Six months ago my agency hired me with a written two-year relocation deal (meaning I have two years to make the decision to relocate permanently across the country, which they will pay for within 24 months).

16 Comments

1. AnonymousJanuary 18,2023 at 8:30PM UTC

   I'm sorry you're feeling the pressure to relocate!
   I believe you're doing the right thing to keep bringing up your written agreement about the two-year deal. However, deals can change, especially, if you decide not to relocate.

   My only concern for you is that you have ~18 months left to comply on your agreement. If you truly do not feel called to relocate, then don't, but understand the consequence that comes with that decision. Plus, the reality is you're also juggling a family so realistically, this would be the timeframe to make a decision to do it or make plans to leave the company in next few months.

   Granted, the massive layoffs across multiple industries don't help but all you can do is plan and hope for the best outcome.

   I don't have a straight answer here (just a stream of thoughts) to give you because I feel this is a very personal decision, and you essentially have to do what's best for you and your family. I believe the one plus side of relocating though is that you wouldn't be away from your family as much. I mean, you may still travel anyway but at least you'd be based in the same city/state as where you home office and family is.

   Continue to think on it/pray on it/ meditate on it -- weigh out the pros and cons. Maybe take the family to the city so they can catch a vibe too before you make a final final decision. Good luck to you and sending positive energy your way!

2. AnonymousJanuary 18,2023 at 10:31PM UTC

   If you travel 60% of the time, how much of that time is to the area they are asking you to relocate to? If it is more than half, it might be a case that it is less stress, wear and tear on you, and travel expense reimbursement if you decided to move sooner rather than later (which would be a win for you and your company). Have you checked with areas that might be a decent commuting distance and have good schools for your child? If you haven't started looking, the next time your boss asks, let him know you are concerned about the area and would like some time off to explore areas outside the city center (I'm making an assumption here), as suburbs generally are much different than the city.

3. Rachel SteinerJanuary 21,2023 at 3:24PM UTC

   Agreed about the suburbs. I work in a metro area, and none of my coworkers actually live in the city. If the poster is only seeing the city on these trips, she may be getting a skewed view of what the metro area has to offer.

   OP: have you gotten the chance to talk to any co-workers in the new area about where to live, where the good schools are, etc.? I can't tell from your post if you've started to do any reasearch about living in the new area. That would also be a good thing to bring up in meetings with your boss: "I'm having trouble finding an area with a good school". "I'm looking at options outside the city but haven't settled on an area yet." Stuff like that. Also, if the new area has a lot of opportunities in your field that you wouldn't be able to find in your current area, this is a really good opportunity to move on a company's dime. You don't have to stay there forever.

   All that said, after doing your due diligence in researching what's available, go with your gut (but not with your fears)! Only you know what is best for you and your family.

4. AnonymousJanuary 18,2023 at 10:47PM UTC

   You need to determine if the pressure to relocate is real and if your 2 year decision period has somehow changed without you being notified.

   If the pressure is coming from colleagues that have no authority over your role, then you have to come up with a canned response lije"i will let you know in a year"

   If, instead, management is now looking for a more local person and has an expectation that you will, say, move by this summer, then you need to discuss that and come to some compromise since you are not at all sold on the move.

5. Melissa Boillot, SHRM - SCPJanuary 19,2023 at 4:55AM UTC

   If you aren’t interested in relocating, I’d start looking for a new position ASAP. The labor market is still strong despite the headlines about layoffs (see nationwide unemployment claims or the jobs report), but that could change in the coming months.

   Best of luck as you make a tough call!!

6. Bonnie CoventryJanuary 19,2023 at 2:08PM UTC

   That is a generous amount of time given to commit to relocation. I view that from both sides. This allows the company to also make sure there's a fit to their position and allows you to do the same. Providing $ to relocate is too expensive to offer and when it is, in my opinion, it's an exception than a given with many companies. I also believe this depends on the level of the position. Here's the thing, moving with kids we mostly see done when school is not in session, so preparing and looking at the timeline on where it hits for your family is also key. Agreeing to this expectation hopefully was thought through, and weighing if this position is what you wanted during this time without the cost of moving needs to be a focus for you, in my opinion. You gotta love what you do, bottom line. I take their 'when are you moving' as 'are you going to stay with our company or leave us' instead. Good luck in your decision.

7. AnonymousJanuary 20,2023 at 6:31PM UTC

   You should start looking immediately. Clearly there is some issue with the costs of your travel and that is causing them to push you for a sooner move. You did commit to move so if that is not going to happen time to move toward another local job or one that could support you for 100% remote work.

8. AnonymousJanuary 21,2023 at 2:04PM UTC

   Tell your boss the truth. You have your family to consider in the relocation. Make sure he knows that it can’t happen during the middle of the school year. You need the time to find an appropriate place for them. Ask if they have services available for that. (They won’t be able to help you with school/neighborhood etc past the realtor level). All these requests should quiet him. Always answer the when are you going to relocate question with a “I’m waiting on x for an answer about y”. Meanwhile start looking for a new job.

9. RLSJanuary 21,2023 at 2:13PM UTC

   Do go inward and never let pressure guide decisions. You signed on with intent and purpose. Be lead by the spirit. Do share with your boss and HR your plans not their needs. Ask or search within the company to identify a REMOTE Job. If there is not one then you should begin The job search if you don’t want to relocate which will start you over agin with potential for last hire first released. Is the goal to have a job or be secure or both. PRAY

10. Crystal HowellJanuary 21,2023 at 2:15PM UTC

    I would re read the contract and hopefully you had an attorney review it or contact your local legal aid society they could help too. Or contact the law dept. at a college in your area, I have done that before and it was way less.

    If it is not your ideal job, then what are the consequences if you quit beforehand, contact a recruiter on the side for your ideal job for them to look for you. You are a single mom, how old are the kids? No job is secure, even yours. Start making a plan.

    What industry are you in and what is your ideal job someone on this site might have it?

11. AnonymousJanuary 21,2023 at 2:22PM UTC

    It’s one thing to be mindful and plan to ensure the best decision for moving is made. It’s another to use the timeline to figure out whether you want to move or not. Your post sounds like the latter. While you certainly have the right to stick to the agreement, I can imagine that no mention of a plan at all in response to the question is becoming a red flag to your boss. Consider developing a “plan” for moving that you can communicate. For example: my youngest will change schools in the next school year anyway so the goal for my family is to plan to move next summer, or something like that. It doesn’t have to be true, mind you rather a way of explaining the reason why you’re considering using the whole time. Continuing to express the agreement in response, while technically ok, is likely betraying your hesitation about moving at all and could hurt you in the long run.

    Having moved cross country three times in my adult life, I encourage you to plan the best that you can. Moving that far is best done with a decent planning timeline. Take advantage of the time you’ve been given to do that if you decide to move.

12. AnonymousJanuary 21,2023 at 2:44PM UTC

    superb answer all the way around.

13. AnonymousJanuary 21,2023 at 2:34PM UTC

    If you have hesitations at all about relocating for this job, do NOT do it! Trust your instincts, both about the company's integrity with the offer they made to you as well as how you would fare in a place that you really don't like. One of the things I think people regret most is signing up for relocations and then the job doesn't work out the way they imagined. What if you lose your job, or get laid off? Can you still afford that new city? Would you even want to? You would certainly be required to pay for your own relocation back home or to somewhere else if things did not work out. Also think about the overall social and political climate in the new location. Is there health care expansion available if you weren't able to find another job quickly? How much unemployment would you receive if you lost the job? It can differ significantly from state to state. It is wise to consider everything before you uproot yourself solely for a job. Good luck.

14. AnonymousJanuary 21,2023 at 2:42PM UTC

    if you don't have a written contract, be careful. you are an "at will" employee and they can change the promise at any time. You mention that you are a single mom, so how are you traveling 60% of the time? I don't mean to quiz you, but something doesn't add up. It sounds like you have the flexibility to travel and be gone from your current home for extended periods, or days...but you can't move (?). Overall...the vibe I get is that you really don't like your employer's city location, so you don't want to move. Let's be honest here. And if that's a fact, then you need to own it and start looking for another job, or accept the fact that you're going to need to move there. Is the company paying for your hotels, etc while you're staying/working there? They might be looking to cut unnecessary expenses and are pushing. Decide what you want and need--forget about "he said/she said"....and work from that position.

15. AnonymousJanuary 21,2023 at 2:56PM UTC

    I’m curious why many responders assumed your comment about being on the road for work 60% of the time /2-3 weeks straight was in the office vs work travel to clients etc (as I read it) So why relocate (you will not be in the office anyway!)

    I imagine you were happy with a two year consideration…. I have been in a similar situation and made the move early at my start… fine but you need to be home to actually find one and settle in… then you have kids and will need childcare, schools etc as a single parent. Not a small feat.

    I agree with the poster bellow on her suggestion about school year. I’d also start looking for a job. You will be happier in the end.

16. Annetta MosesJanuary 24,2023 at 6:28AM UTC

    I suggest you re-read the relocation deal. If the language is you have two years to relocate, the company is expecting you to move. If the language is you have the option to relocate, the company expected you to make a decision. Then and only if you decided to move would the company expect you to move.

    The question for you to think about is why would the company give you a deal with an option to relocate. If the company didn't intend for mandatory relocation, the position could have been 100% remote with an option to relocate in the future.

    If you don't want to relocate, start looking for a position now.

    Good luck.