I had a very disappointing interview experience.

Anonymous

September 19,2021 at 12:54PM UTC

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I had a very disappointing interview experience. First, I’ve been a technical business professional for 20 years. I am consistently high performing, very experienced, firm and professional. I am a director level manager of global market segment.

I was approached by a global company about a director role for their largest market segment 2 months ago. I was very excited after reading about the company and researching the role. I had 6 very good interviews (global) with other executives and HR always offered positive feedback.

When I got to an interview with 1 VP in Europe, the tone changed. From the start, the women was very negative, critical, condescending. She described me as too nice, not aggressive and connected my teeth were not showing. I explained through different scenarios how I successfully overcame crisis and difficult issues with my teams- often collaborating with my counterparts and teams - in other words, I do not alienate people to get what I want. I am very aggressive- I push and have high expectations but I’ve learned to work with people to reach the best outcome. After the first interview, she described me as weak and said there would be follow up.

The follow up was a technical and financial case study- a scenario I’ve managed before and was excited to present. I felt my response was analytical, strategic, firm and protected the business while recovering sales revenues and protecting profitability. I reviewed it with other professionals ahead of time. I spoke for no more than 5 min before she started in on me, telling me I was a disappointment, totally not worthy of the role etc. I was shocked- I’ve never been spoken to this way, my work has never been received this way, and none of the other VP interviews resulted in negative feedback.

I know the answer is - move on, dodging a bullet, etc. I spent 2 months interviewing here. I wanted this role, I was so excited.

Has anyone had a similar experience where someone subjectivity judged you, and just didn’t like you resulting in a similar interview outcome? My confidence took a hit- I am taking all of her criticism as improvement points to noodle on but I am so shocked.

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Dawn S. CrossSeptember 19,2021 at 1:05PM UTC
Would you be reporting and/or working directly with this last person? If so, given the unflattering responses she has already had, I would run. It sounds like her mind is already made up.
If you won’t be working directly for/with her, I would continue with the interview process.
Keep in mind, you did not receive the same feedback from the other executives you interviewed with, so the “fault” lies with her.
Good luck.
AnonymousSeptember 19,2021 at 1:26PM UTC
I think you already know that you have dodged a bully by not working for a company that would allow/encourage/support that type of behavior in an interview. Imagine how terrible she would be if she played *any* role in your professional experiences. That said, I completely understand why it feels personal and impacts your confidence. Don’t let it. This woman doesn’t know you at all. She didn’t listen to you and decided before even trying to hear you that you weren’t what she wanted. That’s the sign of a bully and control freak and not a reflection on you. If that company allows her to torpedo candidates through personal attacks, they aren’t that great of company.
AnonymousSeptember 19,2021 at 2:31PM UTC
I agree. But why would she bother interviewing if she didn't want her? I hate employers anymore that waste time. Two months of this? I have been there, done that AND had people come back saying "we made a decision, why did you not wait on us?"
It's all dishearting and a joke anymore :(
Christy K. HanthornSeptember 19,2021 at 1:36PM UTC
I'm sorry you experienced this, and no, I've never been spoken to like that in an interview OR on the job. That person is a bully, and I simply cannot imagine working for her. Frankly, I'm surprised she's employed.
Sue Gordon- retired Career CoachSeptember 19,2021 at 2:11PM UTC
She was threatened by your competence. If you would have to work with her, I would run. She sounds like an unhappy human who wants to make others unhappy too.
AnonymousSeptember 19,2021 at 3:23PM UTC
I would ignore this woman's "feedback". She is the one with a personality problem. Lots of women who reach the top feel they have to be nasty, rude, ruthless and inflexible to make it in this male dominated world. For me, you sound like a breath of fresh air and I would have seen your approach as unique and collaborative - a definite strength. Don't let her doubt yourself. This is not someone you would want to work with. It's a blessing you see this now during the interview. Don't give her a second thought about your leadership approach and find a job where the people around you value your strength of getting this done without being the Wicked Witch!!
AnonymousSeptember 19,2021 at 9:57PM UTC
I know it's a hard the to do but I would try and accept that her reaction points to very deep personal issues she has and very little to do with you or your abilities. If she was the only one out of 7 people who has a completely different takeaway then it points to her being disgruntled and angry.
AnonymousSeptember 21,2021 at 1:22PM UTC
I had an interview a few months back for a role I was told the hiring manager was interested in speaking with me. From the minute I answered his call he was trying to catch me in a lie or prove I didn’t have the experience I said I had. He actually told me previous work I had done couldn’t have worked that way even though he ha don exposure and would have no way of knowing. He wasn’t listening and would barely let me even explain things. I should have ended the interview but I let it go and pretty much just stopped trying and gave one word answers. I didn’t ask any questions and immediately called the internal recruiter and told him what happened. He apologized, said he hadn’t worked with him before but wasn’t that surprised. He sent me an email later saying he reported the interviewer to HR. I still see this role show up on job searches. Interviewers like your woman and my guy are looking for someone who will bow down to them or something. It seems ridiculous but just be glad you dodged a bullet because working with her would be an even bigger nightmare. Know you are great and that your greatness threatened her. Good luck!
Audrey KirschSeptember 22,2021 at 1:07AM UTC
If you still want the job hang in to see the feedback from others you interviewed with. If this women is involved in any further interactions, immediately become silent if she starts in on you. When she stops her rant, let her know how unprofessional she has been and that you no longer want to interact in such an unproductive conversation. Don’t back down, but remain calm and confident in your skills. The company wouldn’t have invested this much time on you if they weren’t interested. She’s just a bump in the road.
AnonymousSeptember 22,2021 at 12:48PM UTC
I would wait to see if you get the offer but even if you do, I would think hard about taking the role if you will have to work closely with this woman. She doesn't seem to like you from what you described, and would make your job difficult.
Cyndy TrivellaSeptember 22,2021 at 12:50PM UTC
This is a strange but "interesting" situation that has me wondering about her behavior. I'm going to take an alternate view here. I have a different idea about her behavior for you to consider.
Do you think it's possible that she was acting this way to test your reaction? Based on how you describe the role, it appears that the best candidate is someone with extremely acute diplomatic abilities and business acumen. (You appear to have these skills.) Maybe her focus is that the person taking on the role must be a strong individual who will not buckle under heavy pressure, so she created an exaggerated situation to see how you'd react? I'm not entirely sure if the audience receiving your presentations are internal or external stakeholders but either way, it seems like the audience members may be challenging and with that, the person in this role must be firm and definitive.
Given they've invested a great deal of time in you and obviously have an interest, I have to wonder if this is what was going on with her.
Do you think this is a possibility?
Brandy TuckSeptember 22,2021 at 1:10PM UTC
I was thinking the same thing
AnonymousSeptember 22,2021 at 1:43PM UTC
I consider "testing" the same as playing games. If this is how an employer operates, I want nothing of it.
AnonymousSeptember 22,2021 at 1:00PM UTC
Hiring managers with negative mindsets or expecting the absolute perfect candidate seem to be in force lately. It is mind blowing some of the feedback or behavior that I have scene. It is also extremely discouraging to stay motivated.
AnonymousSeptember 22,2021 at 1:12PM UTC
Even if she's "testing" you and that seems like a smart guess, this woman plays psychological games and tries to undermine people's confidence. As someone who is leaving a role because my manager put me down constantly, one question to consider is how much is this job worth it to you? There is a difference between handling crisis and abusing a person interviewing for a job and it doesn't sound like anyone intervened on your behalf, which most likely means she is given carte blanche to act as she pleases. I think being treated with respect is an essential element of a workplace but it's up to you to decide your non-negotiables. In my opinion, self esteem is fragile and can take a hit very easily and it takes a while to recover but it depends on each person. I would make sure you could separate out her targeted abuse and not take it personally or you might be dealing with a lot of emotional baggage from interacting with this person.
AnonymousSeptember 22,2021 at 1:43PM UTC
excellent points, esp because the others in the interview allowed this woman's behavior to go on. Bad vibes. don't put any more of your positive energy into this! This place doesn't deserve you.
AnonymousSeptember 22,2021 at 1:20PM UTC
No, the interviewer sounds totally unprofessional. Even when interviewing a candidate who doesn't meet the qualifications it's extremely rude to cut them down like that in the interview (and could even lead to a lawsuit for discriminatory hiring practices if done to a candidate who decides to fight back).
AnonymousSeptember 22,2021 at 1:41PM UTC
I know you're trying to look at this objectively, but the "woman from Europe" dealt you some personal blows. She sounds unnecessarily harsh (not your problem) and you are taking it too personally (your problem). Take whatever she said with a grain of salt; consider some of this hurtful but helpful criticism, but move on. The fact that you went thru 7 interviews sounds absolutely ridiculous. You've got the experience, resume, references etc...Any employer that draws blood like this isn't worth working for. As an older professional, I tire quickly of all the corporate games and intense "scenarios". Don't you feel like they ran you thru too many hoops? You should run and forget this place.
AnonymousSeptember 22,2021 at 2:07PM UTC
This is absolutely disgusting! I can tell you that is the most unprofessional and rude behavior I have ever heard. I would run from that position and not give it another thought. Do not give that any power and believe in yourself. My guess, you intimidated her because she probably isn't as strong as you were and she was embarrassed.
move on as you said - best thing to do.
So sorry you had to endure that!
AnonymousSeptember 22,2021 at 2:48PM UTC
Try and accept that her reaction points to very deep issues she has .....
Cecile PittsSeptember 22,2021 at 2:56PM UTC
My mantra for this kind of behavior is:
I can’t fix you. (Her mind is made up, don’t waste time)
My energy doesn’t help. (Perseveration hurts me)
My job is not to make a story. (Let it go)
AnonymousSeptember 22,2021 at 3:10PM UTC
Seven interviews and a financial case study? Is it possible they were leading you on and trying to get the financial case study out of you for free? It sounds like the "good cop/bad cop" technique that investigators use to get a confession out of someone. It seems very fishy that when you present your hard work this one VP (conveniently located in Europe so you most likely wouldn't work with her here) tears you down as if you're not good enough.
Maybe the situation is above board and this VP is testing you, as others have said. It's appalling behavior on a number of levels, but I guess successful "global" companies behave any way they want nowadays. This nasty employee is allowed to speak to potential employees like they're performing animals - your "teeth were not showing" - and yet she has risen to the position of VP. What a world.
Mark FitzpatrickSeptember 22,2021 at 3:31PM UTC
Why seek improvement ...the bitches were simply gaslighting you ( lying )
froerden@yahoo.comSeptember 22,2021 at 3:40PM UTC
The European woman was testing you. From everything you have said, you should have passed the test. It’s the worst kind of interview tactic. I experienced it only once. The ceo canceled my 3 rd and final interview. I pushed back by ensign him all my qualifications and reasons he should interview me again. (I had nothing to lose!). He agreed and I ended up getting the job. And he was a great boss (except for that testing) and I worked there for 5 years. I hope that’s all this is and you get the callback and the job.
60isthenew40September 22,2021 at 4:02PM UTC
I agree. I think the VP was tasked with testing exactly what buttons could be pushed and how the OP would respond. IMO, I think the OP should push back and rise to the challenge. As you said, she has "nothing to lose."
Kelli MahoneySeptember 22,2021 at 4:29PM UTC
I get that this could be testing, but I'm someone that doesn't play games and won't play games. As soon as I felt like someone was playing games to "test" me, I'd walk away from the organization. I worked for someone that was really big on games and gaslighting, and it would be so traumatizing to wonder when that was going to come out again after I took the position. It would always tarnish my trust with my boss and the organization. My mental health comes first, so my answer would be no way.
Karen GongawareSeptember 22,2021 at 4:01PM UTC
She is jealous and sees you as a threat, so she brings out the bitch girl in her. Is she someone who would be your supervisor? She's already made up her mind not to hire you, so give her a piece of yours. Basically tell her to shut the French Toast (being nice here, not really known for nice lol) up and if she doesn't have anything relevant to say, zip it sweetie. There's your teeth!
AnonymousSeptember 22,2021 at 6:14PM UTC
Thank you everyone for the feedback on my post. I feel less mortified. As most of you suggested, as this women would have been my direct boss, based on her behavior, it would not have been productive relationship. I’ve learned a bit and I’ll move on. Thank you again for taking the time to share your thoughts! Very helpful.