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Anonymous

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Here we go…

i just gave my 2 week notice. A lot of management turnover (now me included), backstabbing, gaslighting and not getting the support to manage my department (gave verbal warning to an employee who undermined me) which was not pleasant. My leadership style is a coach/supportive and I always make sure I am available with whatever they need. I reward them with lunches, show my appreciation, let them leave early or cover for them if need be. She went to my manager who then met with me stating that she didn’t deserve it, I am not an effective leader. What I know of my team is that they have never said thank you, how can I help, etc.. when I stated this to my manager she said, I shouldn’t expect my associates to do that and if I do, I am not a leader. So confused and just said that’s it

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  1. Anonymous

    Don't blame you. If you are disrespected and undermined, there is little you can do if Management doesn't support you. Your manager actually took it and turned the tables. I would leave too.

  2. Anonymous

    Out of curiosity, why would you expect your team to say thank you to you for doing your job? Or offer to help? Yes, it would be nice but I have to agree with your manager that if it is something you are expecting, that is on you....

  3. HC

    Your right it is on me but when you are trying to build a collaborative team where we are helping each other achieve the same goal, it is nice when we can show appreciation for what everyone is bringing to the table. I don’t expect them to help me with what I am obligated to do and be for them as their manager however, when I am clearly spending my own money to take them out for dinner or buy them gifts for their baby shower, yes a thank you is COMMON COURTESY.

  4. Anonymous

    A simple “thank you” is common courtesy; however, you’re doing these things out of your own free will, and I would think that you’re giving gifts to be nice, not to get something out of it (even if the something is a thank you)?

    I understand that you’re maybe trying to show your appreciation, but not everyone’s “language of appreciation” is receiving gifts. Maybe that direct report you reprimanded likes to receive praise, and instead of recognizing their work, you reprimanded them for what you perceived as undermining.

    For someone who seems to value building a collaborative team, you don’t seem to understand what a team is (specifically team dynamics).

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