Any advice on dealing with a coworker in another department who thinks it's her way or the highway?

14 Comments

1. Dr. Patty GrossFebruary 1,2026 at 5:06PM UTC

   If she is on her way out anyway, continue counting the days. In the meantime, continue documenting in case you need it and standing down. This behavior is uncalled for, regardless of what prompted the outburst. Do you know whether she is retiring voluntarily or being forced out? If this is new behavior, she may be having some severe anxiety about the upcoming change in her life. Stay focused on your own behaviors and try not to make things any worse than they already are. I know it's hard sometimes, but remember that the one who retaliates is generally the one who ends up in trouble. Hang in there, and count those days.

2. AnonymousFebruary 1,2026 at 5:25PM UTC

   I sure hope you also brought HR and the Director into the conversation as well. If there is a code of ethics that she is crossing over make a big deal about it if it happens again. Use the words hostile workplace and unsafe environment when you speak to highers up.

   As for the co-worker, you can be the bigger person and try to sit her down in a neutral place over coffee and ask how you can both (even though its only her) show mutual respect for each other even when things don't align. See what her response is. If she says she is always respectful, let her know what is not acceptable for you and let her know that you will walk away from her and bring highers up into the conversation should things fire up again. You are putting her on notice but also letting her know that the 2-ways street of respect will flow kindness from your side. That might disarm her, hopefully so.

3. AnonymousFebruary 2,2026 at 4:51PM UTC

   Tried that! Bought her a plant for her desk and told her to remember we are on the same team. Didn’t work:)

4. AnonymousFebruary 6,2026 at 5:39PM UTC

   OP above: Keep trying but do it with actions and conversation and while I don't suggest forcing a relationship show her kindness always and hopefully that softens her craggy exterior. You keep being the awesome you!

5. AnonymousFebruary 2,2026 at 4:14PM UTC

   Unacceptable! Please document and share with your supervisor and HR. She is abusive and has created a hostile working environment. What a miserable B.....

6. GirlBossanova934974February 2,2026 at 4:38PM UTC

   When I read the part about the paper clips, I had to think of the movie, "Office Space".

   Tom Smykowski: Well--well look. I already told you: I deal with the **&@ customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people. Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?

   That being said, you are dealing with what we used to call a "SHORT TIMER". The Short Timer really does not care what they do or don't do. They have already checked out. It is not their way or the highway. It is just they don't give a hoot and are just counting the days until their departure.

   I would just leave it at that. If it were me, I wouldn't say much. Stay professional and focus on other far more pleasant things.

7. AnonymousFebruary 2,2026 at 7:17PM UTC

   As a couple of others have said, take the high road, remain professional and document all of your conversations. If it gets worse, tell your boss and HR that "The hostile environment is making me feel unsafe. To ensure the protection of all employees, her behavior should be documented."

8. AnonymousFebruary 4,2026 at 3:06AM UTC

   Gotta agree with others, only in part. Yes, keep documenting these outbursts and non-professional behavior, but set clear, no-nonsense boundaries. Next time, tell her directly but professionally “I do not appreciate the tone of your voice in speaking with me. Kindly refrain or future communications will only be done via email.” Taking the high road without appropriate, professional boundaries only gets you used as a punching bag. She continues this atrocious behavior because it’s not being nipped in the bud. It’s neither your business nor your concern what’s going on in her life either personally or professionally. Use I words, be professional, but make no bones about it. She’ll back off.

9. AnonymousFebruary 6,2026 at 10:31PM UTC

   I am glad she's in a different department! Absolutely document everything. She is likely trying to provoke you/get an angry reaction. Stay calm but firm. You could say something like "I treat everyone in this workplace with respect and I expect the same." Keep doing your work to the best of your ability, using whatever paperclips are handy. If she gets out of control, call security, HR, and/or her supervisor and have them escort her out of the room.

10. Liza SivekFebruary 10,2026 at 12:57AM UTC

    "Using whatever paper clips are handy". Exactly that.

11. AnonymousFebruary 8,2026 at 1:12PM UTC

    I have the exact same thing at my job; I'm also dealing with the same crap. My advice to you would be to ignore it and do your job. And because the coworker works at a different department than you, document everything. Try to ignore it.

12. AnonymousFebruary 8,2026 at 1:19PM UTC

    Apparently insanity has become the new norm. I've been a teacher for over 20 years and I currently work at a school where employees act like they're in junior high. I enjoy teaching but the employees are immature. Gossip, cliques, jealously and division are getting worse. The toxicity is becoming worse. For those of you who are dealing with these issues we are stronger when we chose to ignore the negativity in the workplace. I work with all women who are immature.

13. AnonymousFebruary 9,2026 at 2:40PM UTC

    Beyond what you're doing right now, which is documenting when she's gone ballistic and advocating for yourself in setting boundaries with her about how you'd want to be treated, I'm hard-pressed to think of anything you should do differently. I would say to continue being mindful of what you can control, which is you. You're not responsible for a grown woman that chooses to act like an immature child, who, by the way, is only intensifying her antics because she's aware, that her days are numbered. Be encouraged and keep doing "your job" in a professional manner. You'll get through this.

14. AnonymousFebruary 10,2026 at 2:37PM UTC

    I am sorry you are dealing with this. By what you describe its likely she is terrorizing the rest of the company and you are not alone in counting down until she retires. It sounds like you are handling it the best you can. Continue to take the high road and remember it not you. Its her.