I have a colleague whom I dislike and am required to interact with often. Should I look for another position?

20 Comments

1. Coach Jenn HassanMay 5,2025 at 1:35PM UTC

   There will always be someone we don’t fully click with—and sometimes, they reflect something we haven’t yet made peace with in ourselves. I’ve learned that instead of running from the discomfort, it helps to get curious. What is this reaction trying to teach me? Growth often comes from the people who challenge us the most.

2. AnonymousMay 5,2025 at 2:55PM UTC

   Is it just a personal dislike or they suck at their job or your work styles aren't the same or some other situation? If it's simply you don't like each other on a personal level, you need to put that aside. Over the course of your working life, you are going to come across many people you don't like. You need to learn how to handle that.

3. AnonymousMay 5,2025 at 6:23PM UTC

   I would first choose to develope professionalism in these cases. You're not going to like all that you work with.

4. AnonymousMay 5,2025 at 6:57PM UTC

   You can't run from every person who you don't like. This is a big world, and there are many humans. There are humans we get along with and those we don't. Put aside the petty reasons you don't like them and be a team player. Seeking another position is your urge to run when things get bad. Make it work and you'll look like the better person.

5. AnonymousMay 5,2025 at 9:15PM UTC

   Disliking a coworker is an extreme rationalization for leaving. Sometimes you just learn to deal with different personalities. If you just can't work with this person then yes, leave.

6. Vivian LeeMay 7,2025 at 7:07PM UTC

   Unless the colleague’s actions impact your health & safety. Is the colleague harassing you? Stealing, vandalizing, or destroying personal property? Verbally abusive?

7. C. GarrabrantMay 6,2025 at 12:29PM UTC

   Stay professional, polite but distant. Keep it all work related.

8. Vivian LeeMay 7,2025 at 7:05PM UTC

   Yes to business, nothing personal with the colleague. Conversations related to the work project.

9. AnonymousMay 7,2025 at 2:46PM UTC

   The whole point of the forum is to ask for advice. Did you not get that?

10. Jessica FerlandMay 7,2025 at 2:49PM UTC

    No job is all rainbows and butterflies. There will be people you don't like anywhere you go. Do you like your actual job? Do the benefits work for your lifestyle? Could you find another job easily? I would encourage you to look at the whole picture, including this, in order to make the best decision for yourself.

11. Alexis GladstoneMay 7,2025 at 2:49PM UTC

    There is almost always going to be someone you work with where you just don't click. You may want to look at this as a learning experience and try different tactics in your interactions to see what works and feels best.

    I have found being professional and limiting the interaction to the work at hand, works best for me. You need to find your way.

    I also remind myself that not everyone likes me either!

12. AnonymousMay 7,2025 at 9:23PM UTC

    Isn't that what we do here? If you can't offer useful advice, why comment at all?

13. Anna ReesMay 8,2025 at 4:11PM UTC

    I totally get it. It's so easy to give advice like, "life is hard; suck it up!" But this is your only life. Your job takes up so much of it. If your coworker is making your days miserable, start looking around for other jobs. Get on Indeed and start weighing your options. At least you can get a sense for what's out there which can make you feel less trapped. You have control over your own life! You don't have to stay somewhere if you don't want to!

14. maria roseMay 8,2025 at 8:01PM UTC

    Unless one lives in a vacuum world, you are never going to be anywhere with just coworkers who are all one’s BFFs. Part of the idea of holding a job is that ability to coexist with others who may not be one’s ideal person to be with in any capacity but one’s job requires cooperation coordination with them. And there is no guarantee that changing jobs will eliminate exposure to others who may be as similar. —there is a saying—better to know your enemy and keep them close at hand than to have them somewhere else. Your job BFFs are not always going to warn you if they have job insecurities plus working well with someone who you don’t like is excellent team work and great learning experience. I am not preaching total acceptance and ignoring the dislike feelings but I am saying that life situations are not the perfect ideal world because we are all humans with differences. Now if you don’t need your paycheck as the means to support your lifestyle because your necessity bills are covered, you can go ahead and job hop off in your search for the perfect ideal workplace and hope that you find it. I would be a rich billionaire if I got paid by the number of people I had to work with that I didn’t like to work with but then I would have not gotten paid either. I became the EAGLE who soared with the turkeys—don’t underestimate turkeys because they are tough.

15. yvette finley PHRMay 9,2025 at 10:58PM UTC

    what is it about the colleague you dislike? How would you explain the reason behind your transition to another team or company?

16. AnonymousMay 10,2025 at 6:22PM UTC

    That depends on how much your role means to you. If you have reached the status that you desire I would not leave my position.

    Dealing with a colleague you dislike and still remain in professional is totally doable. You just deal with the issues, and the project, and whatever needs to be dealt with at hand.

    Nothing more has to be said or done between the two of you. Do not ever let someone have so much energy over you that they make you leave your bread and butter, or a position that you have strived for. I was once in the same boat several years ago and I made sure when I left it was because I was ready and it was for more money and a better opportunity. The same way I had to deal with them they had to deal with me.

17. AnonymousMay 13,2025 at 1:43PM UTC

    I am not letting a coworker take food out of my mouth.

    I don't have to like someone to respect them and vice-versa.

    If they are out to sabotage you, keep excellent notes and cover your behind. Typically those kinds of workers weed themselves out. Even the butt-kissers.

    When I first got my position, another supervisor was seriously seriously angry. He did everything he could to throw me under the bus. In one meeting he told me (in front of upper management) that since I moved to my "throne", he couldn't get the help he needed.

    After that for a week straight, I wore a crown (not a tiara, a big old heavy crown). I wore it into the next management meeting we had. He came up to my desk and apologized. I told him we were getting nowhere by not liking each other and it was having an effect on both our teams.

    The apology was for show. He never changed, within 5 months, he was caught in more lies than he could get out of while I had all the documentation I needed to cover me and my team.

    If you like your job, don't let anyone make you leave. If you leave, do it because it isn't the job for you.

18. AnonymousMay 15,2025 at 4:15PM UTC

    Really? Why not try to build a bridge and find some way to enjoy working with them and not going past that line to anything personal. Often we are working with those who are different from us in style, personality or work ethic and can learn new things from those folks despite these differences. Since you don't give any details here about what you dislike perhaps you need a change of attitude about how to work with those who may not be to your liking?

19. AnonymousMay 15,2025 at 4:18PM UTC

    She's way too bossy.

20. AnonymousMay 15,2025 at 4:25PM UTC

    OP above, okay so sit her down and let her know that she does not manage you and that while you are fine to hear her opinion that you expect her as a peer to not try to manage your work. Be kind when you say that and not accusatory. If there is not a response from her side then if you need to bring HR into the conversation and get them to broker a better way of communicating. Don't let a bully take you out of a job you love.