I started at a new company 3 months ago.

Anonymous

August 2,2023 at 1:49PM UTC

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I started at a new company 3 months ago. They aggressively recruited me and I walked away from another role that I was "close" to getting because they increased their offer to have me say "yes". They included a large RSU grant - but I've come to find that RSU's are not really a great bonus if you aren't staying the long run.

I thought for sure the company was going to be great -- but now 3 months later, I'm regretting my decision. I am older and much more experienced than my immediate supervisor and my peer -- and that seems to be causing problems. I have stopped giving any advice because it has been received with such negativity. Communication is really tough -- I feel this may be inter-generational but I can't be sure.

I also supervise a team of 4 people and things are fine now with 3 of 4 -- but the 4th I feel is complaining about me to my supervisor. She is a highly emotional employee and I never know from one day to the next what "mood" she is going to be in. I sense my manager siding with her on things and not supporting me.

I've started looking for another job because I can't stand this - but I'm also afraid she's started a "firing sequence" on me. I feel like I should just walk away -- but maybe I should negotiate my exit? Get something from this. Thoughts?

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AnonymousAugust 2,2023 at 2:29PM UTC
With your experience, don't be afraid to find the job/career that you desire and will thrive in.
AnonymousAugust 2,2023 at 2:34PM UTC
i was just reading another post about someone who wanted to resign but was hoping to negotiate being fired and getting severance instead. Many commenters asked why the company would open themselves up to paying unemployment. If I were you, I’d reopen discussions with the other role /company you were talking to, and aggressively look for another job, while also continuing to do your current job well — sounds like things are good with 3/4 of your team. Part on good terms once you have something new lined up
AnonymousAugust 2,2023 at 2:35PM UTC
There's a lot to unpack here. RSU's are used as a recruiting and retention tool. Not understanding the vesting schedule of that incentive is on you. Not sure why you negotiated for that if you weren't planning on staying long.
You seem to have awareness of the communication challenges with your boss. Frankly, it doesn't matter is you're more experienced or not...she's still in the dominant position. I'd take a long hard look at where these communication breakdowns are happening and figure out what YOU can do to help shift the dynamic. You're obvi not responsible for her reaction but you have full control over your own.
It sounds like most of your team is doing well but that 4th person is a pill. Have you talked with your manager about her uncontrolled emotions, and asked for some HR resources to coach this employee? Or asked to see her HR file? I'm sure this problem isn't new, it likely didn't pop up over night. It's quite possible that your boss is happy that someone else is there to deal with this person.
I'm not totally clear on your "firing sequence" reference. Are you on a PIP, is your boss giving strong indications that she wants to cut bait? You can approach her and say: I don't get the sense this position will be a long-term fit. But I'm not sure you're going to have a lot of negotiating power with such a short tenure.
You could also aggressively start to manage this situation and ask for regular check-in's with your boss. Hold her feet to the fire on performance expectations and ask for her backing of dealing with these problem employees. With all of your experience and tenure you should start pulling out all these management tools if you want to salvage this situation.
Mary PoolAugust 3,2023 at 1:33PM UTC
Read "Magic Words" by Jonah Berger and see if his suggestions on rephrasing can help you. This book is chalked full of great information on communication. Skip the introduction, I almost didn't read the book because of the introduction.
AnonymousAugust 3,2023 at 5:47PM UTC
Stick it out. The 4th is just acting out because she probably wanted the job you got or just struggles when reporting to someone new. You can easily fix that. As for your manager, have you sat her down and told her how you like to work and how to manage you? If you have not it is not too late and actually after 90 days a check in with some of this now that you know the landscape would be good. Definitely be direct and if you have to negotiate how to do things when they don't align this is the time. You're experienced, you can do this. As for the RSU's part i completely disagree. They definitely have a value and unlike stock options are free to you as long as you stay to vest. Don't walk away from what could be a pot of gold if you have faith in the company and business. I wish I knew then what I know now and I would be retired if I had pushed for more of those. Note that they only become liquid if the company has an event, goes public or gets acquired. They have strong value if so. You surely don't want some snide unhappy underling to taint your possibilities there? You can do this. Teach them both how to work with you and don't take no crap!
AnonymousAugust 4,2023 at 12:45PM UTC
"firing sequence." to begin with, you dated yourself with that statement as no one calls it that anymore. They build a case against you. And you never mentioned your title? are you some sort of consultant? if not, of course they're angry, the new hire is challenging them and not staying in their lane. This might be a good time to take a deep dive and look at yourself instead of saying it's everyone but you that's the problem. And take some sensitivity training. it's not 1995 anymore.
"I am older and much more experienced than my immediate supervisor and my peer -- and that seems to be causing problems" you are making it a problem by not staying in your lane unless you were hired to do consultation or give advice. This statement alone sounds egotistical and that you are not a team player as you view yourself as above your department.
AnonymousAugust 4,2023 at 1:35PM UTC
Wow! That was really harsh -- and since I already said I'm an older worker "dating myself" is a very agist statement you are making. I am a "manager" -- I was hired exactly because of my experience -- that I could "hit the ground running" when I came in. This has nothing to do with "staying in my lane" - it is a small team and everyone needs to pitch in. I think in this instance the old adage should apply: "If you can't say something nice or constructive, you probably shouldn't say anything at all."
Michelle S.August 4,2023 at 3:23PM UTC
???
Michelle S.August 4,2023 at 3:25PM UTC
God love her, she didn’t read your statement at all did she? I could probably target her age just by her selfish and entitled response. But I won’t because I try to be above that. But I hope you don’t listen to a thing she says. I mean what else are you supposed to do with four employees outside of challenge them and help them bring their best to the table? I’ve never heard of any ridiculousness like she brought... best of luck to you! And I’m sorry it didn’t work out. It’s my worst nightmare…
Michelle S.August 4,2023 at 3:23PM UTC
Wow. You talk about her response but really you should’ve looked at yours. Just hateful and unnecessary and nasty. Says a lot about who you are. I’d worry about yourself before you give anybody else advice…
AnonymousAugust 4,2023 at 7:25PM UTC
I'm not the one with a case being built against me and asking the internet why and for help. it's pretty obvious just looking at your responses. I hope op does better next time not to burn bridges.
AnonymousAugust 4,2023 at 1:35PM UTC
Unless they think you have a legal case against them, you don't have much leverage in trying to negotiate a package at this point. Keep looking for a new job and if you find something, then just take it and go, and keep your head down in the meantime.
AnonymousAugust 4,2023 at 1:38PM UTC
Wow.....I could have written this about my current state. It is amazing how with a small team one employee can drain you. Agreed on your RSU assessment as well. I think the best scenario would be for you to cut your losses and move on. You'd know by now if it is a good fit. The only thing that could stop you is if you've had a more than 2 short stops (less than a year or two) over the past few years as you do not want to look like you are job hopping. If your resume demonstrates that you usually stick with your employers for more than a couple years, then cut your losses and make the move.
AnonymousAugust 4,2023 at 8:11PM UTC
Ageist BS both in the comments and in this work place. An older, competent female is hired and threatens the status quo. BTDT.