Need advice on how to deal with a difficult team member.

Anonymous

May 7,2022 at 3:28PM UTC

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Need advice on how to deal with a difficult team member.

About 9 months ago I was brought onto a new team to assist the senior manager in leading, training and handling the day to day issues that come up-keep the team of 3 team members functioning and our new client happy. This was an informal leadership role to help me gain experience managing employees as well as take a large load off this Sr’s plate. (Also important to note all team members EXCEPT the Sr are female with very diverse backgrounds from where they live to age to race).

Everything was great for the first few weeks and on a scheduled team meeting employee A and employee B got into an argument. The Sr. Didn’t step in to diffuse or reduce tensions and I ended up breaking up the non-productive rhetoric/direction that the conversation was taking.

over the next weeks employee A and B continued to have issues which were typically instigated/escalated by employee B; during that time we limited the amount of interaction between team mates to try to focus them on learning their new roles as well as the client needs and our company culture. 3 months into training employee B told the Sr. That they no longer wanted to have our one on one meetings with me as I was not their manager and they didn’t want to receive tasks from me to complete, only from the Sr. This included training sessions that were scheduled with the whole team so that they would receive the same training and we could build their knowledge/skill level to be more comfortable in their role. We also had to limit contact between employee A and B at this time due to the animosity and Employee B sending employee A an email insinuating Employee A was illiterate and that she needed to learn how to read on an item Employee A asked for an update on.- I can’t make this up.

Employee B also got the Sr. To allow them to work “off shift” hours (hourly employee) so that they could focus on a training program they were going through with the military, employee B would reach out rarely for assistance from me in learning how to complete tasks or help with the systems.

In February after asking Employee for an update on a task that they were working (really busy work so that we could justify the hours they were doing with no client support interaction and we needed this task completed that no one had the time to do during operating hours) she went to the Sr. and said that she felt I was being disrespectful to her and that I was not her supervisor and she was hired by the Sr she didn’t want to speak with me about work any longer- ok; this makes it difficult to provide project updates to sr. Leadership but we will roll with it.

at this time she was assigned a critical project to work on as she had the time with the shift she was working on.

During the last couple of months whenever I would ask her to help with a problem or supplier she would respond that I needed to do my own work and that she “was very busy with her special project”.

Lets fast forward to this week, my Sr was on PTO and explicitly told the team that I would be the person leading the team and to basically step up if I needed them to help run the account.

This last Tuesday the employee send me a Team message informing me that she didn’t take a lunch so she was going to leave an hour early. I responded that I heard her (Copy) and reminded her that as an hourly employee she needs to make sure she takes her lunch UNLESS she has prior written approval from Leadership to not take it (the Sr. had told her multiple times she could not do this and had been documenting it), - she informed me that she didn’t need my approval and she was leaving early and just letting me know if I needed her (this was in writing in Teams); a little while later we had an emergency and needed an item from the special project she has been working for the past 4 1/2 months- she didn’t respond so I called her to get the information to which she sent me to voice mail (not the first time that day). I sent her several requests through Teams as well as called back to back as I needed the information for a meeting with Sr leadership to discuss the problem and they were looking to our team to save the day. She then sent an email to the Sr Manager for the team about harassment, how unprofessional I am and that I have “low emotion” (she is not a native English speaker) with a screenshot of my multiple call attempts.

the Sr ended up calling me to find out what was going on and while I was explaining she called back (20 mins later and to late for the emergency meeting we had). I pulled her into the call with the Sr where she proceeded to yell about how unprofessional I was, that she was no longer willing to speak or work with me and how I am always unprofessional to her, she has the recordings to prove it, and that she would only speak with the Sr from now on.

Anytime I tried to speak or say anything she would talk over me, refuse to let me finish a sentence or get more then a “this is” before she would jump in again.

I will fully admit that this was a heated call and the Sr. Just sat there until I asked them to intervene at which point he told her to log out and they would speak in the morning.

I ended up writing up exactly what had happened over the past few days along with email items that were sent to her that she ignored, the full team conversation which has me begging her to answer her phone prior to the meeting and the screen shots of where I had tried calling back to back to speak to her.

In my write up I asked to have this escalated to HR along with a copy of the recordings of our past conversations for HR to review and and advise if I was rude or disrespectful to her and how I could improve if I had been.

My Sr has tried to keep this from being sent to HR and has been trying to play on the fact that I recently received a promotion and was leaving the team in a week anyway so it wasn’t needed. I pushed and made sure that it went to the HR department for my account as the employee has a track record of treating co-worked this way and it needed to be documented for when it happens with other team mates.

HR has been brought in at this point however they have yet to speak with me or let me know they received my concern (I will follow up directly Monday to ensure that it was indeed sent in). The Sr advised that he let employee B know an official complaint was filed and her response was to “thank me” and “motivate” her- I am personally taking this as a threat for retaliation where he was trying to spin it as appreciation from her and a compliment/sincere apology ?

Yesterday the Sr asked Employee C to help her with a task and they had issues as well as Employee B told her to not tell her how to do the job…..

Anyway-

Should I be concerned that this will negatively impact my new promotion (per my Sr when trying to get me to take it back)

Was I correct in reporting this to ensure it was documented to help with any future issues that may arise with other co-workers so that it shows the history and unprofessionalism Employee B has exhibited over the past 9 months.

Was I justified? I have NEVER escalated an issue with an employee in 25 years so am feeling guilty about it.

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AnonymousMay 7,2022 at 3:48PM UTC
I’m sorry I don’t have any advice for you. I need to follow this story though! Wishing you the best of luck and hopefully someone on this forum is from HR and can provide some good advice!
AnonymousMay 7,2022 at 5:25PM UTC
I am sorry this situation is difficult.
i would say that HR folks on this forum might have thoughts on next steps.
Also make sure to document, document, document.
in terms of whether you were justified to go to HR ( which I think is your question here), only you can answer that.
what is your ‘why’? i.e. what is the outcome of this that will give you closure?
it sounds like you were given this additional responsibility to gain managerial experience, this is a great learning opportunity for you.
i recommend some books : No hard feelings by Liz and Mollie, Crucial conversations and Non-violent communication.
Also, mentorship is extremely useful in a career, sites like this help and I suggest you pay attention in or outside your workplace for those who could be good mentors and champions.
AnonymousMay 7,2022 at 7:45PM UTC
Yup you are justified. You documented and had back up. She has been getting away with this for a long time because her/your boss doesn’t want to deal with the fallout and you don’t want this to bite you in the ass. This shouldn’t impact your new position, but will impact how the next person she tries to bully responds.
It always makes me wonder what someone, B in this case, has over upper management that she is allowed to behave this way and cause problems when it is so unnecessary.
AnonymousMay 7,2022 at 9:20PM UTC
Your manager is not really being the support system that you need.
This happens often with people who are top talent, promoted but then only to be demoted, it is not because they did anything wrong, but bc they did not get the direct support they needed from their manager.
To answer your question: Since you was going to leave in a week, you should have held off the complaint. You should have let your promotion play out and if employee B ever had to work for you or in some capacity on your team, you do not have to keep them in that position. If you can revoke the complaint, do so.
Often times when someone is promoted to mgt or partially promoted to team lead, alot of jealousy and bitterness ensues from their former peers and often times a power struggle as indicated by employee B. When you brought it to your attention to your manager that this employee is causing problems on your team, she should have supported you in addressing the situation. When employee B wanted to avoid meetings with you, your manager has the right to require that employee B meet with whomever she tells her too. If it is a performance meeting, since you are a team lead, she could have you present with employee B to discuss her behavior issue, especially since you had to get involved to break up the several situations.
These are all the types of things that should be taking place from a manager who is truly supportive. All it would have taken is a joint meeting between the 3 of you for your manager to reinforce that you are an extension of her authority, and that employee B needs to respect it. But she did not.
My advice is if you can pursue leadership that does not involve the current manager who definitely does not have your back. It was up to her to help nip in the bud before things even escalated to HR. She did not do enough to gain control of the situation.
AnonymousMay 11,2022 at 12:00PM UTC
English is not the native language might be a clue here. Many cultures handle these situations in a manner which is not "professional" in the American sense, by verbally escalating things to a point that many Americans are uncomfortable with and/or showing respect by ways which do not translate into respect in another culture. Bribery, for instance, or not looking at a supervisor in the eye, or yelling over someone else, or not thinking that rules are meant to be followed, or saying the exact opposite of what they are actually going to do - those are all communication strategies which do not translate well into American culture but which are "professional" in some of the areas I've lived in. Without knowing the culture that this employee comes from, I cannot say for sure, but I have lived in places where escalating the problem to the next level is considered motivation to change and that is considered a reason to thank a person. The basis there is that negative action is what drives change, not positive reinforcement. Positive words are viewed as irrelevant and insincere, and boundaries are to be tested until action is taken by management. And yes, she/he may come back at you later with some sort of negative reinforcement for you, but with the incident documented, you are probably going to be fine because you are in the US system (presumably). This does not excuse her behavior but it gives you some perspective. If the Sr that you mention is the same culture, then I would trust his/her judgement that the employee is not going to retaliate.