Only Female in an All male department.

Anonymous

February 14,2023 at 4:29AM UTC

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Only Female in an All male department. Manager was recently fired for harrasing me. Im still in that company because i have nothing else lined up but feel like im carrying that stigma now. Its so embarrassing. Really hate having to start over again. Its just so unfair. My other team mates have been supportive but really feel like its time to start fresh. How can i find a company that is progressive/diverse in their recruitment? Would hate to be stuck in the same situation again

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Melissa NobileFebruary 14,2023 at 1:33PM UTC
So they fired the jerk, your coworkers are supportive of you, and now you feel sorry for yourself? Really?!
Do your job. Do it well. Look for something else if you really want to do so. Hold your head high. The only one who sees any stigma is you. Get out of your head.
Leila AnsartFebruary 14,2023 at 2:16PM UTC
I can understand feeling like you do. Do you mind if I hang out in left field for a second?
When coming out of a difficult experience like this, your mind, which has been running on defense to protect you, might need a gentle nudge to take a different perspective now that the harasser is gone. Now that you don't need to expend the energy managing that person's behavior to you, where could you direct that energy to do great work, come up with innovative solutions, and/or fully show your talents in your role? Maybe there is more for you in this company than you've seen yet due to the jerk's influence.
I don't mean to make this sound simplistic, but I find that understanding my mind's patterns of trying to protect me helps me identify when a thinking pattern I'm stuck in is outdated now and isn't serving me anymore.
And if none of that is true and you know in your gut it's time to move on, then trust yourself and do it. I always recommend talking to current employees of the company you're interested in. You can do reach outs through LinkedIn, or sites like this or Fishbowl. You can gain some great knowledge that way. Also prepare some good questions to ask of the new company during interviews, such as asking why the person you're replacing left, or how they reward behaviors that align with their company values. Best of luck.
Joyce Breitweiser HallFebruary 17,2023 at 1:56PM UTC
Do you know how unusual it is for a harasser to lose their job? Usually the company protects them!
This tells me the company values you and wants to keep you. Please give them a chance.
Harassment is trauma, have you gotten counseling to deal with the trauma? If not, I strongly recommend it.
AnonymousFebruary 21,2023 at 7:50PM UTC
Why would you quit? I think the better option is to openly talk about how you felt. You can only shed light on this type of behavior if you speak up. Make sure people know you are still committed to a great work environment and you are hoping that everyone understands it is hard to be a minority and the only different person in a team. Let them know you feel supported by the ones who are there and let them know you support them too. Then go back to work! It sounds like your company actually cares about you and protected you from this kind of abuse. That is definitely hard to find even now so moving to something else may not be the best move. Congrats on being freed of that person.