My Coworker Begged Me To Stay But I Really Need To Go
Anonymous
My Coworker Begged Me To Stay But I Really Need To Go
I made an unfortunate decision, ignored some red flags and took a Project Manager job about four months ago. The owner of this company was nice at first but now he acts likes a petty tyrant. This past Friday was the last straw for me. I’ve been working closely with a coworker who has been at this company for over 20 years. Last Friday, after the owner made a veiled threat on our jobs and dumped a mountain of work on us, I decided that was the last straw and was the sign I needed to finally put in my resignation, which I’ve been wanting to put in for over a month. It’s so incredibly toxic here. My coworker and I were on a call this past Monday and she confided in me that she was going to resign after that incident, but she decided not to do it. She asked me how I was doing and I told her that I’m blessed and highly favored and I have to remember that. I guess she could hear it in my voice and she begged me not to leave. She’s three years from retirement so I get why she wants to stick it out, but I’m almost four months in at this place and I know without any doubt that I do NOT want to be here. I would only be staying to help her. I have problems/trauma related to people pleasing that I’m trying hard to stop, and even though she’s a sweet woman, I still feel like my boundaries are being violated by her begging me to stay. It’s in her best interest, not mine. Lastly, my coworker’s manager (who I don’t really like much; I think he’s a weasel) asked me yesterday how I was doing. I guess she told him that I was considering leaving (which isn’t cool if she did tell him that). He then confides in me that the petty tyrant owner was going to fire her last week and he had to fight for her job. This woman does so much for this company and is so under appreciated. She works long hours and weekends and misses time with her grandkids, and the thanks she gets is having a weasel manager and an ignorant owner who threatened her job? Tell me again why I should stay when I know I can find something else?
Drama. Typing all this out just showed me how much drama and toxicity exist in this company, and this is just the tip of it. I almost feel preyed upon by my manager who convinced me to leave another job and come here when I was in a very poor mental state. I left a good job for this crap and I take responsibility for that mistake, but I really need to go. This place is toxic and really does nothing for my career. I have no desire to move into executive management at a place like this. There’s not one VP slot I aspire to move into. I don’t like the owner and I’m ready to move on. I know my coworker will be disappointed and it sucks because she might be the only reference I have from this place if I ever need one, which is the only reason I would stay a little longer. But there’s no way on earth I’m staying three years until she retires as she suggested. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if the owner sells the company before then and she’s out of a job anyway. I get that she needs competent help but I hate every day I have to work at this place.
Has anyone ever been in a situation where a coworker was begging you to stay? Any suggestions on how to handle this tactfully and still have her as a reference if I ever need one? Thanks so much.
Share your insight
Join an authentic community that helps women support each other at work. Share your professional experience or ask for advice — you can even post anonymously.
15 Comments
Join the conversation