not feeling appreciated at work

42 Comments

1. Sabine LevrierJuly 11,2023 at 6:26PM UTC

   Unfortunately, I will have no advice because I am currently in your shoes. I will definitely follow this post though. What I can tell you, is that I tried to raise my concerns with management and for the past 3 years, all I get is polite answers and lovely smiles whilst assuring me that I'm really appreciated and that they are working very hard on my promotion but it's not that simple because they do not have the budget. Meanwhile, I keep seeing others (usually much younger than me) climbing the ladder every 6 months. By the way, I'm the oldest employee (age wise) by far in this company. I'm 63 years old and I am sure this has to do with my fate. So yes, I too sit quietly in my corner now by fear to get in a much worse situation... No job

2. AnonymousJuly 12,2023 at 6:26PM UTC

   I understand your position as well, sadly the younger ones demand more and we are trying to be grateful.

3. MislynJuly 11,2023 at 6:34PM UTC

   You can address it but it will probably not go in your favor is my experience. I ran a company basically by myself with little to no help from my boss. When I told him I felt I should be better compensated for all I was doing I was told I should be doing more. He would take all the credit for the work I did and make it look like he was actually doing something. Always acted like he was super busy when in all reality he did nothing but personal stuff and be on fb. I even told him I was going to have to find a part time job just to make ends meet and nothing. A boss that doesn’t care about his employees shouldn’t be a boss. They should hire someone else to deal with employees and they should just stay out of things altogether. He ran off more employees then I can could due to be a horrible boss and person. Start looking for a job where you are appreciated. They are out there trust me. I’m finally happy and my life is getting back to happy. Best of luck.

4. AnonymousJuly 20,2023 at 3:49AM UTC

   I’m sure your boss probably is very busy throughout the day if he is running a business. You are not going to see what they do everyday if you are doing your job. I have two very valuable employees in my office and they do not see what I do throughout the day and I don’t see everything they do. They were hired in at a pay rate with yearly increases. Would I like to just throw raises out there every time someone says they need to make more money or deserve more money of course I would. That is not how it works in the real world. If it did we would all be asking for more money. So what if you have to get a second job. Many people get second jobs. When my kids were in college I had a second job. Did I like it, no but that’s what it took to maintain my lifestyle while I had the additional expenses. I don’t tell my employees daily how much they are appreciated does that make me a horrible boss and person? Just because you didn’t get more money doesn’t mean your boss doesn’t care about you it simply means you are paid what was agreed upon and you wait till your next raise like a majority of people with a job. If there is anyone out there that gets a pay raise every time they ask for one I would love to know where you work and if they are hiring.

5. Kimberley Ferretti HammettJuly 11,2023 at 8:38PM UTC

   You know your leadership and situation best so take what you need from this advice and leave whatever doesn't work for you but here are my thoughts:

   What if you approached your leadership in a very similar way to how you approached this post? Unassuming that you know the reason behind your experience and asking for advice. This is why I think it could work:

   People love to be heroes. Rather than approaching it as their problem, but as yours that they can help fix, gives them the opportunity to be on your side. Saying "I feel like my contributions get overlooked and I'm concerned I'm not advocating for myself enough but I'm struggling with how to do that. Do you have any advice?" Hopefully this will prompt them to ask you for examples on what has been overlooked and they can give you advice. Additionally, this may encourage them to advocate for you. Of course they may not respond as positively but they are more likely to engage in this conversation productively than one they may feel defensive in.

   Try also tracking your "wins" and find ways to share them with people, especially your leadership. This could be be as simple as popping them in conversation (ex. contributing advice via story of experience "that sounds like a great project! When I worked on X I did Y and it helped with Z, maybe that will help you."). It doesn't have to feel like bragging, share your successes to help others. If you really struggle with speaking up like that, try implementing a regular email to your leader with your lessons and wins of the month or quarter maybe? Either way, it's easier to share your stories proactively than to have to speak up and say "actually I did that" when someone else just took credit.

   I offer this as someone who learned my lesson too late that I do have a responsibility to advocate for myself if I want proper recognition. It does take 2 (or more) so of course leadership and people you work with are a factor, but often we assume that they know the whole story when that may not be the case. I once worked in a position that helped a lot of teams and when a new leader came in, I assumed they knew my capabilities when they saw the type of workload and projects I had been a part of. They adjusted my role to more reflect the title I was working under and wouldn't allow my involvement in the higher level projects anymore. While they definitely were not a great leader, I realized what I had missed when I interviewed for a position on one of the arms of our team that the new leader suggested I apply to (and basically called me entitled when I had said it would feel like a step back). I did interview and as part of it did a presentation. The manager of that arm, who I had worked with before, was floored by how polished and high-level my presentation was. I was actually told I was overqualified and they didn't realize I was able to do that type of work. I realized I assumed they knew. They knew I had been involved in higher level projects but many people hadn't actually seen my work or contributions. It was easy for them to assume I did as little as taking notes. Doesn't necessarily mean I did anything "wrong".. but I certainly learned what I could have done differently.

   I realize if you are naturally more reserved or introverted, it takes more for you to speak up. That is not a negative trait but it can definitely limit your results. Similarly to someone who is outspoken and blunt. Honesty and courage to speak are good traits, but if they are overused, they can't expect everyone to just bend to them and not feel offended or annoyed. They have to find balance. If you are more thoughtful and reserved those are valuable traits, but you can't expect everyone else to just know things about you.

   Good luck and I hope you find a comfortable balance to advocate for yourself so you get more of the recognition you deserve!

6. AnonymousJuly 11,2023 at 8:50PM UTC

   I know what you mean

   However, ma feeling of appreciation= paycheck -- means I'm appreciated enough to NOT have to look for other work.

   Are my standards low? No. It's that I've had some truly bad experiences at work and at home so I take what I can, do all I can and thankful each day I log in to work. I enjoy what I'm doing and although the "corporate atmosphere" is a bit crazy (aren't they ALL????) the benefits are too good to give up despite the job not being what was advertised

   Happiness comes from within and being 50.... well -- I know what I want: paychecks equal eventual retirement and a home/some fun in the meantime

7. MislynJuly 12,2023 at 2:54AM UTC

   If you don’t feel appreciated find a newjob. I went from never getting praise for a job well done to being thanked everyday for my performance It all has to do with your boss and there attitude.

8. CathyJuly 13,2023 at 12:39PM UTC

   This is where I am at currently. I forgot how taxing the job search process could be. I wish my current company appreciated me. I have made so many pro/con lists to stay or leave

9. AnonymousJuly 20,2023 at 3:50PM UTC

   You make it sound like it’s easy to just leave a job and find a new one. Well from my experiences it hasn’t been easy.

10. AnonymousJuly 12,2023 at 3:49AM UTC

    I am in very similar shoes. I pretty much gave up trying to get a good word from management. I am also a manager and I try to be for them what my boss is not for me - appreciative and recognizing what is done. It is hard when I don't feel the same way. I am looking for other jobs outside, but believe me, the grass is not always greener on the other side.

11. Zeecil KimmelJuly 12,2023 at 2:16PM UTC

    I was in a very similar situation. It took my company hiring a much younger male and giving him my promotion and raise for me to finally get it. I started looking around and found a new job. And while there are definitely challenges at my new place - I approach things differently and ask for feedback. I get a lot of praise from my direct management and I feel my work is appreciated.

12. AnonymousJuly 13,2023 at 12:28PM UTC

    This comment is a red flag. I think you should evaluate yourself as well.

    I know I'd dislike having you as a boss.

13. AnonymousJuly 13,2023 at 12:28PM UTC

    I am in the exact position you are at the moment. I’m working with a company that I joined about a year ago and when I joined them I made it clear what my career trajectory was and how I’ve had a breadth of experience in operations and the expansion and growth. During this time I’ve also continuously shown my contribution to the organisation even to the extent of going above and beyond filling in the gap for other functions. Though my leader has confirmed I’m a rising start unfortunately, he feels I still need a lot more experience as a generalist and has made me feel under appreciated. I can go so far to say that although I’m a manager, they haven’t provided me the sponsorship that I spoke about. Now I’ve got an opportunity even tho I wasn’t proactively looking, he sees it as a betrayal. I love my job and I do love doing what I do being in both ops and strategic initiatives, but I feel that I’m not valued.

14. AnonymousJuly 13,2023 at 12:35PM UTC

    Do you advocate for yourself and have you let your supervisors know you are interested in moving up? Do you stand back and take it when someone else takes credit for your work? And the last question I have is this- Are you really going above and beyond or are you just doing your job? I ask that because as I supervisor, I have had staff members upset on performance reviews they were not scored better or recognized, but in reality, they were simply doing their jobs as expected. They showed up daily, they did their work, but there was never any over and above, there was never any indication they wanted more responsibility. They were simply doing the work they were hired to do. If your expectations and your supervisors expectations are different, you are going to struggle moving up and getting the recognition you want.

15. AnonymousJuly 13,2023 at 12:51PM UTC

    While you do present some very valid points as a supervisor, one thing I did not read was how YOU are motivating these staff members to go above and beyond.I have had interesting opportunities to work under various types of leaders ranging from my time in the military to corporate. The ones I thrived and learned the most from were ones who genuinely care about their people and have their backs; this is something I always do now as I have been in various leadership roles for the last several years.So just like you probably give the feedback when your subordinates are upset when they are not hitting their own professional goals…what are you doing to help them achieve them??

16. AnonymousJuly 13,2023 at 1:43PM UTC

    I routinely give positive, timely feedback, recognize when people need help and then provide it, and offer opportunities to learn more/ advance if I either note something in them that warrants it or if they express interest in learning/ achieving more. I agree it is a two way street. I was simply pointing out that people sometimes are expecting recognition for doing their job, but not actually going above and beyond. And yes, I express appreciation regularly to my employees.

17. AnonymousJuly 13,2023 at 8:21PM UTC

    This! YES!!!!

18. AnonymousJuly 13,2023 at 12:39PM UTC

    Here are the positives: you say that you love your work, and you've received "great" reviews. kudos.....You also acknowledge that you are a "quiet person". Is this "quietness" an issue? Think about this...And, do you want/need to change who you are--your demeanor-- in order to be recognized? Or would you like to simply be "you"...quiet and diligent...and still be recognized, without becoming noisy or extroverted about it? Do you want to work somewhere in which you must be a chameleon--someone you're not--inorder to be recognized by management? Or, Are there communication gaps, in which your manager mistakenly believes that "Mary" did the great work, and you didn't advise them otherwise? Why not? Have you spoken up when this occurs? Are you advocating when you need to, or simply getting brushed to the side because you're being passive?-- Or, are managers aware and brushing you aside regardless??? I am simply asking these questions to prompt your thinking a bit. you've stated that you like your work, and your evaluations are "great"....and these are surely positives. To be more obective about this...perhaps consider talking with a completely unbiased person, a therapist, a mentor-- and talk thru this situation. I want to make sure that you are exercising your personhood at work in the very best way possible, instead o pulling the trigger/ or talking with a manager and/or looking at new employment possibilities elsewhere...You might need help asserting yoursel more. Godspeed to you.

19. GirlBossanova934974July 13,2023 at 1:08PM UTC

    Your post is a bit confusing. In one statement, you say you are getting "great feedback" and in another statement you say are "getting left out of recognition". The boss says "great job" and then their boss does not say "great job"??? Who is giving you "great feedback"? And here is the most important thing! What are YOUR RAISES looking like? Are they more than 3% per year or something like that? Corporations these days are LOADED with false praise and silly accolades and packs of useless cheerleaders! Means nothing to me.....What are they paying you? Promotions to some great sounding title sounds OK but when the pay is examined, then what? Check your paycheck against others and see where you stand. If you feel you are underpaid and you feel you really are providing great value to your company, let your manager know! And if that does not pan out, go elsewhere! I guess I am a bit old fashioned..........Praise means very little these days. It's the pay envelope that counts.

20. Audrey KirschJuly 13,2023 at 5:38PM UTC

    Excellent point! My company is great with you're doing a great job, we really value the work you do, but it never translates into more money or promotions. Doing a good job or not, the raises are the same percentage across the board. Liking what I do and working with a great team weighs more for me in staying since I know the pay isn't an incentive.

21. AnonymousJuly 13,2023 at 2:09PM UTC

    Wow someone got triggered huh? Sounds like you recognize things in yourself you don’t like. Better think on that. We always find our own faults in others.

22. Rose Perez-RuizJuly 13,2023 at 2:19PM UTC

    That's a tough spot to be in. If the pros outweigh the cons of where you're working I'd say it's worth having a conversation with your manager. You'll want to let your manager know what makes you feel like a valued employee so you can thrive and be your best. Some employees value more pay or bonuses, others prefer praise. I have team mates who really appreciate having a team lunch. If things don't change then look for other opportunities at places where the culture is more aligned with your values. Wishing you the best!

23. Rosa E HearnJuly 13,2023 at 2:45PM UTC

    Working for a large organization, this is very common. Truth is, you need to toot your own horn (loudly) and/or find someone who will promote you and talk you up.

    Getting face time with higher UP's helps too. In other words you need to promote yourself and share your ideas to people who can value you. The hesitation is it comes off bragging or not a "team" player, but its a window you need to break to get in a position of a promotion.

24. AnonymousJuly 13,2023 at 3:44PM UTC

    Yes, create a tracker of the work that you do. Track the time spent the cost and the achievement and if it save the company money track that too. Then sit down with your direct manager and correct anything in the past that was attributed to someone else. Let your manager know what you need ie: I want to have a regular conversation about moving up and being acknowledged for the work I do. Make this running document that you discuss in your usual 1-1's. No one is clairvoyant not even the best managers. You have to always train them for what you want and need for your own success. Ask for it. If you are getting negative feedback or any corrective action from the conversation think about whether you want to continue to commit to a place that will never appreciate your hard work. If so then you can look and use the template you created to share all of your work product with your next awesome employer.

25. Clydene HorriganJuly 13,2023 at 4:05PM UTC

    There is nothing in this person’s response that says they only have a high school education, if that. Are there some run-on sentences? Yes. I have read many emails from educated people that look just like this.

    If you’re going to tell someone to proofread their posts, I suggest you do the same. You have quite a few run-on sentences yourself.

    Now, the truth is probably somewhere in the middle for most people. She probably didn’t run the company by herself, and your employees probably do more than push paperwork. I suspect based on the tone of your email that your employees are under-appreciated and unhappy employees. You may want to check yourself and your leadership skills if your response is any indication of how you lead.

26. AnonymousJuly 14,2023 at 8:47PM UTC

    No my employees are very much appreciated and they are told daily. My employees don’t go behind each others backs and cause issues which I have clearly read in her post. Sounds to me like her boss was wanting her out and was waiting for her to leave. Maybe she thought she had more control over the business then she actually did. Feel free to to review previous post. That’s why I said I would evaluate myself. She has some very hateful post that tell me she is not happy with herself.

27. AnonymousJuly 13,2023 at 6:27PM UTC

    The fact that you rebutted an employee believing they deserved more pay with the company not being able to afford it makes me think that the company actually just can't afford the employee. Curious how well you "network" to make money for your company if you can't afford to pay employees properly and you judge others with this holier-than-thou attitude. (BTW I found it pretty clear that when they said they ran the company they did not mean that it was their job to, but an exaggeration to illustrate how much impactful work they did. Possible they have over-inflated it in their own head, certainly, but no way to know they are the same as the people you've had experience with.)

28. Ellen Smith FaganJuly 13,2023 at 7:18PM UTC

    APPRECIATE OTHERS as an active project in the next week our two.....at the same time, find someone on the job - a superior - and tell them your issue - it is a big sin if someone is claiming credit for your work - it's THEFT.

    Your words make me pray - "...its because I am quiet". YUK! It's a classic line and always DUMB - quiet is valid and quiet is good but some kinds of quiet are NOT OK...you may not suicide with quietude. GO RIGHT TO GOOGLE AND TELL IT " I AM TOO QUIET AT WORK AND LOSING OUT - online class to fix my problem"..is the easiest way to help become effective but NOT NOT rude/noisy.

    Stay good but improve your goodness so as not to hurt yourself.

29. AnonymousJuly 13,2023 at 8:16PM UTC

    While it is nice to hear, "job well done" and receive a promotion with raise, you'll best be served by advocating for that promotion by letting your boss know that.

    Do what it takes to get a project done on a higher level, and know your self worth. If you like your job including coworkers, benefits, parking, etc., consider yourself blessed. There's many without jobs.

    Do not rely on your work for praise or validation. Know that you ARE worth being there.

30. AnonymousJuly 13,2023 at 9:09PM UTC

    I can actually say I agree with you. Yes, you put it all out there pretty boldly but, I do agree. I’ve been on maternity leave for the last four months (That’s another story) and have read every post that has been posted on this site out of pure boredom. I do have to admit I have seen “red flags” as you call them with many of Mislyn’s post. I don’t feel calling her out was maybe the right thing to do but I’m not confrontational. Yes everyone can vent and express their feeling on here some just choose not to air all their dirty laundry. Would really love to know where she worked last because my boredom is real and I would love to find the ex boss. Everyone needs to relax and not let this silly site get you riled up. I feel everyone should evaluate themselves. We all could be better people.

31. AnonymousJuly 14,2023 at 2:51PM UTC

    Wow you got me curious so of course I had to go back and read old post. 100% spot on she has some extreme anger and took some pretty bold moves during her employment. Would love to know what line of work she is in.

32. Karen PatwaJuly 14,2023 at 4:46AM UTC

    I would learn as much as you can from the situation you are in before you go somewhere else. I agree with those who are advising you to be vocal about your goals, and do this in a manner that suits your organization and your relationships with supervisors. You could also assess your interpersonal relationships and your communication with others. What do you do after others take credit for your work? Additionally, nice feedback is great but recognitions and promotions matter. Who is getting them? What do they do? Observe everything you can, and if you want to leave anyway, you might as well experiment with different strategies and see if they get you the results you want so you know better for next time.

33. AnonymousJuly 15,2023 at 7:13AM UTC

    In my 40 year career so far, the jobs I got the most recognition and promotions at were because of great managers who were very influential and secure enough to ensure my accomplishments got wide visibility. I feel like you might not have the rapport to have this discussion with your manager or perhaps not have a popular manager that can internally publicize your accomplishments? Unfortunately self-promotion and popularity are all part of the game… sometimes the extroverts get much more :(

34. AnonymousJuly 14,2023 at 2:58PM UTC

    I actually thought this site was for those seeking career advice and finding new employment opportunities. Learning how to network and make advancements in your career. I guess I was wrong.

35. maria roseJuly 14,2023 at 5:39PM UTC

    Perhaps I am getting a wrong impression here, but work is done by all of us as a means to earn money. Period. None of us should feel the need to be given constant acknowledgement for doing what is the job because we all get paid. Most jobs require a group of employees to work together as a team and there is no I in team. If this individual wants acknowledgment for something, they can’t be as described “ the quiet one” just plowing away, they have to ask for more job responsibilities and actually do what they asked for. Just showing up for work day after day deserves nothing more than the expected paycheck. You want recognition put yourself in the spotlight and accept the consequences.

36. Vanda LeeJuly 15,2023 at 6:27PM UTC

    Not sure what industry you are in but I've learned thru the years that you have to put your accomplishments out there. I previously had a really bad manager that when you did accomplish something his response was "that's great BUT what about such & such" so I just quit tooting my horn. Fast forward to my current position with 2 great leaders that shout compliments from the rooftop for our entire team. It's leadership - they're not wired to encourage and recognize good work. A conversation about how you feel with your leader might help but don't expect it to change instantly. You have to be your own advocate - bring your accomplishments to the forefront and see if it changes, otherwise, I would look for a job where the culture is different/better. JMO

37. AnonymousJuly 20,2023 at 6:47PM UTC

    No need for that type of response.

38. MislynJuly 28,2023 at 3:04AM UTC

    I’m so glad there are women who support other women on this post. You really know how to make a woman feel good about herself.

39. AnonymousAugust 1,2023 at 9:39PM UTC

    Ha, ha ha I think this post the women are very supportive of each other. Some things that are said on here just cannot be supported.

40. MislynAugust 8,2023 at 4:08PM UTC

    You are part of the problem I see.

41. AnonymousAugust 11,2023 at 3:12AM UTC

    I may be what you call part of the problem but I stand firm on not supporting things I do not believe in. I don’t believe all post on here are what you would say are the “right things” to do or say. So if that makes me part of the problem I’ll take your criticism. You don’t have to read my post.

42. AnonymousAugust 2,2023 at 9:02PM UTC

    OP here. To clarify, my supervisor will say I'm doing well and support paying for travel and training but when push comes to shove and there are recognitions and promotions, they go to other staffers who are better connected (for example, family members of other long-time staffers) or one of her own hand-picked recent hires. I just get an "atta girl" but no recognition of the fact that I'm working on one of the org's most important, difficult projects. But others get monetary awards for what I'd call "fun team work." Not the challenging stuff that results in working late or intense meetings and negotiations.