Is it just me or did becoming a mother really change how you viewed your career?

4 Comments

1. AnonymousMay 21,2024 at 2:17PM UTC

   I didn't really start my career until around the same time I had my daughter - and I was of 'advanced maternal age' when that occurred (38 and I'm now 51). I actually do love what I do (HR) although my job can be a bit stressful at times. I make time for me, for family, and for vacations. I want to continue to be an example for my daughter and continue to encourage her to find something she loves doing.

2. AnonymousMay 21,2024 at 3:49PM UTC

   Except for "filler jobs" while looking for career jobs, I can't say I've had jobs I didn't love. Yes, there were some horrendous managers at times, and, at times, the people I worked with were not pleasant, but I did love the work. I have always been the primary breadwinner, so not working has never been an option, and having children didn't change my view. The one thing I never compromised on, however, was being committed to the work I did. If you are this unhappy and becoming a full-time mom is not an option, have you considered a career pivot to something else? Perhaps something as more of an IC than a manager? If your company doesn't have anything you can transfer to, you can always look elsewhere.

3. AnonymousMay 21,2024 at 4:25PM UTC

   I found with having kids I slowed down on my ambitious plans. While I still had a good income, I became seriously content with a individual contributor role and passed on stepping up to managing teams of people. I liked the control and predictability of being focused on my own deliverables and seldom taking on additional work. I wanted my days to be very 8 to 5. Lunches were usually selfcare walking groups or errands and I was off at 5 period. I chose jobs that accommodated flexibility for kids programs and pickups. My family needed my and my husband's focus. So fancy vacations gave way to camping trips and beach get aways over long weekends to make room for field trips via school outings.

   Once my kids very away at college I embarked on my more ambitious career plans to make more money with my more work. I never expected to keep career pace with my childless peers. I was very aware that my priorities were mine and those required decisions that delayed my progress in my career. It was never a regret but a choice.

4. AnonymousMay 21,2024 at 6:29PM UTC

   This is 100% me, I spent a year looking for a step down to an IC level and just couldn't get anyone to take me seriously so I ended up after a year+ job hunt taking another people manager role and it started very 9-5 and everyone is very accommodating to family and kids but its draining now a few months in and its creeping past 5 a lot more and I feel myself checking my work email and not able to balance - I am not only responsible for my own work but the work of those I manage and its hard when I want to clock off at 5 and focus on my family. I probably need to get better at balance but I also feel I just don't want this pace of life anymore and I don't want to be responsible for anyone but me and my family.