I resigned from a job that had cost me physically, mentally and which affected my relationship with my husband and 2 and a half year old.

22 Comments

1. Alexandria Scobee |Leadership Coach | IT ManagerSeptember 29,2021 at 1:20PM UTC

   First congratulations for making a hard choice and holding a boundary for yourself. That is something to be proud of. As for next steps take a breath and think about what would bring you joy. If you are seeking concrete plans and strategies I am happy to talk with you about it more.

2. AnonymousSeptember 29,2021 at 8:08PM UTC

   Thank you

3. Jennifer HoweSeptember 29,2021 at 1:20PM UTC

   Next step = heal and take care of yourself physically and mentally. Your self worth is not based on your job. You deserve much better than a toxic work environment. Also remember that when the thoughts of hopelessness and dejection creep in, that they are just thoughts. They are not the truth, no matter how much we may try to convince ourselves that they are.

4. AnonymousSeptember 29,2021 at 8:07PM UTC

   Thank you

5. Lezli WarkentinSeptember 29,2021 at 1:30PM UTC

   Don't give up! If you can, take some time to heal both yourself and your relationships at home. If you can't take the time off look for something that is low demand or even part time. Take a deeper look and figure out where your boundaries are between a work life balance. Once your ready jump back into something you have a passion for.

   This is experience talking! I left a job like what your describing and it was the best decision I ever made. that was almost 3 years ago. You were extremely brave to walk away. Just keep going, heal, and don't give up!

6. AnonymousSeptember 29,2021 at 8:07PM UTC

   Thanks

7. AnonymousSeptember 29,2021 at 1:32PM UTC

   Next steps should be to take some time to decompress and heal yourself.

   Get some therapy to help you unravel any emotional suffering you are dealing with and perhaps include your husband so you two can heal your relationship.

   Once you've taken some time and used the advice of a therapist. Try to establish a healthy routine and take time to enjoy your holidays with your family. You can update your resume and start thinking about what you'd like to do with your career and the types of companies that might offer environments and leadership that will support your wellbeing.

8. AnonymousSeptember 29,2021 at 8:07PM UTC

   Thanks

9. Erin Thomas, Career + Leadership CoachSeptember 29,2021 at 1:42PM UTC

   Take this moment as an inflection point where you can say, this was the moment I started doing.... or I stopped doing ....

   Be intentional about your next move and get clear on what is most important, what you do best, and how you’re motivated and then build a strategy from there.

   Happy to help if need be:
   Www.careerandleadershipcoaching.com

10. AnonymousSeptember 29,2021 at 8:07PM UTC

    Thank you

11. AnonymousSeptember 29,2021 at 1:46PM UTC

    Take care of yourself and mend the relationship with your family. I also like to take these opportunities and get a 'fun' job.

12. AnonymousSeptember 29,2021 at 8:14PM UTC

    Thank you

13. Khala GraceSeptember 29,2021 at 2:23PM UTC

    I understand the feeling of being drained from a job on more than one occasion. Although finding the perfect job is difficult, one should work towards applying to positions that help create a sense of balance. Humans have developed a trend of working more than living. There is no shame in biding time to enjoy the life given to us. Perhaps a break in work will help you discover a passion to strive for. Even if you may eventually have to return to a temporary position, just remember that the step is being taken to fulfill your ideal occupation. It has and still is taking me time to find a stable writing job. Yet, I won't give up. With that said, I hope you also won't give up your dreams. Stay blessed and good luck.

14. AnonymousSeptember 29,2021 at 8:05PM UTC

    Thank you

15. Beverly RuyleSeptember 29,2021 at 2:26PM UTC

    Vacation and therapy - not necessarily in that order.

16. Jackie RukaSeptember 29,2021 at 4:08PM UTC

    Heal and put a new plan of your lifestyle together. I specialize in overcoming burnout and rising toward your new purpose. Please connect if you need support?

17. AnonymousSeptember 29,2021 at 8:05PM UTC

    Thank you

18. Barb HansenSeptember 29,2021 at 5:01PM UTC

    I'm so sorry that you are feeling hopeless and dejected. It's a natural feeling to have after a job-loss (technically you resigned but you know what I mean)

    You didn't provide a lot of background in your post so some of my assumptions in my post

    You said your job was awful (physically and mentally breaking you) so I'm sure you were suffering from more "attacks" than you are aware of. Those attacks on you say more about them and they say nothing about you.

    I'm going to say this again - their attacks on you say nothing about you.

    You are not at fault, and when that voice in your head starts to tell you that "you were at fault", "you are broken", "you were wrong" (or whatever that voice is saying), tell that voice to "go away" or whatever phrase works for you. I happen to like the voice inside my head that tells me that I won't succeed to "f*ck off".

    Then tell yourself whatever you need to hear "it was not my fault", "those people were awful', "I'm so much stronger than that stupid job", "I was too good to work there anyway" Tell yourself whatever you need to hear.

    If you have a friend or family member that you can vent too, then do that. If you don't have a friend that will let you vent, call me (seriously, reach out to me)

    Take the time that you need to recover, if you can. If you can't take any time and you need to start looking for another job now, then schedule 30 minutes or an hour and spend that time cleaning up your resume and linkedin profile, and start applying for jobs. Take a few baby steps every day, as sometimes there is no way around it but through it.

    Remember, Don't let those bast*rds bring you down!

19. AnonymousSeptember 29,2021 at 8:05PM UTC

    Thank you so much

20. AnonymousSeptember 30,2021 at 2:50AM UTC

    Have you spoken with a therapist and also a doctor? Focus on rest and healing, physically and emotionally. Write down your goals and make small steps toward them. Even if it’s as simple as taking your kid to the park or reading a book.

21. Dominique ChamelySeptember 30,2021 at 11:53AM UTC

    Yeah, totally agree with the guidance on recovering yourself. Make sure to take time to remember who you are, what brings you joy, what made/makes you feel strong. Remember the culture there isn’t a reflection of who you are, and your mind went into a survival response, so all the joyous things need recovery. Art, music, books, friends, your loved ones, your hobbies—do something physical (gardening, pottery, drawing) and just give yourself permission to reconnect with your heart and intuition.

22. Jasmine ViccarroSeptember 30,2021 at 11:45PM UTC

    Tap into your network. Commit to progress, most important, give yourself permission to take care of yourself. Feelings will pass and you will recover in the best way for yourself. If you can try to understand what attracted you to this role, try to look for ways to give yourself a shot at finding a new job or passion that will be healthier for you. Wishing you the best!