Advice for how to hang in there in a toxic environment while actively looking for a new job?

22 Comments

1. AnonymousNovember 14,2024 at 6:06PM UTC

   Have you looked into short-term leave options? If you can get a doctor's note for your mental health, taking at least a month's break (typically at a reduced pay) could be super beneficial and give you more time to look.

   I also recommend Teal for tracking your job applications and resume versions. It helps put everything in one place and not feel so overwhelming.

2. AnonymousNovember 14,2024 at 7:08PM UTC

   I start looking at the things I can control and shift to help support my mentor health.

   1. Meditation
   2. Sleep adjustments so I have the best sleep I can get. There are apps to help you do this. I also invested in an hatch that is so great to train you fir quality sleep.
   3. Exercise. I find that anything done outside really pays off. Nature is a powerful force of good.
   4. Surround yourself with supportive and positive people. That means friends, family and acquaintances that engage you and offer uplifting energy.
   5. Eat well. A balanced diets supports, not only your body but your brain.
   6. Laughter. This can be live comedy shows, filmed standup shows, rom-com movies, and just lighthearted people that make you laugh.
   7. Comfortable lounge wear and bath products so you can wash tge day away.
   8. A good cry when you fall out of balance.
   9. Volunteer and share your good fortune with others less fortunate.

   You need to invest in a strategy that takes your focus from work to your personal life and what you're building towards. You must proactively invest to your world and what feels lighter with less stress and feels rewarding.

   Remember no one can make you feel anything. You can choose to see and keep things in perspective and not to allow the toxicity to rob you of all you value, your joy and your gratitude. This job will soon be a distant memory. Do what you can not to invite the negativity in.

3. KimplanetstlNovember 14,2024 at 7:36PM UTC

   Just my two cents. I've been working a long time and I'm miles beyond burned out. If it's obvious they don't care about you, then stop caring about them and what they think of you. Take your paycheck and leave work at work. Give them an honest day's work for an honest day's pay and absolutely not one thought or emotion more.

   But if it really bothers you, like I said I really don't care anymore, keep working on moving on. It's called work for a reason and not picnic. We don't have to get attached.

4. AnonymousNovember 14,2024 at 7:41PM UTC

   There are only 24 hours in a day. Whether you spend your waking hours stressed and consumed with who did what at work and allowing it to eat away at you is your choice. I've learned to choose at happier, fresher outlook. Same job, same work place but different choice. I choose me and not them.

5. AnonymousNovember 18,2024 at 12:24AM UTC

   Love this! Great advice!

6. AnonymousNovember 14,2024 at 9:23PM UTC

   In no particular order: pay attention to how you receive information and how you respond, do not give your time to those who are not nice, only be cordial, not short or reflecting any anger. If you give what they want, the mad antics from others will be fueled and it continues. If you don't like someone, be kind anyway. If you don't like something someone said, be kind anyway. Do not ever reply in an email any emotion. Only professional responses, do your job, get paid, but in your spare time, find a better place to work. Think of what kind of people you want to be around, then reflect that, and seek work in environments or industries that may have a kinder environment. Spend spare time taking care of you, doing self care, spending time with those you love and who love you. Know everything in life is temporary and so is this situation. Focus on that. Focus on finding a more fertile environment. Then one day, you will have this place in your rear view mirror. Stay strong!

7. AnonymousNovember 16,2024 at 1:57PM UTC

   This advice is on point!!!!

8. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistNovember 14,2024 at 11:22PM UTC

   I think you've already made the important first step - you have decided you're going to find a new job. Good for you!

   Because I am exceptionally fond of things like electricity and living indoors, I, too, have never been in a position to just quit.

   For me personally, know that my unhappiness at work will now be a short-term situation has always shifted my mindset. Knowing that - though it may take a while - there is a light at the end of the tunnel and this will not be my longterm circumstances has always helped me cope.

   Even though looking for a job can be a second job, knowing I'm being proactive is helpful to putting me in a better headspace. It let's me say "sure, I can do that" to a ridiculous request where if I was going to be there longterm I would either be unhappy about or want to push back on.

   GOOD LUCK in your search!!!!!!!!!!

9. Laura MamaevNovember 15,2024 at 2:16PM UTC

   Get everything you can in writing (email) when you are communicating with those toxic people. That way you can politely refer back if there is ever a question of who said or did what. After a verbal conversation, you should proactively send a 'just as a recap' email and ask for any clarification.

   As for mind shift, post-it notes, happy stickers, a simple bracelet you wear every day, even if they don't have anything written on them, but just know that the visual is a reminder that you are only in this for a little while longer.

10. AnonymousNovember 15,2024 at 8:16PM UTC

    You've received some really solid advice. This is completely within your control. You have all the power over how you protect your mental health. 100%

    Bottomline is you should not see yourself as a victim. You are smart and confident and capable.

11. GirlBossanova934974November 16,2024 at 2:11PM UTC

    Needless to say, I have read a lot of work related episodes like this in the last several years. From one of my most recent jobs, I found myself working with a collection of very unhappy people eager to spread their unhappiness just about everywhere. Solutions were never on the table. It was all about endless griping and pointing fingers whenever something went wrong. Work was the LAST THING on these people's minds. Absenteeism was a big issue. All that being said, I would avoid overusing the term, 'toxic' whenever possible. It sounds too much like victimhood which rarely gets anyone anywhere. As far as your next role, you would be best served NOT NOT NOT applying to jobs with hundreds or thousands of applicants. Your chances of success are very low. Be sure your LinkedIn profile is fully filled out and you can be seen as providing value. If this is done correctly, you will be hearing from company and third party recruiters. Again, you are NOT the victim here. You make your own breaks and take advantage of opportunities that come your way...

12. AnonymousNovember 16,2024 at 5:29PM UTC

    Plan your calendar each day with built in breaks and when you take them completely step away. During that time do not respond to anything and use that time each day to either learn something new, or to job hunt, or take a class or to just sit and do nothing and not think about work. Be religious about this and do it daily. At the end of each day before you leave work sit and close your eyes and visualize leaving the office and locking away the toxicity for the day. Good luck in your search.

13. AnonymousNovember 17,2024 at 8:05PM UTC

    What I did until I found another job: head down, mouth shut and never give them an excuse but they will find one.

    Have an outlet to release the stress and a good friend to listen and support you while looking for work.

14. AnonymousNovember 17,2024 at 10:50PM UTC

    Keep your head down and just do your job. Do NOT trust anyone there. Talk to a therapist to vent if you need to.

    if you have to fake it. It’s exhausting and remember to take down time to recoup before work each day.

15. Marci IacobucciNovember 18,2024 at 1:56PM UTC

    You’ve received a lot of good advice. But here’s one more. And it’s useful in any stressful work situation—even if it isn’t toxic. Find an app that has short (2-3 maybe up to 5 minute) breathing, meditating, stress relieving, etc. exercises. Either schedule a break (the short ones you can do from the bathroom) or use when/as needed. I’ve even done the breathing ones walking down the hall to a meeting. Just pop in your headphones—wireless earbuds are best and no one will notice.

16. AnonymousNovember 18,2024 at 2:27PM UTC

    I was in the same situation as you. I had one co-worker who made my work life miserable and no-one higher up did anything. My suggestion to you is keep your head down, until you get a new job. Then make sure you do not resign or turn in your two week notice until your apsolutly sure your leaving. It will be harder to tell them before the possiblity since it's a toxic environment. Also if you could save a little money before leaving it would be good. This is also good if you want to leave on the spot, if it comes to that.

    On the mental health side of things I wrote in a journal and every week I did one thing to look forward to. If I just looked forward to that thing it made things less stressful. I hope it helps.

17. AnonymousNovember 18,2024 at 2:34PM UTC

    Lots of good advice here.

    As others have said, keep your head down and do your job to the best of your ability. Be polite and firm with trouble people.

    As far as shoring up your own mental health… I like the stress release exercises like punching a pillow, pushing a wall, shaking, shivering, etc. things that complete the stress cycle when you can’t speak truth to power and stay employed.

18. AnonymousNovember 18,2024 at 5:20PM UTC

    I have had the same experience and I was not able to get a new job before they found reason to lay me off (not fired, they stressed). That usually happens at the end of the fiscal year at a non-profit so that may provide a time frame to ease stress if you work for such an organization. There is not much else you can do except keep a written chronicle of everything they say and do to you. In the end there may be a way to negotiate an exit with compensation by threatening to have a lawyer engaged.

19. Stephanie Branch LekowskiNovember 18,2024 at 7:57PM UTC

    Boundaries and quiet quitting, if you haven't already. I used to view quiet quitting as a negative but if it's done in a smart way it could make things bearable for you until you find a safer place to land.

20. AnonymousNovember 19,2024 at 12:38AM UTC

    Haven't seen this recommendation, but if you are finding your current situation too overwhelming, I would recommend seeing what you can do on a contract basis. This could also be a bridge to a good "permanent" opportunity, but would also give you a feel for the culture of a company before taking another "leap".

    Wishing you all of the very best! Hang in there - you will find the right opportunity - Someone that really values your contribution to the company. (Also be sure to put achievement statements in your resume - Your advantages to the hiring organization - Money made, saved, time saved, customers acquired, etc. with numbers - Preferably start the achievement statements with numbers.)

    If you want some more good ideas for free - check out Andy LaCivita's videos. Also, of course, having an "in" with the organization helps. See if you can get a contact within the organization.

21. Hold on Lee LouNovember 21,2024 at 8:36PM UTC

    At work, do your best to remain neutral and focus on the specific tasks your job requires. Whenever possible, choose not to engage with toxicity. Do document actual problems and concerns, though, in case you need to refer back eventually.

    Meanwhile, make copies of anything that would go into your portfolio/examples of your best work.

    Find opportunities to network - with so many applicants, your best chances are going to be found through personal connections. Is your company part of any industry organizations that host events? Do you have former colleagues in other companies you can take out to lunch? Do you have vendors/clients who have companies you may fit into?

    Basically, keep your head down, invest in your relationships and nurture new ones ... and when you leave work, leave it there. Phone off after hours, no checking work email, etc. Find something to do after work that fills your cup.

22. KathrynDecember 21,2024 at 12:57AM UTC

    I just left this ans I did this keep applying and just do your best at work. When you leave they will act like it was a surprise so just keep saying i could not turn it down and move forward. I kept my head down and just did my work and took criticism and praise with no expression. just keep doing that. I know it is hard but emotionally disconnect as much as possible