I was offered my current job at the end of July, training started in August and now on Tuesday I start outside of the training bubble.

Anonymous

October 9,2022 at 10:53PM UTC

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I was offered my current job at the end of July, training started in August and now on Tuesday I start outside of the training bubble. I have had constant panic attacks and daily anxiety since July, I spend my days at work shaking (it’s a remote job with no video feed) and everyday fighting this fear and anxiety. I am completely new to the field, and I understand the expectations and that it will take a few months to really hit the goals set out for employees in my role, but I am still living in constant fear. Fear of failure, fear of making mistakes and getting fired (even though I have been told how mistakes are handled), fear that I am actually horrible at the job and no one has noticed yet and more. I have seen my dr to treat the anxiety, and sought out other methods but I haven’t had this before. This is my third serious job, though a different career direction than before and I am also taking courses because I am looking for a different career for my future. I still need to stop being terrified of working though. Any advice appreciated.

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AnonymousOctober 9,2022 at 11:16PM UTC
With this much overwhelming anxiety I would find a therapist that specializes in this area. You cannot function in this much terror.
A therapist might offer you some medication to help you focus along with offering you a strategy or protocol to stop the shakes when they start. You need support to get you through the next few months.
AnonymousOctober 10,2022 at 1:42AM UTC
Yeah I have been working with my therapist for a few years, this is literally a new and extreme reaction for me which we are working on.
I have always had anxiety but never to this extreme or for this length of time. I am also working with my dr for medication to help a age the anxiety and panic attacks. Thank you for your response.
AnonymousOctober 10,2022 at 12:23AM UTC
I know how you feel. I am also in therapy. She told me daily to write down even the smallest accomplishment. I too fear I am a failure. Think about it, you were given this opportunity over others. You are great and that is why they hired you.
AnonymousOctober 10,2022 at 1:39AM UTC
Yes my therapist has me writing daily, focusing on the rational belief to target my irrational ones specifically I am writing I will do my best everyday and that is all I can do. Thank you for your response.
PJ DeusenberryOctober 10,2022 at 1:41AM UTC
I'm a huge fan of therapy. Not only can you learn techniques to help calm your anxiety, but it might help you to figure out why it's happening.
Sandra DiazOctober 10,2022 at 3:25AM UTC
See if the method from the Panic Free book by Capt. Tom Bunn is helpful to you.
Crystal HowellOctober 10,2022 at 12:35PM UTC
Contact your doctor for a referral to a work therapist. Life is too short, to live in fear.
AnonymousOctober 10,2022 at 3:03PM UTC
Keep blazing the trail. Horrible work loss experiences with different rules for some cause this fear. But fear not!
Laura BrowneOctober 10,2022 at 9:48PM UTC
I'm so sorry to hear this. I definitely support the therapy idea to help you to talk through this with someone who can help you. Check to see if one of your company's benefits includes an EAP (Employee Assistance Program). Often this is a number you can call at no charge to talk with a counselor. It could also include some free sessions. Even if you don't have an EAP, it sounds like it would be a good idea to find a counselor. I know my counselor has helped me get through some difficult times.
Beth Whight MoralesOctober 26,2022 at 12:54AM UTC
100% support the therapist ideas that other women already answered.
But also… Why are you so afraid to make a mistake? It sounds like your expectations of yourself are sky-high, almost impossible to reach. So here’s the question I will pose to you: do you think any CEO of any company would worry this much over something new? And - because this is a big one for us former perfectionists - do you think if a CEO or any high level manager in a company would worry about a typo in an email? Of course not! And neither should you.
You got this job on merit. Show them what you can do!!
Alternatively, and I say this with the most sincere compassion, if you find that this is still how you feel in 2 or 3 months, then this is not the job for you. Do not let a JOB take control of your health. Take care of you, and if that ever means working PT at Starbucks while you are figuring things out, then that’s okay. It is really okay to not want to be part of the rat race.
So save all your $$ and make an exit plan just in case. That alone might give you the cushion you need to stop feeling this way.
Also, I love coffee. I’d buy one from you!
Hugs!