What do you do if your body tells you that you're done?

Anonymous

September 13,2022 at 1:50AM UTC

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What do you do if your body tells you that you're done?

52, staring down 62 as my retirement age, and I just don't know that I am going to make it. Corporations may have changed a little but not really; this is definitely me and my problem.

Diagnosed with major depression disorder (recurring) and anxiety 24 years ago, complex PTSD 4 years ago, on antidepressant meds for the last 24 years, doing/continuing therapy (7 years)....I am doing everything I know to manage my mental health but I feel like I no longer have the tolerance for nonsense, and there is a lot of nonsense in the corporate world.

I honestly don't know if I should look at filing for permanent disability or trying to figure out what would light the fire under my feet and inspire me to be the employee I once was - I feel like a diminished version of myself. I've tried different meds, newer ones...I have a great therapist....I certainly would never share my mental health issues at work.

What do you do to get your groove back? Or do I pay attention to my body physically revolting to working in the same industry I have for the last 30 years, and leave?

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AnonymousSeptember 13,2022 at 3:22AM UTC
I wouldn't do a 180 change. I would consider a slow revamp. By that I mean keep you security of your full time employment with good benefits and instead consider shaking things up with new interests, challenges and even hobbies. Volunteer to remove the focus on you 24/7 and share that focus on others that would benefit from what you know and your experiences.
Travel, even day trips, can stir things inside you. Gain exposure to new ways to connect with you community and you surroundings
Just slowly move out of your comfort zone while keep your security and routine. Your soul doesn't necessarily need work right now so it's great you have a job you are fully capable of performing without much added effort. That means you can coast while keeping your performance high. Use your curiosity and focus on broadening your world.
I would try that and you might find a new path.
Shelby CSeptember 14,2022 at 8:23PM UTC
Excellent advice!
AnonymousSeptember 13,2022 at 12:43PM UTC
What kind of nonsense are you speaking of? I am about your age (though there is no way I can retire at 62) and I have a lot less tolerance for the younger generation coming into my industry. I feel like the crotchety old woman shaking her fist at unruly kids. That said, you will find some variation of nonsense in every industry. It might be different from the nonsense you are experiencing now but it will still be there. This may not be related to depression, anxiety and complex PTSD and more related to burn out and trying to navigate how the work environment has changed since you first started working. Good luck, wishing you the best!
Crystal HowellSeptember 14,2022 at 12:25PM UTC
Contact creatinglegacywellness.com, Kim is a great person and certified wellness coach, with a background in HR staffing. Good Luck
Jennie MontañoSeptember 14,2022 at 12:27PM UTC
Hang in there.
This seems to be a trend in discussions I have been having with my colleagues and peers. It’s a collective feeling of exhaustion and I am feeling overworked and depressed as well.
I too am looking at a retirement horizon and trying to find the patience to hang on. Increasingly find I have less tolerance for poor leadership and bad leadership is a full stop.
My action plan is to look for more leadership opportunities and strive to eventually transition to corporate board functions. I see this as the only way to enact better change.
Laura Ann KleinSeptember 14,2022 at 12:59PM UTC
This is what I’ve decided to do—be a part of the change I want to see but boy howdy I’m done with the “nonsense”
AnonymousSeptember 14,2022 at 12:29PM UTC
LISTEN. I have been a body centric coach for a number of years and a yoga instructor, I also specialize in coaching mid-season women. I share that in all cases the body has it 's own wisdom and we try to intellectualize it, use logic, and it does not work. Step away, give yourself some grace, go into nature. Conside being a consultant in your industry, work if you need to but on your terms. Do something to earn money with a low stress job, something that you enjoy. Work at a book store, or paint shop if you love decorating. Reduce clutter in your home, simplify, live on less. There are all sorts of things you can do, but right not you feel overwhelmed and have low energy. There is a goddess inside, let her find her way back to guide you. I have a free E-Book that might help. Or read Atomic Habits, Ja,es Clear. Maybe find a sense of not being alone with the book How are you, Really Jenna Kutcher. Existentialism if you have too much stuff and it is weighting you down. Hope this is of some value.
AnonymousSeptember 14,2022 at 12:40PM UTC
Listen to your body, it knows. Find a new and different path of work to give you some purpose and some cash until you hit your decided retirement.
Maggie StoneSeptember 14,2022 at 12:41PM UTC
I want to address your questions from a financial and mental health point of view.
First, you say your projected retirement is 62. I assume that means you’ve calculated that that is the age you can afford to retire? If not, I would enlist a financial planner to think this out.
Second, I want to make some observations as a mental health Therapist. I would caution against getting out of the workforce completely because the lack of structure and routine and isolation may only exacerbate your issues. Could you cut back your hours or change your schedule?Change industries or work environments? Take a leave during which time you can get some more intensive treatment? Lots of possibilities here. Most importantly, have you ever dreamed about or considered the type of job that would give you joy or a sense of purpose? Start dreaming today. Best of luck.
AnonymousSeptember 14,2022 at 12:51PM UTC
I so feel this post. First of all, hugs to you. It's crazy tough, especially if you have health conditions.
Honestly, what works for me (I have multiple physical health conditions that led to severe mental problems, thanks to the rather extreme hardships I faced in trying to get care) is working from home. I, too, work hard on my mental health. However, I still get triggered. I don't do well in chaotic environments with multiple interruptions. While I've gotten much, much better at emotional regulation, it takes an enormous amount of energy for me to deal with certain kinds of toxicity. I don't have the ability to do so everyday, and I'm always afraid I might say or do the wrong thing amid a panic attack and destroy my career.
Working from home gives me peace of mind. I'm not dealing with colleagues for a full 10-hour shift, sparing me enormous emotional energy that I can then channel into greater productivity. It also allows me to manage my symptoms holistically, pausing for a mindfulness or yoga break when I need to get myself under control — all without drawing curious glances from outsiders.
Losing the commute also gives me more time to attend to my therapeutic needs. While I still don't get the degree of mental health care I should have, I at least have health coverage now. What the professionals can't do, I try to fill in myself with self-help books and deep dives into psychological channels on YouTube (I know, that sounds like Dr. Internet, but there are some highly informative ones out there like Doc Snipes — LOVE her, OMG).
Take care of you. Look for something that's a little less intense on your mental health. The good thing is, there are more remote roles that don't treat you like an afterthought, thanks to the recent pandemic. The best roles are often hard to find, and ageism is a thing — but once you're in, oh, let me tell you, there is no substitute for not dreading what you do every day. My life is infinitely happier, and you frankly couldn't pay me enough to return to the office today, even if I had the physical ability to do so. Take care.
AnonymousSeptember 14,2022 at 1:08PM UTC
I can so relate to this post! I’ve been in the corporate world for 30 years as a senior executive. Well I’ve had the most awesome experience is an awesome positions the corporate world has changed so much that sometimes I can barely get through the day. I don’t have the same health issues but I have my share.
Honestly I’ve had to change my thinking I feel like the workforce has now become my mission field. I’m teaching the younger generation how to do business and I personally have to rely on God to get me through it.
I’m still a hard worker and certainly a contributor to the company however I simply have made other things my priority to help keep me sane. I can’t put my finger on what exactly has changed other than attitudes of entitlement and a lack of skill.
My best advice is to change your perspective and make other things outside of work your priority! I’m 58 and my goal is to work until I’m 66 to make sure I have full benefits of retirement.
Cyndy TrivellaSeptember 14,2022 at 1:18PM UTC
I am so sorry you are going through this and dealing with health issues on top of it.
It may not be the thing most top of mind for you, but financial stress is another issue you don't want to add to your problems. Do you have the financial means to leave a job without having one to go to? I ask because going on permanent disability will only pay you a portion of your current salary—just something to consider here.
Regarding the nonsense you're seeing, I hear you loud and clear. I see it, too, as do a lot of people I know, so we know it's real. Do you have a trusted confidant at work? Sometimes having a person you can speak with to blow off steam can be helpful in the moment. This is not a gossip buddy but more of an outlet that allows you to release the negative feelings and clear your mind so you can refocus.
I, also, wonder if you are working extreme hours. This in itself can lead to burnout and add stress to your life. You don't mention this in your post, but I wonder if this is happening, too.
Some outlets that may help you to relieve stress are doing things outside of work that give you joy and help you to see the bright side of life that is not work-related. Choices like attending yoga classes, joining a book club (can be in person or video), volunteer work, or taking up a hobby are a few suggestions that may offer you that outlet you need.
My best advice to you is to focus more on yourself and find outlets that allow you to do so.
I wish you all the best.
Kim RaperSeptember 14,2022 at 1:21PM UTC
I honestly feel your pain but am at a loss for good words to help you. Each of us is so different in how things affect us that its hard to do much more than say things like Get help, Find an outlet, etc. I do pray that you can find a path to ease your distresses.... Maybe a lower stress type of job (easier said than done I know) but you need to evaluate all aspects of your life... Rank what is most important to you, star those that are going good and mark those that need work... Lists are awesome... Nothing huge as that is a negative on its own. Small workable lists.... Find a group therapy .... even a church group (small groups) can be helpful even if you are not all that religious in nature... There are good people to be found in small groups of all natures. Feeling irritate with the state of society today is a constant with me ... trust me, I struggle with the idiocy daily with WTH are people thinking... but I can only do me. Its enough... I am enough... You are enough..... Its ok to not be ok...... Best of luck to you with whatever you work towards.
AnonymousSeptember 14,2022 at 1:24PM UTC
I've been there but could "tough it out" until my full retirement age of 66 + 2 months. The last three years were a nightmare, with a short-term disability leave of four months (at 66% pay) in 2019 and WFH during COVID for 7 months in 2020. Only you can know what is best for you.
Have you discussed it with your therapist? The therapist would be a great resource to work through the issue with you. Be sure you go to the Social Security website, as they have great retirement/disability planning tools, including what your check would look like from SSA. Of course, if you have corporate-sponsored long-term disability insurance, it would be best to contact them to see what your benefits are with them. At least with Social Security, qualifying for disability gets easier the older you are, as you are less likely to be able to retrain to accommodate your disability before full retirement age.
Unfortunately, the workforce has become such a commodity that once you are gone, you will probably be replaced by someone younger at half the salary. Companies no longer have loyalty toward their workers but expect 100% loyalty from the workforce.
Orlagh CostelloSeptember 14,2022 at 1:33PM UTC
Can you look at changing companies/ industries? While I agree, once you're dealing with corporate, it's hell no matter where you are, could you look at smaller businesses, or consultancy or remote work? I get sporadic depression/anxiety where I need to take meds and I usually let work know, but I'm not in the US so it's different here. (Thankfully!) Are there roles in your org where you have to deal with people less? I'm in engineering and there are always people who are excellent technically but who will not deal with people and there are always technical roles for them where both they and the org are happy. Plus, if you've been in an org for a while, can you sort of arrange your work to suit yourself?
AnonymousSeptember 14,2022 at 2:34PM UTC
As a consultant I can say that you can still burn out. That said-it REALLY helps and is freeing in that it’s always changing. Different people, problems and landscape. Also a “hall pass” from corporate politics. I recommend speaking with a few recruiters in your market to test the waters. Good luck and take care of you!
Orlagh CostelloSeptember 15,2022 at 12:27PM UTC
Fully agree you can still burn out as a consultant, but one of the attractions is the ability to set your own boundaries on who you will and won't work with - most people I know who have made the transition have a list of people that they know won't allow them to do their best work, so best avoid. Rarely companies, although that happens as well!
AnonymousSeptember 14,2022 at 1:37PM UTC
I hear you. With almost 40 years in the same industry working for corporations I have hit a wall. I just started a medical leave of absence from work and am in a mental health program covered by medical insurance. Short term disability covers a portion of income. I am hoping this 3 month period will allow me to reset and gain enough energy back to make some further decisions. I would recommend you discuss this option with your therapist. Best wishes to you.
Kristie WhiteSeptember 14,2022 at 1:44PM UTC
You might check out Cyn Meyer. She is an entrepreneur who has created tools for people to assess, prepare and transition to retirement. She has a YouTube channel as well. The tools may help you evaluate.
Debbie ShapiroSeptember 14,2022 at 1:47PM UTC
Your post really spoke to me. I'm in a similar situation. I'm 54 and my husband and I want to move overseas in the next couple of years. I'm hoping to work remotely for at least a couple of years once we move. I'd like to fully retire before I'm 60.
I don't have any formal diagnosis of depression or anything but just signed up for counseling sessions to deal with anxiety that I've been experiencing lately. It sounds like you already have a therapist helping you.
I feel the same way about feeling like I'm not going to make it another few years to retirement. I don't know if it's just burnout or something else. I've actually loved working from home during the pandemic. I haven't had to come into an office since March 2020 and I truly don't miss it. This might be changing for me imminently. ?
Not sure I have much in the way of advice but I'm just starting to work with a therapist as well as a career coach. The career coach is helping me with ideas for transition to different, more fun ways to earn income as I shift into retirement mentality. Have you tried working with a career coach?
carolina girlSeptember 14,2022 at 1:50PM UTC
Listen to your body! You have to take care of YOU! If you feel filing for disability is the best thing for you and your health, then by all means DO it!
AnonymousSeptember 14,2022 at 1:51PM UTC
Get a personal trainer that will push you to EXCERCISE! at least 3 days a week for 30 minutes. if that is too expensive then just walk for free! maybe buy yourself a new pair of shoes that would motivate you to get your body moving.
AnonymousSeptember 14,2022 at 1:54PM UTC
10 years is a long time to be doing something you really don’t want to be doing.
Keep working with a therapist and may be a career coach, give yourself six months to a year to explore and research what/where your desires are leading you. What color is your parachute is an old but good resource. I am feeling similarly but don’t have as long to go to retiring. Good luck.
AnonymousSeptember 14,2022 at 2:09PM UTC
Maybe it is time to find a different job. You are awfully young to retire, and while disability is possible, probably should be avoided if possible. Sit down and do a pro-con list of everything (separate pages). Have you thought about what you think would make you happy? Do you have a therapist you are working with? Are you liking that person? If you don't or aren't loving your current one, it may be time to make a change. No shame in that at all. Is there a hobby or activity you like that you could maybe start fousing on more? If you just stop working you will need something in place to keep you busy and active or your depression will worsen quickly. Wishing you luck on this next step - please be as safe as you can be.
Patriciai AllenSeptember 14,2022 at 2:35PM UTC
The Myers – Briggs is a popular personality test and a great way to find out what careers you should consider and learn more about yourself. There are books and free online assessments. I took the test and it was accurate.
Kimberly GrahamSeptember 14,2022 at 4:18PM UTC
I agree. "Strengthsfinder" is another outstanding tool that changed everything for me years ago by giving me a better understanding about what makes me tick.
AnonymousSeptember 14,2022 at 2:43PM UTC
I was on similiar path.
Transferred to new company location at age 60 and job and co-workers horrible. Over course of 3 years, all "local hired" employees either left or were fired (some were great, most not at all). Leader back in home office gave me a very challenging assignment, which I took and ran with, and gave me my "groove" back. Now not planning to retire until I hit 70 (selfishly, I am young looking/ acting for my age, and I want to max out my social security). Still have couple years to go, but see no reason not to stick it out. That new assignment was everything to me, and that is what it took. ps. during covid, I gained weight and started having joint issues, but picked myself up, lost 40lbs, and joint issues gone. Taking care of yourself is also VERY important !!!
AnonymousSeptember 14,2022 at 2:44PM UTC
I gave it a lot of thought myself, and I truly believe that the working world actually changed quite a bit in the last 30 years.
People used to stay with companies for a long time, and loyalty was rewarded, but it’s no longer the case. Companies are always looking for “inefficient” employees, which creates a lot of stress and tension. Depression is a reaction to stress. Our bodies are not designed to chase the mammoth indefinitely - we need to rest, but resting is not an option in the business world. No wonder we are getting tired. The retirement age used to be lower everywhere in the world, and the problem is not that we are tired. It’s normal. The real problem is that governments push seniors employees to compete with young workers by refusing us benefits when we are no longer able to work biologically.
AnonymousSeptember 14,2022 at 6:09PM UTC
People who spent over 30 years in the working world should be able to retire and rest, period. It is a shame that the governments pretend that people in their 60s are workforce.
Shelby CSeptember 14,2022 at 2:52PM UTC
You have several options. I would encourage you to keep trying because as physically, emotionally, and spiritually draining as it is, being at home on SSDI is often depressing to those of us that are in the greatest of spirits. I led a support group for people that were newly at home and "medically" retired early for over a decade. I am still at home. It took me almost fifteen years to rediscover who I was/am.
I would encourage you to speak with your care team about alternative options for CPTSD like EMDR. You can also talk to them about abortive treatment for depression that has a HIGH success rate with ketamine infusions. Some people have found relief with TMS as well.
I would also tell you that it is increasingly more difficult for people to go out on disability and get SSDI due to emotional health. Unfortunately, we still have a LONG way to go and there is a large issue with perception. It still is not treated the same as healthcare and there is a lot of bias within our government.
A word of wisdom I will pass down is this: The Presidential administration that you apply under can greatly impact your case. I say this because the admin affects the judges in power who will review your case in the event of an appeal. The adjudicators who make the decisions know that and don't want their decisions over-turned. Also, the BEST opportunity to win your case is the first time you file. I recommend you do it electronically. It is much faster. This is a complex process and unless you have a legal and medical background, I recommend an attorney who specializes in it. I was able to do mine and it went through in record time, but it is NOT for everyone.
Please remember this is a disease like diabetes. You didn't pick this. It is an invisible illness. Do not let anyone shame or dismiss you. You need to be your best advocate in whatever form that takes. I wish you the best of luck. <3
Arlene Frances Gottardo (Bryak)September 14,2022 at 3:23PM UTC
Good point about staying home- and depression-
Melissa VerdoniSeptember 14,2022 at 2:54PM UTC
i am 42 ,,, i already see i will not be able to do 40 hours a week for 20 years , but the kids are gonna grow older i can rest and maybe work 4 days a week .... it's all in the way we see things ,,, yes things change, we have to deal with it and get over it, it s all in the mindset. certain mental health issues are better left at home. at a cetain point you do your job and the rest ...... not much else one can do. we dont have control over others.
Shelby CSeptember 14,2022 at 2:58PM UTC
Wow. That was not very supportive or helpful.
Arlene Frances Gottardo (Bryak)September 14,2022 at 3:21PM UTC
Discuss w/ therapist how your life-after-work would look. PT is nice, too. I was a Children’s librarian fir 23 yrs. (Started later), and now I’m PT as a newsp editor & I really like it. 30 yrs. Is a lot- what are you interested in? Explore what’s out there & vamoose, if that’s what will give you peace & happiness.
AnonymousSeptember 14,2022 at 4:23PM UTC
My question would be is staying home a good option? Will you still have interaction with people? Will you have a social life? Do you have. A plan for what you will you do all day? Do you have other interests to keep you. Busy and engaged Will you be open to new experiences and brew people ? What do you like what interests you maybe a volunteer o something g or just a change of job
AnonymousSeptember 14,2022 at 5:54PM UTC
Take it One Day at a Time; don’t lose hope.
(Though I pray you overcome it in Jesus' name. Amen!) Not turning to be religious but find encouragement from helpful resources when negative impulses build up. Hope this helps!?
AnonymousSeptember 14,2022 at 7:06PM UTC
For what it's worth, I was on disability for about a decade due to a combination of C-PTSD, treatment-resistant depression, and several conditions that caused chronic pain. I got a kick in the pants when my partner left me and I realized that I couldn't survive alone on Social Security. I finally agreed to do ECT (shock therapy) and it did kick me out of the worst of the depression. I was able to go back to work and a decade later I'm making more money than I EVER thought to see in my life.
At 55 I'm happy and much healthier than I was in my 40s. I honestly don't plan to retire because I'm having too much fun.
Vanessa GreenSeptember 14,2022 at 7:33PM UTC
Love this conversation. I started a new job at 60 and purchased my first home with my daughter. My health is not good and I wander how long I can keep this pace up. For poor Black women the option of leaving good paying jobs is not an option. Good luck and remember to take care of you.
G C HesseSeptember 15,2022 at 8:36PM UTC
How "The Poor White Wpmen"....everything is about color!!!
AnonymousSeptember 16,2022 at 5:19AM UTC
Why is this about the color of skin? I am a white woman and the option of leaving is not on the table, please don't make everything about race!
AnonymousSeptember 15,2022 at 2:10AM UTC
During the past few years (and I'm much older than you) I took the time the pandemic provided to slow way down. I kept my easy job with benefits and rested like I've never rested. I took long hikes near my house to get air and feel nature and played great music and podcasts. In the beginning, because no one knew how long it would last, I just leaned into the quieter side of life as a sort of leave of absence.
As things started to stretch out, I bought some paint and new furniture and redecorated my spare room and invented a proper office space. Then I marie kondo'd my home and really cleaned out the clutter. I took advantage of our EAP and started therapy and committed to my health and wellness. It was a slow process but it reordered things inside me. I began feeling different. After that first year I started to rearrange things in my life. I took up yoga and began reading again. I was no longer hurried. I didn't want to give up this new quiet life. So this summer when the call to return to the office began I pushed back and to my surprise that was agreed to.
I have my meetup walking groups, I meal prep now which I've never done and I find that scheduling "me time" is now a priority. I never was this quiet and peaceful and content. Ever.
So my message to you is try baby steps. Design a plan for the life you feel drawn to. It doesn't have to be a full fledged plan but a first step or two. Life is more than work but work provides a financial freedom and choice so it can't be ignored. You can manage it and you can thrive using work to your advantage .
JJSeptember 15,2022 at 4:41AM UTC
I’m sorry. Disability would help to give you a break. Healing from trauma tales a ling time and lots of energy. Holding you in the light..
AnonymousSeptember 15,2022 at 12:17PM UTC
I don't have advice at the moment, but just wanted to say I can relate. I'm 44 with almost 20 years in higher education, which has its own unique ridiculous characters and theatrics, and I too feel stuck with no motivation to continue playing this game. I'm sending a big hug. This won't last forever.
AnonymousSeptember 18,2022 at 12:14AM UTC
thank you and a big hug to you too ?
AnonymousSeptember 15,2022 at 1:10PM UTC
Know your company's short term and long term disability programs. Do they have them? If your company has short term disability and depending on how it is administered, you may have the ability with Doctor notes to use it and receive full pay for 3 to 6 months. This may be the time you need to re-energize. Then you may have the ability to move to long-term disability but that is usually only 40 to 60% of your pay, but may be more than SS disability. Look into your benefits to see what you have available to you. Good luck on everything.
AnonymousSeptember 15,2022 at 2:46PM UTC
my diagnoses are very similar to yours and i have found that not working exacerbates it tremendously. i’d do a short-term disability and work on ways to manage the nonsense.
“permanent” disability (federal or state) is suuuuper difficult for people like us with massive diagnosis but a tremendous ability to mask. i’ve tried and even my attorney said there was no point in appealing. their criteria is “if you can’t work, then why are you working?” so your second option would be a long-term disability and start filing for benefits late into it.
AnonymousSeptember 18,2022 at 12:14AM UTC
thank you so much. ?
Regina BrownSeptember 15,2022 at 4:34PM UTC
Oh, my dear!! YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOUR BODY!!
If your body is revolting...listen!!
I have multiple sclerosis and yes... I have to listen to my body or my body will start "yelling" at which point, I have no choice but to listen!
If you have FMLA, vacation, sick time, personal time, take that time to "get your groove back"!!
While away, file for permanent disability and take care of you...physically AND mentally!
You are the only YOU available. Enjoy your life and let your mind/body rest!!
crystalSeptember 15,2022 at 4:45PM UTC
i hope you are feeling better. i am struggling with similar concerns. i just hope i can get it together before and get a job before unemployment terms!
AnonymousSeptember 15,2022 at 5:01PM UTC
You pay attention to what it is telling you. Depression isn't just a disorder of the mind. It has physical symptoms and they are exhausting and chronic. Speak with your care team. You don't need to leave the industry, but maybe a new role or a side business would give you some spark. Maybe take some time to try new things that you've never considered, audit some classes at the local community college, join some organizations that speak to that new interest. It doesn't have to be centered around work. Take are of you!
Louise Albers-SobelSeptember 15,2022 at 8:01PM UTC
Have you tried meditation? Sometimes that can help.
AnonymousSeptember 16,2022 at 11:54AM UTC
Definitely listen to your body. Don’t leave the industry. See if you can use FMLA and take some time off to decompress. A little break could help you get through the next 10 years you need to get you to retirement. Good Luck!!!
Laura E. WendtSeptember 16,2022 at 12:18PM UTC
There are helpful comments below, so please try to get the help you need and persevere. I had to retire due to Stage 3 breast cancer, I needed to listen to my body, but I did try many things before I was sure. One thing I did was to focus away from the corporate 'nonsense' and more on developing the people I knew I could help and grow the business. Good luck!
Stacey BellSeptember 16,2022 at 6:21PM UTC
Definitely see your OB for a hormone panel checkup. Could be your levels are off causing some of the exhaustion and depression. If you company has any policies addressing pre/menopause, see if there's additional resources available and short term leave. If you have vacation time, take it.
Marga Laurel-OlleroSeptember 21,2022 at 12:31PM UTC
Is there a way you can take some time off for maybe a month? You probably need to disconnect, take time to review and assess your health, and reflect if you'd like to come back or try something else (granted you are privileged to leave)
Bradford McCormickSeptember 22,2022 at 6:11AM UTC
I had a psychiatrist who reassured me that anti-depressents do not help if one's life situation is objectively depressing. When I told him I was having visual hallucintions on the job, he assured me that the time to worry was if I started having auditory hallucinations.
I went from the frying pan into the fire: a job wher aI was supposed to be half time in each of two different deparentments which, of course, translated into full time devotion to each (red flag here, right?). It was a major sports association, so my boss assured me our work wan't ife-and-deth serious but it was and he even wuld not give me the key to the computer room (I was a computer programmer) because he presumably did not trust me even though I had 20+ yeaars of free rein of computer rooms in previous jobs. They finally fired me and I found a nice head hunter who placed me in a startup that was actually a lot better -- at first. My job was fixing bugs and my first manager actually told me: "We always have time to look more deeply into issues after we fix them. But she got promoted and then came buiyouts and the Bush aneurysm economy that burst and I finally got PTSD from "Angular" and other freeware mystery meat even more inscrutible than that. I finally got made redundant in a reduction in force whre they handed out an age disribution sheet to prove it was not age discrimination (I was 72 at the time). It's not like IBM in the 195s and 60s where lifetime employment met with employees who even sang "Songs of the IBM" from the IBM songbook....
Can you find some way to make it more interesting for you until you ge to the finish line? But if you do find a way to make it more interesting then you won't be so depressed or hoping for it all to just end.
Jenny Cox, PHRSeptember 22,2022 at 1:47PM UTC
You have 10 years left to work if you choose to. How do you want to spend those 10 years? What would the perfect job look like for you? Is there something you enjoy or are passionate about but never had the chance to pursue as a career?
I have had some similar challenges, although I cannot say I know exactly what you're going through. I CAN tell you that you are not alone. I CAN tell you that you can change.
I don't know your financial situation, but if it allows for you to make a career change to something that inspires you more. Try it! It might be scary but it's also just a job...and if you try something new and hate it...try something else!
If your financial situation won't allow you to leave your current job...can you volunteer somewhere or do something part time that might help fill your bucket back up? It might sound cheesy but sometimes helping others really helps to improve my life.