Am I horrible for wanting to leave a job after a few months?

Anonymous

December 15,2022 at 1:42PM UTC

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Am I horrible for wanting to leave a job after a few months? I started a new job a few months ago and was notified of another opportunity this week which is what I wanted from the start of my job search. I am going to apply and if I get there, going to interview, but is it wrong of me to leave and start a new job again? The current job I have been in for a few months has been awful. I am a new team lead, new to the team, program, and company so I have a lot to learn. I also have a new team member who is later in his career and has zero respect for me as a person. I know as a leader I would have to earn and deserve his respect but the fact I am a young woman makes him not respect me. He has made comments about my schedule several times, disrespected his wife countless times, asks who takes care of my baby randomly, said “good job” to me when I got him info he asked for, etc. I also want to work from home as I was 100% remote but the program wants as many people as possibly on-site for as much as possible. I am miserable sitting in the office all day every day next to this disrespectful man.

The new opportunity is with the Air Force which my husband is active duty so that means a lot to me! It also has up to 80% remote work which is a great balance for me. I would be working in a more familiar organization that is similar to my old job (which I did like!) but more along the lines of what I was looking to do this time around. It is less money but I believe I would be happier.

I am feeling so guilty for even considering this opportunity after just starting this one.

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Paulla Fetzek, MSEdDecember 15,2022 at 1:56PM UTC
Congratulations on the opportunity!
You shouldn't feel bad at all, but it speaks volumes for your professional character that you do!
When you get the other job (not if - we're manifesting it here!), you could simply tell your current job that another opportunity that's aligned more with your professional experience and values has come along.
All the best!
AnonymousDecember 15,2022 at 2:01PM UTC
No nothing is wrong with being happy in your career. If you find an opportunity that fits your requirements more don’t lose the chance to go for it. If you do get the new job, give your old job appropriate notice so they can train someone new. Remember have a good explanation of why you switched jobs and leave in positive terms cuz future employers may refer to your previous jobs as a reference. During the interview process, you may be asked why you’re leaving so soon. Have a good answer so you don’t seem flighty but a potential good fit for the job. Good luck and I hope you get it!
Laura BrowneDecember 15,2022 at 2:15PM UTC
Go for it. It's not wrong to leave. Your current job does not sound like a good fit. You need to work at a job that is right for you.
AnonymousDecember 15,2022 at 2:48PM UTC
Life is too short --- please go for the job you want. If nothing else, do it for your general wellbeing.
Your excitement and happiness shines through when you "talk" (or rather typed lol) about it in this thread. Go for it. Congratulations in advance!
Also thank you to your family, especially, your husband for his military service!
Michelle S.December 15,2022 at 3:21PM UTC
You are absolutely not horrible. WhileI think it makes your life a little more difficult, at least for a certain period of time, to switch jobs like that, I think that as long as you have a job and you were going to work every day, it doesn’t matter if you have 15 jobs by the end of the year, You are working and you’re trying to find what you love. I don’t know what else you can do to find happiness in life. I suggest keep moving, and then one day, you’ll find where you know you are meant to be for a while. Good luck!
Mystery MysteryDecember 15,2022 at 6:38PM UTC
Your answer is in your question. If you get the new job you want definitely leave the job you just started. Always, always do what is healthy and a better life for you. Don't be too nice! By that I mean being too nice to everyone else but you
AnonymousDecember 16,2022 at 12:32AM UTC
Opportunity to grow and work in an area that is more aligned with what you want to pursue is great.
Don't get too ahead of yourself and weigh any written offer at the time you actually receive it. If you feel too guilty to leave then find the positive in your current job and stay.
AnonymousDecember 16,2022 at 2:43AM UTC
I felt this at my current job. I have been there almost 3 years. I’m having issues leaving. Like will a new job be just as toxic.
Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistDecember 16,2022 at 7:29AM UTC
Guilty about what? Wanting a better job? That company could lay you off tomorrow and never think twice about it.
I promise you, neither your boss nor your team members have ever, WILL ever say "gee, I'd love to take this great new job, but I would feel so guilty leaving anonymous."
Never. Going. To. Happen.
They'll get over it. Trust me on that.
You have to do what makes you happy. Well, first you have to believe you deserve to be happy.
Do NOT let any of this bother you or give it one single second more of bandwidth in your brain. Forget about it - don't look back, use your energy to look forward to the exciting new opportunity you have in front of you.
GOOD LUCK ON YOUR NEW ADVENTURE!!!!!!
Liz MilneDecember 16,2022 at 1:48PM UTC
The only thing i don't understand is why you have even a slight doubt about leaving: you hate it, your subordinate shows you huge disrespect, and you have to be in-office when you would rather not be. Run to the other job and don't look back!
AnonymousDecember 16,2022 at 3:18PM UTC
Do not feel guilty at all. If you don’t like the job and makes you miserable then best to go for a job that makes you happy! Go for it and don’t look back! The more you stay in a job you dislike or surrounded by disrespectful people the more it starts to wear you down and affect your mental health and happiness. Apply for the new job go for the interviews and wishing you best of luck and hope you can get out of there soon!
Sophia KellyDecember 17,2022 at 5:32AM UTC
I always ask myself WWAMD. What would a man do? You kbow the answer.
AnonymousDecember 17,2022 at 1:28PM UTC
Remember this: your company would lay you off in a heartbeat if their needs as an employer change. You know this, deep down. Do NOT hesitate! Make the choice that is right for you and your family!
AnonymousDecember 17,2022 at 1:30PM UTC
You should always try - don’t self edit!
But that being said, I was in your same boat about a year ago and I applied for another job right away - already knew my new job just wasn’t for me— and I managed to get an interview for the job I applied for and go through three interviews with that company. Unfortunately, ultimately they decided I would be great for the job, but was too much of a risk to hire because I was leaving my current job so quickly.
The last interview I had (with an old White man who went through his whole work history to introduce himself, had managed to stay at every job he’d ever had for at least 10 years or more! How nice life worked out for him in that way!!). But he was definitely the nail in my coffin for that opportunity and I didn’t get it. I’m just pointing this out because you should be aware that there are definitely people that will have reservations about you, but you should still try.
Jackie GhedineDecember 17,2022 at 1:41PM UTC
The only person you need to be loyal to is yourself! If they had to cut jobs tomorrow, they wouldn't think about you only being there for a few months.
Go after what you want, without apology. Loyal to your needs as a professional woman. it will be the best decision you make. Promise.
Jennifer TannerDecember 17,2022 at 2:01PM UTC
Doesn't hurt to keep looking. It's a job not a marriage, after all. The other position may not work out -- no need to close the door on the opportunity yourself before you even apply. Never feel guilty about leaving behind an employer, esp when doing what is best for you, your family, your paycheck, and your career.
Loyalty isn't about staying just because everyone thinks you should. And organizations aren't people so they're incapable of loyalty to their employees anyway. They can and will let people go regardless of circumstances if it's in THEIR best interest. You're way more important as an individual human being than an organizational entity.
AnonymousDecember 17,2022 at 2:38PM UTC
Let go of the guilt! Recognize that you are deserving of what best suits you - being unhappy in your current role will not do. Go for the interview!
Vivian LeeDecember 17,2022 at 4:14PM UTC
It’s not wrong to leave the job for a better opportunity, especially as you described how the first 3 months have been awful.
AnonymousDecember 17,2022 at 4:28PM UTC
You're not horrible. That guy is. You have a chance for a much better opportunity, GO FOR IT!!
Sarah GoldenDecember 17,2022 at 4:43PM UTC
Just do it don't work for someone who's disrespectful! Go for it sounds like the other job is a better fit.
AnonymousDecember 17,2022 at 9:04PM UTC
Don't feel guilty. It's your life and your career. If it was reversed, and the company wasn't happy with you after a few months, they wouldn't hesitate to let you go. We're programed to believe we need to be loyal to the companies we work for and then experience guilt when we want to leave. That loyalty is often one-sided. Do what's best for you. It doesn't matter how long you've been there.
Rocky ZDecember 17,2022 at 10:04PM UTC
Never feel guilty for doing what is right for you in any area in life-a valuable lesson I learned the hard way.
DeBorah WalkerDecember 18,2022 at 12:43AM UTC
I'm confused. You have all these complaints and you're asking if it's wrong of you to leave that job. Run for the hills to the better opportunity don't even think about it.
Lisa MarieDecember 18,2022 at 11:17AM UTC
@Deborah my thoughts exactly!
Lisa MarieDecember 18,2022 at 11:16AM UTC
No reason to feel guilty when the choice is to do something positive for yourself. PERIOD.