Perform well but manager doesn't like me.

Perform well but manager doesn't like me

I've been at this job for 2 years and I still feel like an outsider. This company has a history of biases and negative culture. Last year during my weekly status meeting, a developer yelled at me and called me dismissive ( he has done this 2 or 3 times before). I did not react, I just went on with the meeting. I went to my manager and said my feelings were hurt and that he did nothing to resolve the issue to improve team communications, manager just called it he said/she said (even thought he was present during that meeting). Apparently someone on the call reported the incident to HR. Then 3 weeks later my manager is putting me on a growth plan (not a PIP, but it smelled like it)

I am a product manager, and every product I launch, this developer gets all the praise. We even had a team workshop day and he used the dev's picture as the screensaver and this developer led a talk on communication. My manager doesn't include me in any meetings or assign projects. When I ask what can I do he says nothing. I presented to the CEO (my skip manager set it up). And my manager was upset he wasn't part of the meeting and critiqued my communications. I said your manager & his assistant set up everything. I get kudos outside my team but internally I feel like a non factor and even a failure. I run the BIPOC ERG and not once did i get a kudos for successful events.

A new CEO recently was appointed so I was hoping for new changes but I feel like whats the point. I have a bad taste in my mouth for this company. (many people left due to the culture) Do I stay or do I go?

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9 Comments

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  1. Barb Hansen

    If I was in a similar situation, I would start looking for a new position. I would stay in my current role until I secured a new role, and I would view my job as a pay check only and stop expecting any support from my manager.

    I would have a private conversation with the developer to tell them not to yell, raise their voice or talk to me in a demeening tone again but that conversation can be hard to have so you could just ignore their behavior instead of confronting it.

    As a product person, I feel your pain. I've had roles earlier in my career where my work was seen as "a job that anyone can do" or "the development team can just do that work" or "you're just a junior project manager/admin/business analyst so why shouldn't the developers get all the praise." I decided to not fight to change the mentality of those types of managers or companies, I choose to find roles where with companies that either valued or appeared to value what strong product people bring.

  2. Anonymous

    thank you so much for your thorough response. I agree I do not want to fight to change the mentality.

  3. Anonymous

    Choose your battles but don't go to war when there is no clear path for your success. No one is rooting for you there.

  4. Anonymous

    Thank you, I think this sums it up

  5. Anonymous

    Sounds like you have run your course there and it’s time to move on. Consider connecting to an IT staffing firm and work contracts. Great pay, benefits and low commitment. I hired IT folks and it was a great gig. If you step out of your comfort zone you may find something better on the other side.

  6. Anonymous

    One word: Go.

  7. Anonymous

    If your manager shrugged off what they witnessed they didn’t do their due diligence. You can’t change it but you can change where you give your time. Leave soon if you can.

  8. Anonymous

    As the person running the BIPOC ERG I would strongly suggest you set up a meeting with the new CEO. Mark it private or take them to coffee and be sure that you do it under the radar. Let them know about your commitment to the company and doing good work but additionally let them know about some of the issues that live internally. Don't name names but do name situations and the retaliation that you suffered because you spoke out. See how they react and let them know you are there to help make the company great and to be a part of shifting the culture which is making folks move on. Give it 60 days, be open to changing jobs and see how it goes. You cannot live in the shadows of those who insist on making it toxic for you and discount your credibility internally. As a product manager (owner?) you should be driving the engineering folks to produce the product you can stand behind and not fail with. If your product is a high revenue one use that in your conversation with the CEO and show them how your impact made it better and more profitable. Suggest as well to them that they meet with others who may factor into his opinion of the culture. Good luck, but do stand up for yourself and when and if someone ever mistreats you in a meeting simply stand up and walk out. That sends a clear and strong message that you won't be tolerant of that.

  9. Anonymous

    The company is small so there are no other product teams to move to. We are the only one. Unless I do a career shift into producing (its also a regional tv network)

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