I recently submitted my resignation from an organization where the culture is fundamentally toxic.

33 Comments

1. AnonymousJanuary 9,2025 at 12:59PM UTC

   It will likely come back in some form or fashion. Exit interviews are for the company's benefit. Most of the time it's just to make sure the company will not be sued .

   I don't think the company would mess with verification of employment since that would be fraud. But if you have a strong reputation in your industry or require a reference then they will blow you up if you hint of anything other than a great experience.

   I never ever participate. It does me no good.

2. AnonymousJanuary 9,2025 at 3:46PM UTC

   I have to agree. Toxic companies fiercely guard their image and love to pretend that anything negative is due to a toxic employee not the company itself. Watch out about what you say. Just know that n9 positive change will come from an exit interview.

3. AnonymousJanuary 9,2025 at 1:21PM UTC

   Employment verifications are how long you were there, what was your title when you left. If your company uses a source that handles that. It shouldn't go past that. Now in the exit interview, remember you work for people, and companies change people, meaning, is it worth burning a bridge? Practice your concerns and make sure they are professionlly shared. Use "I feel/felt", not "You". You can share.

4. AnonymousJanuary 9,2025 at 1:49PM UTC

   If you walk out running down the organization, you cannot get a reference from this company that will help you if you need it going forward. Please keep it simple and about you. You are leaving for an opportunity that better aligns with your career goals. Nothing you can say will change the past, nor will it change how they treat their people.

5. Mare LevineJanuary 9,2025 at 5:55PM UTC

   I found this article, "Exit Interviews are a Trap" (https://jacobian.org/2022/apr/4/exit-interviews-are-a-trap/) to be interesting. I have done all three routes mentioned: Avoid meeting; Be bland if you Accept Meeting; Tell it Like it Was (from my POV). I personally would approach it in the order I listed the routes. However, you need to choose what works best for you and your situation.

6. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistJanuary 9,2025 at 10:44PM UTC

   Personally, I would try to avoid if possible and would not tell the truth if I had to do one. If you have to do one, I would keep it generic, something along the lines of "I'm moving on to the next logical step for me" or something along those lines.

   I don't see the point. There's too much opportunity for it to come back to bite you in the ass and if they really wanted to be a better company, they'd already be one.

7. AnonymousJanuary 10,2025 at 12:24AM UTC

   You’re not required to complete an exit interview. Decline it. Put your feedback on Glassdoor. If you opt to complete it only say the appreciation for the opportunity. You cannot change the place. Trust me it’s not worth dying on that hill. I hope you found a better place to go.

8. AnonymousJanuary 10,2025 at 12:33AM UTC

   Never step on the toes of the ass you may kiss tomorrow. Meaning always leave with a positive glow about you, not a cloud of dust. You control their lasting impression of you, but you can’t control the dirt that remains inside the org, make your getaway clean. Decline the exit interview. It’s not required. But if you must, remember, be neutral, non judgmental and thank them for the opportunity. You never know if you will run into these folks at another job or worse report to them, hence, don’t step on the toes comment.

9. AnonymousJanuary 10,2025 at 3:10AM UTC

   They don't care what you really have to say. Toxic cultures don't change because of what people say in an exit interview. I would decline it. If you can't, keep it short and simple-you found another role more aligned with your personal and professional goals. Period. End of Story. Smile and walk out if pressed.

10. AnonymousJanuary 10,2025 at 2:04PM UTC

    I have always politely refused doing an exit interview. The company really doesn't care why you are leaving and they are just doing this as a formality. What you have to say is not cause for them to change anything. Just.

    Tell them thank you very much for the opportunity but you will decline

11. AnonymousJanuary 10,2025 at 3:04PM UTC

    Today is 1.10.2025, I’m tired of hearing schizophrenia, “1.7.2025 I’m making 140K plus 20k bonus every years that’s the problem I’m fired” 1.8.2025 I can’t leave my jobs because I’m making six figures salaries” “1.9.2025 I start a new job …..” not to be dragged by toxic environment devaluing you.

    Talk to corporate lawyers and policemen won’t hurt with evidence like this “you have to be yourself, no one can be you” make sure you have paper contract in hand so you know who is the employer

    in the mean while never stop looking for good companies value your worth and salaries/bonus increase as promised.

12. AnonymousJanuary 10,2025 at 4:12PM UTC

    Going against the flow here, this is your last chance to be “on the record” with the organization. Think of it like a job interview. You show a very biased side of yourself to create a favorable impression in an effort to advance your career. The exit can be the same way. You can leave an impression that you were positive, gracious and such a rockstar that someone else snatched you up. Politely declining to voice anything negative will stand up well. This worked well for me.

    Good companies DO consider exit interview information. The issue is that the good companies already know their issues and the problematic ones don’t care. Where exit interviews are most helpful is when an overall well-run company has a problem that isn’t hitting their radar. Please consider that before you delete the survey.

13. Maggie SoldanoJanuary 10,2025 at 5:21PM UTC

    I agree! Great advice for her next role. In this case, it sounds like the toxicity is endemic and probably won't be worth the energy.

14. AnonymousJanuary 11,2025 at 3:35PM UTC

    Good points. Another factor to consider is that your new company may hire others from your old company. You have one more chance to tell them how good you are, without saying anything negative. If you get cornered and are forced to do an informal exit, remember interviews are full of half-truths and so are exits, and it’s OK just to say “hmmm, can I think about that and email you something?” Then of course you don’t.

15. AnonymousJanuary 10,2025 at 4:44PM UTC

    You’re not required to do an exit interview. But if you do one be very high level and cordial. If they didn’t care about your thoughts when you were there they won’t care when you leave. Now if you are interested in lodging a complaint with the labor board and also getting unemployment because you were forced to leave due to unfair practices at the company that is a different story. Assuming you’ve lodged formal written complaints about the issues and have the documentation you may get somewhere. In my state any formal complaint requires investigation.

16. Maggie SoldanoJanuary 10,2025 at 5:19PM UTC

    Decline. Exit interviews have zero value to the exiting employee or those employees that remain at the company. It's merely a practice that determines how to close out your HR file — ok to rehire or not. Information you provide rarely if ever gets put to good use. It will not be a catalyst for change. Just let them know how busy you are helping the team transition, but you'll reach out if time frees up. But definitely pass.

17. AnonymousJanuary 10,2025 at 5:37PM UTC

    No harm could be done to you, and yes you can decline the exit interview. Don't sign anything they put in front of you when you leave and if they ask you to sign something that has a non-disparagement clause be certain that it is a 2-way clause or do not sign! The only thing you need to do when you leave is return all company equipment, and any other items that they gave you that belong to them. Take off any personal information on your computer that you do not want them to have access to and if you did any personal things on your computer change your passwords on those sites so that none will be compromised. A good IT team can hack into those. If you were shorted any salary illegally you can file a wage claim against them with the FEHA and EEOC offices in your area. When your last day comes they have a limited time to pay you your last paycheck. Look up your states laws about final pay because if they don't abide by those rules you are entitled to interest and they will get a fine. Good luck in your new role.

18. Me!January 11,2025 at 3:05AM UTC

    Keep it surface level, don’t offer anything deep or helpful. if they wanted to fix the issues they would. Inaction is a decision to continue without improvement. Take the high road

19. AnonymousJanuary 11,2025 at 3:40PM UTC

    You can request your exit interview with some you feel comfortable with if that's helpful to you. You can accept it decline the interview. Your choice but surface level responses if you feel it will affect your job hunt. But if you don't care and don't want the employer to be contacted tell the truth respectfully. This situation sounds similar to mine. I chose to have my exit interview with a board member trying to make change. She was really happy I told my truth and disappointed in the organization. She asked if in the future the changes are made will I consider coming back. I said yes I will consider it, because I want nothing but the best for the organization.

20. Colleen HansonJanuary 11,2025 at 7:26PM UTC

    I did something similar with a previous company I worked for and it backfired horribly! The person I did my interview was the one person I trusted in the company and who really played up making constructive changes, so I felt very comfortable with her. I found out later that she was simply playing a "role" for the company and that many of the people who had confided in her honestly were ultimately "blacklisted" within the industry. Since that time I have found it best to decline exit interviews and save my respectfully written resignation letters so that if there is ever a question I would have something to show.

21. AnonymousJanuary 11,2025 at 7:22PM UTC

    They dont care, decline the interview.

22. KathrynJanuary 11,2025 at 8:34PM UTC

    As recent company (Toxic) HR you dont have to and it wont matter. I escaped you should do

23. JB09718January 12,2025 at 2:07AM UTC

    Personally, I would accept the exit interview and identify a few small, but key, items in a professional manner. I wouldn’t cite anything you will become emotional over but look for potential points that can be used in other interviews (ex; identified process improvements to management to increase efficiency etc.)

24. PJ DeusenberryJanuary 12,2025 at 2:40PM UTC

    If they didn't listen while you were there, why would they listen as you're leaving. You can decline the interview.

25. AnonymousJanuary 12,2025 at 4:10PM UTC

    Don’t burn bridges. I’ve never heard of an exit interview doing “good” for the company….

26. Jami FarkasJanuary 12,2025 at 4:44PM UTC

    As an HR leader, do what you feel comfortable with for the exit. You can decline it entirely, submit something in writing, or request the interview be conducted with someone you trust (if there is one). If the culture truly is toxic, the information you give is likely to be tossed to the wayside anyway. If it's not, then maybe some of your statements can be a catalyst for change at some level.

    The concern of yours that's been addressed nowhere in this thread is whether or not your exit comments can be used to hurt you in future background/employment verifications. The answer to that is "no". It's exceedingly rare that new employers want anything other than confirmation that you actually worked at the company, and your title during that time. It's illegal in many states to even ask about pay. If more info than that is desired , the candidate has to sign a waiver stating what info they want the former employer to share. Again, this is very rare. Companies who say more than they should are subject to lawsuits for that behavior, and the penalties are harsh. Gone are the days where former managers can try to hurt their employees in this way without consequence. Verification requests go straight to HR and even in a toxic environment, no one wants a lawsuit. I hope that helps ease your mind a bit. I've been in an environment where my boss was abusive and though I liked other aspects of my work, I had to leave. I sincerely wish that you find a better and healthier place to land.

27. AnonymousJanuary 12,2025 at 5:33PM UTC

    Unfortunately there will be always" toxic" elements at work:

    It could be nepotism and taking advantage of that. The ones that always need to leave early because of the kids feeling unwell, school parents meeting and you'have to cover them because you, yourself do not have children, but you are not extra paid for the cover or for those extra hours. .., am I right?

    It could be because you are not " blonde" enough to run easier away than an " ugly duck" who perform well in their tasks..., your body odour, your way of how you dress, your hair, what you eat, how it stinks and on and on.

    Be aware that HR is not ( in nobody's dream) a Charity, they are there to protect the company, not your poor soul suffering from bullying...

    HR is a dept. that listen only the CEO's need, not yours, unless you made a 10000% profit not only for the company but for "their" yearly bonus...!

    Stay in your own lane ( even if you work within a big team and you get on well with some of them...), if you know you havent done anything wrong, stay corteous, no need to answer everything.

    Let HR do the hard core job, at the end of the day they need their monthly income toothat pays their bills too, so they are not going necessarily to make your life a hell, unless you brave to them.

    With the above said, of course there are HR staff, and MD's and CEO's that are genuinely mean, discriminatory, snobbishly arrogant, because they are entitled to, not because you deserve it.

    HR dept. is like the " malicious gossip centre", do not even mention, if " anyone" ask you about your xmas plans, not to mention that youre going to ski in tje Swiss Alps etc, or helping the homeless..... HR like to " twist " your words and anything mentioned its added in your records. So there is no GDPR transparency at all.

    Its all for their own interest.!

    Try to find a Lawyer, that DO NOT WORK for your company, because they have their contacts, where they will earn " extra" money, that could be yours instead.

    Protect you self, stay in your lane, you will sleep better.

    Stay like a wolf: be cautious and patience, until it is genuinely needed to react.

    Best of luck in your life,

28. AnonymousJanuary 12,2025 at 6:13PM UTC

    This needs to be printed and hung up in every organization….

    Well said

29. LORI-ANN BURLINGAMEJanuary 13,2025 at 3:01AM UTC

    To protect yourself and your reputation - force on the positive and not the Company's shortcomings. If you talk poorly about your current employer, you may do the same things with a future employer.

30. AnonymousJanuary 13,2025 at 2:54PM UTC

    Be very specific, give examples, and share only issues that will directly impact your replacement. For example, provide an example of an HR policy that would be helpful to the future person in your role and explain how it would impact the role/company positively.

    In other words - at this point, you should stick to helpful, concrete suggestions that will improve the situation for your replacement.

31. Katherine LehmanJanuary 13,2025 at 3:29PM UTC

    In my opinion you can simply decline. If they are that toxic, they are unlikely to do anything with your suggestions as they simply haven't in the past. I know it is tempting to be a good person and try to impact change, but it simply is not worth jeopardizing the bridge if you may need a reference in the future.

32. AnonymousJanuary 14,2025 at 11:54AM UTC

    You might try finding a few things you like and compliment the company on them. Could not hurt.

    You never know when you might need a reference or meet one of the players downstream.

33. Melissa JonesJanuary 23,2025 at 7:21PM UTC

    Exit interviews are not mandatory, you can politely decline. If not focus on the things you liked and avoid bashing anyone