I have an interview with HR this afternoon and I'm not in a good place.

24 Comments

1. Michelle LadyOctober 28,2024 at 5:03PM UTC

   It is hard to continue to get knocked down but I promise each interview gets you closer to an offer.

   start keeping a list of daily wins - maybe add one or two each day and review the list often - you are not your employment status!

   you bring lots to the table these are trying times!

2. AnonymousOctober 28,2024 at 5:05PM UTC

   I think you need to find ways to embrace your life. By that I mean surround yourself with positive people. Don't talk about work. Concentrate on hobbies, interests, film, music. Anything to make you feel alive and connected. Stay in the present with meditation. Fear is based on the unknown so stay as far away from focusing on the future as possible. You can't control the future and using the past disappointment to color your future is just a recipe for disasters. Staying in the present is well within your control.

   So understand that a new job will happen. Practice gratitude for all you have ( health, people you care about and a roof over your head to name a few).

3. AnonymousOctober 28,2024 at 5:28PM UTC

   Most importantly, you need to take care of yourself. I had a 4-month period of unemployment beginning of 2022 (and I had started my job search about 6 months prior to that). I did not have savings to fall back on...I actually dipped into my 401k months before I left that company because I could see it coming and I was not happy there and had to get out (take my advice...do NOT dip into a 401k, that was a hard learned lesson). But yes, take care of yourself. Only dedicate so much time a day to your job search. Create a schedule for you: walk outside, exercise, journaling, meeting up with friends, meditation, etc. Learn to not take rejection to heart (tough, I know...it's really tough), if you made it to the interview round in the first place, that means you are doing something right, you are qualified and if it falls threw, you don't get that offer...believe that there is a reason for that and there is something better for you out there.

4. AnonymousNovember 1,2024 at 12:08PM UTC

   I dipped in my 401k, what is the problem with that, besides paying taxes and fees on it? We all have to do what we need to do!

5. AnonymousOctober 28,2024 at 5:53PM UTC

   Maybe play "what's the worst that could happen?"

   The WORST that can happen is that you do not get the job BUT you will get practice interviewing for the job that is coming that is for you.

   The BEST that can happen is that you get the job and it is awesome.

   Give yourself a few minutes to think about the worst scenario. Does it put you in a significantly worse place than you are right now? Nope. It does not.

   Then, take a big breathe and now that you have faced your fears allow yourself to think of how you fit their needs apart from that fear and remember the BEST thing to happen is a possibility too.

   (This is what I do every interview. It calms me down).

6. AnonymousOctober 28,2024 at 7:55PM UTC

   I was there years ago. Had worked for years, was top in my profession, but interviewed and didn't find a job because they wanted someone younger, or "moldable" as one company told me. Which is dumb. But whatever. But for some reason, I just started thinking, this is exhausting, and I'm so tired of doing this. But every day, turned into weeks, into months, into a year and a half! Then, out of nowhere, my job I'm in now was advertised, I interviewed and within a week I had an offer. That was over 13 years ago. Know this, each day is a new day and each day offers new hope. DO NOT give up, no matter what. Give your self grace, and also, give yourself a break. It may simply be taking a walk, doing yoga, going to the library (they have all kinds of free things), or vegging out watching a movie. Whatever that looks like for you, do that. Then the next day, go back to work seeking. That door WILL open, you just watch. :-)

7. AnonymousOctober 29,2024 at 3:09AM UTC

   OP: Thank you all! Your advice helped and I calmed down and breathed before my interview. I might have done enough to make the next round but I won't find out for two weeks. Still more rounds ahead but your advice made a big difference.

8. AnonymousOctober 29,2024 at 2:27PM UTC

   Great news, crossing my fingers for you!

9. AnonymousOctober 30,2024 at 1:38PM UTC

   GOOD LUCK!!

10. AnonymousOctober 30,2024 at 12:34AM UTC

    I've been there. What got me through was hooking up with the local community mental health services. It may take a while to get an appointment, and may not be as regular as you like them to be, but it was a lifesaver for me.

11. AnonymousNovember 1,2024 at 8:16PM UTC

    It is hard. I've been in a similar situation. I felt like they could hear my desperation and if I wanted the job they may think I want any job available and it was difficult to project the difference. What worked for me was to remind myself that these may be my future coworkers. So I stopped thinking of it like an interview and started taking and answering questions like I was at a conference meeting peers and answering their questions. I could share ideas and wins in my field and also asked about their needs and success. It became more natural and conversational. They were meeting the real me, the professional me, not me experiencing anxiety. The me they would experience as a peer and coworker.

12. AnonymousNovember 2,2024 at 12:11PM UTC

    My advice to you, and all job seekers, is to care less!

    READ:

    "Caring Less Would Greatly Benefit Your Job Search"

    https://www.thedailyscrumnews.com/caring-less-would-greatly-benefit-your-job-search/

13. Maggie StoneNovember 2,2024 at 12:29PM UTC

    To the OP: I am glad that you had the interview and remained calm. It's awesome that you have some coping (breathing, exercising.) I have been through long and exhausting job searches; they suck. So take good care of yourself. I am a Therapist, so I wanted to pass along some tools to help in the future. The grounding techniques will help keep you calm and centered, and the radical acceptance will help you have perspective. There you go, free therapy. I wish you the best of luck.

    Grounding Techniques:/https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/grounding-techniquesRadical Acceptance:

14. kay JackNovember 2,2024 at 2:11PM UTC

    I feel this personally about the savings ( I keep beating myself up for enjoying my severance TOO much ) . However you can find a part time in the interim - you just have to find a place that will give you a chance . I am not young or retired and received 4 part time job offers

15. AnonymousNovember 2,2024 at 2:28PM UTC

    Hello friend! Thanks for pouring your heart out and I know the interview is over because this post is late. I just want to encourage you to never give up because the alternative is not that comforting, since we cannot tell the future, hope is all we have to look to, we don’t always get things when we need them to happen but fake the confidence till you make it. Persistence is key and keep searching and never give up. Listen to feedback from these interviews and use them to make changes as you move forward. Good luck

16. AnonymousNovember 2,2024 at 2:49PM UTC

    Wishing you the best of luck on your interview!

    I am currently in your situation and the best thing that has happened to me was a job coach who found me through LinkedIn. She is free and paid by her corporate clients. Seek one out!

17. AnonymousNovember 3,2024 at 2:25PM UTC

    Hello,

    Thank you for sharing. I am in the same situation. I resigned from my job almost 3 months ago because the culture was unhealthy and at times toxic. It's very hard to stay positive when you see your savings dwindling and there's so much uncertainty. This where I lean into my faith. Finding the right job is my job right now and so I work hard to block out anything negative that causes doubt. It's going to happen for you. Please keep your foot on the gas and don't be afraid to try something different. Keep your faith.

18. Bill RoseenNovember 3,2024 at 3:05PM UTC

    I hope that by the time you read this, your interview has gone well! Either way, I have experience with this problem. It has happened to me and also to lots of people I know or have worked with. Two quick ideas that can be helpful when feeling discouraged about job prospects. 1) Find someone else you can help. Maybe you write a positive review or endorsement for one of your former colleagues or you call another friend who is having a hard time. Be there for them and listen. Try to offer them encouragement and you will soon be feeling better yourself! 2) Get outside! Most of us spend our whole day inside looking at internet job descriptions and it's easy to forget that the sun is shining or the leaves are changing outside. Go out every day and get fresh air. Take a walk around near your home. Smile at children playing or the neighborhood dogs. The positive energy will sink into your mind and heart.

    Best of luck!

19. AnonymousNovember 4,2024 at 5:10AM UTC

    Yes! 100% agree!!

20. Bridgette MNovember 3,2024 at 5:13PM UTC

    So many of us have been there.

    I agree with the positive vibes and taking care of yourself. Get dressed every day. Don't hang around in jammies, sweats, etc. Go out of the house every day. Walk around the block, walk around the mall. Just move, outside of your four walls.

    Do some mock interviews using your phone. Actually use your phone to do this. Pull up interview questions and ask them to yourself. Then, talk into your phone as if you're answering the interviewer.

    Unfortunately, I am reading people who are going through 100s of interviews before landing a job. Do a retail gig to help the hemorrhaging bank account as that's easily explained if it comes up in an interview. Best of luck.

21. AnonymousNovember 4,2024 at 5:09AM UTC

    Agree except walking around the mall and applying to retail stores (poster mentioned none in her area).

22. Bridgette MNovember 4,2024 at 6:28PM UTC

    That was mostly part of the habit of getting out of the house. Indeed and snag a job are good for PT work.

    Also, outside of the typical search engines search local utilities websites, hospitals, local government, etc. They often post on their own websites and not on job boards

23. MiaNovember 4,2024 at 12:07AM UTC

    Consider how valuable you are and what you can bring to this organization because you believe in you and so many others believe in you too! Reflect on all the accomplishments you’ve made professionally and personally. Think about what you’re grateful for and how many others you’ve made impact on.! You got this!

24. Jessica FerlandNovember 4,2024 at 3:04PM UTC

    Sometimes a little reframing can help. Interviews are as much for your benefit as the company's. They are looking for the right fit and you are doing the same. They may or may not make an offer, but you may also learn during the interview process that they are not right for you.

    If there is ever an opportunity, perhaps follow up with the recruiter or HR to get feedback on your interview? It may not be you, it could very much be an issue on their end. Maybe the job was cancelled or something.