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My husband just lost his job…again.

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Anonymous

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My husband just lost his job…again. He repeatedly oversells himself to get a higher status and salary but despite working hard, he doesn’t have the technical or interpersonal skills necessary. He is not a loafer and will try hard to contribute and find another job but it will happen again. He needs to uncover why this keeps happening. It has something to do with trying to cover up his inadequacies and not being up front about his skills. Does anyone know a good career coach that can do that deeper work to help him stop doing the things that shoot himself in the foot?

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  1. Anonymous

    Not to sound harsh, but seems like there’s some codependence going on. He’s a grown man and can solve his own problems. Focus on taking care of yourself.

  2. Anonymous

    I suspect she is trying to take care of herself, since her husband contially losing jobs and not having a reliable income would impact her as well. Very hard to plan your life or bills. It is also emotionally exhausting to have someone you are living with continually ramping up for a job then crashing when they lose it. I can understand why she is asking for help, especially if she wants the relationship to last.

  3. Anonymous

    I appreciate you bringing this up and certainly we have had this dynamic in the past. I’m asking if anyone knows an excellent career coach because we both had worked with an amazing coach who passed away suddenly and neither of us has found anyone nearly as good. I thought I’d put it out here. He already has started therapy and talking with another coach, plus applying for jobs, so he is in action. But I am thinking about your question and wondering whether it is codependent to have done that. I did finally sign up for therapy today because I’m also feeling very disconnected from him.

  4. Katelyn Richards

    Sounds like undiagnosed ADHD to me as this is a common pattern as the excitement of a new job makes them seem overzealous and passionate, but after 3-6 months the “new job” energy wears off and they seem to slack, maybe making them get sacked. It’s a very common story, especially for individuals that never got diagnosed. Please have him look into it, it may explain a lot for him and be helpful.

  5. Anonymous

    Genuine question: if he hasn’t tried to learn the skills he needs to bring truth to his resume, would a career coach help at all?

    I only ask because it seems to be a pattern, and he already doesn’t seem to realize that he is the center of it. Or if he does, he doesn’t seem to care, otherwise he’d be the one trying to fix it, not you (though I understand being a supportive spouse).

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