Direct report knows it all

71 Comments

1. AnonymousAugust 28,2024 at 2:51AM UTC

   Perhaps explain to her that you would like to help her get ahead in her career, but if she wants to do so on your team, although you will consider new ideas, you have established procedures that have been proven to work and that she needs to follow. See what her response is, and if this is not what she wants to do, tell her that you will be happy to back her in transferring to a position where she feels she is a better fit.

2. AnonymousAugust 28,2024 at 3:37AM UTC

   Thank you for your advice. I like the way you worded “established procedures that are proven to work”. I’m going to use that!

3. AnonymousAugust 28,2024 at 9:06AM UTC

   Guess she wasn't trained as I was (probably a generation or two ago) to not make suggestions during the first six months on the job until you knew how the team operated. Hopefully she "sees the light" and can work with your team. It would be a shame to lose a talented team member due to inability to adapt.

4. misskelleypAugust 28,2024 at 3:36AM UTC

   Thank Heaven your boss is backing you up!!

5. AnonymousAugust 28,2024 at 3:47AM UTC

   I agree! I’m fortunate to have the boss that I do. I realize how rare this can be and I’m very grateful.

6. AnonymousAugust 28,2024 at 12:37PM UTC

   Oh Jen. She sounds fun.

   First, you brought her in over a year ago and she still has a lot to learn? Do you have a clearly defined job description for her - and have reviewed with her? Did you have a clearly defined 30/60/90 (and maybe more) plan for her? The way she keeps running to your boss when you say something you disagree with, I'd consider bringing the 3 of you together for a meeting and a reset of expectations for this employee. Perhaps consider putting her on an unofficial PIP (because, as we all know, common knowledge of a PIP is that it's meant to term you and it's just to paper a file - although I have seen success with them on a few occasions). Just something along the lines of 'you need to complete X project by X date' or 'take X training course by X' or demonstrate knowledge of something by a certain date.

7. AnonymousAugust 29,2024 at 2:45AM UTC

   Yes… still a lot to learn. It was a complete subject area change for her so I’ve been lenient.

   I’ve created a career progression plan for my small but mighty department. It’s endorsed by my boss and HR. She has a clear job description; we all do. The rub is that she sees her contributions falling in the higher title, while I see them falling in her current one. She said that my viewpoint is just one opinion and shouldn’t dictate her ability to be promoted. But I’m the boss! I run the department! It’s literally the most influential opinion in regards to advancement on this team! It’s so baffling.

   I like the unofficial PIP idea. Thank you for your guidance.

8. AnonymousAugust 28,2024 at 1:02PM UTC

   Sometimes people get in their own way of progress. Level set expectations one last time. She needs to want to you aren't able to convince at this point. Give her tools to help develope on communication with added learning, give her a deadline, then follow up with review, feedback and clarification on what she learned. It's not about what she's doing, IMO, it's about HOW she's doing it. Explain the why on this new attempt to develop her, and also be honest that you must see a change in 2 weeks and then sustainable improvements moving forward. Ask her on how does she want to be coached, how does she want to get feedback. Be clear on what needs to happen and also be clear on if improvement doesn't happen what could be next steps, exit from the cpy or? Also, you can learn from this, you see potential but were these the same behaviors with her prior leader. I would suggest asking more questions prior to their move. It's hard when you see that potential, but you can't want it more than what they are wanting to learn.

9. AnonymousAugust 29,2024 at 2:40AM UTC

   This really resonated with me. Thank you for taking the time to share your advice.

10. AnonymousAugust 28,2024 at 2:30PM UTC

    This is why experience trumps everything.

11. KatAugust 28,2024 at 2:39PM UTC

    Stop being so nice. It's great that you see potential in her and went to help her advance in her career. But some people you just can't reach, and that's ok. Maybe your coaching/communication style doesn't work for her. But that's not your problem, it's hers. I wouldn't be surprised if her previous boss had similar issues with her. She seems to think that she knows everything and should be promoted, despite not grasping the basics of her job or understanding how to follow procedures. It's time for a serious talk with her. Tell her if she wants to get promoted, she's going to have to learn her job and SOPs very well first. If she's not willing to do that, then it's time for you to part ways. Stop wasting your time and energy on someone that doesn't appreciate your efforts. Either she wants to be part of your team or she needs to find a different team that would suit her better.

12. Lea BeatriceAugust 29,2024 at 2:38AM UTC

    Thank you for opening my eyes. At the end of the day, I really do feel like I’m wasting time and energy.

13. AnonymousAugust 28,2024 at 4:43PM UTC

    She does not have potential if she does not listen. She clearly does not know how to even act appropriately and does not seem interested in learning the new role. Your attempts to assist her have fallen on deaf ears. Let it and her go.

14. AnonymousAugust 28,2024 at 9:22PM UTC

    Institute formal 1:1s on a consistent schedule. The following agenda is up to you: Use the first 10 minutes to praise. The 2nd 5 to 10 minutes to coach on things that didnt go well, next 5 to 10 minutes to counsel on desired improvement with deadlines and final 5 minutes for questions. Make sure your boss is on board.

    Follow up with an email to document. This is key so there is a clear paper trail. This will be your downfall and open the door to a she said-she said.

    Don't make too much small talk. The more regimented the better so she doesn't take control and use the time to school you.

    You must lead on this not be casual in your interactions. DOCUMENT everything and always copy your boss. The lack of process all this time has created this lack of understanding and respect of your role and her role. She feels she's your equal and can put you in check by going over your head.

15. AnonymousAugust 29,2024 at 2:36AM UTC

    Thank you for your suggestions. We have weekly one on ones and an HR-endorsed career progression plan with clear, measurable behaviors that must be demonstrated. I don’t think lack of process is at play, but I definitely agree she sees herself as my equal.

16. AnonymousAugust 28,2024 at 9:48PM UTC

    She doesn't sound like a team player. Is she trying to update your technical skills? That might be worth a listen

17. AnonymousAugust 29,2024 at 2:33AM UTC

    I’m not convinced she is, but I’ll keep an open mind. Thank you for this insight.

18. AnonymousAugust 28,2024 at 10:13PM UTC

    I agree that this person is acting this way because she thinks she is your equal and can shut you down by going to your boss.

    Make sure your boss is not playing both sides.

19. AnonymousAugust 29,2024 at 1:05AM UTC

    Let her know this is a learning role. That you hired her to learn so you can help her succeed. Rewind a minute and think about what was said to this person in the interview. Pull out her position description and review it with her. Make sure you let her know we will collaborate but as your manager I’d like to help you learn. If she’s resistant I would contact HR and put her on a PIP. Then she prob needs to find work elsewhere.

20. AnonymousAugust 29,2024 at 2:32AM UTC

    Thank you for your advice. I will definitely revisit her job description with her.

21. Cindy GloverAugust 29,2024 at 1:26AM UTC

    Is she excited!? Nervous?

22. AnonymousAugust 29,2024 at 2:31AM UTC

    I wouldn’t describe her behavior as nervous, quite the opposite. She’s over confident in the value of her contribution.

    I would say she’s excited, definitely energized and quick to act.

23. AnonymousAugust 29,2024 at 6:06AM UTC

    So she's basically not open to any criticism or correction. You have your hands full.

    Since you have one on one meetings and she is not open I guess you're stuck until your boss jumps in. Which it sounds like they sign off on her behavior by not backing you to her face and making a hard boundary.

24. AnonymousAugust 29,2024 at 2:38AM UTC

    That would be amazing, but they won’t take her back.

25. AnonymousAugust 29,2024 at 12:31PM UTC

    You should start asking her a lot more questions. Like, what evidence can you show me that this will work better? Why are you making this suggestion? Let me to you why I'm choosing to do things the way I'm choosing And then present her evidence that your method works better.

    It might be that she's trying to impress you. On the positive, it does sound like she is engaged with the job. She's cares enough to offer her opinions. People don't speak up when they don't care.

    So then tell her you appreciate her speaking up, that it shows she's engaged and thinking about the role. You appreciate the enthusiasm. You want her to grow as this is a new field for her. You feel that the best way for her to learn and grow is leading by example and showing her best practices that have been proven. And you want her to trust you and your process a bit more.

    Note that I didn't say judgement, I said process.

26. AnonymousAugust 30,2024 at 2:54AM UTC

    I appreciate your distinction between judgment and process… thank you

27. GirlBossanova934974August 29,2024 at 1:04PM UTC

    I have been in the Marketing profession for 31 years. If you are dealing with this, the first thing you need to be doing is have your subordinate provide some sort of evidence that what she is proposing might work. Show us a competitor's campaign! Show us another idea from another industry? Academic research? Some webinar etc from the American Marketing Association (AMA)? And then let's sit down and run some numbers. Where and what is the potential ranges of ROIs? Open up the discussion. From my experience in the last few years, I have found that Marketing has become the home of too many folks playing it safe AKA settling on substandard campaign ideas that stopped working years ago. I would keep an open mind as a result. But demand EVIDENCE at the same time.

28. AnonymousAugust 30,2024 at 2:53AM UTC

    I love your focus on evidence, I’m going to underscore that more with my team.

29. GirlBossanova934974August 30,2024 at 4:36PM UTC

    There are several places to find "evidence". I always start with competitors. You would be shocked on how much $$ are squandered with fancy marketing AB tests when a simple examination of a few competitors' websites would suffice. Why re-invent the wheel over and over again? Looking at industries where it is dog eat dog eat dog is another great place to look. If a company can survive where the competition is fieriest, there's a great place to look. I just finished up with marking up a JIRA ticket this morning with my Marketing team. We are a well known social media platform but our organic search tactics are obsolete at best. Let's take a look at this well known personal injury law firm and COPY what they're doing.........The competition there is beyond fierce and this law firm is going it right.

30. Kathleen Norton-SchockAugust 29,2024 at 1:05PM UTC

    How about investing in an external leadership course or coach for her? Anyone, who has ever succeeded in leadership, knows that listening skills are paramount for being a great leader. You could make a deal. You invest in her; she brings back the learning to enhance and empower your whole team; and she commits to doing that for a reasonable period of time to benefit from the investment you have made.

31. Michele SinclairAugust 29,2024 at 1:13PM UTC

    You probably need to be direct and if that doesn't work, then have a plan to put her on a PIP. It doesn't matter how sharp or hard working someone is if they are not coachable.

32. AnonymousAugust 29,2024 at 1:30PM UTC

    I can see various sides and possibilities here. Some, I'm just guessing because I don't have the full story. It sounds like a recap- get to the heart of the matter- conversation may be due---to get everyone back on track.

    I would also recommend you get some grounding whether it's from (external) mentorship or leadership coaching, or therapy (because there's a lot at play here). Does the HR have personality testing/programs they use? I've worked for several companies where they're used to help highlight peoples' tendencies (e.g. Myers Briggs, 16 Personalities, Enneagram, DISC, Clifton, Big 5, Kolbe, etc.). Great for team understanding, conversation, and shared language. Also, you may wish to try a coaching style -it could help your dynamic.

    There are some opportunities to be real and also not give all your cards away. Whatever you learn you can use with this or other direct reports.

    Perhaps your direct report is a go getter without respect for you and is dragging you to your wits' end. Perhaps your direct report is eager to show you what they know, is a go-getter, wants to move up and hopes you'll help them. Many direct reports have no interest in taking your job...they want their own (and if they are an internal hire- chances are they may have some impatience about what they think they're due)- so perhaps read her file to see if she could be on track for something. There's an opportunity to learn what your direct report wants and needs. And yes, you can draw some boundaries on how the can present information to you and when.

    Then there's the old chestnut of it just not being a good fit- --help move them along.

    I hope you seek some information and it helps you with your next decisions. No one wants to be at their wits' end.

    Deep breath.

    Good luck!

33. AnonymousAugust 30,2024 at 2:51AM UTC

    Thank you for your suggestions. I will remember to keep those deep breathes coming!

34. AnonymousAugust 29,2024 at 1:54PM UTC

    Sounds like the situation has been allowed to grow due to lack of clear and strong leadership, boundaries and messaging with action.

    There is a reason the boss allows the two to battle it out.

    I would get some training to grow into the leader you need to be.

35. AnonymousAugust 30,2024 at 2:50AM UTC

    I feel a bit judged with this comment… what type of training would you suggest? Here’s what I have under my belt so far: I have an MBA from a top 20 school, I’ve been through the company’s leadership development program, I have 2 mentors within the company, I’ve gone through 3 months of leadership coaching paid out of my own pocket, and I keep up to date on management research in my personal time. You reference messaging with action as being crucial to improvement. Do you have any suggestions on action I could take?

36. AnonymousAugust 29,2024 at 2:24PM UTC

    For sure, she's ambitious. But she's also insecure. Being the new person on the team, she knows full well that she's starting off at a disadvantage with no marketing background and not much experience. So, she's flexing to try to show that she can earn her keep. Probably, what you'll have to do is to set up a team meeting with everyone. Include your manager in on it too. Talk about team processes and how each person's involvement makes the process work and that you appreciate the creative collaboration, and you want to keep this type of culture within the group. However, make it clarion clear that you are the manager and that any and "all" creative decisions about projects (what will be included or not) will come through you alone to be forwarded on to your manager for a final sign off. (NO EXCEPTIONS) Trying to circumnavigate this process in any way could result in being written up or dismissed.

    Maybe giving her a hint that while you're gracious you're not to be played with or disrespected, she'll make the choice to either fall in line or respectfully fall out and go somewhere else.

37. AnonymousAugust 29,2024 at 2:40PM UTC

    I once had an employee very similar to this. I advocated to hire her when no one else wanted to because I saw the potential. Shortly after she joined my team it went downhill from there. In a one on one (coaching session) she told me I must hate my job, and I was a dream crusher. I went to my supervisor, and we involved his supervisor and we all four had a meeting. Expectations were clearly laid out for her by my boss's boss and their faith in my leadership. We had her develop a plan for change/improvement for herself, she would present to me the following week. I either would approve or decline it. She came up with a really good plan, executed it and became one of my best employees.

    I shared I would help her reach her goals and sincerely meant it. It happened to be out of my department. I assigned her some additional training and connections that would help her reach her goals. She cried when I changed positions sometime later. Quite the turnaround from being a dream crusher. I wish you all the luck with turning your situation around, just know it can be done.

38. Beth WalkerAugust 29,2024 at 11:17PM UTC

    That’s an amazing story of how to be fantastic supervisor.

39. AnonymousAugust 30,2024 at 2:44AM UTC

    That’s such a wonderful story, thank you for sharing.

40. AnonymousAugust 29,2024 at 4:38PM UTC

    Sit her down. Be super clear when you do that in taking her into your team you wanted to coach her in ways that will benefit her overall long term career. Let her know that you need to give her some feedback which will be hard for her to hear. Cite a specific unique example of what you described and then let her know that doing this in future is not accepted. Make every 1-1 going forward have an objective. Let her know that if she disagrees with things you want done that she needs to direct her concerns to you not the skip level. Let her know that in order for her to move up in your team you need these things and that the rewards will be there if she can follow your leadership. If not then encourage her to move departments with your blessing, and find someone else a better fit. Don't waiver, be the leader that you are.

41. AnonymousAugust 30,2024 at 2:43AM UTC

    Thank you for your encouraging words

42. AnonymousAugust 30,2024 at 4:31PM UTC

    I am OP above, happy to help! Keep up the good work and never doubt your ability to get someone back in line. If they don't then encourage them with your blessing to look elsewhere. That will shake them a bit but will hopefully get them to acknowledge their part in things. I call it holding the mirror up, something they definitely in your example are NOT doing.

43. RobinAugust 29,2024 at 8:14PM UTC

    Have a heart to heart with her and say what you said here. She obviously doesn’t have a grasp of her own actions and how her actions come off to others. She will either back up and learn or she will fail and maybe never understand that it’s ok for her not to be the boss (or that everything is her way or it is wrong).

44. Bathena DixonAugust 30,2024 at 3:12AM UTC

    Some people are just not teachable.

45. Crystal GarbsAugust 30,2024 at 10:28AM UTC

    You should just hire me. I will listen. And i have experience in that area.

46. AnonymousAugust 30,2024 at 12:23PM UTC

    I hired someone exactly like her. Not enough experience but I though I would give him a chance. He always wanted more and more money, even though he did not have the skills or time on the job to warrant pay increases. He wouldn’t take direction and would do things behind my back if I was ever out of the office. Eventually he convinced my CEO that he could “totally do my job” (which is hilariously not the case at all). So I was laid off and he was promoted. I was the director of HR with 12 years of high level management experience and I have an MBA in HR….he was a recruiter/coordinator with 3 years experience and didn’t even finish his associates degree…but he was a good talker…just couldn’t walk the walk.

    long story short…after I left things were a mess for them as this person couldn’t even answer basic payroll or benefits questions, could not create a spreadsheet to save his life and has no idea how to use any of our HRIS systems after 5 months on the job. I should have let him go.

    It sounds like this person has a huge ego problem and needs to be managed out. If you have spoken to them about the behavior and have coached them on the expectations and they are still acting out of pocket…get them out before it becomes toxic.

47. Marcy WilliamsAugust 30,2024 at 12:35PM UTC

    I’m invested in your story now! Did they fire that HR recruiter?

48. AnonymousAugust 30,2024 at 12:39PM UTC

    Im curious to know if they asked you to return? It seems like your previous employer took the opportunity to bring him on at a much lower pay rate.

49. AnonymousSeptember 1,2024 at 2:35PM UTC

    Ugh. Same thing happened to me! Guy was a sociopath and would yell at me in meetings. He couldn't create a spreadsheet to save his life and asked other team members to help him but in meetings would flex in front of CEO. He would constantly badger me with communications asking for help even after endless 1:1 and trainings. Like a stalker. HR did nothing. They could pay him less and fire the higher salaried employee. Win win.

    These are uncoachable people who should be fired. Don't be nice- set strict boundaries and consequences. This can be difficult if the person is a narcissist etc. like I delt with so may not be worth it. They need to learn how to act professionally and as part of a team.

    Social media has also created unrealistic ideas of the workforce. This guy would quote hacks from TikTok. Can't.

50. Jackie RukaAugust 30,2024 at 1:16PM UTC

    I am hearing this more and more. The “younger” generation have no clue what’s involved in high level positions nor the detail and accuracy of the behind the scenes work.

    Companies are catching on to this trend , the want more do less mentality does not fly and these folks are either being let go or not getting hired. Which is an opportunity for the seasoned person to step in as a new hire.

    So you can start giving her the work that she needs to learn and leave her to learn it or you can set clear boundaries and warn her that this is what needs to be done and if she cannot adhere to the system then it is not a fit and let her go… if she is dragging you down then why would you keep her? She is not an asset. So you might ask her that?

51. Jacqueline GomezAugust 30,2024 at 1:20PM UTC

    There are a few ways I might handle this:

    1. Ask her if there are any areas in which she feels she can improve. You can assign the question prior to your next 1:1 and that might help remind her she should be thinking about, bring greater understanding to you of her actual confidence level, or be a starting point for you to share your thoughts on where she can improve
    2. If she has a review coming up, that’s a great time to bring up this issue. You can mention you’d like her to seek more opportunities to learn and express your thoughts on her potential and some challenges you see to her achieving them (such as the issue you described).
    3. schedule a progressive check-in with assigned questions: “how can we improve our communication?” “How can we better foster opportunities for learning” “how can we celebrate wins together?” “What would improve teamwork?”. You can both answer and then meet to go over each of your thoughts.
52. Rachel SklarAugust 30,2024 at 2:13PM UTC

    "Each coaching attempt ends in disagreement and then she goes straight to my boss (who backs me)." This person sounds like an ongoing problem. Potential means nothing when the actual is a disrespectful time-wasting saboteur.

53. AnonymousAugust 30,2024 at 2:33PM UTC

    I just resolved a situation just like this, but with the added complication that the person I hired was a friend/peer from a previous role in a different group. I’ve gotten the advice to hire people you know and trust, but transitioning from a peer relationship to a leader/subordinate did not work out. After 2 years of trying to coach & set boundaries, this person went to my boss to say she planned to look for a job outside the company because I am such a terrible leader. My boss moved her to another group and told me I needed to let it go and not take it personally. My boss advised not all leadership styles work for everyone, and some of the comments shared by this person made it clear it was a them problem and not a me problem.

    In the two years I dealt with this, I was a new people leader and desperately searched the internet for advice, convinced I needed better leadership skills to navigate the problem. I got lots of advice similar to what you have received in this forum. I was too nice, this person was entitled and didn’t respect me or boundaries.

    Ultimately, the only solution was to go out separate ways and wish each other the best. I still get random messages from this person trying to “teach me” to be a better leader when our groups intersect at work… but it’s no longer my job to coach them, so I just ignore or have a noncommittal “thanks for your feedback” response. My takeaways going forward are not to hire friends or former peers. This really knocked my confidence as a leader - don’t let this shake you. It sounds like you have a very supportive boss. Good luck with your situation and be kind to yourself, whatever the outcome!

54. AnonymousAugust 30,2024 at 6:08PM UTC

    You can't Force people to act in their own best interest I would talk to your boss to see about maybe moving her to a different team.

55. Mary Lea McTurnanAugust 31,2024 at 2:31AM UTC

    People like she who knows nothing but is loud positive and wrong will wreak havoc in a small corporation or a division of a large company. They’re poison

56. Mary Lea McTurnanAugust 31,2024 at 2:29AM UTC

    Fire her. She’s undermining your entire team. Believe me. Just do it

57. AnonymousAugust 31,2024 at 12:38PM UTC

    Absolutely agree. Jen is toxic and won't get better

58. Beth Whight MoralesAugust 31,2024 at 1:34PM UTC

    Give her her own project to work on. Give her a deadline, and set her free to get it done. It doesn’t have to be an important project, it just has to be one that she can demonstrate either her skill, or lack thereof.

    If she smashes it out of the ballpark, then figure out opportunities to listen to her in a way that doesn’t continue to undermine the team. If she fails miserably, then it’s a lesson for her.

59. AnonymousAugust 31,2024 at 2:16PM UTC

    Let her go.

60. AnonymousAugust 31,2024 at 3:37PM UTC

    Why are you allowing insubordination? Seems like a mistake to foster this behavior.

61. Balanced458716August 31,2024 at 7:12PM UTC

    This could be a learned behavior from prior management. So, instead of coming at it with “if she would just listen”, as questions about if there was evaluation of information that she may not have access to or considered. Some people learn by being presented additional or alternate information. You are wanting “asking” but maybe your methods of communication have the opportunity to be expanded here as well. Are you “teaching” as a leader or task assigner? If that is how you want to teach, you may have to bring additional context to the tasks assigned.

62. AnonymousSeptember 1,2024 at 12:02PM UTC

    There was a boss I had whose directions I would follow and I stopped giving him advice because he was reacting like you but I didn’t trust him at all. The reason was his leaders and peers were all telling me he is failing. Make sure you’re not in this situation.

63. Mary PoolSeptember 1,2024 at 12:52PM UTC

    Have you read the book, “Magic Words. What to Say to Get Your Way” by Jonah Berger? It sounds like your teaching style and her learning style are in conflict. I recently started a new position, and my boss, who trained me, constantly said, “This is how we do it now. When it is your responsibility, and you think there is a better way, try it out. If it works, we’ll change the process.” (This was without me making any suggestions.) I have made changes, and I’ve also seen the logic of some current processes. This approach really empowered me. A phrase like “This is our process now. If you find a better way after you’ve learned it and used it for a while, let me know, and we’ll discuss changing the process. Right now, you need to learn the current process.”

64. Dr Ginny BaroSeptember 1,2024 at 12:58PM UTC

    I must say that the way you described it to us sounds extremely simple and clear. Perhaps this is a combination of a statement and a coaching conversation with “Jen.”

    The first part, the statement is the facts —the way you described them to us: that you saw in her a lot of potential,, even though you knew she had a lot to learn about marketing. And while she has been there for X number of months you have noticed the following and explain to her what you have noticed. And finish that conversation with something like I still see a lot of potential in you however, how willing are you to be coached, and how willing are you that I support you in achieving your goals? And it’s really up to her in which direction she wants to move forward. You can only do so much if she’s not willing to support herself. Sometimes people are not self-aware of their actions and their comments, etc. With your comments, you help her gain that awareness and with the Coaching you help her agree to a new behavior in order to support her. I would also recommend regular check-in to see how things are going between the two of you.

65. AyianSeptember 1,2024 at 2:00PM UTC

    I second this approach. Sometimes people think so differently from the way you think that they don't pick up what you're trying to give them in a less direct approach. Be exactly this direct. Let "Jen" know as well that the behavior of trying to "teach" you a "better" way is dismissive of your experience and successful career when she doesn't know ask of the pertinent information and that it is deeply frustrating. Let her know that the attitude she gives you when you don't follow her well meaning suggestions is unprofessional and not appreciated. Tell her that you feel unheard and unheeded.

    Truly, sometimes people need to hear the unfiltered (but not rude or emotional) version in order for things to click.

66. LORI-ANN BURLINGAMESeptember 1,2024 at 2:02PM UTC

    It sounds like Jen has an exaggerated sense of self-importance. I applaud you for trying to coach her; however, you need to set boundaries and she needs to respect them. If not, it may be time to let her go.

67. AnonymousSeptember 1,2024 at 4:26PM UTC

    I would speak with your supervisor and HR to explore the best path forward.

    From what you’ve shared, the person seems to genuinely believe she is contributing by “auditing” your work and providing feedback on how you can improve. If it is unclear to her that this is not how she is expected to create value in your team, you will need the help of HR and your leadership to recalibrate this before any amount of coaching can help.

    It is also important to humbly and objectively evaluate your own skills and behaviors as a manager so you can grow from this experience and be a better leader. Actively seek feedback from your team members and stakeholders so that you have a pulse on what is working and what is not.

    Given that this person has been on your team for a year and has been allowed to create a negative work environment, you need to ask yourself how much faith you have in her being able to change, how capable you are to move forward and take back control of the situation, and whether you are willing to allow her to continue destroying value for the rest of the team.

68. AnonymousSeptember 2,2024 at 4:41AM UTC

    You are in a very difficult situation. It may insecurity , work styles or neurodivergence. You may try a separate project where she can shine or fall. The other option is to suggest comments come through in a SWAT analysis, Design Thinking or similar. Both allow everyone to listen what works and needs improvement on a project or task. It may allow her to see that there is more than one way and that all opinions will be noted but that doesn't mean they will be used at moment. Best of luck!

69. AnonymousSeptember 2,2024 at 4:15PM UTC

    I started out in marketing, but went on to tech writing and developer after college, but still worked closely with marketing and I can say this. I’ve worked over 30 contracts. Mostly tech consultant. In my opinion, I’d be very careful of someone who tries to correct your work or your process. There is a difference between opportunities for improvement and trying to take your position. Be careful

70. AnonymousSeptember 2,2024 at 5:05PM UTC

    Have a private conversation with her to discuss the definition of her role. Give her a document that explains the role. Explain to her that you are the mentor, not the mentee. Then give her specifics of what you'd like to see her progressing on in the next few months.

    Then set up some regular meetings (1x a week) and go over her progression and where she may be slipping.

    If the role is totally different from what she thought it was then she should switch back to the other job if she can't get it together.

    Before the meeting with her, talk to you boss and show her the plan you've outlined for 'Jen' to improve. That way when she whines to him, he's already in the know.

71. AnonymousSeptember 3,2024 at 1:36AM UTC

    I agree with above, but would add have a convo w/HR as well to cover your bases. Out of curiosity, is she a GenZ? Another option would be to be just as direct back to her and see how she reacts. If she can dish it out, she should be able to take it.