DISCUSSIONS

I left my previous position after 15 years and have been working as a Commercial Manager since 2023.

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Anonymous

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I left my previous position after 15 years and have been working as a Commercial Manager since 2023.

Recently, I received a disappointing performance review that caught me off guard. I have another review scheduled in 30 days, but I am facing challenges with my manager, who has expressed a reluctance to take on managerial responsibilities. Instead, they have advised me to independently determine how to improve my performance.

In my role, I oversee a team of six individuals, five of whom are over the age of 50 and have been with the organization for 30 to 40 years. I’m 37 .This includes my boss's mother, who is 79. My boss's superior would like to see her replaced, but I am aware that terminating her employment based on age would constitute age discrimination.

Additionally, she has openly expressed her boredom to other employees and has not proactively sought assistance from colleagues. Unfortunately, she frequently undermines my authority by bringing minor issues directly to my boss. I have made multiple requests for her to approach me first when she encounters difficulties or feels overwhelmed. Anything suggests on how to deal?

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  1. Anonymous

    This is a hard one, but you are a professional. Request for professionalism from both your boss and her/his mother. Focus on the KPI, and give feedback on those. Monitor your performance. Are you achieving your goals? If so highlight them and be proactive in shining a bright light on how good you are doing your job to your boss. Do a PowerPoint presentation of what your team has done and show metrics. You got this!

  2. Anonymous

    Is there a nepotism policy at your organization? I don’t like to guess so why does age seem to be an issue? I have a few follow up questions but need clarity on these 1st

  3. Anonymous

    There isn’t one.

  4. Anonymous

    Document everything in case you need to defend yourself.

  5. Pamela Baptiste

    What a bummer. But they threw the ball in YOUR court to improve your performance. Do what you have to do.

  6. Erin Ramirez

    Is there maybe a more suitable position for your bosses mom? WTH?? She doesn’t need to be working she needs to be enjoying her life. However, my MIL is the same way at the age of 90.

    Be professional but also have empathy and remember we all are going to be 79 someday.

  7. Anonymous

    I wish that was an option but she’s being here for 40 years . I can’t fire her for age discrimination .but she isn’t as sharp as she once was.

  8. JB09718

    Seems two issues at play if I’m reading correctly:

    1) disappointing review. I would write up clear attainable goals to improve performance. Focus on things you can measure and provide data on or things you can provide evidence you completed. Ask to check in/meet with your boss halfway through to make sure you’re on the right track so you’re not caught off guard again. I would also have a contingency plan in place, resume updated etc. should your follow up in 30 days also goes poorly.

    2) difficulties managing your boss’s mother. Move toward email communication so you have documentation/paper trail. If she continues to strain your team, I would claim there’s a conflict of interest having her in a reporting line with her son and see if she can be placed elsewhere.

  9. Maggie Soldano

    This is a tricky situation, but focus on what you can control.

    Since your boss is hands-off, draft up a clear, measurable list of improvements you can make based on that performance review. (If you need help, drop it into ChatGPT and ask for its recommendations.) This is a good thing — you get to decide how you tackle improvements. That's a gift.

    Age is just a number, and by even referencing it, you're falling into the age discrimination trap. There are great resources out there for managing across generations (up or down), be proactive and take age out of the equation. You'll be their age soon enough.

    As for the leap-frogging, mom's likely addressing her boredom by chatting with her son/daughter and feels entitled to that familial attention. Don't take that personally. Just let your boss know you'd like an opportunity to address the person's concerns before they do, and loop it back to their ask... as it will help improve your performance.

  10. Anonymous

    Sadly, it seems you've been put in a no-win situation...

    And placed on PIP with a 30 day follow up when they've already made their decision.

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