I am just not sure if I should initiate my own Disability Retirement (DR) with state of CA or let the employer do it, what's the difference?

I am just not sure if I should initiate my own Disability Retirement (DR) with state of CA or let the employer do it, what's the difference?

For the past 11 years, I have served the State of California with integrity and diligence, balancing the demands of public service with the profound responsibility of raising a disabled child as a single parent. My journey has been marked not only by professional advancement but also by persistent systemic barriers rooted in my medical condition, caregiving status, and lack of workplace accommodations.

In 2015, I sustained a work-related injury that altered the trajectory of my career. I navigated FMLA, EDD/SDI, LOAs, IMEs, medical documentation for self and special needs child (and my child's programs), and reasonable accommodation requests, often without the clarity or compassion required by law.

Despite these hardships, I continued to perform my duties while undergoing treatment, managing fluctuating health and parenting needs.

My efforts to comply with state procedures were met with significant administrative errors and institutional pushback:

-Merit salary adjustments were delayed or denied due to medical absences tied to either my injury or my dependent's needs.

-I was subjected to a flawed medical transfer process, where HR misinterpreted documentation and placed me at a disadvantage after I had already passed probation 4 years prior they wanted me to be on probabtion in a new program area and classification! I left the department after 5 years of hell (when you're going through work injuries and special needs parenting and navigating state, medical, and community program/entities it's not easy to leave).

-Prior to leaving, despite meeting the requirements for a promotion, I was denied advancement without clear justification (why hire someone who needs RA when you can hire/promote someone without barriers "based on merit")?

-Multiple attorneys declined to take my case, citing the complexity of suing the State, leaving me without recourse despite clear patterns of discrimination, etc.

-The burden of proof falls entirely on the victim, requiring union involvement and numerous communications with DFEH, EEOC, and EEO. However, all three agencies have been largely unresponsive due to severe backlogs or systemic apathy. Reporting has yielded no meaningful resolution, and the burden has remained on me as the employee to defend rights that should have been protected automatically.

-I have also reached out to Disability Rights California as a last resort, seeking protection and enforcement of my rights, given the ongoing retaliation and emotional toll which at this point I think it's evident in most State agencies, that aren't accustomed to working with disabled individuals (having a LEAP program doesn't eradicate ablism or discrimination, etc)

I have been in about 4 state Agencies. I've seen nothing but the same thing repeat itself, just with different people/names. After leaving the initial department and transferring to a new department in search of professional stability, I continually maintained a toxic work environment (new department) within the State of CA. At one department, a (new but) toxic workplace began to emerge where:

*None of the staff got along (red-flag)

**There were no proceccess in place

***Micro-aggressions; A coworker (later promoted to my supervisor) tried to blur personal and professional boundaries, and didn't like that i didn't want to be "chummy" in the workplace. Her insecurities resulted in targeted workplace bullying and exclusion, contributing to my psychological distress.

****Yet in subsequent roles: I was worked out of class without acknowledgment or compensation.

*****I held part-time position but was given regularly given full-time workloads, worsening my chronic pain and mental fatigue.

Overall, throughout these periods, I faced a pattern of:

Being denied promotional opportunities, despite meeting or exceeding qualifications. Having to self-advocate across multiple departments, without adequate support. Being retraumatized by the State’s failure to protect workers with disabilities.

I am sorry for anyone that has dealt with similar.

I am now at the point where Disability Retirement (CalPERS DR) is no longer optional, but necessary — not because I lack the skill or will to work, but because the State has failed to provide the legal protections and structural support required under law.

I am just not sure if I should initiate my own DR or let the employer do it, what's the difference? Has anyone disability retired and then come back to work as a retired annuitant or reinstated fully?

Many say find a lawyer (but even that's rigged);

I am sure many stories are similar... I am not hear to complain but I am aware I've gone through work-trauma. I look forward to moving forward without workplace stress. Having programs and learning to navigate the disability system is crucial! A saving grace (esp with the cost of living); I understand it's particularly hard for persons of color (especially to promote), I don't know how single persons with child(ren) and disabilities, while caregiving for disabled dependent(s) can do it, because I've barely been able to without fierce opposition, persecution, and discrimination.

Thanks.