I have more than 30 years of experience in my industry, and I've been at my company for 2.5 years.

Anonymous

August 2,2022 at 7:49PM UTC

Welcome to Fairygodboss!

We’re the largest online career community helping women achieve their career goals. Gain access to articles, jobs, events, and a supportive network of women and allies. Membership is free, always.

I have more than 30 years of experience in my industry, and I've been at my company for 2.5 years. I love, love, love my manager and our team. However, it is a dead-end position and the company culture sucks along with dealing with a slew of people who have been there for 20+ years, crappy management and they have zero respect for our group. I have an opportunity to interview for a position that is somewhat similar but has a lot more responsibility. I'm excited about the opportunity but...my fears lie in the fact that if I get a good offer and want to take it, I will have so much guilt over leaving. I do have a great relationship with my boss, I have a new employee starting in a few weeks and would essentially be leaving them all in a bind. Any advice?

Why women love us:

Daily articles on career topics
Jobs at companies dedicated to hiring more women
Advice and support from an authentic community
Events that help you level up in your career
Free membership, always

11 comments

Share your insight

Join an authentic community that helps women support each other at work. Share your professional experience or ask for advice — you can even post anonymously.

11 Comments

Join the conversation

Carmelita ErvinAugust 2,2022 at 8:03PM UTC
I know how you would feel but lets be real. If there was a reduction in force and you were in that number, there might be a slight pause, but believe me business would continue on without you. If your group is as great as you say, then they will be happy you have found about position. Who says you have to stay somewhere just because if you would leave, they uncomfortable for a while? At this time in your life, do what makes you happy. And hopefully, you have made some friendships that will last for years to come.
AnonymousAugust 2,2022 at 8:07PM UTC
It's hard to leave a good boss. But sometimes it's really the right thing to do for your career. And a truly good boss will be happy for you to grow. Do as much as you can to document and help the new employee get off to a good start.
One problem I'm seeing with many organizations now is that they are running with too few people. There's no back-up for positions. People end up not taking vacation or holiday time - or getting contacted during their time off for work. Conscientious employees can feel bad about the work that can't be done, but it's not their fault the organization didn't either hire enough people or figure out what parts of the work could be reduced to match the number of people they have.
AnonymousAugust 2,2022 at 8:21PM UTC
Forget the guilt, compete for the new job and accept a good offer.
2.5 years is a respectable tenure and you can’t fix the problems with your current company. Put yourself first, just as your current company does.
AnonymousAugust 2,2022 at 8:24PM UTC
If the guilt outweighs your ambition and need for growth, sit tight. Wait for that opportunity you just can't say no to. An offer that makes you have butterflies in your stomach. Guilt will be such a distant concern you won't have a seconds hesitation.
Besides, this is just an interview. It's great practice and good to just play around with. No pressure and no guilt. If instead you feel overwhelmed with guilt even having a discussion about an open role, then pass on the interview. No harm done.
Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistAugust 2,2022 at 8:27PM UTC
Guilty about what?
Leaving a dead-end position, with a crap company culture and terrible management that does not respect their employees?
Face it - if they wanted to be a better company, with a better culture and better management, they already would be.
I promise you, neither your boss nor your team members have ever, WILL ever say "gee, I'd love to take this great new job, but I would feel so guilty leaving anonymous."
Never. Going. To. Happen.
They'll get over it. Trust me on that.
Do NOT let any of this bother you or give it one single second more of bandwidth in your brain. Forget about it - don't look back, use your energy to look forward to the exciting new opportunity you have in front of you.
GOOD LUCK ON YOUR NEW ADVENTURE!!!!!!
AnonymousAugust 2,2022 at 8:37PM UTC
I can relate - it's easy for me to say not to feel guilty but I've felt the same way too in similar situations. That being said, how I got over that is reminding myself that despite how good of relationships I have and have had with managers and peers, I have to be the one that is looking out for my best interest. At the end of the day those same people you feel guilty for leaving probably would leave in a heart beat if it were them.
AnonymousAugust 2,2022 at 8:50PM UTC
If your boss got an opportunity for advancement, would guilt stop them from taking it? I think this is another way the glass ceiling manifests. As women we feel guilty about leaving our team in a bind and so we don't pursue advancement because of a sense of loyalty that is rarely reciprocated.
Audrey KirschAugust 2,2022 at 9:50PM UTC
Company culture sucks, crappy management and zero respect for your group. Your decision should be clear. Your manager is well familiar with all of these things and will understand your leaving. Keep the manager and teammates in mind if you ever have the opportunity of getting them out of that bad environment.
AnonymousAugust 2,2022 at 10:33PM UTC
Wow.
Are we twins? I am going through this same type of situation right now. Although I wouldn't say that I love my boss; I actually barely tolerate them on most days. But I do love my team and the adjacent teams.
Why I'm telling you this is because the s*** hit the fan about something today and my manager called to just keep the hits coming and I almost gave my resignation without even having started interviewing for other jobs. I didn't do that because I would have regretted it (but only because we're in a recession).
But I will spend some time this week shining up my resume and I will start applying to jobs, and I will take every interview that comes and I will talk to multiple recruiters. And I will accept a better job when it comes and to hell with my current company.
And you should do that as well. Why?
Because work is about supporting the life you want to have. And I hope that the life you want to have doesn't include being treated like crap for 8-10 hours per day, 5 days a week. Work is supposed to provide some sort of fulfillment, and without taking too much away. I, for one, am happy to give the 40 hours per week in exchange for the financial remuneration, but I'm not willing to give up my sanity or self-respect.
Go to the interview. Rock it. And if the cards play well, quit the crappy job and rejoice.
AnonymousAugust 3,2022 at 12:51PM UTC
I would wait for an amazing offer before you start creating a guilty conscience. Maybe you'll figure out a way to rid yourself of the guilt if you actually offered the job at a great salary.
Maegan, Nike Sales Rep & Career CoachAugust 3,2022 at 6:52PM UTC
ITS OKAY to feel guilty. You love your team and manager. However - good managers want whats best for you.
Think about it like leaving your parents to go to college or move out on your own, it might feel crappy in the moment but in the long run it can be the right decision. Stay focused on all the good you've been apart of knowing you're leaving them having made a great impact. In 5 years, will you regret staying with a team you love but being in the exact same place ? OR regret leaving and taking a chance somewhere you can continue to push yourself and grow?