How do you say "No"?

Tomilyn Richards

January 10,2023 at 1:44PM UTC

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How do you say "No"?

I love my job and love helping people and being a go to resource. Many times it piles up though and I find myself in that place where I have said YES one to many times and my plate gets too full.

It is always on my mind to learn to stay in my lane a bit and say no... but it is HARD to say NO. Like really hard sometimes.

In my head I see it as letting someone down, but honestly I know I would be letting someone else down if I wasn't able to complete other work I already had.

How do you manage this? Do you have a method to your madness? Am I alone on this ship??? =)

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AnonymousJanuary 10,2023 at 2:56PM UTC
No you're not alone. You're a people pleaser.
AnonymousJanuary 10,2023 at 3:31PM UTC
You are not alone. The trick is to keep track of what is on your plate, and when the request comes in that would cause it to spill over the edges, politely state that you have a lot that you are working on and ask if they could please find someone else to help them.
If the additional tasks come in as interruptions to your regular schedule (assuming that it is something you have some control over), one basic tenet of time management is to manage your interruptions. A simple "I can't talk right now because I am in the middle of something" can give you an idea of the urgency of the request, and you can take it from there.
I worked at a place where clients rarely had appointments, and most of them dropped in. When a rush of clients occurred, paperwork had to wait and often fell behind or was forgotten, which got us into trouble. We got to the point that we could not take another client until we had finished the required paperwork of the previous client, and that was how we were able to manage the interruptions. I hope these examples helped.
Shanita Taylor BSIS, BSc (Psyc), M.A.E.LJanuary 11,2023 at 1:12AM UTC
That's a management issue. You must find balance and ensure your load is lifted first.
AnonymousJanuary 11,2023 at 4:16AM UTC
You definitely aren't alone. It is easy to do because it feels good.
I really struggled with this for years. For me, I had to acknowledge that to give people my best, I needed to be more selective and take the time up front to share how I do things.
Hilary GrayJanuary 12,2023 at 5:14PM UTC
I always let people know that I am working on a number of projects at the moment so I'm not able to add anything else to my workload. Then if possible, I would suggest an alternative or another person they can ask.
AnonymousJanuary 16,2023 at 6:46PM UTC
If this is chronic why not put a lunch and learn time on your calendar and invite the folks to it that need a helping hand. Maybe once a week? Once a month? Let them know that your calendar is open (put working times on there as DND) and that if they want 15 or 30 minutes an agenda for how you can help is needed.