I have been struggling with my career journey and often find myself jealous of others that advance or get higher positions half my age (right out of college!).

17 Comments

1. Lesa Edwards, Career Coach & Master Resume WriterFebruary 13,2023 at 5:48PM UTC

   What question do you have around this issue? We're here to help!

2. AnonymousFebruary 16,2023 at 8:22PM UTC

   I often feel that I am not progressing quick enough, that I am running out of time, that I am not where I could be (comparing myself to others), realizing I am by own barrier, instead of shooting for the stars out of fear of failure, I shoot for what is comfortable and then I am frustrated, etc.

3. AnonymousFebruary 13,2023 at 6:45PM UTC

   Most people have some insecurities but those that figure out ways to overcome these challenges and really embrace the opportunities are those that succeed and grow.

   Your envy just tells you that there are self imposed challenges that you need to overcome. I would try and find a mentor and really dive into understanding what is holding you back. Why are you not growing and evolving. Where are your insecurities rooted? Therapy can help too if you are having trouble addressing your self confidence.

4. AnonymousFebruary 16,2023 at 8:19PM UTC

   The irony: Family and friends have always believed that I was confidence. I guess I wear it well in public but internally I struggle.

   These are all great points.

5. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistFebruary 13,2023 at 8:33PM UTC

   What kind of work have you been doing to help you get over your insecurities?

6. AnonymousFebruary 16,2023 at 8:12PM UTC

   I have a mentor that I speak with bi-weekly and we have gone over SMART goals and have shared some of my insecurities. I also look at blogs, listen to webinars, take free courses such as project management, etc.

7. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistFebruary 16,2023 at 11:46PM UTC

   Ok, and then what are you doing with that work you've been doing? What have you done to move your career forward?

8. AnonymousFebruary 15,2023 at 3:42PM UTC

   I definitely relate to this. Here's what I have observed and experienced. Young and often over confident folks always 'toot their own horn' boast about their accomplishments and make their ambitions known. While I have always found that behavior obnoxious, the reality is that it works. They leapfrog the humble, hard-working, experienced folks all the time. They are also often really tuned into office politics and know what's happening, coming up, and how to leverage themselves into what they want. Sadly, advancement is often more about these tactics and 'playing the game' then simply excelling at your role. It's a lot to process. My suggestion is find an authentic way to make your ambition known and how you can share your unique abilities and knowledge to move forward in your company. Also start looking for opportunities outside of your company at a higher level. You may need a fresh start and a new environment to showcase what you have to offer. Best of luck.

9. AnonymousFebruary 16,2023 at 9:35PM UTC

   I agree with you, albeit the part about "playing the game". Playing the game is going to the golf/poker tournament and buddying up. Being direct about your goals, ambitions, and asking for the pathway to get there from your leadership is not playing the political game, it's taking your career seriously and into your own hands. You have to be self driven to get promoted. The glaring thing that stands out to me in this post is the reference to glowing performance reviews, but no mention of the conversations that built up to those reviews. If this person wants to be promoted, why are they not communicating this? Why do they not already have a plan in place with their manager about their growth to discuss throughout the year? The employee has to take the initiative; some people want to grow and some people want to stay, and they need to tell their manager which of those people they are to actually gain any foothold.Figure out what you want to do.Communicate to your manager what you want to do.Request their feedback about their perspective on what skills you can develop to get there.Develop those skills.Demonstrate those skills in a consistent manner (backed with examples and/or data including consistent 1:1 check ins).Ask for the promotion/raise.If yes, great work! If no, ask your manager what gaps are left that you have not fulfilled to obtain said promotion.Take feedback & rinse/repeat or look for a new job that you should now feel qualified for.

   ETA: I know you weren't equating this work with playing the game fully, but I had to read your comment a couple of times to be sure, and didn't want others to get tripped up by that.

10. AnonymousFebruary 15,2023 at 5:51PM UTC

    I don’t have any advice, but I just wanted to commiserate that I’m in my mid-40’s and can definitely relate. My big wake-up call happened a few years ago when my team hired a young, talented guy who was a few years out of college and was assigned to me as a direct report to mentor…and I saw that he was only making $10k less than me, when I’d been in the field for 20 years.

11. Julie EFebruary 16,2023 at 6:26PM UTC

    I would consider asking for a raise. Do some research and find out the market rate for your position. The answer is always no until you ask.

12. AnonymousFebruary 16,2023 at 4:50PM UTC

    Take control of your own destiny, you are suffering from imposter syndrome. : <<Impostor syndrome, also known as impostor phenomenon or impostorism, is a psychological occurrence in which an individual doubts their skills, talents, or accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud.>>

    You are capable, you just have to find the path to believe in yourself and to ask for what you want. If your work is not fulfilling to you perhaps its time to take some classes, feed your brain find another purpose - maybe outside of work. Then plot your strategy for getting to a goal. Goal setting could be the best way to become what you hope to be. Find a mentor perhaps even someone younger that has gone where you have not and find out how they got there and what tools they used to achieve that success. Mentor someone on a lower rung than you and that could help you too. Take some risks, find a need, fill the need and do something that scares you. It will give you strength.

13. AnonymousFebruary 16,2023 at 8:07PM UTC

    That imposter syndrome definitely resonates with me. The sentence that stood out the most to me was "do something that scares you". Wow! That was a scary sentence. lol

14. Julie EFebruary 16,2023 at 6:30PM UTC

    I so get this and I agree with others, you have to be boastful, make your ambitions known and don’t be afraid of change and challenge. One thing I’ve started doing is tracking my skills and accomplishments. We often don’t realize what we all we ate capable of doing. Good luck! I’m there with you.

15. AnonymousFebruary 16,2023 at 7:38PM UTC

    Thank you! I was just thinking this morning: I need to recall my strengths and capabilities on a regularly basis. Even put it on a wall so I can basically stay encourage that I am valuable to REMIND myself.

16. AyianFebruary 16,2023 at 8:03PM UTC

    Most promotions and pay raises come from career moves. Respond to the market accordingly.

17. Liz MilneFebruary 20,2023 at 6:34PM UTC

    Take a confidence course - all those seemingly secure people are probably faking it madly until they make it! Learn to do the same and you'll see the changes you want to :)