Hi everyone,

19 Comments

1. AnonymousDecember 3,2025 at 8:49PM UTC

   I know your question was more about the bias but I’m a Program Manager and I’ve gotten this feedback numerous times. It’s hard when your role is down in the weeds and details are important . I’ve had managers who want a deep dive and those who don’t. It’s taken years of practice for me to have three levels of details; very high level, more detail and a lot of detail. Unless they ask me in an interview for an actual plan I tend to stick pretty high level.

   I tend to keep Exec communication to one slide which seems to be just the right level of detail. If it can’t fit on one slide in average size font it’s probably too detailed

2. AnonymousDecember 4,2025 at 4:56AM UTC

   how stressful would you rate this career track and how is your performance measured, like the factors they consider other than overall project completion and results?

3. AnonymousDecember 4,2025 at 2:28PM UTC

   Is it possible this feedback had absolutely nothing to do with you being a black woman but rather your succinctness and ability to adjust your communication style based on audience?

   I sometimes over explain things, to make a point or convey urgency and importance. Communicating with my immediate team is a very different story than with c-suite members where I may have just a few seconds or a couple of sentences to convey information. A previous boss pointed this out to me more than 20 years ago. It was a wildly uncomfortable conversation for me, and she was absolutely right. I still have to flip a switch in my to stop talking after I’ve made my point.

   Outside of constructive and detailed feedback on your executive communication skills, which while difficult to hear I’d welcome, you don’t share other detail of how you were the victim of unscious bias. Would your reaction have been the same if another black person delivered this feedback?

4. Erica LanyonDecember 4,2025 at 10:01PM UTC

   Hello! Thank you for bringing up this topic. I’m a Hispanic woman and, like you, I’ve always been careful not to attribute workplace issues to my race unless there’s a clear reason to. Recently I was let go from a role where I had received nothing but praise, including a stellar informal review just two weeks earlier. When I asked why, I was told they “wouldn’t give a reason.”

   I’m a seasoned professional with a strong work ethic, and I know I contributed to the company’s success, that was stated in writing during my review. While I don’t believe my being Hispanic was the explicit reason for the termination, I am starting to wonder about the unconscious comfort some companies or leaders have in treating minorities differently. I haven’t seen others with obvious performance issues or problematic behavior treated the way I was.

   I’m not assigning blame, but it’s something that crossed my mind, and I can completely understand where you’re coming from.

5. AnonymousDecember 5,2025 at 1:30PM UTC

   It is a Senior level role. They want more strategic thinkers and communicators not tactical. Executive's time are limited. They want a quick story with a future outcome/direction. How you get them there quite a bit of the time is of no concern. I don't think it was unconscious or conscious bias.

6. Aaliyah Serianna OlsonDecember 5,2025 at 1:31PM UTC

   Hi! Well, I remember while looking for jobs and attending interviews that there was an age bias there. I'm not black so I haven't witnessed racial bias, but definitely age bias.

7. AnonymousDecember 5,2025 at 2:01PM UTC

   Without being present for the interview, I cannot be too helpful :( Do you have a trusted colleague you can do a mock interview with to get another perspective?

8. AnonymousDecember 5,2025 at 5:43PM UTC

   Let's take your ethnicity off the table for a moment. Being detailed is great but, what I hear when I read the feedback that you were given is that you were too in the weeds, and perhaps the role that you interviewed for was meant for a more global impact within their organization which means strategic thinking and speaking vs. tactical execution. Take their feedback to heart and write up some stories pre-interviews that showcase how your overarching previous projects affected a whole organization and how you impacted more than that one project. Show some examples of how you have made presentations to leadership and show the affect it had on the bottom line whether it be cost savings, time savings or other.

   As for the concern about being treated with bias, only you would know that by tone and direct interaction with those with whom you met. If you felt or feel that in any interview situation please do notate and call that out if you can. That is 100% not acceptable in any situation.

   My best recommendation for you would be to prepare some high level presentations for when you interview that could be shown to a board or a CEO from where your role sits in any organization. Show the details to a point but as a project manager the most important facts an Executive would want is how much, how many resources, did we hit the timeline, what could we do next time better and what did we learn in the post mortem to not do again.

   You got this sister! Tune up a bit and you will shine in the next company lucky enough to get you, it's great that you are self - aware and know that taking all of this in will ultimately help you most.

9. Jody LaflenDecember 5,2025 at 6:04PM UTC

   Anonymous makes some very good points. I’m also not white, and I cn be very talky, and lose track of how long I am talking in an interview. One company gave me the same feedback many years ago. So I studied interviewing, and learned that interview responses should be 2-3 minutes or less (3 minutes for 2-part questions, etc.). Many years later, as a manager who conducted interviews, I realized what they meant. Candidate performance during the interview is equally important as their responses, to see if they’ll fit well with the team. The only time I gave feedback was if I thought the person was very competent but just might want to work on some things, like interpersonal skills (but had nothing to do with who they were). My best suggestions for the future are 1) study the company and its culture prior to the interview, 2) wear a watch so you can peripherally glance at your response time, and keep from going into the weeds (if they want more details, they’ll ask), and C) read the interviewers’ faces. If they are not smiling or their eyes are glazing over, end your response immediately. Good luck to you!

10. AnonymousDecember 5,2025 at 6:17PM UTC

    Hi Gwen, your story really resonates with me. I can relate and I can understand how this can be very disturbing, in an interview. I think the bias we encounter, needs to be taken seriously and yes, we can learn from it. It's not in our heads and it happens often. I wish it didn't.

    I experienced something similar. I interviewed with a large bank and I met with four people, for at least two hours. There was the Manager, Supervisor, Team lead and a co-worker, all at the same time. They all had rapid fire questions but I did very well. Once I started talking, they all warmed up and told me that, they were very pleased. They were speaking as if, I already had the job. Their comments were very positive. I knew I was qualified for the role because of my years of experience. Then the Manager says, oh Tim wants to meet with you too. He was the VP and once he entered the room, everyone froze. He told everyone to leave, which left me and him in the room.

    The smile left his face and he stared at my resume. It was almost as if he didn't believe my experience. He questioned why I wanted to work there and he didn't understand why I was leaving my company to work "there". He wanted to know why I wanted to perform these duties again? And he kept repeating the same questions, as if he was expecting my answer to be something else? He was not friendly at all. I asked him questions and he was very short and rude. Immediately, I sensed, that he had no intention of giving me that job. I thanked him for his time and sent my usual thank you note. I didn't get the job but I thanked God for the opportunity to interview. What I learned was that, I deserved better and I didn't want to work under this man. He was rude and acted as if I was lying. In my mind, there was no other reason, to not give me the job, judging from his interaction with me. I knew he had the final say. What he didn't know was that, they told me, they couldn't find anyone with my experience and they were happy that I already had the knowledge that was needed. They were having a hard time finding qualified candidates. Of course, I will never know but I sensed something wasn't right. I was glad to get out of there and move on. I refuse to fear anyone's presence or be afraid to speak up in any job. I kept on applying for jobs and I eventually found one, with another bank, where I felt valued and appreciated and not judged by the color of my skin.

11. AnonymousDecember 5,2025 at 6:39PM UTC

    I've never heard of anyone being "too detailed" or "lacked executive communication?" What does this mean? I would prefer someone being too detailed, as compared to being vague. And executive communication? What is that and how do I get it? I don't know Gwen, in an interview I answer questions and learned to be straight to the point. Sometimes I may have to elaborate further but I've never heard of this. I think people sometimes try to find reasons "not" to give you a chance. I've had this happen and once I recognized it, I said oh okay........ NEXT. There's unconscious bias and conscious intentional bias. Keep being you, keep being honest and being your true authentic self. Iyanla Vanzant (favorite book "In the Meantime") and Mel Robbins are great truth tellers. Connect with them and you will definitely be enlightened.

12. AnonymousDecember 5,2025 at 7:59PM UTC

    I have been unemployed for 2.5 years. I sent out over 100 resumes and only had about 5 interviews. Truth be told 99 percent of the time I have way more experience than the people I would report to. I hate to say this but it’s my truth people with over 15 years experience and want a grown up salary will not be successful in this economy. At this particular time people in charge do not want to hire people that may be smarter than them. They want young people 25-36 and they do not want to pay an experienced grown up salary. This has not always been the case but it is the current/post COVID way. I have a BA and a MBA and currently a phd candidate. My career is hospital administration and finance. I am currently studying AI and financial markets. Thinking about a career change. With all that said do not give up! What is meant for you will be for you! Good luck, stay strong and positive!

13. AnonymousDecember 5,2025 at 9:25PM UTC

    You’re not alone. Many strong leaders get feedback like “too detailed” when the real issue is that the interviewer wanted information at a different level. And yes, bias can absolutely play a role in how communication is judged, especially for women and women of color. Your reflection is valid.

    One tool that helps is chunking up vs. chunking down:

    Chunking Up (executive level):

    Start with the headline; the problem, what you did, and the result. Executives want the outcome first.

    Chunking Down (operational level):

    Give the steps, tools, and details only after someone asks for more.

    A simple approach is:

    1. Lead with the big picture.

    2. Pause.

    3. Add details only if they want them.

    This keeps your clarity and depth, but shows you can adapt to any audience.

14. AnonymousDecember 7,2025 at 2:52PM UTC

    I love this. I give my mentees the same advice. Waterfall your comms. Start with the big picture and trickle down details if needed.

15. Lea BeatriceDecember 6,2025 at 6:39PM UTC

    I run a PMO and fairly often find myself hiring new PMs. This is feedback I give often to my employees. If I’m hiring for a Junior PM position, I give more leeway on communication skills because I expect those candidates to need more coaching as they grow. But if I’m hiring someone senior, with a salary to match, I expect them to be able to gauge their responses appropriately. If we have 30 minutes for an interview and I tell the candidate I have a few questions and want to leave time at the end for their questions, I expect the candidate to calibrate the length of their responses appropriately.

16. Michele HoraneyDecember 6,2025 at 9:26PM UTC

    You were probably saved a lot of heartache if [as I'm assuming] you did not get the job. I was told by a prospective boss with whom I was interviewing that "you ask too many questions." Yeah. Right. Yes, I WAS asking questions. Which was what I'd been taught and was, at that time, the de rigeur move by a candidate. I should have bowed out right there after I heard that. She did not want someone to question. I did not. I went ahead, got the job, and she fired me two months later. "Bad fit" she said. No duh. What she wanted, really, was an office babysitter while she was vacationing. It was a hard lesson, but when you get no-sense, critical pushback during an interview like what you got and that I got, you say "thanks!" and move on. You probably were saved a bruising experience with this person.

17. SPQDecember 7,2025 at 6:30PM UTC

    It's fun being "middle management". You have to find the right communication style for executives, while also adjusting to what is needed for operations.

    I bet you're super strong in bringing clarity to complexity for the people on the ground floor and that is something that can be difficult to do, that's why not everyone can be an amazing PM, or Manager even. You help them connect the dots, see the bigger picture, and orient them towards the same goal. You lead them through uncertainty, chaos and ambiguity, and that's what you have been praised for.

    What got you here won't get you there.

    Executives don't care about the tactical approach. They want the strategic impact and outcomes. You need to get to the point in 3 sentences. Executives are functioning at a much higher level. They have approved hundreds of project budgets and seen thousands of projects. They really don't have the time or want to spend the time understanding each. Don't over explain. They are smart enough to know what to ask. All you need to do is address rapid fire questions succinctly.

18. AnonymousDecember 7,2025 at 6:37PM UTC

    A word about that feedback you received - take it to heart. You might have heard the answer to the question: Do you know what time it is? the correct answer is Yes.

    Execs do not want to learn how to build a clock when they ask the time. This is exec communication. Great you know the details, and sorely needed that you do, but who is the audience? Execs want brevity. Training others might want the detail.

    Growing into senior roles means leaving behaviors that worked in the past, in the past. Time for new behaviors.

    A technique to answer complex questions in an interview: start with the 30,000 foot overview, then ask if they'd like more detail (you can name a certain specific feature). This lets them control the interview.

    Allowing oneself to answer at length in a 30-45 min interview is unnecessary. We don't know how many questions they want to get through.

    The interviewer is not used to our style, accent, pace, etc. - so talking too long, well, we can talk our way out of an interview.

    Maybe find a coach to support some development to slip the old and find the new skills needed for corporate growth.

    Good luck!

19. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistDecember 8,2025 at 1:49AM UTC

    You wrote: 'How have you processed feedback that feels subjective"

    ALL feedback is subjective.

    Not everyone wants the same level of detail. I've had managers that wanted all the gory details and then one manager who I could literally feel his eyes glazing over on the phone when I got too detailed with him. He only wanted the 50,000 foot view.

    You can start your answer with a general answer and then ask "would you like more detail?" or "did I answer your question with enough detail?" Admittedly it's very difficult to do when you're just speaking with the person for the first time, but you have to try to read your audience.

    I'm not exactly sure why candidates seem to feel that feedback would be so helpful.

    Feedback is completely subjective. And typically, it's very specific - applicable to that specific position for that specific hiring manager or recruiter in that particular company.

    As in this case. I know plenty of hiring managers, who do not move people forward because candidate's answers were not detailed enough.

    I would not give that hiring managers opinion one more second of bandwidth in your brain.

    A reason given by one hiring manager for not moving a candidate forward, may be the exact thing that would make a different hiring manager WANT to move that same candidate forward.

    Maybe they're just a bad hiring manager. Maybe they're just a bad interviewer. Do you really want advice from that person? And what if you actually do change your resume or how you interview based on that bad feedback?

    Do your best and let it go.