Need advice on how to effectively communicate in a meeting

11 Comments

1. AnonymousSeptember 12,2024 at 4:36PM UTC

   If you are in a group that loves to talk ad nauseum I would not try too hard to make your point verbally. It might fall on deaf ears.

   I would follow with a note articulating your insights and send it out quickly.

2. WandaSeptember 12,2024 at 6:10PM UTC

   I was reading something about this very thing and there was one point - amongst others, that the author brought up that I thought was interesting: try to be the first one to speak. If not the first, maybe the second. You could start off by saying something like, "before we get too far into the meeting, I'd like to share something that I discovered while working on project X" And share or communicate what your ideas or discoveries were? BTW: If you want the link to this online article, please reply and I'll send you the link!!! All the best!

3. AnonymousSeptember 12,2024 at 6:31PM UTC

   Perhaps interject if you can and say something like this, "Not to take up too much of our time here, but I read a really interesting article that pertains to this very thing. I'd like to email it out to you all and see what your thoughts are." A good manager, would say, great idea, and instruct the team to review it and bring thoughts and questions to the next meeting. Your manager should do a better job of controlling the meeting and allowing all to share. IMO.

4. Barb HansenSeptember 12,2024 at 8:05PM UTC

   I’d start by researching the culture of these larger group meetings.

   Are the only people who get heard the ones in leadership roles, while everyone else just listens?

   Is there a breakdown by gender or seniority?

   What’s the corporate culture around "speaking up and being heard" in larger team meetings?

   When women speak, do men interrupt? Or does everyone interrupt?

   Next, I’d observe the people in the meeting who can control the conversation or at least get heard when they speak (assuming it’s not just leadership who talks).

   If there are a few people who speak without being interrupted, I’d learn from what they do—do they just keep talking, or do they keep their comments short?

   Once I had a good sense of the corporate culture in these larger meetings and had identified a few people to learn from, I’d move forward with a plan.

   Side Note: I hate being consistantly interrupted and someone is a serial offender, I just keep talking and while looking that person in the eyes. If that doesn't work (and it's hard to look someone in the eyes on a video call) , then I say "Let me finish" or "Stop interrupting me" (if the person is junior or equal to me) and if that person is senior to me, I'll have a private conversation with them asking them to give me space in meetings to finish my thoughts. I'm pretty senior in my career which gives me the privilege to be very vocal about being interrupted.

5. JB09718September 13,2024 at 1:10AM UTC

   I’ve slightly raised my hand to avoid outright interrupting and/or said something along the lines “when you’ve finished your thought I have one more quick think I want to add” or “I have a few questions on that when you’ve finished” there are polite ways to make it known you want to contribute. You can also take notes and send a follow up email with your thoughts/questions too.

6. ANDREA RAGGAMBISeptember 14,2024 at 12:28PM UTC

   If you’re comfortable with it, can you talk to your boss separately about what you’re observing and ask for help from her? Chances are folks aren’t even aware of their behavior. As the newbie it’s good to observe for a while. But how would you feel about saying something to your boss like ‘It’s been great to be part of these meetings to hear different perspectives but sometimes I would also like to participate and find it challenging to find space to do this without interrupting. Can you help by asking me for my input in meetings where you are present?’

7. AnonymousSeptember 14,2024 at 4:01PM UTC

   I am often in large meetings with creative people who like to talk. People would raise their hands to chime in, arms would get tired, and the arm would end up resting on the owner’s head, resulting in what we now call “the shark” (and if you’re really tired, you’d lean your hand on your forehead, and it becomes “the hammerhead”).

   It’s evolved over the years into a group shorthand, as these things tend to do. Now that we have a lot more virtual meetings, someone will be speaking and will pause for breath, and someone else will say “oh, I have a shark about that when you’re done!” or, “I’d like to shark that” in order to politely let people know you have something to add on to the topic at hand.

   Out of habit, I have used this phrase in other meetings, and it’s pretty a effective way to track who wants to talk, and gives a way for whomever is leading the meeting to bring others into the discussion.

   I might suggest maybe changing the verbiage a bit, though, because the use of “shark” can derail a discussion very quickly, lol.

8. AnonymousSeptember 14,2024 at 4:53PM UTC

   Make a cheat card with some notes to have in front of you when you speak. Stay on topic. Leave room for others to ask questions. Don't ramble. If you live close to where there is a toastmasters club this may help with speaking in public.

9. AnonymousSeptember 17,2024 at 2:07PM UTC

   There may be several things at play here. Your effectiveness as a speaker, the environment and how to navigate it (office politics/culture- especially as a new hire) and your role (the role you have, the role you want, and your trajectory).

   There are lots of places (online or in person or with a coach or mentor) where you can discuss, practice, and get great tips. There are tips on speaking, influence, body language, how to dress, as well as building a 90 day/yearlong plan to establish influence at work. You may also need an ally- other than your boss. Someone who wants to hear what you say or paves a way (before or during the meeting). Have water cooler talk - if you're in person- The work you do before the meeting can make the meeting more useful. Learn however you can (on your own or from a teacher) --for self awareness and self improvement. Some things will be fast to implement. Some, will take time- even a lifetime to develop (especially because they involve other people).

   That said, even if you are at your best, if you're in an environment that doesn't see you or want to see you, or just writhing in its own mess, save yourself from drowning (or doubting your abilities). Learning this insight helps you focus on your next move.

   For your particular situation, do you feel comfortable mentioning this in your 1:1? You could ask for suggestions to speak in larger meetings. See what your boss says. Your boss may have insights (or not). Alternatively, speak up without advice (ask for forgiveness rather than permission).

   Another thing to consider- ask yourself, does your voice and do your ideas give you the influence and leverage needed in this environment. Yes, highlight key topics in bullet note format, be brief, find your moment, and speak...try that for a bit and see if they listen (they may listen, they may not, maybe patience is needed, they may steal your ideas, they may find you refreshing---all new lessons to uncover). They hired you for a reason. Establish yourself.

   Yes, current advice suggests that the best way to get ahead is to be seen (so don't just be a good worker, but be seen- with the right people and on the right projects). That may mean "seen." It may mean "heard." In some environments, you may have the mic and the stage, and in others, you may be the quiet architect behind the scenes.

   Another thing to consider, and I may be controversial here so please take it if it resonates---as you go on your journey of establishing your voice in the workplace (and the world), identify if it comes from a need for approval (or achievement-based success metrics). I offer this because sometimes the need to push may also mean that the environment will push back. Learn to identify that to help you determine what to do and what matters.

   Just know that some challenge/obstacles are fine, esp. if they allow you to grow. If whatever you do is met with more and more pushback, and it feels like you're tapping from a dry well, it is likely that that environment doesn't value you and you'll have to fight to be seen (or acknowledge to exist there means to be invisible).

   Wishing you much success.

10. Celena BartonSeptember 18,2024 at 12:11PM UTC

    Try a visual cue such as raising your hand.

11. GirlBossanova934974September 18,2024 at 1:33PM UTC

    This one is fairly simple. MEETINGS start with an AGENDA with each topic given a time slot. There is your 5 minute time slot. Be prepared. PS: I have to get ready for our team's usual 31 person group WED meeting. We have 23 slides and this week, the Executive Director wants a readout on my slide and some words etc.. Good Luck!