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I work for a start-up and the funder is a distant relative.

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Anonymous

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I work for a start-up and the funder is a distant relative. They are also a micromanager and very demeaning. My title is COO. When there are revenue problems and I say "we need to come up with a plan", they say I'm the COO so I should have a plan. When I present a plan, the CEO changes it. It's clear the CEO has no respect for me, micromanaging technology (which ours is crappy) even though it's in my job description. The areas in their job description have been woefully late and full of false starts. I presented a low cost high reward process to them, not asking for permission but just as an FYI, and they vetoed it. They tried to make it work a different route, but since they are not a SME, I had to educate them first. After concluding that route wouldn't work as well as my proposal, they went a third direction. The hard dollar cost was under $200 and the labor cost for any other route is significant. I want to quit. They are proposing a very nice person with minimal qualifications for an expanded role which would replace me next year, my stated retirement. My husband says my first reaction in these situations is to feel disrespected and want to quit. He's right. He thinks I should try to work it out. I'm able to retire now. This was going to be my last job and it's in the helper field, so altruistically, I was hoping for so much more. Thoughts?

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  1. Anonymous

    Typical startup. You are confused. You work in chaos and that's very startup not a traditional mature company that follows common accepted titles, roles and responsibilities and lines of authority.

    Yes it's a mess and unproductive and ego driven at times but if you truly want to make an impact and show your distant relative that your effort and aim were true then stop drawing these lines of effort and assessment of expertise. You will look foolish.

    Instead help to ease tensions and support your CEO and their mission wherever possible and pick your battles understanding you will "win" very few. It's not personal it's just the nature of the beast. Give up the finger pointing and support the overall effort instead. Yes, I know it's hard, but it takes a special kind of leadership to navigate startups. That is why so many fail. I have worked at 5 startups and what you've described is reminiscent of each one. It's not work for the faint at heart.

    So accept this situation as it truly is and keep things professional not personal. Or just throw in the towel and retire. Let someone else help wherever they can.

  2. Barb Hansen

    What stage is the startup in? You mentioned a “funder,” which might have been a typo for “founder,” but if there really is a separate funder, that would usually place the company in its angel or seed round.

    If that’s the case, it’s very common for roles to be blurry and for everyone to be in everyone else’s business. Many early-stage startups are built by committee, and well-defined lanes often don’t exist yet.

    If the CEO is also the founder (which I’m assuming is correct), it’s normal for them to be involved in all decisions, especially anything tied to revenue. In startups, revenue is king, and founders tend to keep a tight grip on it.

    I lead product at a post-seed stage tech startup, and both co-founders are in my work every week. I’ve learned how to maintain control while giving them the long leash they both want and, at this stage, rightfully feel entitled to.

    As a company grows from pre-revenue to revenue, and from angel to later rounds, structure usually starts to form. The trick is building that structure on shifting sands and surviving until the ground solidifies. Sometimes letting go of the feeling of ownership helps.

    If you have stock options, I’d suggest holding on until they vest—no point in walking away before you can realize their full benefit.

    The idea that someone with minimal qualifications could be lined up to replace you as COO—a fiduciary, senior executive role—is the part that jumps out as a major red flag, although many a startup has hired under qualified people for C-Suite roles.

  3. Anonymous

    C'mon at this point in your career manage them the way your C title would have it be done! Give them option A and option B instead of your firm plan and make your firm plan be somewhere in the middle of both extremes. Then bake out a timeline and costs for both and have yours be in the middle. That is the surest way to get them to go your way. Drop your ego from the situation and coast till retirement. On the way out the door provide a handbook for the how to's for the newbie they want to bring in to do the tactical things once you exit. Mission accomplished. Put your feet up, drink a cocktail and celebrate why you retired with your husband. You cannot make a pig smell good when you know its a pig but you sure can work with a pig until the last needed day...you get me? Now stop the whine and drink the wine!

  4. Angela Mosteller

    Hello! How frustrating!

    You’re in a tough spot—your authority as COO is undermined, your expertise dismissed, and now the CEO is eyeing a replacement. It’s natural to feel disrespected and want to leave. The decision is really whether you want to fight for influence in this final role or step into retirement with peace and dignity.

    The good news is you have another option: redirect your COO expertise into consulting on your own terms. That could be your love project after retirement—using your experience to help others without the micromanagement and frustration.

    A final thought; if you choose to continue, you may consider doing so without expectations other than your own to provide your best guidance. It really is up to the CEO to decide, and poor decisions rest solely on their shoulders. You did your best.

    Well wishes,

    Angela

  5. Anonymous

    Um...you aren't the COO if no one respects you or implements any of your ideas....

  6. Anonymous

    Update: I'm the OP. I decided to leave after a critical milestone is attained next week. I appreciate all the advice and suggestions. Since deciding to leave, I've had some distance and perspective. In meetings where the CEO is present, I feel glad the end is in sight. The things that move forward in the right direction are the things where the CEO is not involved. Your advice was so appreciated and even though my career is sunsetting, I'm sure I'll have opportunities to share what you've taught me. Thank You!

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