How do you respond or deal with a coworker that makes underhanded comments and than changes the subject immediately? Dealing with someone who is very upset that she is not going on the latest trip due to a family obligation. Last event we went to she was sabotaging me at every turn. The other day she made such a nasty comment towards me and than changed the subject immediately. Very cunning but I guess she had to get her swipes in. I don’t know how to deal with these situations so I don’t say anything but I wind up rumerating all night long. Terrible. I think I need to learn how to stick up for myself but to be honest, I’m not that clever.

18 Comments

1. AnonymousJune 15,2024 at 9:50PM UTC

   If you want to stand up, then get a bit louder, do not allow the subject to be changed and ask point blank why she would say such a horrible thing to you.

   If she continues to try and change subjects say no I will not allow you to disrespect me and walk off.

   Trust me,,everyone within in earshot will keep the subject in rotation. She will of course deny it every which way. But do this every single time she tries.

   Refer to her swipes whenever the group gets together. Say your heart can't take her horrible and hostile jabs.

2. AnonymousJune 15,2024 at 11:14PM UTC

   Go scorched earth and call out every single snide & off-handed comment that comes out of her mouth. Ask her to repeat herself so everyone can hear her vitriol. Challenge her with: are you trying to be helpful or hurtful with that comment.

   When the BS starts flying, say: I reject your insults and I’m walking away. Come find me when you can behave like a professional and an adult.

   She sees an easy target in you because you take all her bullshit and don’t call it out. There are no consequences for her behaviors. This vile woman has revealed herself to you, her behavior will not change so don’t be fooled if she does an about face and all of the sudden becomes nice.

   There will be no bargaining or appealing to her if you share how challenging this has been for you.

   I’m so sorry this is happening.

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