Add more fuel to the fire, my coworker was promoted over me and I have been at the company longer.

26 Comments

1. AnonymousMarch 31,2023 at 6:34PM UTC

   I can't tell from your post if you were being considered for this promotion or if your boss knew of your interest. No clue what certification you're talking about but is this something the other candidate had? If you need the health benefits at the end of the summer, please do everything possible to keep your cool for the next few months and treat this coworker with the same respect you expect to be treated with. Good for your for congratulating her.

   I get the sense your real beef is with your boss so don't direct any negative ire at this person because she got promoted.

   Your best recourse here, as you mentioned, is to take this certification exam, pass it, and leave the company. Chart a path forward and execute.

2. AnonymousMarch 31,2023 at 8:16PM UTC

   The certification is for another industry. I have been in the process of getting my ducks in a row to leave my current job. The best recourse is to keep my head down, do my job, and concentrate on passing my exam and get out. I was upset because both of us have the same position and job title. I don’t necessarily want her new promotion, but the fact I was not considered upset me because her title will show her as above me. She is a favorite and all the favorites get promoted while the ones in the out group are invisible. I honestly don’t care enough to talk to my manager about it because I want to leave and that’s been a long term plan. My coworker is younger and I could pull the age card, but I have no proof and I don’t care enough to pursue that avenue. Another coworker who is younger is also being considered for a promotion in another department. It’s a losing battle, especially with this company so my best bet is to stick to my goals and keep my cool.

3. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistApril 1,2023 at 1:10AM UTC

   You're mad you didn't get a promotion for a company that you're not planning to stay at for a job in an industry you're looking to transition out of?

   Unless you're working in a union environment, promotions are usually not based on seniority.

4. AnonymousApril 1,2023 at 2:34PM UTC

   Great point and this just further reinforces my decision to move on. I did not know that about promotions in private vs. union.

5. Alexis GladstoneApril 1,2023 at 1:26PM UTC

   I understand being upset and wanting to vent when things like this happen. I also agree with Joan, if you have no plans to stay, then vent outside of work (and this is a great forum to do that), then turn your focus back to your goal of the certification and exit.

   Stay positive and professional at work to get you through your surgery and actually securing a new job. Then you don't even need to look back.

6. AnonymousApril 1,2023 at 2:30PM UTC

   Thank you.
   I had talked to my husband about whether I should share this with a manager I am friends with in another department, but my gut is telling me to keep my mouth shut about this one. We usually have lunch monthly outside work and talk about stuff, but the title change will speak for itself. I am keeping this information outside of work.

7. AnonymousApril 2,2023 at 2:59PM UTC

   Please resist the urge to share your anger with a manager in another department. You know full and well your goal would be for that person to go to you manager and say: Sally is upset she didn’t get the promotion. If you want to have this conversation with you boss, then request a time to meet, like a professional adult. Don’t pull others into this circus.

   Like Joan said, you’re continuing to invest a lot of time into a role that you plan to leave. Give yourself another day or two to agonize about this then make the conscious decision to move on!

   Tread lightly with this other manager that you lunch with. Her primary focus will be to preserve her own position and paycheck. Many workplace friendships are just that, seasonal in nature and attached to the workplace.

8. Alexis GladstoneApril 2,2023 at 6:55PM UTC

   I wouldn't talk with anyone at work about this. Things get out (and misconstrued) even with the best intentions by the individual who shared it with others.

   Keep your "eye on the prize!"

9. AnonymousApril 2,2023 at 1:56PM UTC

   I can understand how you feel but keep in mind, there is always the possibility that your co-worker will screw up something important that you have more experience in. However, I like that you have a plan and I understand staying until after your surgery and exam. For now, use it as a time to focus on your goals and keep going. You will find something better.

10. AnonymousApril 3,2023 at 1:50PM UTC

    really? your response to say 'well you can always hope your coworker fails'?!?!?!

11. AnonymousApril 4,2023 at 4:21PM UTC

    Unfortunately, I have witnessed this happen in a previous place of employment. At the end of the day, it is up the OP to decide how she plans to proceed and she does have a plan in place so all we can do is wish her the best!

12. AnonymousApril 2,2023 at 11:49PM UTC

    her good fortune doesn't take away from you, or your future. Maintain your friendship with your coworker- and then ask for constructive feedback on how you can achieve the same promotion (i.e., critical conversation with your boss)- After that, just stay under the radar...have the surgery (don't quit!)_ and ride out the storm. Alot can change in the next few months.

13. lyn johnsonApril 3,2023 at 12:19PM UTC

    take your pto, plan for your surgery, study for your exam and get out. If your current employer doen't understand or acknowledge your worth, make sure you do and get the hell out.

14. AnonymousApril 3,2023 at 12:50PM UTC

    As you should. You’ve started ÿour search immediately after you received the news, right? ?? Job searches seem to be taking extra time, so keep that in mind! I hope your next role is the equivalent or HIGHER than what they passed you over for!

15. AnonymousApril 3,2023 at 12:55PM UTC

    I cannot tell if this is part of another post, but longevity isn’t necessarily a factor in promotions. It seems from your comments you’re angry with a couple of factors here, but pulling the “age card” for a promotion it’s not clear you applied for, in a job you were looking to leave, in an industry you don’t want to work in , where you seem to have no basis for proving discrimination other then the fact that she is younger then you, seems irrelevant. Perhaps your boss got the sense you had one foot out the door, perhaps you never expressed direct interest in advancement, perhaps their metrics were higher than yours. Having the same job title does not inherently give you equal candidacy. While I understand being frustrated I think your anger is misplaced.

16. AnonymousApril 3,2023 at 12:57PM UTC

    How long you have been at a company does not determine whether you are qualified or the right fit for that position. If you wish to be promoted, keep working on your skills.

17. AyianApril 3,2023 at 1:32PM UTC

    There are so many reasons a person is selected for a position where someone else wasn't that tenure alone is not an adequate excuse to be this upset. I hope that you are happier in your next role and that surgery goes well for you. Best wishes.

18. AnonymousApril 3,2023 at 5:20PM UTC

    As a manager, a reaction like this would come across to me as privileged/entitled. Your anger may be misplaced and tenure is not a reason alone to be better suited to a promotion. It's okay to feel upset, hurt, etc- as a manager I would have hoped I would have had a conversation before news broke (it sounds like this was shared outside official channels with you, so it may be coming). I would take the opportunity when it does to express your disappointment and ask why you weren't considered for (if there was no formal application process) or weren't given the role. Take a moment to reflect on the feedback before you respond. Even if the answer is "I am having a hard time reconciling this feedback with my performance. Can I take a day to really think about, process this and we can talk more tomorrow". You need your job now, so remaining cool calm and collected and act like the professional you are.

19. AnonymousApril 3,2023 at 5:21PM UTC

    Tenure does not guarantee you a promotion. Lick your wounds, stay the course, do your surgery.

    When you can and the announcement comes out publicly be gracious, not snippy and in private let your manager know that you seek the same type of promotional opportunities and would like to know what you can personally do to get there too. If you get any negative feedback take it and use that to fix what is broken or not quite there yet and then look for a place where that kind of role may exist. Don't compare yourself to the other person, compare yourself to the job that you want.

20. AnonymousApril 3,2023 at 6:28PM UTC

    Thank you. I believe part of it has to do a lot with office politics, as there is an in group and out group which is favoritism. Not saying she is not capable, nonetheless I feel I put my time in, worked hard and not offered a promotion. I am keeping my head high, acting like I know nothing, keeping my mouth shut at work about it, and getting my ducks in a row. Rationale or not, leaving the company or not, it still sucks. But I am not going to let it deter my goals and long term plans. I made the mistake of sitting quietly, working hard, and waiting for the rewards as us Gen X people were told to do during our early work years. Clearly that no longer applies. I could learn from others how to speak up more.

21. AnonymousApril 3,2023 at 7:06PM UTC

    I agree, there is a need to communicate your value to ensure that your work is seen and recognized as a contributor. I do think your initial posting would lead me to think that you might be contributing negatively and be part of the problem in your workplace though. Language like "I would give my notice today" and being livid are red flags for me that you might be rather reactive in the workplace and causing issues/drama without having the full story. I realize I am using a very small part of dialogue here and don't want to make generalizations but reactions like this are also problematic, especially when you are admitting to missing the full picture and not having had a conversation to get a better understanding...just something to consider.

22. AnonymousApril 3,2023 at 7:04PM UTC

    I’d like to start by saying that the generalizations you are making about younger workers here are just as problematic as making assumptions about older workers. Next, the replies all seem to focus on the only context the OP gave in the original post, which was that the person promoted had less longevity then they did, I don’t think stating that there are many industries where longevity doesn’t equate to a promotion is missing the point. Fostering resentment, or alleging something nefarious was done benefits no one.

23. MislynApril 4,2023 at 4:10PM UTC

    Try having the office cleaner making more money then you and you being the one that writes the checks. That’s a slap in the face right there.

24. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistApril 4,2023 at 11:02PM UTC

    I don't see where anyone on here said longevity doesn't matter but lots of people have pointed out that longevity does not qualify you for a promotion - except potentially in a union setting.

    I don't see where the OP mentioned that she even put herself forward or applied for the promotion. Usually to be considered for a promotion in every company I've worked at, you have to indicate you're interested in the higher level role. Managers aren't mind readers.

25. IntentionGirl299847April 5,2023 at 2:10AM UTC

    Just curious as to why you would take her word for promotion and not ask. Phrase it as you heard rumors and wanted to know.

26. Robyn McCabria KelsoApril 6,2023 at 12:11PM UTC

    I feel this in my core. It has happened to me so many many times.