Seeking encouragement

Anonymous

May 5,2022 at 1:27PM UTC

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Seeking encouragement

It's early, I just found out last night, but we're pregnant with our second. Our first is only 6 months old and I feel I'm still repairing my career having only been back 3 months. I love this job and while they love and support families, I know that it has delayed some of my projects and inconvenienced certain processes and it feels like there is more focus on the inconvenience than that proving my value (ie- I've asked for a comp review because I'm underpaid for my role in the industry and they have been dragging their feet)

On top of that there is ambiguity at work anyway with the security of our jobs due to things happening outside the companys control. I've been through job loss before and have faired great, even created my own small business to get me through.. but that was before kids.

Any moms out there experience back to back pregnancies unexpectedly that can tell me success stories? I think hearing from people who have made it to the other side may help ease my panic right now..

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AnonymousMay 5,2022 at 1:53PM UTC
Well first of all, congratulations! My second was a surprise baby and her being in this world is gift for which I have been grateful every day since the day I found out (although the confirmation was a whammy!!). You asked for success stories -- here it is: Although my corporate job was good and lucrative, we could not afford to have two kids in full-time daycare or have a nanny, so after the birth of the second one, I stayed home full-time for a few months while my husband finished grad school and got a better-paying job. I always kept a few side gigs going -- freelancing, a bit of volunteer work, just to keep feeling like an adult and maintaining a network. When the hubs got something better (and we moved), I began to look for part-time work in a different sector, which I did for years to pay for nursery school for the kids, until they were old enough and I found a full-time job, which led to an advanced degree, which led to great jobs and a great career of top leadership positions. So basically, I got knocked off what I thought was my career path, got time at home with my kids (abso-fricking-lutely priceless and I wouldn't trade that for a milisecond -- but to each their own!), got onto another but better career path, and here I sit at 52 with grown kids and my dream job.
You can do this! My journey was not easy...not ever...but if you remain open to all opportunities, hone in and leverage your major skill set and strengths, and enjoy your kiddos, you will have a great ride!
AnonymousMay 6,2022 at 3:19PM UTC
Thank you for sharing your story! I would echo that there is hope and you need to put yourself first in your career and at home.
AnonymousMay 7,2022 at 1:21PM UTC
Congratulations!
I had this twice. My kids are each a little over a year apart (2 1/2 years total from first to third). and my first was a preemie who required a lot of attention and extra time.
it is doable. With my second, I wanted to tell them early because I was not sure if I would need extra medical support again. I put together a plan and addressed with my boss. He was surprisingly supportive and was actually relieved I was not quitting.
with my 3rd, she was a surprise and I had a new boss. So, that was a little trickier. I did keep that one quiet for a while longer while I figured out the situation. I was unsettled that pregnancy with work and trying to figure out a new boss. But found when I came back my new boss realized how much I knew and how valuable I was to the team. And ended up with a promotion when I got back.
AnonymousMay 7,2022 at 1:41PM UTC
Congratulations on your new baby!
When my twins were 9 months old I got pregnant again. My life got derailed in every possible way. My nanny quit as soon as I told her I was having another baby so I had to find a new one, then we had to get a bigger house, I transferred to a new job with the same school system, then had to tell them I was taking maternity leave again. It was the hardest time of my life but once my son was born I never regretted it for a minute. I wasn't able to take off much time and money was always tight but because of my continuous employment, I was able to retire at 58 and take off in an entirely different direction.
This may not be the plan you had for your life and you might not be able to stay on the path you have been on. You'll go through some tough times and you may not see the success you imagine now but you will succeed as long as you keep your family as your top priority. Most importantly, do not neglect your marriage! Your children will be grown and out the door before you know it and you deserve to have a loving relationship to last the rest of your life. Your career is important but you will always be able to get another job. Your family is the most important thing you're building now. You got this!
Happy Mothers Day!
AnonymousMay 7,2022 at 1:47PM UTC
Not so close together, but my second was a sort of surprise.
We’d opened the idea of a second and then my work got bad and I decided to quit (job and actively trying) and build a freelance career. A week later, find out I’m already pregnant. Forgot to tell my body the plan!
I was able to get enough clients and connections before he was born, so that I had a trusting client base (this was part time income, and I recognize that I am lucky that worked for us). And then was able to parlay that into a full time gig (during the recession) when it became necessary. And now I am in a leadership role at my company. Would my trajectory have been faster had I not taken the scenic route? Very likely, but I do feel I was able to have a really good balance during those years. I probably would have preferred to stay freelance, but feel grateful I was able to transition back and blossom in that space, when that’s what the family and finances needed. Empty nester this year, and while little of this life is the path I planned, it has all worked out well.
Congrats! You’ve got this.
Sabrina CortesMay 7,2022 at 4:59PM UTC
I didn't have my kids close together, but I did have an unexpected pregnancy late in life (41 when I delivered my son). At the time, I worked for an insurance agency, and paying for full-time child care was out of the question and I didn't have family members to watch the baby. So, I decided to quit my job and stay home to care for our son. During this time, my husband lost his job and we moved out of state. I know, this doesn't sound like it's a success story but wait, there's more. :)
Once we were "settled" into the new house, I started freelancing as an Academic Writer. I wanted to do more and so I started applying for Copywriting jobs. At the time, I didn't know anything about copywriting and did a ton of research to learn about it. From there, I joined a few freelancing sites and networked with people on LinkedIn.
It's been almost 5 years now and I do Copywriting and Resume Writing. I love that freelancing gives me more time with my family, I can choose my clients, and I consider myself to be successful even though I'm not a huge multimillion-dollar company. My definition of success is very different than most. I'm successful because I have steady clients, I can take care of my health and my family's health, and the time that I have with my little boy now is priceless.
The other beauty of freelancing is that you can do it with anything - photography, writing, transcription, marketing, VA (virtual assistant), and tutoring.
I hope this encouraged you because - you're stronger than you think. :)) Sending warm wishes to you!
EmpoweredGirl571717May 7,2022 at 9:47PM UTC
I would like to learn about how to get started with copywriting. I have a bachelors degree in English and have not used it for 8 years.
Sabrina CortesMay 8,2022 at 2:02AM UTC
I did a lot of research about getting started, and I focused on writing blogs and articles. I also signed up with Upwork, Fiverr, and other freelancing sites.
Here are a few posts that might be helpful. :)
https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/finding-a-job/how-to-become-freelance-copywriter
https://www.truelancer.com/freelance-copywriting-jobs
https://www.themcmethod.com/how-to-become-a-copywriter/
https://www.thebalancecareers.com/kick-start-freelance-copywriting-career-38900
Best of luck to you!
Liz MilneMay 10,2022 at 12:41AM UTC
To be honest, it really doesn't sound like they do 'love and support families' if you are being made to feel that the very few precious weeks you had to bond with your first child are an 'inconvenience' to others at the office?
Honestly, running your own company is even better with kids! I did it and can't imagine how I would have coped had I been tied to an employer with fixed hours and only an hour for lunch! I worked after I dropped the kids at school, then spent time with them in the afternoon and evening, and worked some more when they were in bed: busy, but I got everything done, and no guilt about letting down children or clients...
You will have to take it slow, and let the babies direct your work flow (remembering to get enough sleep yourself!) but it is very possible to manage both children and a decently earning job...
I appreciate this doesn't deal with your current job, but I would say have a conversation with a manager? And perhaps dust off your old business for side income/ fall back?