Feel unrecognized and unappreciated by new boss

Anonymous

February 1,2023 at 3:27AM UTC

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Feel unrecognized and unappreciated by new boss

Last year we had several organizational changes. As part of them I have a new boss for a year and a half now and I feel very frustrated with him. I have worked for the company for over 15 years and always had good reputation, and was supported and recognized by my bosses. This is the first time I am dealing with this type of boss. I can hardly find time on his calendar, we meet 1-1 only once a month and sometimes he cancels. I have specifically asked for more time, but he is always busy, calendar full. I update him by email to keep him informed, there is either a short thank you or nothing. I shared my goals, updated him on where I am and really thought I was doing well, worked hard, but the year end rating was average. This is the second year and I am beating my head against the wall.

I like the company and what I do, but I may be forced to leave, it is too frustrating for me. No rapport and really no recognition. What I do is specialized, so not easy to move to another department. Should I leave?

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AnonymousFebruary 1,2023 at 12:57PM UTC
it seems a little like you want your boss to recognize your contributions and strong performance rather than looking for clues about how to change, shift, improve. Look at specific areas where you were average and try to understand what specific actions or outcomes would move that indicator upwards. If things are not that well-defined and undefined soft skills are significant factors, you might not be a good fit with the new supervisor. It could also be that the new boss wants to get a handle on things and see who the true long term, reliable folks are so just made everyone average for the first year. Do some EQ reading, continue to document your successes in a succinct, specific manner, polish your resume, and explore other employment.
AnonymousFebruary 3,2023 at 5:05AM UTC
Seems like a disengaged boss. Does he have other direct reports? Do they have the same frustrations? Maybe talk to them how they deal with the situation? If it is not changing you may consider to leave the company. I could not work with such a boss. Nothing wrong with wanting your hard work to be recognized.
AnonymousFebruary 3,2023 at 5:27PM UTC
After 15 years he might think and have heard from others that you are self sufficient. Clearly that is not working for you. I would ask for a meeting and sit him down and let him know how you work best with a direct manager, ask him for set times that he can commit and let him know that his not keeping those commitments or cancelling last minute makes you feel that your being there does not matter. Let him know that you can take feedback if need be and that you need it in a certain way. Ask him to give you stretch goals or even set goals and then that you want to be measured against them. This will certainly put you on his radar but it will also require you to hit what you ask for. He might be so busy managing up and as a trusted resource who has been there for 15 years is leaving you be. Manage your manager in the way you need it and if it just doesn't work anymore see if there are internal shifts you can make. Don't let his way of managing (non-managing) make you leave a job you love.
ColetteMarch 6,2023 at 10:34PM UTC
I feel for you and have been in this situation before myself. I am a big fan now of skip level meetings. If you have not done one it would be great to get in touch with your boss' boss and start building a relationship there as well.
Sometimes you have to do self promotion and it is not comfortable. I got to the place where I would send the highlights of the quarter to my boss so that he knew what was going on and the contribution.
The last thing I will say is...find joy. Find it in other people, for yourself in your own work, with a hobby etc. This kind of stuff can get under your skin and I bet you have so many other things where you can find fulfilment during this time.
Virtual hug.
Farah BajwaMarch 8,2023 at 7:42PM UTC
I've read your post twice and i feel your frustration is coming from the fact his approach is just different from what you're used to. Taking a step back and keeping in mind that he could be overwhelmed in his new role and sincerely lacks time - has his style affected you negatively in any way? Has his lack of attention resulted in a poor performance review, or missing a promotion, for example? If yes, then maybe try to discuss with HR (and be prepared to show supporting evidence)? If no, then perhaps this just a difference in personality types.