How to show appreciation without inflaming jealousy?

31 Comments

1. Kate BonDurant, PMPSeptember 11,2020 at 10:53PM UTC

   Start by acknowledging their success. Don't avoid rewarding good work for fear of lazy employees.
   Inform team B directly so that it's a shared celebration. Strong cultures reward each others wins. Asking them how you can help them remove roadblocks so they can complete their work.

   If team B complains, spek plainly and explain when they finish their project, you all will celebrate as well. Keep it positive which I know can be very challenging but will crucial in preventing additional damage.
   The keys are to be transparent, positive, and patient.
   If team B wants to complain deflect the focus back onto them by asking questions. This is something I've seen success with in countless HR interventions. Instead of making statements ("your work isn't done") you can ask "why do you feel you deserve a reward?"
   Lastly if they have a history of complaining up (to your boss or someone who influences you) then you might want to share your plan with them. This is entirely situational and depends on everyone's relationships and habits.
   Good luck!

2. Sharline LiuSeptember 14,2020 at 3:54AM UTC

   LOVED the point you made, Kate, about addressing "Why" they feel they deserve a reward. Entitlement is a delicate thing to knock down (without knee-jerk defensive responses), but I've seen people address it successfully.

   Haven't read the book yet, but it's on my list: "The Entitlement Cure: Finding Success in Doing Hard Things the Right Way." It's from a faith POV (same co-author Dr. John Townsend of best-selling "Boundaries"), so I'd be curious if there are approaches in that teaching that allow people to take an honest look at themselves, without feeling judged -- more from aspirational POV (?).

3. AnonymousSeptember 12,2020 at 4:23PM UTC

   Why don't you challenge team B to complete projects? Maybe not at the same scope as A if they don't have the skillset.

4. AnonymousSeptember 12,2020 at 6:25PM UTC

   Under normal circumstances that would work, these particular employees are not willing to do much and are grandfathered in under the leadership. They are essentially coasting to retirement but are part of the “everybody gets a trophy” mentality. They will not meet project goals, we already tried that. Unfortunately they cannot be fired either.

5. AnonymousSeptember 12,2020 at 6:44PM UTC

   If I were part of Team A I would be upset as well. This is unfair and all of us can't "Coast" to retirement. In fact, we will probably be working until death!

   Don't be surprised if people from Team A begin to leave when the economy gets better. I have been in the same work environment in a Team A situation and the people in team b were brats. I got tired of it and left.

6. AnonymousSeptember 12,2020 at 9:38PM UTC

   Well I am one of the people trying to leave too! I feel
   resentment towards my lazy employees but the darn pandemic is killing my mojo! In all seriousness this is why I want to do something for team A so they know I see their hard work even if the company and senior leaders won’t acknowledge it. We actually have a policy against individual recognition. And yes again, I am job hunting but I want to be a good boss while I can.

7. AnonymousSeptember 13,2020 at 2:04PM UTC

   If these people are just coasting until retirement, I wouldn't worry about upsetting them. They aren't doing work at the same level as Team A, and they refuse to meet any kind of goals. They should be lucky they are in their current position. Many people would love to be grandfathered in and not have to worry about losing their jobs.

8. PrichardsSeptember 13,2020 at 2:59PM UTC

   Good observation, the challenge might be that Team B has a direct line to the CEO.

   Is part of the challenge that Team A is understaffed and Team B is comfortably staffed? Could you move some B to A - or are the skillets too dissimilar?

   If you could do this and the CEO would back you, this might help to address the dysfunction.

9. AnonymousSeptember 14,2020 at 2:51PM UTC

   Completely different skill sets, nothing transferable I am afraid.

10. PrichardsSeptember 16,2020 at 5:02PM UTC

    Hmmm...why does Team A have to continually have to step up to heroism? Is it a staffing issue, or tooling or ?

    Where I’m going with this is: if both teams were executing to plan without needing heroic acts, then the rewards, it would mitigate the reward issue and create a better work environment for all. I am not trying to trivialize this grim situation in any way, just suggesting other approaches.

    Good luck and take good care of yourself.

11. AnonymousSeptember 16,2020 at 7:02PM UTC

    Unfortunately, our organization has a commitment to allow folks to work for us their entire career, we literally NEVER fire anyone. Some people have an internal desire to do a good job and be productive and some folks do not. Team A has that and Team B does not. It's an organization wide problem, we often hire temps/consultants to do the work that unmotivated, entitled employees refuse to do. The organizational leaders have set up this business model, those of us in the lower ranks have no opportunity to change it. For as long as the organization is viable financially, they will never get rid of the team B mentality.

12. AnonymousSeptember 12,2020 at 10:26PM UTC

    You are in a terrible position. The senior folks who allow team B to act like this are really to blame. Maybe a momento mentioning this specific project?

    I am looking for a job too. I was laid off. Be glad you have a job and focus on getting out of that toxic environment. And when you get to tour new place, see if you can get some people from Team A hired. I'm sure they are looking too.

13. Leader568704September 13,2020 at 12:22PM UTC

    Base the recognition on the completion of the project, not the people. Nobody can fault you for celebrating with the people who reach a milestone when the other team had nothing to do with the project.

14. Erik AyersSeptember 13,2020 at 12:48PM UTC

    Consider writing a story about what they did and why it matters to the organization. Share it with everyone as a lesson learned. They get appreciation under the broader umbrella of you wanting to share a lesson learned that could help other teams in the future. Its a great management strategy that you can even reference when looking for a new job :)

15. AnonymousSeptember 13,2020 at 1:17PM UTC

    Why have Team A had to work nights. weekends and forgo holiday? Was the project inadequately scoped? Did they get paid overtime? Or was that free labour? Perhaps Team B don’t want to work for free? Having worked above and beyond and received the same recognition as those who do the bare minimum. I’d never work nights/weekends/or forgo holidays for anyone. Scope the project properly at the beginning, or hire more people so that this doesn’t happen and expecting unreasonable contributions from employees.. Utter nonsense.

16. Joanna PoeSeptember 13,2020 at 1:21PM UTC

    This was a red flag for me as well. Reward Team A by hiring some additional help so they can return to a proper work-life balance.

17. AnonymousSeptember 13,2020 at 1:50PM UTC

    This was a specific software conversion their department needed. Many conversions had to be done in the evening or weekend when others were not in the system. The knowledge needed to build and stand up the new software is unique to their department so no one else could help. We did have a temp brought in to help with day to day tasks in Feb but when we went to full remote we had to let that person go, our system does now allow temps to log in remotely (something that was fixed with the new software).

18. Tami NelsonSeptember 13,2020 at 3:23PM UTC

    I know this may seem dismissive but I don’t mean it that way at all. I personally would not worry about team B. You have a factual ‘case’ in a measurable
    Level of work that Team A rightfully deserves recognition for. I would go to the ceo and explain it to her/him factually, (no emotion!) and state what you plan to do to thank them. That way she/he is prepared, and in this way you pre-empt team B’s complaints. Then.... and this is the hard part... let team B complain. At which point you can ask them to factually explain why. This will be hard to do but will show courage to both teams and raise respect, IMO.

19. AnonymousSeptember 13,2020 at 3:40PM UTC

    Perhaps team B is not lazy. They should be able to spend their free time with their families, etc. In fact, you should encourage people to have a balanced work life. There’s a reason the older people are still there. It’s because they don’t burn out and move from job to job. Very different philosophies with younger management and employees these days. Don’t put all your value on just fast production. Loyalty and experience keep a company running. Ageism is a real issue in the work place these days. Your reference to them skating to retirement reflects that. Perhaps you need to look at your own expectations. You should encourage your staff to take their vacations, etc. to be happier. You are promoting an environment of completion vs team work.

20. AnonymousSeptember 14,2020 at 2:53PM UTC

    In this case, the employees on both teams have 15-25 years with the organization and all are age 45+. The members of team B literally sit in their offices all day playing on their phones, watching YouTube because they don't have enough work to do during the pandemic. Team A had to get the new software implemented and there was nothing team B could do to help since they do not interact with team A's work at all.

21. Nadya GraceSeptember 13,2020 at 5:35PM UTC

    I appreciate a lot of the points made here in the comments. I do think the best plan would be to explain to the CEO what your plans are so they can back you up and understand your reasoning before their friends start complaining. I’ve seen these relationships firsthand and they’re very difficult to navigate. If you think the CEO will be unfair, it would help to have an HR representative present when you explain your plans. Just request a meeting with both from the start and it won’t be awkward.

    Regarding the expectation of your employees to work those hours to complete a project, I understand that sometimes these types of projects occur, but now those employees should get a reprieve and be given a lot of time to rest now that the project is completed. If your work environment requires months of work like this, they should be followed by months of a slow period for them to take half days and full 2 week vacations and relax from a busy work period (especially during a pandemic.)

    There’s not much you can do to quell team B’s reaction but when they do eventually finish a project, make sure they are also recognized for their work. And in the meantime, there’s a lot of great advice on how to handle them above!

22. AnonymousSeptember 13,2020 at 6:49PM UTC

    Great advice, Nadya Grace. I think clearing the “reward” for team A with the CEO gives you back up when team B tries to go over your head. It also shows you value your employees. I’m concerned about the “us and them” attitude that seems to have developed. Is there a way to bring both teams together so that they feel part of the same unit, even if they don’t work together? Maybe, bring team B in on the celebration (though not necessarily the reward) and find something (anything) to celebrate with team B and bring team A into that celebration (but not the appropriately different reward). Can the more experienced employees mentor the less experienced ones across teams using their institutional knowledge? Anything to break down barriers. Good luck!

23. AnonymousSeptember 13,2020 at 7:28PM UTC

    Encouraging team A to schedule vacation and to take personal time now that the big project is wrapped up will be a good way to show your appreciation. With the whole team A taking time off they won't have as many emails from their teammates which will hopefully support them really disconnecting.

    Not sure about your relationship with the CEO, but if the option exists, I would also recommend drafting a congratulations note from the CEO to the team for him /her to send out.

24. MottaSeptember 13,2020 at 7:39PM UTC

    I'm guessing you don't control bonuses, do you?

25. AnonymousSeptember 14,2020 at 2:55PM UTC

    We don't give merit based bonuses, the CEO decides what everyone gets. Team B actually got larger bonuses this year than Team A.

26. MottaSeptember 14,2020 at 5:23PM UTC

    Team B got bigger bonuses than team A? And all these other things as well? I'm surprised team A has not revolted yet.

    This may require some hard decisions to be made from your side... Let us know how this all works out in the end.

27. AnonymousSeptember 14,2020 at 8:49PM UTC

    Yes, team B got bigger bonuses. All of these individuals are part of our now closed pension plan so leaving isn't an option for them, they would sacrifice their future retirement.

28. LORI-ANN BURLINGAMESeptember 17,2020 at 5:29PM UTC

    You are in a difficult spot, since the bonuses are not based on performance but favoritism. It's unfortunately, that Team A has to go unnoticed for their hard work and dedication.

    However, the idea of hiring more people to help Team A is worth investigating.

29. Deborah Flory MaedkeSeptember 14,2020 at 12:33AM UTC

    In my job I was rated on a scale of 1 to 5, 5 being the best. I always received 4s but my colleague always receives 5s. I asked my evaluator 3 times what I needed to do to earn a mark of 5, and he would not tell me. So, yes, sometimes employees get jealous when they are working hard but not receiving the recognition, especially when nobody will tell them why they are "missing the mark". If you get no honest feedback for improvement, it all begins to feel like favoritism.

30. EmpoweredGirl758667September 14,2020 at 9:50PM UTC

    Several great points were made for the post. I must say, there has to be more going on than simply Team B is jealous of Team A or vice versus. There are definitely some relational/personality issues that have not been addressed properly in addition to the lack defining performance expectations and possibly transparency across the teams. If the work is unrelated and Team A knocked it out the park then Team A should be awarded for their efforts without Team B taking anything personal. I also believe it is presumptuous to make blanket comments i.e laziness, ageism, retirement, who is friends with whom, etc. about either team without pulling back the layers to understand what is truly going on. The employees on Team B have feelings just like Team A and that should be taken into consideration. By not doing so and making blanket comments creates a hostile work environment by indirectly pitting the Teams against each other which only perpetuates the perceived jealousy you are writing about.

31. Chandni SaxenaSeptember 16,2020 at 2:13AM UTC

    Give team A rewards that team B doesn’t want. Example: Rotations, Stretch Work, Connections with Senior Management or other Divisions, Education Reimbursement even if in small amounts and Unofficial Titles (ex: Project Lead for many of them for different projects).