I have decided to leave the company I’ve worked for over 20 years.

23 Comments

1. Chardia Christophe-GarciaJuly 18,2022 at 1:20PM UTC

   Good Morning,
   First off it may not seem like it but this is so normal and there's absolutely a way to overcome. For starters, you have to remember who you are! You managed to stay at a company for 20 years, THAT'S HUGE! Clearly you were doing something right because they could have easily fired you and brought someone else in. Today I challenge you to make a list of all the business things you're good at based on your previous roll (Time management, organization, team player etc.). Then do something that helps you feel your best. Often when I feel defeated I force myself to get a mani/pedi or my hair done. Sounds silly but when I look my best it helps my confidence and allows me to feel my best (it's all connected). Then when you have your list of skills in hand and you're feeling good, you make a to do list for the week. Set attainable goals to start. So focus on things like, updating your resume (or hiring a consultant to help). Also, maybe take some online courses to help you get better on some of the areas you may struggle in. Do this for 2 weeks. After 2 weeks, start applying and set yourself a minimum of 3-5 jobs a week. Focus on jobs that your resume compliments. Start there and I'm sure you'll be in such a grove you'll find a new job and your confidence up in no time. Good luck!

2. Cynthia Jones 1128July 18,2022 at 1:45PM UTC

   Love these ideas. I'm in a similar position as the original poster. I think I've found my roadmap for the next few weeks.

3. AnonymousJuly 18,2022 at 7:20PM UTC

   I also wanted to toss in this article which is as true today as it was several years ago. Women have a tendency to apply for jobs when we fit 100% of the requirements and men 60%. Go for it!

   https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/men-apply-job-when-meet-only-60-qualifications-women-100-mei-ibrahim/

4. AnonymousJuly 18,2022 at 2:19PM UTC

   There are do many resources to help you hone your interview skills. Look online for great blogs and YouTube videos. Also set up some practice sessions with friends and former colleagues to help you get your confidence up.

   Finally take a look at blogs addressing confidence and overcoming anxiety. It may take some time but with a string resume (which will do wonders to see your accomplishments in black and white) along with some work on yourself and confidence you will do just fine.

5. AnonymousJuly 18,2022 at 2:40PM UTC

   There's a quote that I have found to be part of my toolkit as I go through the job search.

   "stop shrinking to fit in places you've already outgrown."

   Congrats on leaving and I am sorry that this has taken such a toll on your self-confidence. I would contact your local workforce center because there are tons of Free assessments that can help you focus on your next move. One I like is https://www.onetonline.org/.

   Self-care! It's SO important so please take the time to take care of you while you're in this transition. I love my spin bike and my friends who have been great anchors. Be well and I hope this will be a time of self-discovery as you reawaken.

6. Sabrina CortesJuly 18,2022 at 8:04PM UTC

   I'm so sorry that you're going through this; you are stronger than you know! Do you know why I'm saying that? Because it takes strength to walk away from a toxic situation. :)) I used to work in a bad environment - favoritism was rampant and the clicks were so bad (I was not included in either) - issues were never addressed, so appropriate changes weren't made and we were all overworked! So, I understand some of what you're experiencing.

   For the next week or so, allow yourself to be with your emotions and process them, then start focusing on rebuilding yourself and "your brand."

   Here are a couple of articles I found that might help you.

   ~~ https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-build-maintain-your-confidence-during-job-search-andrew-seaman/

   ~~ https://www.avenircareers.com/career-advice/2019/be-kind-to-yourself-during-your-job-search

   There are many free courses that you could take too! Here's a site to help you get started if you'd like to - https://www.edx.org/.

   Also, I'm a professional Resume Writer and when you're ready, I'd love to offer you a free resume review! I'll give you sound feedback and resume tips. Feel to connect here and email me at sabrina@writewithsabrina.com.

   I hope this helps!

   Sending you positive vibes!

7. Maegan, Nike Sales Rep & Career CoachJuly 19,2022 at 12:28PM UTC

   Hey anonymous! Managers can have such a negative or positive effect on our self-confidence. I know this from experience! I can 100% help you with overcoming this by helping you get really good at understanding your VALUE as a professional and knowing what you're worth - so you start showing up as the confident & capable professional you are deep down that isn't afraid to put herself out there, speak up in meetings, and even negotiate a salary offer. Here's my link for a free call , either way you'll learn about what its like if we were to work together and leave with a simple plan of 3 things you can start doing NOW to boost your self confidence and get a new job at the next level!

   Look forward to hearing from you !! https://maeganmillercoaching.as.me/consultcall

8. AnonymousJuly 19,2022 at 12:29PM UTC

   Imposter syndrome is very normal but we can't let our fear consume and paralyze us to stay in a toxic environment. First, congratulations on making the decision to leave, as that is the most difficult step. Second, another response was to list your skills in which you have applied in your current role(s). Many times the skills are transferable. Third, list what is important to you within your next organization and role, as this will be paramount in your search for what is right for you. Lastly, as another responder said, don't be afraid to go for it! We may not check all of the boxes all of the time but many times we can and will learn. Good luck and again, congratulations!

9. AnonymousJuly 19,2022 at 12:32PM UTC

   I’m so sorry you are going through this. I can relate as my last boss at the company I was at over 25 yrs did the same so I left. In fact, I found out later that many many who had reported to him prior to me had gone through the same thing and no one did anything about it. Don’t be silent and don’t assume it will get better under him, sadly. You will get your confidence back but you may need to step away in order to do it. That’s what I had to do. Hang in there! The pattern will continue if you don’t report how he treats you.

10. AnonymousJuly 19,2022 at 12:36PM UTC

    I totally understand, I am also going thru the same stuff at my job of 12 years. I have not left because of my age and I'm afraid I will not get another job. The click in this department is so obvious that only the ones part of it get promoted. There is a huge division between management and the staff and NO communication. The sad thing is that this company is great, benefits are awesome but there is a disconnect between the company's vision and our department. I will take the time to read the articles below, put myself together and work on my low self-esteem.

11. AnonymousJuly 19,2022 at 1:28PM UTC

    I can empathize, but to encourage you, I was laid off at 57 and had a lot of trouble finding work. Then again at 59 and since I had more confidence, I had 15 interviews and was offered two jobs two weeks a part. The first one I took right away, and then I was offered another that I had interviewed previously. Feeling the other was the best fit, I decided to quit the first and do the second and I'm very happy in my position now. It doesn't matter the age, you should always be respected and there are still opportunities available for all. Especially now they are looking for good workers.

12. Elise PilkingtonJuly 19,2022 at 1:05PM UTC

    I had a boss like this (well, she tried, anyway). I suggest spending some time writing down your accomplishments on the job. You can go back the entire 20 years but focus on the last five. Be sure to include measurable data. Review the list often and keep adding to it. This will be very helpful when putting together your resume and interviewing.

13. Donna LaPointeJuly 19,2022 at 9:17PM UTC

    Also include courses and certifications you've completed in the last 5 years. This is very important to communicate you've updated your skills while you were at the same company for 20 years.

14. AnonymousJuly 19,2022 at 1:05PM UTC

    First I am sooo sorry you are going through this.

    Secondly I have been in your position. With a company 14 years (promoted 3 times) and my boss retired. Hired 1 person to replace her who last a little over a year. Then they hired a person who was passive aggressive, had no clue what the job entailed and attempted to push all of their work onto myself and coworkers. When I left there was only one person left who had more experience than me and they were only staying because they had 2 years until retirement. I was SUPER nervous even trying to leave because I work in a sector where everyone knows everyone. I heard my boss at the time give a horrible recommendation to a perspective employer for coworker who already had left. Imposter syndrome is real but you I would tell you to think back on all you have accomplished and all the times you had to deal with something tough. You made it through those things. You can make it through this! When I left I got a better job, better pay, a more flexible schedule, a very understanding boss. Stop thinking about all the things that could go wrong and imagine what could go right. You deserve to have peace. It may take time but you can do it!

    Good luck!

15. AnonymousJuly 19,2022 at 1:49PM UTC

    Congratulations on finding the courage to leave this job!

    Nothing is worse than having to face an awful boss who clearly suffocates your self confidence. Unfortunately this

    manager does not believe in supporting and encouraging their employees to flourish as part of a team. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF and look elsewhere for a job. If you have worked there for 20 years you've brought YOUR talents, skills and creativity to BENEFIT the organization. It's time for another organization to welcome your well-earned skills! I wish you the best of luck...

16. Joann S. LublinJuly 19,2022 at 2:03PM UTC

    I totally agree with suggestions you received from other commentators. Here's one more: Gather testimonials from trusted members of your professional network and use those endorsements as fodder for building your list of accomplishments -- as well as to share with potential employers.

    For additional guidance about overcoming imposter syndrome, please read my first book about female business leaders, entitled "Earning It: Hard-Won Lessons from Trailblazing Women at the Top of the Business World."

    Best of luck!

17. Afo Ogbeyalu KaluJuly 19,2022 at 2:41PM UTC

    I suggest identifying positions which you feel are either a good match for the type of work you are currently doing, or which are in line with your projected career trajectory. Then, thoughtfully analyze the job postings' bullet points, and correlate them with your work/projects/achievements. Right there in black and white is the reaffirmation of your value. You'd be surprised how confidence-boosting typing/writing out one's achievements can be!

18. Bosslady626650July 19,2022 at 5:40PM UTC

    Other commenters here have given you some great strategies for getting out there, but as someone who worked in an abusive, denigrating company for 13 years before escaping, I have this advice: give up on the idea of being ready to escape, you’ll never be ready.

    That sounds harsh, but what you need to know is that regaining confidence in your own worth takes time and freedom from abuse, which you can not get where you are. Get out and your conference will grow, because you know that you have worth despite what you are being told.

    This is the exact moment, and possibly the only moment, where “fake it till you make it” should really apply. Fake your confidence and find freedom. If you’re lucky you will get a position with a company that helps you grow. If you’re unlucky and end up in another not great/horrible workplace, don’t panic, because you know now that you can find another place so you have proven that you have skills and attitudes that employers desire, so you have worth.

    Despite common wisdom you don’t have to be confident to get a job, you just need to put the time and effort into applying. Confidence comes from success, success comes from trial and error.

    So as a success in overcoming this same issue I can say: I have confidence that if you go out and do you definitely will overcome it too.

    Good luck, God bless!

19. Lara Ivey KauchakJuly 20,2022 at 3:50PM UTC

    First, good luck! Its really scary, but also super exciting! You will likely find that after a few interviews, you actually know a lot more than you give yourself credit for. Loyalty alone hasn't kept you at the same company - you must be really good at what you do!

    Also, take some time and research how much you are worth in the market. If you've been at the same company for 20 years and have been getting 3% increases each year, its likely that you are significantly underpaid.

20. Kimberly KohlerJuly 20,2022 at 4:07PM UTC

    Just a word of support that you can do this. I left my former employer after 23 years and was having similar self confidence issues. That made it especially hard to get my resume up to date. I assume you've held different jobs or successive titles and/or worked on many projects in you 20 years there. Try writing out one or two quantifiable accomplishments from each phase of you career. That, and hiring a resume writer helped me get over the taboo of "bragging" about myself and gave me a self confidence boost. Even then, I doubted myself until I started to get interviews where I could just be myself and realize I had a lot to offer.

    If you can manage it *when* you land a new job, give yourself at least a week off after leaving the old place to let it sink in and shake the parts of the company that made you leave out of your system. A friend gave me that tip from her similar situation once I confided I was thinking of moving on. I'm so glad I followed that suggestion.

21. AnonymousJuly 20,2022 at 10:13PM UTC

    I understand completely what you're going through. I left my job after 17 years. I'm learning to be patient with myself.

22. AnonymousJuly 21,2022 at 1:07AM UTC

    I did the same after 17 years. My health instantly improved.

23. Robyn McCabria KelsoJuly 21,2022 at 12:57PM UTC

    I left a job after 18 plus years as it became clear they did not think I was worthy of promotion. While I still have some regrets over that, I would not be where I am today without leaving. I might add it seems to be easier to find a job while you are still employed, if you can manage that.