I am a "teachers pet" of a Toxic Boss

Anonymous

April 14,2022 at 9:33AM UTC

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I am a "teachers pet" of a Toxic Boss

I have been working in this sales position for about 15 months, and my Manager started 7 months later.

I love my job and the people I work with, but my Manager is destroying our team. He uses demoralizing tactics, bashes team members to their peers, commands time at all hours of the day, pouts and/or becomes angry if people don't agree with him, and truly does not know what the basics of our responsibilities are. Although he is only 58, he thinks that old school intimidation, and a "suck it up" attitude will motivate the team. I happen to perform well consistently, and for some reason, he trusts me, so he leaves me alone.

I am at a crossroads of how to handle this. Should I leave it alone and let him

deal with the consequences, taking the risk of losing my team, or talk directly to him about my concerns and hope he will listen? My husband and I have two very different trains of thought on this.

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AnonymousApril 14,2022 at 10:04AM UTC
Not your responsibility to fix this boss and restore balance to the workplace. Plus, at his age nothing will change unless he’s truly open and receptive to this kind of feedback. You’re simply not on deck to run interference for the rest of the team. If you otherwise like the role, I’d keep my head down.
AnonymousApril 14,2022 at 12:03PM UTC
If you are not in a position over your team then you do not have the level of responsibility/authority to force change in management style.
But if you think it's worth getting on the manager's bad side, you can try a one on one subtle discussion. You can share some suggestions on possible shifts in approach but be careful. This guy sounds like he keeps grudges and might turn on you or see your efforts on behalf of the team as insubordination. That will leave you in a bad place and looking for a,new job.
AnonymousApril 14,2022 at 12:49PM UTC
I was in this EXACT situation. If you hadn't said sales, I'd suspected you worked for my old manager. :)
I tried to stick up for my colleagues because I had the trust of my manager. It got so bad and eventually directed to me also. Berating me in front of my colleagues, talking behind people's backs, etc. I ended up discussing the situation with his manager and his manager decided the behavior was worthy of a discussion with HR. It corrected the situation as he ended up leaving.
In hindsight, perhaps it wasn't my place to "fix" the situation but I feel a strong sense of ownership of team success. BUT, I hate that women are frequently the ones that have to leave jobs or colleagues they like because of a bad manager. I really don't think addressing him directly will work long term. Do you have a chance to voice concerns with another manager or HR? Truly sorry you're dealing with this.