I have a coworker who was told by a manager that she doesn't fit in anymore.

29 Comments

1. AnonymousMarch 30,2024 at 6:33PM UTC

   Not fit in anymore, why? Assuming she’s up-to-date on any certifications, apps or tools of the trade?

2. AnonymousMarch 30,2024 at 6:41PM UTC

   She should document everything and see an attorney. Unless there is a specific reason (conflict, issues with her projects) then it's likely age related.

3. AnonymousMarch 30,2024 at 7:53PM UTC

   or sex

4. AnonymousMarch 30,2024 at 7:59PM UTC

   Hard to know; can be ANYTHING. Unfortunately, no job is promised past x days and supervisory board can release for ANY reason, logical or not.

   No attorney can be worthwhile without solid evidence of wrongful acts by employer.

   Might be best to start looking to move on.

5. AnonymousApril 1,2024 at 2:54PM UTC

   Not all states are at-will regarding firing. In many states, you can’t fire people because of their age (or gender, sexual orientation, race, religious beliefs, etc). “You don’t fit in any more” by itself doesn’t constitute a valid reason. A good attorney can definitely help discover if there’s a pattern of getting rid of older employees , it’s worth looking into.

6. AnonymousMarch 31,2024 at 6:08PM UTC

   Asking for a friend? Why is she not asking this? Perhaps there are other reasons aside from age that mean she no longer fits. Yes, ageism is real but maybe her numbers are poor or she has done something else that doesn't suit changes in the org. She should have an open conversation with her manager and ask directly. Experience has value and she should show her value in ways that it's meaningful especially if it is in sales.

7. AnonymousMarch 31,2024 at 10:56PM UTC

   This just happened to me. They fired me and said I didn't fit in anymore. I was fired on Tuesday and have 6 interviews lined up this week with other companies. They fired 4 people since July for this reason-they only have 2 full time people left in the office-it's just not a good place. I'm ok with not fitting in with their clique.

8. AnonymousApril 1,2024 at 4:31PM UTC

   A new boss can absolutely tank a career and it's framed as the subordinate's issue. Ask me how I know.

9. Sharon MartinApril 3,2024 at 1:27PM UTC

   Happened to me as well and was by a new HR Manager, 3 months after getting a $5000 salary bump. It is to get people to quit and is absolutely age related

10. AnonymousApril 1,2024 at 1:20PM UTC

    Coming from an HR perspective this seem ripe for an EEOC age discrimination claim.

11. Cynthia Hintz-WesterfieldApril 1,2024 at 1:24PM UTC

    I feel like I’m experiencing the same type of thing.

12. GirlBossanova934974April 1,2024 at 1:58PM UTC

    Oh my heavens!
    This is WHY we send managers to formal HR training or require MBAs or management training! DING DING DING! Employees over 40 are a PROTECTED CLASS. The minute you single out the protected class in this case, you have just opened up yourself up to the most bread and butter AGE DISCRIMINATION LAWSUIT! The plaintiff's lawyer will have a field day. The only thing left to figure out is the damages. You cannot single out people based upon age and saying they are not a fit IF the rest of the office is 20-30 years old. This will NEVER protect you in court. PLEASE COMPANIES! Educate your managers!!

13. Mich.Fr.April 1,2024 at 4:11PM UTC

    She should file an age discrimination complaint and get a lawyer.

14. AnonymousApril 1,2024 at 4:30PM UTC

    She should move on if she can.

15. Jennifer YeeApril 3,2024 at 3:09PM UTC

    Yes there are other real estate firms that might have a better cultural fit. I mean brokers seem to switch agencies frequently

16. AnonymousApril 5,2024 at 12:03PM UTC

    To what? And why - without clarification and a good reason. If they dont want her there they need to take tesponsibility for letting her go not displace it by making her feel unconfortable or criticized. Thats manipulative and dishknorable and ‘just getting out’ absolves them of profeasional responaobility and peesonal accountability

17. AnonymousApril 1,2024 at 5:14PM UTC

    If she is being singled out, treated differently than her Gen Z peers, she might have the ability to bring an age discrimination lawsuit. She needs clear proof that she is being treated differently in the same position and grade level.

18. AnonymousApril 1,2024 at 6:58PM UTC

    What does that mean, “anymore”? It sounds more personal than professional.

19. Maegan, Nike Sales Rep & Career CoachApril 2,2024 at 2:02AM UTC

    either go to HR or ask the manager for clarification

20. GirlBossanova934974April 2,2024 at 5:09PM UTC

    I don't think so. The EEOC is not the party to worry about. The employment lawyers are the biggest threat. We are talking an easy settlement here.

21. AnonymousApril 3,2024 at 12:35PM UTC

    First thing’s first: tell your friend she absolutely 100% should NOT quit her job. It sounds like she might have a case for an age discrimination law suit, but it’s kind of an unspoken rule in employment law that if she quits, she is giving up her claims to a suit and it will be much much harder, if not impossible to sue.

    Next, she should document everything that has happened that might constitute age discrimination: things people have said, things she’s witnessed, unfair assignemebts/workload, etc.

    Then she needs to draft a formal letter to her HR department. If the company doesn’t have an official HR, she should send the letter to that manager’s manager. The letter should be an official request for investigation into the possible age discrimination. If she isn’t sure what to say in the letter, there are a lot of great examples on Google, or she could even use chat GPT.

    Next, she should file an inquiry with the EEOC. It’s a multi-step process that starts with filling out an online “inquiry” form. Then, she’ll make an appointment to meet with someone from the EEOC for an interview. After that meeting, they’ll let her know if she should file an official complaint or not, based on the facts she shares.

    And finally, she should google age discrimination attorneys in her area and just start calling them until she finds one that will do a consultation with her.

    Note: this is not intended to be legal advice; I am not an attorney. I’m just a disabled person who is currently dealing with discrimination/retaliation at my job, and this is what I’ve learned going through it.

22. Ashley ZApril 3,2024 at 1:12PM UTC

    Without more details, it's hard to say for certain if it is specifically age discrimination just because"she's 50 and there's a large percentage of Gen Z." doesn't support it enough to me. Is she spouting off about personal beliefs that could be insensitive and offensive to others? Is she creating a hostile work environment because she doesn't like changes being implemented? I can sympathize all day and lean in to the "get a lawyer" advice, but without more information, this really is too vague. She should request a sit down with the manager to explore if there's specifics to this complaint and if there's any room for improvement. At the very least, this will lead to confirmation if it is solely age discrimination.

23. Lindita DurajApril 3,2024 at 4:38PM UTC

    She needs to ask the reason why her manager thinks that and request it in writing. Also to add what she needs to do to fit in if really still wants to work for the company/manager.

    there are not specifics for us to help your friend because we don’t know the full story.

24. AnonymousApril 3,2024 at 7:53PM UTC

    "...Also to add what she needs to do to fit in if she really still wants to work for the company/manager. "

    Add in "... different firms have different personalities and work styles."

    I expect the Gender Z clients are excited about first time purchases and up-sizing as families grow. The Gen Z staff would be able to build on this excitement.

    Likewise, there is certainly a real estate market for "older" personalities that would relate to clients who are selling / downsizing and would better understand the client's point of view and needs. Just sayin'!

25. Melissa HacheyApril 3,2024 at 8:44PM UTC

    All theses companies are supposed to be all about inclusion. Telling someone they don’t fit in is the opposite of that.

26. AnonymousApril 4,2024 at 9:01PM UTC

    My advice to you is stay far away from the situation.

    There will always be more to a story like this and rarely is something like not fitting in about age.

27. AnonymousApril 7,2024 at 7:28PM UTC

    Thanks. That is another way of looking at the situation.

28. AnonymousApril 6,2024 at 3:00PM UTC

    My first thought is age discrimination - it’s real and happens every day, sadly. She needs real

    concrete evidence as to why she “doesn’t fit in” - i doubt they have it; I was told the same in my previous job - in my 50’s, I’d been in this role for 9 years with great reviews. I got an employment attorney who immediately filed with the EEOC and negotiated a settlement agreement to leave. A horrible experience I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

29. AnonymousApril 7,2024 at 7:20PM UTC

    They didn't give any specifics as to why. She even asked manager who said that. But wasn't told.

    It all sounded very odd to me. It's a shame because a person can be let go for pretty much with or without a reason. Unless of course, it is an illegal situation you can prove. Sad.