I never thought burnout was a real thing till now - mini vent

Anonymous

June 28,2022 at 1:20AM UTC

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I never thought burnout was a real thing till now - mini vent

I don’t know if I want anything other than to throw it out in the universe and leave it. I started a project last Fall, it wasn’t scoped well and severely understaffed since it started. I’ve been carrying the load of probably 3 or 4 FTEs. Usually when we do these projects it’s an all hands on deck thing. This time they are trying to save costs and it’s one analyst from each application. I’ve been very outspoken about the stress of the work, but leadership doesn’t care. They rely on the fact that all the people on the project are overachievers and will make the go live successful no matter the cost because they don’t want to fail. It’s a true statement, none of us like to fail, but it’s getting so bad that I even dream/nightmare about work. I wake up, go on my coffee run, work and work till I go to sleep. I’m at my wits end, communication is awful on this project and our customer we are developing the software do not pull their weight so we lead meetings, take notes, develop workflows and have to do all the build. I run meetings for 4 applications. I cry on a daily basis, but I get paid well (probably about 30-50k over average market rate). I’m terrified to take time off because for every day I miss it takes me at least 3 days to get caught up. I feel like I should be thankful to have a job, but also feel like I’m doing a terrible job. I know I’m not doing as well as I normally would and I’m stretched so thin that I would hate being my own customer. My leadership team keeps saying all is fine and we go live in august but I feel miserable.

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AnonymousJune 28,2022 at 3:07AM UTC
Since it doesn't sound like you have any intention of leaving so I think all you can really do is try and take care if yourself. Eat well, try and take little breaks to walk outside. Grab a couple of extra minutes of rest. Try meditation and yoga stretching.
Hang in there for the $ I guess and hope this experience doesn't kill you. Burnout can have some long lasting damage on mind, body and spirit. I guess you can categorize your efforts as not wanting to fail.
AnonymousJune 28,2022 at 2:25PM UTC
I agree with the other commenter. You need to focus on yourself.
In regards to leadership not being concerned by your outreach, have you tried reaching out to HR on this?
AnonymousJune 28,2022 at 6:06PM UTC
No, I don’t think there’s much HR can do. I am meeting with the senior director tomorrow because my direct director is not giving support and dragging his feet. So hopefully it will help.
Erika SpodenJuly 1,2022 at 4:26PM UTC
It sounds to me like your leadership is manipulating all of you overachievers into thinking that working as you have been is normal, and thus if you bring up the overwork concern, you run the risk of looking like a slacker. Well done, leadership- you are running people into the ground.
Your work schedule seems like a nightmare, and you do not need to feel grateful for a job or that your compensation covers the overwork. You are burning out and your work and life quality will suffer, followed by your health. you need to say something to HR at the very least and plan to take some material time off to reevaluate what you want professionally. If that means your team sees you as a slacker, so be it. You'll be a slacker who doesn't have work-related health problems.
Nicole FortuneJuly 1,2022 at 4:26PM UTC
Do not underestimate the power of HR there is always room to bargain and do not underestimate ypur worth in being okay and the value you bring and what it would be worth to keep you able to pull it off. I would take some time to think clearly and ask yourself what are the other areas of your life? I am sure its other people and opportunities that are missing you and care more about your well-being than this current project. If you are not in a good space you can not deliver good results remind them of that fact.
AnonymousJuly 1,2022 at 5:54PM UTC
I am glad you are meeting with your senior director and I hope it works out for you.
This could be me writing the above. statement. I have felt this way for several years. I am 60 and make excellent money as well ( probably about $40 to $60K more the industry salary). I am trying to create boundaries and I have a saying on my monitor and my computer(I work Remote) that says NOT MY PROBLEM. It works sometimes and other times it does not.
I have applied for other internal jobs moving to another area but in all cases they are a band level below where I am. I try to show/demonstrate I am looking to to continue to grow and focus on my skill sets that match what they are looking for in the job interview and job description. I have come in 2nd each time.
I have also spoken with my boss and tried to get agreement on my workload and hiring additional staff. To no avail. I can't go higher as it is the CIO and what we do is not "important to his long term agenda". We are slowly turning into overpaid help desk group instead of a project and growth group that are reflected in our job titles and job descriptions. Interestingly all of us are at he 55 and above age group with the exception of 2 new hires.
I have a lot to offer and I have decided my current employer doesn't care - it is time to look elsewhere. I had my resume reviewed and working on getting it updated and able to be used the the resume reading programs out there. My next step is a career coach. I also have been working with a Psychologist to help me understand how to set boundaries, express myself, and do what I can and how to get over my burnout. It has taken a huge toll on me and I allowed it.
I am glad you are meeting with your senior director and I hope it works out for you.
JC LindquistJuly 2,2022 at 1:34PM UTC
Your burnout is real. Working that many hours on an intense project or job regardless of pay will still crush you. I’ve been there and while I justified the work with the great pay, I ultimately determined the extra money was not worth my health and mental well-being.
This decision did not come easily but I did a hard evaluation on what was driving my desire for the extra $$ and realized much of what drove it was wants, not needs.
If your leadership is telling you all is fine, believe them. Take care of you and understand that you do not have to make up for managements poor decisions on resourcing this project appropriately. Just because you make great money, doesn’t mean you have you destroy yourself for it.
Be well!
Ashley DelBello, Transformational Life+Career+ Purpose CoachJuly 4,2022 at 2:50AM UTC
Your burnout is real (and has long-lasting effects), so please as much as possible take care of yourself first. I get it - I'm a recovering perfectionist and recovering over-achiever that had a very well-paying corporate job, but ultimately I had to quit to take time off to decompress, rest and figure out what I wanted to do next because the burnout was so real and impacting my entire life. And it doesn't just automatically go away with your next job or extended time off, it takes time, rest and lots of self-care, learning to set and uphold boundaries, advocate for yourself, etc.
So glad to hear you're speaking with your Senior Director, I sincerely hope that helps and they either staff appropriately and/or hire more people to help you. But if not remember that you gotta take care of yourself - no job is worth your health (mental, emotional and physical). It's also not your fault or problem that they've severely understaffed the project.