Struggling with self-doubt: How to overcome?

Anonymous

January 31,2023 at 2:47AM UTC

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Struggling with self-doubt: How to overcome?

While I've had some measures of success in my career over the years, I've always struggled with doubt/insecurity. It's gotten worse the older I've become, and I find myself excited and "ready" when an opportunity comes along yet I'll find a reason to not pursue it. I've worked with a number of therapists/coaches yet I feel *stuck* in my ways of thinking. This has kept me in "comfortable" and mindless, unfulfilling jobs for the past 5 years. I'm currently unemployed (I left a bad job last year) and although I'm motivated and want to work, I am afraid (in many ways) to get back out there to only get stuck in another miserable role. Can anyone relate?

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AnonymousJanuary 31,2023 at 8:26AM UTC
Yes I have been feeling stuck. 2 years in a row was let go shortly before Christmas. My glory days at work were in my late 20s. Since having kids I haven't had much of a career path. I can't get past entry level work The roles I've had would have helped me get into something better but I was always in fear of making the wrong decisions.
Maegan, Nike Sales Rep & Career CoachJanuary 31,2023 at 10:05PM UTC
Hey Anonymous, Sorry to hear you were let go recently. I know that must be difficult for you. If you are also looking for support in getting out of the fear of making the wrong decision and develop the confidence to take a role that could have an amazing future and career trajectory for you, I can take you through a process that can help you clarify your next steps and get you into action mode, while trusting yourself to make GOOD decisions. Here's my link if this aligns with you, https://maeganmillercoaching.as.me/consultcall
AnonymousFebruary 1,2023 at 3:02AM UTC
This is totally me! My own glory days were when I was much younger. After raising my kids, I too found myself back into boring, depleting roles with little room for advancement. My last gig was so terrible (although it looked great on paper) that I think I have some sort of PTSD...lol. I have an idea what industry I want to get into but I'm embarrassed that I'm not as accomplished as I should be at my age. I realize that I sound silly/pathetic, but this fear is almost paralyzing. It's ridiculous!
Stephanie LekowskiJanuary 31,2023 at 1:03PM UTC
You may have impostor syndrome. I am also second and even third guessing my career goals, mostly because I'm afraid of making the "wrong move" and winding up fired or laid off. I'm also giving myself a deadline to take a class or classes in something that interests me that I can turn into a career.
Maegan, Nike Sales Rep & Career CoachJanuary 31,2023 at 10:00PM UTC
Hey Stephanie!
If you want some support in overcoming imposter syndrome and get out of being afraid to make the "wrong move", and start taking massive action.. I'd love to talk through your strategy and whats possible for you. https://maeganmillercoaching.as.me/consultcall
AnonymousJanuary 31,2023 at 2:17PM UTC
The biggest question is, "what is the worst that could happen if ..." Imposter syndrome is real, as I have been dealing with this for the last 15 years. Sometimes, the worst that could happen is you are right where you are now. Often, however, the worst that could happen is you are in a job that isn't as fulfilling as you would like, but your bills are getting paid.
Positive affirmations may seem silly, but I have found that they work. Keep telling yourself that you CAN do this until you believe it. You are also worth it.
AnonymousJanuary 31,2023 at 8:42PM UTC
Do you have a mentor? It may help to change your mindset. Try journaling and after a few weeks read back over your journal. I know this may not be of good help but when I struggled with imposter syndrome I would ask myself "what's the worst that can happen?" And then I would prepare a plan to make sure those things didn't happen, or at least a plan to help mitigate should those things happen. You're not perfect, and that's ok. But you can do whatever you put your mind to. You have what it takes. Now you need to just believe it. I know, easier said than done. There are some great books out there to help though.
Maegan, Nike Sales Rep & Career CoachJanuary 31,2023 at 9:55PM UTC
Hi there !
Here's what I'd like to offer you, first of all its great that you are aware to recognize this about yourself and your self doubt. The key here is understanding what is going on in your brain, and developing the skill of taking action even when you experience the self-doubt. Then you will get better and faster at it.
Think about doubt as a natural progression.
The brain wants to stay in efficiency, even if its creating a negative result. It's a natural reaction to growth. These reasons you come up with to not take a new job for example, don't support you and your capabilities (that you can develop and ones you already have). From what you described above, you are afraid of taking a new role and being miserable, but the tradeoff is being miserable where you are now. Both ways are creating misery for you.
If you are wanting to grow in your career, the skill here is moving BEYOND doubtful thinking, and not let it paralyze you.
I have actual tools to help you create power and choice around your thoughts and your actions so in the moment, you can coach yourself and take actions that will take you closer to the achievements and goals you want.
If you are looking for support, heres my link! I'd love to talk it through with you and share how it is different than other coaches you have worked with in the past!
https://maeganmillercoaching.as.me/consultcall
AnonymousFebruary 1,2023 at 3:04AM UTC
Yes, I am in the workforce more than 20 years and still struggle with self doubt. I don't think it will ever go away, but I try to accept it, live with it and still move on. I just tell myself to do my best. We control our actions, not the outcome. If we did our best, this should be sufficient.
AnonymousFebruary 2,2023 at 7:15PM UTC
Sure we all can but perhaps talking to someone who can help you - therapist or friend will help. It's a bit of imposter syndrome which we all get from time to time. To stop it find your purpose, take some classes or do things outside of your comfort zone and see how you fare. Often what makes you do different things will help you to move ahead into the unknown. Fear will always stop your progress if you don't address it in the moment. That doesn't always mean you just jump into things but measure the risk against the reward and acknowledge what scares you to others. You will likely find out you are not alone.
AnonymousFebruary 13,2023 at 2:36PM UTC
I cant believe I’ve found someone with the exact same problems I'm having -
it’s like I have ptsd or something! It’s a type of depression that I’ve suffered with all my life and no amount of education and pills help. I’m always hearing what a great worker I am and how amazing my skills are but I don’t believe it and now when I need a job I can’t get one. Debilitating
Laura BrennanFebruary 14,2023 at 7:32PM UTC
Kara Lowentheil has a great podcast episode on exactly this -- where it comes from and how to lessen the impact. https://unfuckyourbrain.com/impostor-syndrome/