with my values and purpose.” Then be ready to state what those values and purpose are. That will say enough without being negative or shifting the focus away from you, the candidate. Some aspects of these “toxic” environments and experiences are within our control even though they’re not our fault nor anything we or anyone else deserves. Acknowledging that helps you remember your power as you move forward. Affirmations, daily guided meditation, gratitude journaling, and personal development books and podcasts have all been helpful during the last position as well as the gaps. They all help me keep the focus on what I can control - myself - and keep improving and healing things to where I’ll be better equipped to deal with difficult people. They’re not going away completely anytime soon. We can’t control them. We can control our reactions and choose to outnumber them by surrounding ourselves with kinder people, including ourselves. While none of that updates your resume for you, it can help your mindset to better frame how you think about yourself and share your experiences, even the unpleasant ones. Spend time focusing on what you loved about the positive work experiences you’ve had and use that list in your new search. Focusing on what good, fun and rewarding opportunities may be out there may help motivate you instead of being filled with dread and fear expecting you’ll land in another bad place. If you can afford it, hire a career coach. There are some really great ones out there, and even just a few sessions can help. Ask their recommendation for a professional resume builder if that specific task is daunting. Wishing you (and me) the best. Good work environments do exist!

11. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 3:53PM UTC

    I am right there with you. Still sending resumes, have some interviews but am never given offers. It's so depressing and quite scary.

12. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 5:25PM UTC

    I'm there too. I'd quit without a job if i could but i still need a few years before retiring. I am meeting with my boss's boss tomorrow. I have PTSD when i go to the office I feel my blood pressure going up, stomach and diarrhea start kicking in. I work in the office, he works from home in another state. I try not to call him if i need help because I know his response will be I showed you that, then he disconnects chat. Some of the items were something he showed me the first day of work, in 10x speed (I thought it was a demo) and didn't have enough time to grasp what he was doing. Now I need to do that update and i for most of it, but I'm missing one piece. For this, the comment above. I can't work for him, my husband says I have ammo to get him fired, Non PC regarding disabilities, so I should tell my boss ( and his) that he goes or I go. I said no, I don't want his job. I likely will give them the ammo they need but I'm not sticking around.

13. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 7:07PM UTC

    Wow I can totally relate but still stuck in this situation so good for getting out of it. I’m starting therapy next week. If you have access I would suggest looking into therapy. Sometimes we need a little help!

14. Fmstori PlusMay 22,2023 at 9:44AM UTC

    Good Morning, I literally just walked away from this environment, I start a new position on the 4th of June Don't be discouraged trust me it's not you, unfortunately, a lot of Sups and Management didn't get the full memo when workers had to work from home.

    Before 2020 I had a great stirring in knowing that I wanted more and to make a difference, but I had not yet realized how so I continued to work in toxic work environments this was the 4th in a recent 2-year span. The workplace has become the definition of the movie Mean Girls, I have never been into the whole cliq scene, especially since high school. It's like you become a big target if you isolate yourself from the "cool kids club".

    With that being said workplace bullying has in my opinion been poorly dealt with especially if it's coming from management and leaders...Yet, your worth should not be a factor. Have you thought about starting your own business (I know that is easier said than done a lot of times) or really thought about what you would really like to do ....what is your dream job... etc...

    Back in 2016 when I was in the midst of my entrepreneurial studies, I had the overwhelming confirmation that I wanted more in life and to make a huge impact. At the time, I had a rare dynamic supervisor who encouraged me to try out for a 10-week entrepreneurship training program she expressed seeing leadership in me.

    So I embarked on that suggestion while taking my entrepreneurship cert at the time. I'm so glad I did because before my pitch the revelation came as to what I was supposed to do and who I was supposed to help. Get with your local SCORE chapter or use chat gpt it helps with resumes, business plans, business structure or to get the ideas flowing.

    Places like Thrivent Financial can counsel you on business structure and funding opportunities if this is the route you take you could start an anti-workplace bullying service for workers or provide a food truck with yummy foods for underserved communities....just tossing ideas...

    Your mental stability is not your fault workplace bullying can and does produce trauma that greatly needs to be dealt with by addressing and dealing with the offenders (not you), you have done nothing wrong...

    Take this time for yourself to find out what you really want to do, leadership and management didn't get the memo that workers are tired of being underpaid doormats and can now have options to work from home and/or start their own businesses...

    despite starting a new job the week of the 4th I have finally decided to use the funds to invest, invest, invest in my business strides and goals for financial freedom you got this and have greatness ready to launch

    As a 17 year- SC former Foster Child I have published a Memoir (Fostered by Shelena Michelle Tate Amazon)

    Became a Foster Care Content Creator, Podcaster, developing 3 Brands Business Ower, 1 Brand made 501c3 Staus in 2020

    With more projects in development...

    In other words, nothing is impossible you just need supporting environments and people to encourage you along the way...don't feel bad removing yourself from those places is the best thing you can do to regroup and have a dynamic comeback...

    I know therapy and mental health is the go-to subject for trauma...yet removing yourself from the environment is the best start. I feel only do therapy if you feel led but it should not be forced on you.....support groups could be another option and taking up a fulfilling hobby can be a form of therapy without having to feel like you are at fault or need medication to survive...

    I've always been an advocate against the remedial efforts of medication and isolation... I'm making my brands to help meet people where they are outside those go-to methods. I've seen the positive effects of this alternative route...

    Yet, ultimately you must do what can be most helpful for you to press forward in igniting your greatness...

    I'm @fmstoriplus on Facebook